observation notes: Meteor Apocalypse

Another in the Faith Films line, this apocalyptic disaster epic concerns a meteor of truly ginormous proportions headed right for Earth. Though we try to annihilate the problem by throwing all our nukes at it, this predictably only makes things worse, turning what was one massive meteor into thousands of splintered shards that rain down upon cities worldwide, beginning a wave of destruction that can only be described as "Biblical." When our hero's ("Dr. Quinn's" Joe Lando) family is herded away to quarantine by government agents, thus begins his quest within the chaos to find them. He is joined along the way by a beautiful and headstrong accomplice (the lovely and talented and Looney-nominated, here, Cooper Harris).

One thing I liked about this film right off the bat was where it began; what's typically act 3 for most meteor films - our last-ditch effort to destroy/deflect the meteor - was the launching point for this one. What follows is the real drama, how we deal with inescapable chaos. And in truth, this new situation is worse: a single, giant meteor would have wiped out all life on the planet, no questions asked; but now, like this, the planet will survive, civilizations will be decimated, yes, but life will go on for a good percentage of the population. The game then becomes to make it into that percentage, which is a far more unsettling premise than everyone being resigned to the same fate. All this is just to say Meteor Apocalypse opens tense and never lets up. It's a relentless drama and a thrilling tale of survival, determination and faith.

Joe Lando as the scientist/concerned father is a believably-gruff skeptic in the beginning, making his transformation to capable coper over the course of the film that much more hard-won and convincing. Third-billed Cooper Harris is the clear standout here: likable, relatable, and the most palpable of the characters. You feel her distress, her resolve. There's a natural ease to her performance which endears her to the audience. That, and her hotness. Audiences like hot ladies (picture a super hot, much younger Tina Fey).

Claudia Christian "Babylon 5" also stars as Lando's wife, and plays the role as a cold nag. She's not around all that much, but when she is, she works.

Overall, I found Meteor Apocalypse - written by Brian Brinkman & Micho Rutare, and directed by Rutare (writer of Dragonquest and Asylum Director of Development) - a smart film in that it's not just a straight-up astronomical disaster movie - though as one it's highly successful; the FX are awesome at depicting widespread heavenly chaos and metropolitan destruction - there's a medical-thriller aspect to this one as well, another sort of inevitable and randomly-selective killer that just throws another level of tension on the pile.

And as I've found with other entries to the Faith Films line - Countdown: Jerusalem, 2012 Doomsday, The Apocalypse - the message might be Christian, but it isn't overwhelmingly so; you want to watch this as a secular action film, you won't be distracted by theology. Think of it as a nice midway point, philosophically, between Left Behind and Armageddon.

A good time, all around, and very much so recommended.

observation notes: 2012 Doomsday

The Asylum has done a few apocalypse films at this point; they've even done a couple of films with 2012 in the title. But this particular film, distributed by The Asylum's Christian off-shoot Faith Films ("wait..." you're thinking, "Christian off-shoot? WTF?" Marketplace people, you've got to know the marketplace, and currently it's filled with 250,000,000 Christians, so...), so you know in addition to action, intrigue and chaotic destruction, you're also going to be getting a healthy dose of sermonizin'. I mean, for Chr- for Pete's sake, the marker on the title menu is a cross. No veils here, people, just sayin'.

Anywho, this film's another take on the popular Mayan prophecy that ends with, well, the world ending, kind of like Roland Emmerich's 2012, but released two years prior, so this one isn't exactly a tie-in as much as it is a stand-alone, action-packed, fanatic and fundamentalist sci-fi epic. The film opens in Mexico, naturally, with only "36 hours before Doomsday," as text reveals. Foreshadowing. There, volcanic eruptions are freaking out American seismologists (including Dale Midkiff and Caroline Amiguet) who can't figure why the Earth is being torn apart. The answer, pieced together by them and us, has something to do with a crucifix found buried in a Mayan temple. Jump to a team of scientists back in the states (lead by Cliff De Young) who puts this conundrum into words by hypothesizing the destruction is being caused by the slowing rotation of the planet due to an alignment with a black hole at the center of our galaxy (that's verbatim, so if it doesn't make sense, don't shoot the messenger), the bottom line being: how the fuck do you stop that?

This premise laid out, the various characters and storylines begin to settle into place: the team of scientists, the seismologists, a dashing photojournalist and a missionary (who happens to be Cliff De Young's character's daughter, played by the always delightful Danae Nason), and a precognitive holy image scribbler/EMT and her very zealous mother. Together this cast forms the five points of a star at the center of this film's universe, their connections slowly coming to light (sorry, all the religious rhetoric has me feeling a little elegiac).

Anyway, the scientists learn that whatever's happening, it will continue to happen until, well, until shit's just gone. Along the path to utter destruction, we're presented with all angles of human perspective on religion: the fervent, the logical, the skeptical, the outright disbelieving, et cetera. As such, there's a lot of talking for a supposed action film, and it's all pretty pointed. If you're one of those sorts who can't hear any religious conversation without getting worked up one way or the other, maybe skip this; but if you can (not) believe and let (not) believe, it's a pretty entertaining film, especially as it's not as fatalistic as Emmerich's 2012, where shit's going down no matter what - there's a chance to save the world here, somewhat literal, this savior, but it can cosmically cease the planetary destruction, taking a little of the edge off.

The above-mentioned perspectives are played out through the various characters' various and interwoven stories, much like Deep Impact or Independence Day, and as each progresses, attitudes are validated or changed by the global, unimaginable destruction, mounting towards a blissfully uplifting and faith-affirming ending.

2012 Doomsday was written and directed by Nick Everhart, and shot by the ever-present Mark Atkins. Stars De Young and Midkiff (both from something called the "Love" series, a few TV movies starring Katherine Heigl before we had to like her) are "stars" here the way Bruce Davison and Brooke Burns are "stars" of Titanic II: they're names, so they get the billing, when it's really the smaller names, the lesser-knowns, who carry the film. Notable among these lesser-knowns (only to some - the "lesser-known" part, not the "notable" part) is, as mentioned, Ms. Nason as the missionary, who in a reversal from the slutty office-mate she played in Pod People proves just how good an actress she is, such range, and Ami Dolenz (She's Out of Control, Ticks, Monkee Mickey Dolenz' loins), who it was nice to see again. I think the last time I saw her she was in some Witchboard shit. She's aged really well, still cute as a button, which makes her hardships that much more empathetic even though the drama is kind of out of her reach. Who cares, right? Cute blond girls do no wrong. Truthfully, however, things might have worked better with Ms. Dolenz as the wide-eyed missionary and Ms. Nason as the hardened, atheistic EMT. And Caroline Amiguet, she just looks like a French Kristin Wiig.

Overall, the FX were okay, reminiscent - loosely - of the other 2012. The script is a little heavy-handed from a secular point of view, but the secular point of view isn't the intended perspective at all. Maybe too many characters and stories for an 85 minute film, as not all were as fleshed out as I would have liked, but this one's all about the message, not the messengers. Neat but not great, I'd say, acknowledging, again, that I'm not at all the intended audience. From what I've seen of other such films, however, this one's above par. Bottom line, if you ain't in the fold, bring a big ole grain of salt with you to this one; either way, you'll be entertained, and isn't that the point?