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Birthday Wishes to Writer/Actor Geoff Meed!



On this final day of the year Committed would like to extend birthday wishes to writer/actor/one-day-director/multiple-Looney-award-nominee Geoff Meed, of I Am Omega, 6 Guns, and Airline Disaster fame, next to be seen in the fifth installment in the Fast and Furious franchise, Fast Five, set for release April 29th, 2011. Mr. Meed is also currently writing his next script, an as-yet unrevealed SyFy original movie.

So Happy Birthday, Mr. Meed, and may you have a prosperous, action-packed year!

A Look Back, A Look Ahead

On this, the final day of 2010, I thought it appropriate that we take a look back on the work done by The Asylum this last year, as well as peek into the future at the projects already lined up for 2011, now only hours away. A reminder that every single film released by The Asylum this year is up for Best Picture in the 1st Annual Looney Awards for Excellence in Asylum Films (voting ends Feb. 2, 2011). 

For a word from The Asylum themselves on the great year they've had, check out this morning's message to us all and click here.

So, without further adieu, a look back at the films that made 2010 possibly the biggest, most successful year yet in The Asylum's illustrious history:



Sherlock Holmes
directed by Rachel Lee Goldenberg
written by Paul Bales
starring Ben Syder, Gareth David-Lloyd, Dominic Keating


released 1/26/2010








Meteor Apocalypse
directed by Micho Rutare
written by Brian Brinkman & Micho Rutare
starring Joe Lando, Cooper Harris, Claudia Christian

released 2/23/2010






6 Guns
directed by Shane Van Dyke
written by Geoff Meed
starring Barry Van Dyke, Greg Evigan, Brian Wimmer, Sage Mears

released 3/30/2010






Mega Piranha
directed by Eric Forsberg
written by Eric Forsberg
starring Paul Logan, Tiffany, Barry Williams

released 4/27/2010






7 Adventures of Sinbad
directed by Adam Silver & Ben Hayflick
written by Adam Silver & Ben Hayflick
starring Patrick Muldoon, Bo Svenson, Kelly O'Leary

released 5/25/2010 






Airline Disaster
directed by John J. Willis, III
written by Paul Sinor & Victoria Dadi
starring Meredith Baxter, Scott Valentine, Lindsey McKeon

released 6/29/2010 








#1 Cheerleader Camp
directed by Mark Quod
written by Naomi Selfman
starring Jay Gillespie, Seth Cassell, Erica Duke, Harmony Blossom, Charlene Tilton


released 7/27/2010






Titanic II
directed by Shane Van Dyke
written by Shane Van Dyke
starring Shane Van Dyke, Marie Westbrook, Bruce Davison, Brooke Burns


released 8/24/2010








8213 Gacy House
directed by N/A (Anthony Fankhauser)
written by N/A (Anthony Fankhauser)
starring Mike Gaglio, Rachel Riley, Jim Lewis


released 9/28/2010







MILF
directed by Scott Wheeler
written by Jonny Haug
starring Jack Cullison, Phillip Marlett, Molinee Green, Jamie Bernadette


released 10/26/2010






2010: Moby Dick
directed by Trey Stokes
written by Paul Bales
starring Barry Bostwick, Renee O'Connor, Adam Grimes


released 11/23/2010






Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
directed by Christopher Ray
written by Naomi Selfman
starring Jaleel White, Gary Stretch, Sarah Lieving, Robert Picardo


released 12/21/2010








And now a look ahead at the productions already on the docket for 2011:







Princess and the Pony
directed by Rachel Lee Goldenberg
written by Bill Parker & Rachel Lee Goldenberg
starring Fiona Perry, Bobbi Jo Lathan, Ron Hajak

to be released 1/25/2011








Mega Python vs. Gatoroid
directed by mary lambert
written by Naomi Selfman
starring Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, A Martinez

to be released on SyFy 1/29/2011






Battle of Los Angeles
directed by Mark Atkins
written by Mark Atkins
starring Kel Mitchell, Nia Peeples, Theresa Jun-Tao

to be released 3/15/2011






Almighty Thor
directed by Christopher Ray
written by Eric Forsberg
starring Cody Deal, Richard Grieco, Kevin Nash, Patricia Velasquez

to be released 5/10/2011






Ballistica
directed by Gary Jones
written by Tony Kandah & Sean Rourke
starring Paul Logan, Martin Kove, Robert Davi, Andrew Divoff

to be released 5/17/2011






2012: Ice Age
directed by ???
written by ???
starring ???

release date TBA




Born Bad
directed by ???
written by ???
starring ???

release date TBA


200 MPH: Midnight Racers
directed by ???
written by ???
starring ???

release date TBA


And there you have it, the year behind us, the year ahead. Speaking as to the year ahead, there's only eight projects announced thus far, meaning we can count on at least three or four more coming to light as we proceed into 2011. And as always, rest assured that as soon as any news drops on these or any other projects, you'll know a minute or so after I do. Happy New Year, thanks for reading, be safe and viva La Asylum!!!

observation notes: 7 Adventures of Sinbad

"The Original Prince of Persia," boasts the box for this gem, though truthfully it's more a tie-in to the recent disaster in the Gulf than to the Gyllenhaal-Disney flick, if anything. Either way, The Asylum's take tells the story of wealthy, handsome, gadabout energy entrepreneur Adrian Sinbad (Patrick Muldoon), who, at the beginning of the film, at least, is a bit of an Ebeneezer Scrooge meets Jay Gatsby, a money-centric megalomaniac in serious need of being taken down a peg or two. When eco-terrorists take over one of his ships, Sindbad - fulfilling his CEO duties, I guess - takes actions into his own hands. But when the chopper he's taking to said ship encounters a freak storm en route, it goes down in the middle of the Indian Ocean, but not before Sinbad catches a glimpse of his ship being crushed and pulled under by a motherfucking kraken. Game on.

As one might expect, the survivors of the chopper crash wash ashore on an uninhabited(?), uncharted, unusual (or as Jules Verne might have put it, "Mysterious") island. It isn't too long before our uber-pampered, pretty-boy trust-funder finds himself in a situation in which his money and power don't account for shit, thus rendering him pitifully overwhelmed:

"Crab!..Crab!..Big crab!" - actual dialogue
 Our hero had better learn to get his panic in check however, as the strange goings-on are only going to get stranger thanks to a series - 7 - of travails - or adventures - young Mr. Sinbad must accomplish if he is to save his compatriots and indeed the world from the mechanisms of an ancient apocalyptic prophecy, return home again, to the real world, restore honor to his family name, and find within himself the better man he was meant to be. What these adventures are, or if and how he surpasses them? The things of spoilers, so I relent.

Overall, I found this to be a pretty inventive script - written, as was the film directed, by Ben Hayflick, a former scribe for the Onion News Network, and Adam Silver, an Asylum employee best known for his cinematographic work on films like The Apocalypse, Megafault and the upcoming Princess and the Pony - laced with twists and turns and homages to everything from The 7th Adventure of Sinbad to Mysterious Island to "Lost" to The Most Dangerous Game to The Odyssey. It was a little slow to start - to me, at least - but once Sinbad and crew find themselves on the island, things move more rapidly and grow more intense, unfurling into one action-packed sequence after another.

As such, a lot is required of the FX in this movie, and for my money, they don't disappoint: helicopters, flying creatures galore, winged fire demons, waterspouts and tornadoes, landmasses that turn out to be whales - that's right, fucking whales! - giant crabs and the Looney-award-nominated Cyclops (which moves like Ray Harryhausen must have imagined in his most lucid daydreams: fluid, formidable, palpable and perilous, A+ work for this market), they all look awesome. The actors' reactions to them, not always so awesome, but that's a minor flaw, and technical at that, so should in no way detract from what are otherwise mostly capable performances.


Patrick Muldoon ("Melrose Place," Starship Troopers, Ice Spiders) as Sinbad delivers the stone-coldest one-liners this side of David Caruso, and he's a little to slimy-seeming to ever be believable as a truly good guy, but say what you will, the guy looks the part, and he's got a helluva jawline. A kind of poor-man's Christian Bale, Muldoon strikes the right balance here between villain and hero, confident but uncertain, and as such is a triumph.


But the real spotlight-stealer here is Looney-award-nominated supporting actress Kelly O' Leary, who according to IMDB has only one other credit to her name, an episode of "Mad Men" in 2008. This is a travesty, as Ms. O'Leary portrayed the overburdened assistant to Sinbad as regal, adaptive, stern but relatable, potent and feisty and more than capable to stand her own ground in these adventures. She is much more than a beautiful face, and turns this role into one of the stronger supporting females parts in all of The Asylum's filmography. Please Asylum, get her back, and soon.

Rounding out the cast is the lovely Sarah Desage as Loa, the native islander girl who is harsh and hard but heart-breakingly human, a kind of evolution from the native women in 100 Million B.C., who were still a little primal in terms of expression; Ms. Desage not only supplies the more obvious eye-candy, but becomes more than that with her earnest portrayal of a woman out of her intellectual league but struggling to hold her own. And she looks a lot like Jax's chick on "Sons of Anarchy."

And of course, the other billed star here, Bo Svenson (Snowbeast, The Inglorious Bastards) earns his paycheck with aplomb as an adviser to Sinbad in the business world. Not really worth a billing, as he's not around much, but he is a name, so, you gotta do what you gotta do. 

To sum up, The 7 Adventures of Sinbad I found to be an intense, action-packed, at times psychedelic and truly original mythological thriller, full of creative visual FX, barbed dialogue, oodles of bloodshed, scantily-clad native women and, yes, even nudity. And the ending...all I'll say is that it's truly bizarre and even more bizarrely-touching. Enjoy. 

Asylum Should-Stars

NEW COLUMN ALERT!

Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles - spotlights on Asylum personnel - and I've done pitches - shameless and fruitless attempts to get hired in marketing/development - but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated, brand-spankin'-new column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum' stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?



NAME: James Van Der Beek

BEST KNOWN FOR: the titular role on "Dawson's Creek," Varsity Blues, Rules of Attraction, Eye of the Beast

PLAYS: roguish clean-cuts, idealists, former athletes

COULD BE USED AS: the good-hearted hero skeptical of the establishment in a catastrophic sci-fi/disaster/Faith Films flick. Anything Brian Krause, John Schneider, Christopher Atkins or Greg Evigan can do, JVDB can do younger. For the time being. 





PJ Soles and some idiot, 2009.
NAME: PJ Soles

BEST KNOWN FOR: Stripes, Halloween, Carrie, Rock 'N' Roll High School, The Boy in the Plastic Bubble, Little Bigfoot

PLAYS: good girls gone just bad enough to still be lovable, sexy tomboys, smarter-than- you girlfriends

COULD BE USED AS: eccentric middle-aged neighbor, aunt, father's new girlfriend, or boarding school housemother in a raucous sex comedy.




NAME: Allen Iverson (if the guy will play basketball in Turkey, he'll make a Mega movie, trust me)

BEST KNOWN FOR: basketball, tattoos, rapping?

PLAYS: basketball, I said that, but with a hardass, smart-alec bravado rooted in a massive superiority complex. That kind of shit always films well.

COULD BE USED AS: a little-dialogue lead in a post-apocalyptic/sci-fi/sports-as-metaphor-for-freedom movie in the vein of Rollerball, Futuresport or Death Racers.


So what do you think? Complete waste of time or a fun little diversion? Let me have it.

Dig On These Stills From Mega Python vs Gatoroid


Man, we're getting a lot of news and stuff here at the end of the year - trailers, posters, announcements - and today the hits keep on coming with the posting of stills from the upcoming Asylum/SyFy original, Mega Python vs. Gatoroid.

These look pretty fucking rad, and that's coming from a confirmed, avid and lifelong ophidiophobe, so for the rest of you they should be out of this world! Still no actual full-on shot of the Gatoroid - still up in the air as to what exactly that is - but the picture of Tiff and Debbie paling around just became my new screensaver.

Check out the photos in anticipation of the film's January 29th premiere, 9pm EST/PST, only on SyFy.

observation notes: The DaVinci Treasure

This high-tech thriller tie-in to the international phenomenon and airport staple known as The DaVinci Code opens with forensic anthropologist C. Thomas Howell and a ski-masked crew breaking into a private residence to rifle through DaVinci artifacts including spectacles ("optics"), and pilfer a page from the artist's notebooks that contains the lost DaVinci Code...x, it's a codex he's looking for, not a code, just to clear that up, legally-speaking. The codex, if properly used, can unlock the path to a great if vague treasure, one worth killing for, as C. Tom soon learns.

After barely escaping with the codex and his life when one of his team turns on him, C. Tom runs smack into a Mafioso-style anthropologist/old rival (Lance Henriksen) who wants two things: C. Tom to join his team of highly-skilled relic hunters, and the codex. Clearly, however, he has a preference should only one of these things be available. See, in Lance's head the treasure should be his because he's been looking for it longer, and C. Tom's just one more obstacle in his way, one that he can take or leave. But, in typically foolish bad guy behavior, Lance gets the codex but not C. Tom, yet leaves him alive to thwart another day. Enter the final, and only reliable, member of C. Tom's own team, a stunning linguist/theologian (Nicole Sherwin) who's more than disappointed at the codex lack.

And all this - the first nine minutes - is just the opening sequence.

The gist of the plot is this: several hundred years ago, the rich and powerful House of Medici had this awesome treasure hidden away so well that the most capable kings and armies could never find it, thanks to one of the architects of this plan, none other than famed artist/inventor/thinker/turtle-inspiration Leonardo DaVinci, who, being the shrewd man he was, secretly left clues to the whereabouts of said treasure in his work and notes. Thus, there's an entire sub-population of anthropologists, archaeologists and historians who make the quest for this treasure their lives' work, and our characters are among them. C. Tom's quest begins with the Shroud of Turin, the mythical length of fabric said to have been cloaked over the body of Jesus following his crucifixion, and furthermore said to bear an image of the body of Christ, burned there upon his resurrection. At this point in the film there were - like there are here, now - a lot of twists and facts and historical tidbits being bandied about, enough that I got a little lost in exposition, but I think that's the long and the short of it. Regardless of whatever I'm forgetting or omitting, C. Tom and his hottie theologian locate the Shroud and find it provides them with still further questions.

But as our heroes go in search of answers, Lance's goons continue to hunt them down for any new knowledge or artifacts they may have. Lots of Euro-action/intrigue ensues: church basements, stairwell shoot-outs, marketplace foot pursuits, that sort of stuff. Like a Goldberg-puzzle-box (if he ever made any) one clue unlocks the next unlocks the next and so on, resulting in a cleverly-crafted intellectual thriller that to divulge any more details about would be to rob it of its mystery. Needless to say, missed opportunities have to be rectified, rivalries intensify, cars get chased by other cars, and helicopters, shrouds become maps, Afghanistan comes into play, camera obscura gets a lot older, bricks are broken, Jesus gets name-checked a whole bunch and Lance Henriksen rocks a left-earring.

The film is directed by Peter Mervis (Snakes on a Train, When A Killer Calls) in a kind of Bourne-style: intentional glitches, freeze-frames, title readouts, sequence speed-ups and a variety of techno-noises tossed in for good measure. The film has some pretty spectacular action sequences and excellent pacing; the momentum never ebbs, building from the first scene to the revelatory climax.


This is partially due to the script, and partially to the actors. I'll start with the actors: Committed-fave C. Tom Howell turns in an exuberant, passionate and actively-pensive performance, really bringing his A-game, making him easily more fun to watch than Tom Hanks in the tie-in (I said it.). There's just a gracefulness to him here; it's the most at home I've seen him in a role for The Asylum - including his repeat performance for the wars of worlds.


Lance Henriksen, as always, plays a really believable violent badass, but at the same time, he is not at all believable - not at all - as a guy who gives enough of a fuck about archaeology to get a degree in it. Not that it matters - all-told, Lance isn't in this one more than 10 or 12 minutes.


The lovely lady at C. Tom's side is played by Nicole Sherwin, an actress/TV host/green even expert, whatever the fuck that means. Basically she's eye-candy with an intellect, largely underdeveloped (as a character), and (on the contrary) shows a little too much cleavage for a theologian, I think, though not enough for a linguist, so, balance.

As for the script - co-written by Asylum bigwig Paul Bales (Moby Dick, Sherlock Holmes) and scribe Carlos De Los Rios (Pirates of Treasure Island, War of the Worlds, King of the Lost World) - it's nice and tight, riveting in spots, pulse-stirring in others, engaging in others still, dense ("compact," not "stupid") with information but worth negotiating; there are more twists and turns here than a pretzel showcase at the Pennsylvania State Fair.

Put all these elements together and the result is a thoroughly intriguing thriller that recalls not only The DaVinci Code but also National Treasure, and rests comfortably among the best of the straight films (not sexually, I mean films without a supernatural, sci-fi or ruthless manic slant to them) The Asylum has produced. There was a lot of stuff, largely speculative documentaries, that tied-in to The DaVinci Code, so it's not like The Asylum's treading on holy ground here (pun intended); I wasn't distracted by the similarities in the slightest. A good movie is a good movie, no matter where it comes from, and this is a good movie. 

Enjoy.

Post-Holiday Big News Catch-Up!

Man oh man, a lot has gone down over the last four or five days, too much to individually post it all, so I thought I'd run a catch-up of the more salient news items. Here we go:


First off, another Sarah Lieving interview hit the web on Thursday, this one coming from The Reflector in Greenville, North Carolina. Now, I'm a native-North Carolinian (now a west Coaster), and I know Greenville (home of the ECU Pirates) and I cannot for the life of me figure how they got this interview, but there it is, and pretty revealing, too. I especially like that in the web address for this is the phrase, "sci fi hottie." 

Ms. Lieving's been getting hella press this last month, and one can only hope this means she's on the verge of a mainstream breakthrough. Ms. Lieving's next chance at the spotlight comes with the release of Super Shark - that's right, another shark movie! - directed by MSvC-director Christopher Ray's father, Fred Olen Ray. Still waiting on a release date for that one.




Next, while the world is still reeling from the awesome creature feature that is Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, The Asylum and SyFy hit us with FOUR CLIPS (these courtesy of Geek Tyrant) from the upcoming Saturday Night Original Movie Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, starring, aside from the titular beasts, 80's mall-pop icons Tiffany and Debbie Gibson. Tiff looks hot and fiesty, and Debbie looks debonair and scrappy; should make for an awesome showdown.

The kid gloves come off Saturday, January 29th, at 9p.m on SyFy.





Then there were two announcements pertaining to Asylum films currently in production, specifically Princess and the Pony, the movie formerly known as 1st Furry Valentine, which finally got a trailer, and the upcoming Marvel-tie-in Almighty Thor, which revealed a slew of photos from the set, including all three principle actors - Cody Deal as Thor, Richard Freakin' Grieco as Loki and Kevin Nash as Odin - in costume. Though Thor's hammer seems - in these shots, at least - a little Bedrockian, Grieco looks awesome as a withered, deathly Loki. Almighty Thor drops on May 10th of next year.


Also, in last weeks Outside the Walls post in which I mentioned non-Asylum DVD releases for the month of December, I neglected to mention the release of a film that would most definitely be of interest to Asylum fans: Leigh Scott's Cyborg Conquest. Leigh Scott, as we all remember, directed eleven Asylum films - including King of the Lost World, The Beast of Bray Road, Transmorphers and 911 Commission Report - before striking out with his own production company. Cyborg Conquest is a kind of hybrid, narratively-speaking, of Death Proof and The Terminator, and is an intriguing, well-crafted and daringly-directed sci-fi/action flick with a dash of comedy and sex appeal. As is typical with any Leigh Scott film, there are a lot of familiar, often-used actors here, including Asylum veterans Eliza Swenson (Transmorphers, Dracula's Curse, Frankenstein Reborn), Kristen Quintrall (The Apocalypse, Universal Soliders)(who, of course, also edited this film), Dean Arevalo (The Hitchhiker, Freakshow) and uncredited cameos by Griff Furst (Transmorphers, director I Am Omega) and Rhett Giles (Legion of the Dead, The Apocalypse). All in all, Cyborg Conquest, aka Chrome Angels, is quite the exhilarating and entertaining romp. It's available on DVD now.




And finally, we can't forget perhaps the biggest news item of last week, the long-awaited announcement of the Nominees for the 1st Annual Looney Awards for Excellence in Asylum Films.Votes can be emailed to 2010Loonies@gmail.com  up until midnight PST on February 2nd, 2011. Close to 100 votes have already been counted, and there are a couple of interesting races already shaping up. Be sure to make your opinion heard and counted, and help us celebrate the great people who make The Asylum so gosh-darn entertaining. Vote once, but vote wise, and help get the word out!

and the nominees are: Announcing the 2010 Loonies!





The 2010 Looney Awards for Excellence in Asylum Films


If I could figure out how to get a sound file of a drum roll on here, this is where I'd put it, but I can't, so just imagine it...(drum roll)...COMMITTED is proud to announce the nominees for the 2010 Looney Awards, the first annual presentation for excellence in Asylum films.

That's right, I've come up with an awards presentation specific to Asylum productions; that's how much I love this stuff, and also how much disposable time I have, apparently. 

The deal is simple: below you will find nominees in eight categories from the twelve films released by The Asylum in the 2010 calendar year. All twelve films have been nominated for Best Feature, but from there the nominees dwindle, making the competitors truly the best of the best. The voting period will last for six weeks, giving you plenty of time to catch up on any films or performances you might have inadvertently missed, and will close on Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011, Groundhog Day. Winners will be announced right here two days later, on Friday the 4th, Marmot Day (I'm trying to get that one going). 

So email your votes to 2010Loonies@gmail.com and let your voice be heard, nay, counted! All these fine films are available on DVD for your screening purposes, and all can be acquired by a quick trip to The Asylum site. Vote once, but vote wise: winners will receive the undying admiration of we the committed, plus the worldwide esteem and jealous respect of their peers that comes with being a Looney-Award Winning Actor, Actress, Writer, Director, or Non-Human. Good luck to all of the nominees, and if any should want to lobby for themselves or on the behalf of a fellow nominee, feel free to shoot me an email and I'll gladly post it for the masses, unaltered.


So, drum roll on your laptops, folks, here are your 2010 Looney Award Nominees...



Best Feature 


Best Actor
Shane Van Dyke...Titanic II
Jaleel White...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Barry Bostwick...2010 Moby Dick
Paul Logan...Mega Piranha
Patrick Muldoon...The 7 Adventures of Sinbad
Barry Van Dyke...6 Guns
Ben Syder...Sherlock Holmes
Scott Valentine...Airline Disaster

   
Best Actress
Marie Westbrook...Titanic II
Sage Mears...6 Guns
Sarah Lieving...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Tiffany...Mega Piranha
Cooper Harris...Meteor Apocalypse
Meredith Baxter...Airline Disaster
Renee O'Connor...2010 Moby Dick
Erica Duke...#1 Cheerleader Camp

 

Best Supporting Actor
Gary Stretch...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Greg Evigan...6 Guns
Jude Gerard Prest...Mega Piranha
Gareth David-Lloyd...Sherlock Holmes
Geoff Meed...6 Guns
Bruce Davison...Titanic II

 

Best Supporting Actress
Lindsey McKeon...Airline Disaster
Charlene Tilton...#1 Cheerleader Camp
Kelly O'Leary...The 7 Adventures of Sinbad

Rachel Riley...8213 Gacy House
Brooke Burns...Titanic II
Claudia Christian...Meteor Apocalypse


Best Performance by a Non-Human
Mega Shark...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Crocosaurus...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Mega Piranha (collective)...Mega Piranha
Moby Dick...2010 Moby Dick
The Ghost of John Wayne Gacy...8213 Gacy House
Cyclops...The 7 Adventures of Sinbad
T-Rex...Sherlock Holmes
The Plane...Airline Disaster


Best Script
Geoff Meed...6 Guns
Naomi Selfman...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Shane Van Dyke...Titanic II
Paul Bales...Sherlock Holmes
Paul Bales...2010 Moby Dick
Victoria Dadi & Paul Sinor...Airline Disaster


Best Director
Christopher Ray...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Shane Van Dyke...Titanic II
Eric Forsberg...Mega Piranha
Shane Van Dyke...6 Guns
Rachel Lee Goldenberg...Sherlock Holmes
Trey Stokes...2010 Moby Dick
Anthony Fankhauser...8213 Gacy House


So there you have it. Obviously the big winners thus far are Mega Shark with 8 nominations and 6 Guns and Titanic II each garnering 7 nods. Individually, Shane Van Dyke is the man to beat, grabbing four noms for himself, 2 as a director, 1 for writing and 1 for acting. Also hitting for the cycle is The Asylum's Bo Jackson (determined to make that stick), Geoff Meed, who got a pair of nominations, 1 for writing and 1 for acting. The acting nod was tough because I wasn't sure for which role to give it - 6 Guns or Airline Disaster; he's great in both, but ultimately I went with the western, in which I thought he shone just a bit brighter. Screenwriter Paul Bales also nabs a pair of nominations within the same category, giving him a 33.3% shot at winning.

But how will it all play out? Who will walk away victorious? Who will walk away resolving to try even harder to win one next year? That's up to you, fair readers. Cast your ballot today and help us make history, help us present the 1st Annual Looney Awards for Excellence in Asylum Films!!!

Princess and the Pony Trailer Released!






The presents just keep coming from The Asylum this week. First we got the set pics from Almight Thor, then the DVD release of Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, now we get the trailer for The Asylum's first full-on family film, Princess and the Pony, formerly known as 1st Furry Valentine. The film looks to be positively charming, and strangely suitable for kids. Check it out for yourself right here.

Run For Your Life (to the video store) !!!!!



The glorious day has finally arrived! The film we've all been waiting for, the most-eagerly anticipated sequel of the year, Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, is now available nationwide on DVD!

I've already reviewed this beautiful beast of a film, and I'm sure scores of others will have done the same online by the end of the day. As I've had a few days to sit with the film, I find myself reminiscing fondly and looking forward to another viewing. And I could stare at the poster all day long like some geeked out teenage girl drooling over Justin Bieber. I was at the drugstore the other day and they had one of them Redbox contraptions hanging around outside. As I was getting into my car, a mother and her young son - maybe four years old - were standing there trying to make their selection. The mother asked her son which film, judging by the box art, he'd like to watch. The young lad held his tongue a pensive moment, his eyes flitting from cover to cover like a hummingbird collecting pollen, when at last they settled and widened with glee.

"This one!" the boy exclaimed, planting his grubby finger right smack on the MSvC art.

His mother, of course, shrieked and forbade it - the boy was four, or in the neighborhood, after all - and I think they ended up with Thomas the Train Engine or some other shit that will do the boy no good whatsoever in the real world. I gave him my card, told him to ask for permission before going online.

So that last sentence is bullshit - I don't have a card - but the rest is pure truth, and a fine illustration of how, just like the tobacco companies, the Asylum's winning fans far before they're old enough to enjoy the product.

But enough of my rambling. If you're still reading this, it means you're not on your way to a video store or Redbox or your mailbox for your copy of Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, which, if I haven't made myself clear, was released TODAY. So go, get, skedaddle!

outside the walls: Non-Asylum Inklings


In case all the copies of Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus are gone when you go to the video store, here's a brief list of other December DVD releases that might interest Asylum fans.

December 7









Harpoon: Whale Watching Massacre












Dark Metropolis









December 14 






Slave











Dear Mr. Gacy










December 21






The Horde











Stonehenge Apocalypse













Devil










December 28





The Haunting of Amelia












Resident Evil: Afterlife