That's right, my faithfully-committed, this is the day we've been waiting for: after six weeks of anticipation and more than 500 votes, it's at long last time to announce the winners of the first ever Looney Awards for Excellence in Asylum Films. This first class of winners will go down in history and their names will echo across time just like Wings, Emil Jannings and Janet Gaynor. In addition to winning the accolades of their fans and the envy of their contemporaries, Looney winners receive, well, nothing physical, but those other things really are pretty cool. A reminder that the Loonies were voted for solely by Committed readers, and you have my word as a Southerner, a gentleman and an Asylum fanatic that the results have been in no way modified. So get your screen maximized, pump something with a little pomp and circumstance on your iTunes (i chose lil wayne's "right above it") and scroll down, winners await you!
Best Supporting Actress - Lindsey McKeon - Airline Disaster
Best Supporting Actor - Jude Gerard-Prest - Mega Piranha
Best Performance by a Non-Human - Mega Piranha (collective) - Mega Piranha
Best Script - Shane Van Dyke - Titanic II
Best Actress - Tiffany - Mega Piranha
Best Actor - Barry Bostwick - 2010: Moby Dick
Best Director - Eric Forsberg - Mega Piranha
drum roll please...
Best Feature - Mega Piranha
I can assure you that each of these races came down to single-digit differentials, and for the most part every nominee got at least a handful of votes. I think this illustrates just how satisfied we as Asylum fans were with last year's output: they were all so good, we truly had a hard time deciding which one we liked best. But the results speak for themselves, and the big winner this first year is Mega Piranha, walking away with an astounding five of eight Loonies, and a slightly more astounding five of six nominations.
Big shout out to all the winners, and indeed all the nominees; this was the biggest, most spectacular year in The Asylum's history, and it was the contributions of all the nominees - and scores of others that I heartlessly left unnominated - who helped make it happen. So really they're all winners, and the prize is getting to work for the best independent studio in Hollywood.
Thanks to everybody who voted, who commented, and who helped spread the word. Special thanks, as always, to The Asylum for letting me draft off their success, and if any of the winners would like to post an acceptance speech in the comments below, feel free! No cut-off music!