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Sounds Like An Asylum Film to Me

Been a while since I've done one of these posts, but my fellow faithfully-committed, loyal follower and a hell of an insightful guy in the realm of things B, Jeffrey Long, a.k.a. Slushie Man, shot me an email this morning with two stories that just can be passed up.

The first tidbit comes from ABC Action News and happened only yesterday. It involves a shark swimming the flooded streets of Puerto Rico in the wake of Hurricane Irene.

Interesting idea, real world. But is it as cool as a sinking atoll? And what if that shark there had two heads? Then you'd have a real movie. Oh wait...

Seriously, though, this is a rad little scenario (unless you were out for a walk) and a prime example of life imitating art. That's right, I said it and I'm sticking by it. Moving on!

This next bit is the one that really gives me the willies: in a housing tenement in Brooklyn, a dude pitchforked a giant rat the other day.

Now, I'm not particularly afraid of rats, but I am particularly afraid of any creature that's much larger than it's supposed to be. Look at that fucking thing; it's the size of a housecat. And the guy that caught it said there were at least two others he'd seen of comparable size. So then what I'm envisioning here is a gritty urban creature feature in which the usual woes of tenement living are augmented by an infestation of mutant rats - no doubt escaped from a nearby lab, or perhaps mutating in the sewers since Three Mile Island - that can chew through solid concrete, and bone. Picture it a nouveau Food of the Gods. I see Donald Faison, Michael K. Williams and Bobb'e J. Thompson as the male leads, Zoe Saldana and Taryn Manning are the ladies, Eric Roberts is the rich developer who unleashes the rats on the tenements and Andy Serkis is the rats.

If this last one happens, Slushie Man, you get co-producer credit. Thanks for the heads up!


  1. I'll take any credit you're willing to give :)

    lol, I was actually just on my way out the door this morning for work when I saw these two stories on Twitter and quickly shot off an e-mail to ya cause I knew you'd enjoy these.

  2. truthfully i have no credits to give, we'd have to make it ourselves. i'll get started on the giant rat models now. :)

  3. I'll get to interviewing the real-life people involved so we can stamp 'Based on a True Story' on the front! Even if we don't use any of their actual testimony! lol