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outside the walls: Non-Asylum Inkings

Just a quick couple of notes here about a couple of films on DVD today that might tide you over between re-watches of 8213 Gacy House and the October 26th release of the next Asylum feature, MILF.

The Lost Boys: The Thirst Mini-Review

This is the third installment in the marginally-important vampire series, though it still feel strange to call it a series, considering that the second two films have only come about in the last 18 months, a good twenty years after the first film was released. But here we are.

Corey Feldman returns yet again (what's more, he executive produced, meaning so long as he lives, these are going to keep coming), bringing with him this time not Corey Haim (he's dead) but Jamison Newlander, the original other Frog brother (although technically he's dead too, in the movie, that is, though only in a mortal sense), and, like Feldman, this guy hasn't aged a day but to swell. 

The story in a nutshell: a blend of comic books, raves, celebrity culture and Feldman's real-life band on the soundtrack. The story more specifically: Edgar Frog (CF) is recruited by a hot British chick to find her brother, who's been kidnapped by vamps and turned addict via a new street drug called The Thirst, which is really just vampire blood.



"Hello, Lost Boys 3? This is 'True Blood.'"

"Uh, Hi, hi there, buddy, what's...uh...what's up?"

"I think you know.")

As though this ripoff (tie-in?) wasn't enough, the film also covers the other current base by making the British chick the author of a series of wildly-popular vampire novels on the verge of being turned into major motion pictures which CF despises because they "make vampires sexy." Umm-hmm.

Punchline is, this V blood only comes from one source - the head vampire, or, as the hot chick refers to him, "the bloodsucking alpha." Meaning to stop the source is to stop the problem, the problem being all vampires everywhere.

As our story progresses, the expected conventions are toyed with - extreme displays of immortality like parachute-less skydiving, that fucking "Cry Little Sister" song every other minute, references to characters from the first film, complete with copious clips, et cetera et cetera blah blah blah. 

It's all spoilers from here, so I'll just say that although nothing will ever be better than the first installment, The Thirst is loads better than part two, The Tribe, because unlike that film, this one doesn't take itself seriously; it isn't trying to be a hardcore vampire film, it knows it's place, it's stars' place, and as such turns up the camp, the comedy, and the self-awareness to the perfect pitch, making this actually pretty enjoyable, and easily the best work Feldman's done since voicing Donatello in the TMNT live-action movies.

You could do worse at the video store this week.

Doghouse Mini-Review
And as a nice double-feature with the above, check out this latest Brit horror comedy (in the vein of Shawn of the Dead and Severance), about a group of male friends trying to help another recoup from his divorce by taking him to a quiet, isolated village where the women outnumber the men 4 to 1. Problem is, when they get there they find that all the women have been turned into man-hating cannibal-zombie-things. For real. Ridiculous premise, of course, but this - in the best possible sense - is a ridiculous film.

Basically, it's all spoilers, or if it isn't, it's too much dam fun to give away even the littlest bit of. If you've trusted my opinion on anything I've written - from film reviews to the dates on which I claimed to post them - you'll take my word that this is a riotous 88 minutes and time well-spent. The performances - especially by Danny Dyer (Severance) and Stephen Graham (Snatch) - are stellar across the board, making this a male ensemble akin to Very Bad Things and Diner. Yep, I just name-checked Diner in reference to a UK horror flick; deal with it.

Witty, hilarious, raucous, rollicking, gnarly, gory, hair-raising, charming, several other gregarious adjectives and the best male-bonding movie I've seen since The Hangover, if not ever. Very, very cathartic. 

Teamed with Lost Boys 3, this makes for an enjoyable if bloody evening.

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