Out of nowhere comes news of the next Asylum-Lifetime Movie, Adopting Terror, set to premiere Saturday, April 7th at 9p.m. on the cable network (with a DVD release set for September 11th), and man, is this one star-studded.
But first things first, the synopsis: "Tim and Cheryl Broadbent are excited to finally adopt Mona, a beautiful baby girl. But when the baby’s biological father starts stalking them, their world turns upside down: through intimidation, manipulation, and violence, he is determined to take his daughter back."
Sounds pretty perfect for a Lifetime movie. Now let's get to that cast: Tim and Cheryl are played by Sean Astin (ummm...Lord of the Rings, Goonies, duh!) and Samaire Armstrong (The O.C., Entourage, Dirty Sexy Money), and rounding out the ensemble are Monet Mazur (Austin Powers, Torque), Brendan Fehr (Roswell, The Forsaken) and the one and only Michael Gross (Family Ties, Tremors, 100 Million B.C.). If that ain't a powerhouse cast, I don't know what is.
Adopting Terror is written and directed by Micho Rutare, who previously wrote and directed Meteor Apocalypse and also wrote Dragonquest, the story for Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus and the upcoming Bigfoot. Co-writing credits on the script go to Nik Frank-Lehrer.
Check out the film's page on The Asylum site here, then dig the production stills over here. And once that whets your appetite, tune in to the Lifetime Network Saturday night, April 7th at 9p.m. when Adopting Terror makes its world television premiere.
In honor of the latest Asylum feature to enter post-production, writer/director Mark Atkins' Dragon Crusaders, I thought I'd dedicate a creature feature to the mythological(?) beast at the center of that and three other Asylum films, as well: Dragon, Dragonquest, and Merlin and the War of Dragons, the latter two of which were also directed by Mr. Atkins. The former was written and directed by Leigh Scott (Invasion of the Pod People, The Hitchhiker, The 9/11 Commission Report, The Beast of Bray Road).
Dragons are among the oldest legendary creatures in the world, factoring into the mythology of nearly every significant early culture. Traditionally, there are two breeds of dragon: the European variety, distinctly reptilian, and the Chinese variety, whiskered and with a dash of canine to its serpentine form.
All dragons featured in Asylum films are of the European distinction. Furthermore, while dragons can be winged or flightless, all Asylum dragons totally fly. And hell yes they breathe fire. What's the point, otherwise?
In Dragon, the titular beast is a singular, daunting trial in a chain of daunting trials our Medieval heroes must survive in order to escape a haunted forest and save the kingdom from an advancing horde of dark elves. In Dragonquest, there are 2 dragons, one evil, summoned by a warlord, and one good, awakened by a young man undergoing a series of perilous quests. In Merlin and the War of Dragons, young Merlin comes of age trying to thwart the tyrannical plans of an evil wizard and his army of flying dragons, And though the exact details aren't known yet, in Dragon Crusaders the beast will manifest as a "wizard-dragon," which I pray to god involves a dragon with a wand.
So as you can see, whether alone, in pairs or traveling in flocks(?), The Asylum has taken a decidedly "violent dragon" standpoint. And rightfully so. Nothing good can come of bat-winged, fire-breathing, dino-sized lizards known to cavort with evil wizards and warlords.
However, that said, if The Asylum's ever looking to do another Princess and the Pony-esque family film, my vote would be for a story about a friendly dragon - Poof, maybe, or Greg - and the ragtag group of preteen misfits who find and end up protecting him from nasty grown-up types; think Monster Squad meets Mac and Me, with dragons, natch. But don't worry, I'd keep the fire.
Another in the Faith Films line, this apocalyptic disaster epic concerns a meteor of truly ginormous proportions headed right for Earth. Though we try to annihilate the problem by throwing all our nukes at it, this predictably only makes things worse, turning what was one massive meteor into thousands of splintered shards that rain down upon cities worldwide, beginning a wave of destruction that can only be described as "Biblical." When our hero's ("Dr. Quinn's" Joe Lando) family is herded away to quarantine by government agents, thus begins his quest within the chaos to find them. He is joined along the way by a beautiful and headstrong accomplice (the lovely and talented and Looney-nominated, here, Cooper Harris).
One thing I liked about this film right off the bat was where it began; what's typically act 3 for most meteor films - our last-ditch effort to destroy/deflect the meteor - was the launching point for this one. What follows is the real drama, how we deal with inescapable chaos. And in truth, this new situation is worse: a single, giant meteor would have wiped out all life on the planet, no questions asked; but now, like this, the planet will survive, civilizations will be decimated, yes, but life will go on for a good percentage of the population. The game then becomes to make it into that percentage, which is a far more unsettling premise than everyone being resigned to the same fate. All this is just to say Meteor Apocalypse opens tense and never lets up. It's a relentless drama and a thrilling tale of survival, determination and faith.
Joe Lando as the scientist/concerned father is a believably-gruff skeptic in the beginning, making his transformation to capable coper over the course of the film that much more hard-won and convincing. Third-billed Cooper Harris is the clear standout here: likable, relatable, and the most palpable of the characters. You feel her distress, her resolve. There's a natural ease to her performance which endears her to the audience. That, and her hotness. Audiences like hot ladies (picture a super hot, much younger Tina Fey).
Claudia Christian "Babylon 5" also stars as Lando's wife, and plays the role as a cold nag. She's not around all that much, but when she is, she works.
Overall, I found Meteor Apocalypse - written by Brian Brinkman & Micho Rutare, and directed by Rutare (writer of Dragonquest and Asylum Director of Development) - a smart film in that it's not just a straight-up astronomical disaster movie - though as one it's highly successful; the FX are awesome at depicting widespread heavenly chaos and metropolitan destruction - there's a medical-thriller aspect to this one as well, another sort of inevitable and randomly-selective killer that just throws another level of tension on the pile.
And as I've found with other entries to the Faith Films line - Countdown: Jerusalem, 2012 Doomsday, The Apocalypse - the message might be Christian, but it isn't overwhelmingly so; you want to watch this as a secular action film, you won't be distracted by theology. Think of it as a nice midway point, philosophically, between Left Behind and Armageddon.
A good time, all around, and very much so recommended.
