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observation notes: 18-Year-Old Virgin

Ah yes. The requisite female-centric sex comedy. From Coming Soon to Jennifer's Body, every so often a woman tries her hand at grossing out America with the amount of boudoir secrecy she's willing to reveal. And skin.

This film is the ultimate of these: a female lead with the fantasy life of Jonah Hill, the rack of a playmate, and the inhibitions of a crack whore.

18-Year-Old Virgin is based on the preposterous suggestion that an 18 year old girl with no physical deformities or obviously psychotic tendencies has to actively seek sex. Yet try as she might, our C-cup heroine can't quite find the right lover.

In reality, this girl puts her thumb out on the side of the road and two weeks later she's a porn star. (oh right, lead actress Olivia May is best known for her work on "Co-Ed Confidential," which is as close to porn as softcore gets)

Speaking of Olivia May, outside of parentheses, from the box art to the final credits it isn't she who stars so much as it is her tits, which are seen within the first three minutes and then often throughout. Which isn't a bad thing, as her tits are better actresses than she is.

I have to be honest here. I didn't watch all of this movie. For that reason alone feel free to scroll to the next entry. But I watch a lot of movies, more than any grown man in a healthy relationship should (my lady's the bomb), and I think there's something to it when even I won't finish a film. And I did not finish this film. Truthfully, I got 37 minutes in then turned it off. And I like boobs, a lot, but boobs alone do not a movie make, try as Olivia May's boobs might. I stated in an earlier review I have issues with the comedies of The Asylum, but I am not here to denigrate. For a very large percentage of the population this film will satisfy (more than it should). I'm just not the target audience.

That said, if you like far-fetched scenarios whose only real design is to include as many beautiful women, dick jokes and tits as possible, this is where the buck stops.

Unapologetic, raucous and scintillating.

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