Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles - spotlights on Asylum personnel - and I've done pitches - shameless attempts to get hired in marketing/development - but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum's stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?
NAME(s): Gary Riley (L) and Dean Cameron (R)
BEST KNOWN FOR: playing the horror-film-infatuated comedic duo "Chainsaw and Dave" in the 1987 Carl Reiner classic, Summer School.
PLAYS: I think the above sentence pretty much clarifies that, but to simplify: lovable geeks smarter than they perform and borderline-autistic in their focus.
COULD BE CAST AS: a pair of roadside attraction/amusement park/sketchy traveling carnival owners, or a pair of oddly homo-erotic serial killers, or even a highly-successful filmmaking team, Dave the writer and Chainsaw the director. Horror, Comedy
NAME: Kristen Miller
BEST KNOWN FOR: playing "Princess Stevenson" on "That's My Bush!", "D.D." on "She Spies," and as the voice of "Lisa" in Team America: World Police.
PLAYS: ditsy/naive good girls on the surface with a hidden well of strength, independence and sass. Think of her as DeeDee Pfeiffer but a dozen years younger (not that age matters, it's just a reference point).
COULD BE CAST AS: any leading female role in any sort of film. Ms. Miller has proven herself a capable action heroine, an identifiably beleaguered victim in horror films, and a sharp, endearing comedic ace, as well as being cute to a point of ridiculous sexiness. The only thing it seems she hasn't done is a sci-fi/disaster flick; ball's in your court, Asylum. Comedy, Horror, Action, Disaster, Sci-Fi, Family
NAME: Kristine DeBell
BEST KNOWN FOR: being a Playboy centerfold, "Alice in Wonderland" adult entertainer, and the cutest chick in the funniest movie ever, Meatballs.
PLAYS: good girls gone really, really bad; star-eyed nymphets; girls-next-door that make you want to never leave home.
COULD BE CAST AS: should The Asylum ever throw its hat into the summer-camp-comedy ring (which I think they should), Ms. DeBell would be the perfect cameo, much like the use of Charlene Tilton in #1 Cheerleader Camp. Otherwise, I have a feeling Ms. DeBell would suit any comedy just fine. And, as she hasn't worked since 1990, she's nice and primed for a career resurrection.
There you have it. Thoughts? Disagreements? Suggestions?