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Asylum Should-Stars #5

Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles - spotlights on Asylum personnel - and I've done pitches - shameless attempts to get hired in marketing/development - but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum's stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?

Name: Willa Ford

Best Known For: "Dancing With The Stars," Friday the 13th (remake), various issues of Maxim

Plays: really bad, kinda trashy, tough, irresponsible, and all-around evil, fun girls, and sultry, manipulative vixens (re: Impulse)

Could Be Cast As: a gun-toting stripper in an apocalypse film, a femme fatale in an action flick, a hard-as-nails space marine in a sci-fi epic, or a titillating scream queen in a horror movie.

Name: Play (from Kid N Play)

Best Known For: a successful rap career, an awesome dance, and the House Party franchise.

Plays: himself, mostly - a jovial, fun-loving ladies man with a penchant for flat-tops and smooth raps.

Could Be Cast As: anyone, really. War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave featured Play's former partner Christopher "Kid" Reid, so anything he'd be suited for, I'd imagine Play would be as well. Not that they're interchangeable, but their skill levels seem to be comparable, is all I'm saying. Throw him in a sci-fi flick as a flustered local, or as a business tycoon in an action flick, or even a meaty cameo in a comedy. In that instance, just make sure he does the dance.

Name: The Iron Sheik

Best Known For: wrestling, and instilling in a generation of American men an undying hatred for Iran, and probably the Middle East in general.

Plays: a real asshole, for the most part, pompous and confident, boisterous and overdosing on braggadocio. 

Could Be Cast As: duh, a terrorist (also my Charlie Sheen impression), or, possibly, a serial killer, the rapey kind.

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