observation notes: Death Racers

The Asylum takes on Jason Statham taking on Roger Corman in this film set in a typically nihilistic American future where crime and death are commerce, and virtue is for the pathetically weak.

Four, two-person teams of cons are racing and killing for their freedom, vying to be the last team standing. By now you're probably thinking, "Okay, well, that sounds interesting, I guess. I mean, it's been done, but this could be special, though he's not really selling it, he's not giving me a reason to see it. Maybe I'll scroll down a little, see if..." Let me stop you right there. You want a hook? You want a little something extra to wet your whistle, leave you thirsty for more of what Death Racers is pouring? Okay, all right, well how about you try this on for size:

One of the teams is made up of Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, the motherfucking Insane Clown Posse. Playing themselves.

Now I'm no Juggalo - I have very sensitive skin and a detectable IQ - but I do appreciate ridiculous assholes who somehow manage to burrow themselves into our culture like chiggers. And man are these guys ridiculous assholes! They got a tricked-out ice cream truck, a couple of hatchets and a cunning knack for linguistics that produces such memorable lines as, "When was that ever in a million-rim-job-years a good idea?" (as though "rim-job-years" are longer? shorter?) and, "That's what I said about your mama last night when I plowed her, except you might not recognize her: I shaved her back" (as though shaving the gentleman's mother's back is somehow a part of the seduction process, a kind of preening foreplay. genius)

The clowns are astoundingly capable within the violent context - gory even by Asylum standards - bringing a very believable psychosis to their roles as thrill-killing speed (the motion kind) freaks. As for the rest of the cast, there's some mohawked cyborgs, fake-ass cholos, an acting wrestler and an all-female team that goes by the name Vaginamyte. I'm going to put that out in the open so you can better absorb it.

Vaginamyte.

This one's got class written all over it. In shit. A delightful gangbang of a movie.