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observation notes: Journey to the Center of the Earth

One of three adaptations of the Jules Verne classic to come out in the same 18-month period - the other two being the Brendan Fraser 3D event and the Ricky Schroeder non-event - The Asylum gives it their own special twist.

Okay, so, here we go: Greg Evigan is some kind of stargate scientist or something, and in the process of beaming an elite military unit composed entirely of hot chicks, somehow the calibrations go wrong and they end up in the center of the Earth, a lush, prehistoric landscape. So Evigan has to track down his ex-wife, the delightful DeeDee Pfeiffer, who just happens to be developing a miracle laser-digger. As if this string of coincidences wasn't enough, one of the members of the hot-chick military unit is DeeDee's sister (who in real life is Evigan's daughter!!)! Da-da-dummmmmm!

Fast-paced, exciting and endearing thanks laregly to the two leads. Greg Evigan hasn't aged a day or lost an ounce of charm since "My Two Dads," and DeeDee Pfeiffer, as usual, showcases the same comedic/dramatic skills that made Cameron Diaz a star, with a dash of frenetic obsessiveness that made Crispin Glover so creepy. How's that for a mash-up? Notable among the hot chicks are the aforementioned Evigan daughter, Vanessa Lee (other daughter Brianna is of Step Up 2, S. Darko and Sorority Row fame) and Caroline Attwood, the female reporter from Death Racers, who thankfully gets a lot more screen time here (she's kinda hot is why the "thankfully").

Two quotes best sum up this experience, which truthfully I enjoyed more than the big screen epic, and certainly more than the Ricky Schroeder shit-bomb:

"Wait a minute; why would a tyrannosaurus be here in the first place?"


"All right you bitch hag, let's do this...AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"

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