observation notes: I Am Omega

Just so you know where all this is going, I'm going to be bold and open these observation notes with the declaration that I Am Omega is one of the greatest productions The Asylum has ever pulled off, and remember, that's coming from a guy who loves all these films, good or bad, but this one, this one enters a pantheon reserved for a precious few like Monster and The Beast of Bray Road. This is an especial accomplishment when you remember that I Am Omega isn't just a tie-in to the Will Smith flick I Am Legend, but also to two other incarnations of this story: The Last Man on Earth (1964) with Vincent Price and The Omega Man (1971) with Charlton Heston; all films are based on the novella by Richard Matheson, and the Smith version is the only one to retain the original name. But aside from that, the story here is basically the same as the others, with a few notable exceptions: the life and trials of the supposed last man on Earth (Mark Dacascos, Double Dragon and TV-Crow) in the apocalyptic wake of some pandemic virus fuck-all that turned most of society into ravenous mutant/vampire/zombie predators. As such, for the first half hour or so, the film focuses on MD's day-to-day survival routine, scrounging for supplies and, on this day at least, planting hella explosives around a natural gas pipeline. Two major differences from the other films emerge at this point: one, MD isn't scrounging off a major metropolitan area, so there are no luxuries - no fast cars, no ripe grocery stores or department stores, none of that, calling for a more hand-to-mouth existence set among a rural, desert landscape that helps raise the level of peril; and two, MD isn't an M.D. like the protagonists of other versions, he isn't conveniently the only guy ever who could figure out a cure for all this, he's just an average guy with exceptional fighting skills in a truly shitty situation, mentally fragile, on the verge of some deeper insanity, and so lost in his isolation that when all of a sudden he receives a video message from another survivor, instead of rejoicing, he flips the fuck out and shuts off the power. MD is a man with no hope of finding a way out of this hell, so he just plain has no hope.

Finally, though, he answers the video message and it's - lucky lucky - a hot single chick (Jennifer Lee Wiggins) trapped downtown in need of rescue. She says she's on her way to Antioch, a utopic survivors' compound nearby, and if MD comes for her, he can go with her to salvation. So as it turns out, MD isn't the last man on Earth at all, he's just the last recluse. Long story short, he turns her down, reps from Antioch come looking for him anyway, saying the girl carries the anti-virus in her blood so they gotta get her out, but they also know about the explosives and what MD's planning on blowing up: the whole fucking city. So they need him to use his sewer-layout knowledge to get them to the girl and out again before the city blows. Still MD isn't feeling the whole rescue mission, but in the end, they don't really give him a choice. At all.

So into the sewers they go, and from here on in it's mostly spoilers so I'll cease with the plot reveal but to say the set-up more than delivers, and the action continues to mount all the way to a spectacular ending, the culmination of races against time, explosives, zombies, fraudulent heroes, hope and salvation.

Overall, this feels more like a straight-up remake of The Last Man on Earth than it does a tie-in to I Am Legend. Another key difference - and the one, I believe, that makes this film so exceptional - is its subtle but thorough exploration of the psychosis factor involved, that is, the mental effects of being, well, Omega, the last person on Earth (if only in your mind). MD is not some flawless, wise-cracking action hero here, he is a very disturbed man fighting for his life every waking second, dealing with terror, grief, confusion and rage non-stop. The toll of this would be almost unbearable, and MD does an exceptional job portraying a man in such dire straits. In addition to his superb martial arts skills - employed here in a way that wasn't too obvious or distracting from the story - Dacascos brings an emotional intensity that results in a truly stirring performance, the best of his career for its equal parts power and passion, strength and extreme vulnerability.

His co-star Jennifer Lee Wiggins, a six-time Asylum vet (Shapeshifter, King of the Lost World, Dracula's Curse, Pirates..., and The 9/11 Commission Report) somehow manages to bring a playful sexiness to a distressed role, humanizing the character and making her more empathetic than perhaps she's written. But the highlight of this film, trivia-wise, for me, comes in the form of Geoff Meed, who plays Vincent, the brutish, mohawked Antioch rep, your typical over-trained thug. Not only has Meed performed in five Asylum films - including Airline Disaster and 100 Million B.C. - he's also written three: Universal Soldiers, 6 Guns and I Am Omega. I'm gonna call him the Bo Jackson of The Asylum from now on. You heard it here first.

I Am Omega was directed by Griff Furst, who's done some work with The Asylum before (he directed Universal Soldiers and 100 Million B.C. and had acting roles in Transmorphers and The Hitchhiker), but has also done some work outside the walls that have found mention in these virtual pages (Lake Placid 3, upcoming Swamp Shark). He's the captain at the helm of this film, an intense, scary thriller that stands on it's own feet and that grabbed me from the first scene and never let go. If you've never seen an Asylum film, make this one of the first three you watch.

observation notes: The Beast of Bray Road

With all the cinematic attention vampires and zombies have gotten over the years, I've always been surprised that werewolves has never sparked the public interest. Sure, there are notables out there like Silver Bullet, Ginger Snaps, Dog Soldiers (you do not want to start a conversation with me about a certain Benicio Del Toro...project.), but contemplate this for a moment: before the Mormon-abstinence-telenovela that is Twilight burst onto the scene, the werewolf movie that most often came to mind for your average American under the age of 40 was Teen Wolf. Now I like Teen Wolf, a lot, I own the double-feature DVD with Teen Wolf Too, I even have a t-shirt like Stiles' that says "What Are You Looking at Dicknose," though truthfully that's more of an Always Sunny thing at this point, but I digress; the point is, there aren't a lot of great werewolf movies out there, and what there are are always low-budget. Hollywood should wake up, make a good old-fashioned werewolf pic, without setting it in a good old-fashioned era. Or making the werewolf some dreamy teenage boy. Or making the werewolves somehow subservient to vampires. Or painting them as pack animals. They are not. And they are not glamorous either, nor well-trained or pleased with their condition. Lycanthropy isn't a privilege, it's a curse. America's youth would do well to remember that.

Anyway, none of this has anything to do with The Beast of Bray Road, except that said film is indeed about a werewolf, a reportedly true one at that. Set in rural Wisconsin, the film starts as all good horror films should: with a pretty girl in a stalled car on a lonely stretch of road in the middle of the night. The requisite forest chase by a partially-seen snarling beast ensues. Screams, ripping flesh, and there's your beast - a cross between a werewolf, a bear and a critter - plus only half of the pretty lady. Bitchin' opening.

Well, this death sends a ripple of panic through the small town the lady hailed from, a bucolic hollow full of eccentric characters like tourism-hungry deputies, scandal-seeking budding bloggers, wanton floozies and all their customary small-town bullshit - remarkably like the setting and resulting feel of True Blood. I honestly caught a lot of similarities, despite this film being nearly six years old - all as seen through the eyes of a local sheriff (Jeff Denton), the standard-issue relocated big city cop with some brooding secrets.

Suspects are investigated but nothing pans out, and meanwhile the bodies keep coming, along with sightings from disreputable sources, leading the townsfolk to rather quickly and without much debate decide it must be the Beast of Bray Road. The scene where the legend was explained was my one problem with the script. I really don't like obvious exposition, and that's all this was. But it was mercifully brief, and truthfully the only (minor) flaw in what I thought was an otherwise great script. The other thing I had a problem with last night - the fact that the other law enforcement officers were actively and intentionally dropping the word "werewolf" to the press in order to drum up tourism - this morning I woke up really liking, I don't know why, it just strikes me the day after as pretty funny, and a believable adjustment to the crooked-cop scenario.

Anyway, from here it's basically cat and mouse: the beast kills, the cops get closer, and so on and so on until there's the final confrontation. As I'd like to keep this a relatively spoiler-free site - the point is to get you to watch the movies, after all - I'll just say that I thought I knew how it was ending, and when I figured out I was wrong, they dropped it on me before I could re-figure, another compliment to an excellent script.

So speaking of the script, it was written by the fantastic Leigh Scott, who also edited and directed the film. I've mentioned Mr. Scott here before, he's worked quite often with The Asylum (Frankenstein Reborn, The Hitchhiker, Transmorphers), and his newest film, The Witches of Oz, got a mention in this blog's first Outside the Walls entry. This was by far my favorite of his films to date. The script, as mentioned a few times, was excellent: it built suspense well, even with a full-reveal of the creature in the first five minutes, it scared you, made you laugh, and the characters - even the minor characters - felt fully fleshed out and were inhabited by capable actors at every turn. Denton (King of the Lost World, The 9/11 Commission Report) comes across as the beefy, jowly lovechild of Zack Braff and Dax Shepard and plays the role with the same sort of dry humor as those idiots, only more subtle, not out for amusement as much as he is diffusement, which isn't a word, but I think you get the gist. Other standouts include Sarah Lieving (the documentarian from Monster and E. Roby's oversexed sister in Pod People) as the sultry bartendress and love interest of Denton's Sheriff; Thomas Downey (Shapeshifter, Ballistica) as the Indiana-Jones-esque cryptozoologist; and Andy Lauer, best-known as "Charlie" on "Caroline in the City," as an abusive asshole.

Bottom line, this film was a lot of fun and a good scare, the result of an outstanding script and charged performances, and, of course, the sharp eye of Leigh Scott. It's my kind of werewolf movie.

This review is dedicated to the great state of Wisconsin.

these notes originally posted 9/25/2011

observation notes: Countdown:Jerusalem(Armageddon)

Don't let the headline confuse you: most often this film goes by its proper name, Countdown: Jerusalem, although on occasion, especially when a part of a multi-pack DVD, it can be found as Countdown: Armageddon. The name change is the only difference between the two. 

Another in the Faith Films line, this one opens with a montage of news footage beginning with the creation of the State of Israel in the late 1940's, and progressing from there forward through the decades, tracing natural, climatological, economical and social disasters right up until the present day, our modern era, when, as a stunning miracle to oppose all the horror we've just seen unfold, that ever-elusive Peace in the Middle East has just been declared. As though commentary on the improbability of this pax, instantly there begins from every corner of the globe earthquakes, tornadoes, explosions, mass destruction and carnage. Caught in the middle of this inexplicable, cataclysmic turmoil is TV reporter Allison (Kim Little). When her young daughter Mary (Ms. Little's real-life daughter Audrey Latt) disappears from a single-entrance bathroom following a sonic boom of sorts, escalating catastrophes worldwide lead her to Israel and the discovery of an apocryphal conspiracy set to eradicate all of humankind, a.k.a. the end of days.

Kim Little as the lead - arguably her biggest role since Killers 2, and certainly since Supercroc - plays her as highly-motivated, equal parts workaholic divorcee and devoted mother, driven and concerned; the result is the portrait of a skilled professional with an emotional impetus to get to the truth. Ms. Little here reminds us why she's the original Queen B and the First Lady of The Asylum: she's emotionally versatile, intelligently formidable, erudite and utterly relatable. 

Another notable in the cast is Clint Browning (Street Racer, The Terminators, Mega Piranha), who plays a sort of holy warrior; that is, a man with a fighter's disposition but a faithful soul. As a guardian figure of sorts to Ms. Little's character, he's an almost-angelic figure. I half expected him to sprout wings at a point, so effective was Mr. Browning's portrayal, an effective juggling of soft-spokenness and unflinching capability. Also handing in a convincing performance is Russell Reynolds (Dragonquest, The Terminators) as the head of an Israeli underground sort-of spiritual brigade, more military than CB, a nice balance in the spectrum of fervency to the other actor's position of thoughtful warrior.

Overall, I found this to be an intense, interesting film, part political thriller, part religious disaster flick woven into a winding plot with twists both secular and holy, creative an effective adventure rife with a multitude of massive FX courtesy of Tiny Juggernaut that include seas turning to blood, a slew of natural disasters, helicopters, crumbling buildings, mass panic and all sorts of other goodies. The tornadoes were especially impressive.

C:J(A) was directed by A.F. Silver, whose only other credit comes as the cinematographer of Sherlock Holmes (which leads me to believe it could be a nom de plume), and written by Jose Prendes (Haunting of Winchester House) from a story by David Michael Latt. The former gentleman's use of light and exquisite framing really elevates this above your run-of-the-mill direct-to-DVD actioners, while the latter gentleman's delicate handling of the script manages to turn in a religious film whose message, while apparent, isn't too heavy-handed, and in fact comes across no different from any other hero's personal philosophy in any other action film - e.g. Bruce Willis' die-hard devotion to a wife he isn't with anymore, Spiderman's great power/great responsibility spiel - only with, you know, 2,000 years of context backing it up. Make no mistakes, whatever the title, this is definitely a religious film; its enjoyability, however, is not exclusive to religious viewers.  

Countdown: Whichever You Call It is built upon a layered story expertly brought to life by a competent and impassioned cast and all overseen by a sharp direction that ties it all together. Definitely worth a watch.

observation notes: Jolly Roger - Massacre at Cutter's Cove

Arrgh is right.

This fright of a film begins when a group of typically-hornball, beer-guzzling young folk goes coast-camping right after a hurricane. Amidst their nocturnal romps, a weathered treasure chest is discovered washed ashore by the storm, but when it is opened, it's not a treasure they discover inside, rather quite the opposite: the cursed spirit of a demonic pirate with a not-so demonic name - Jolly Roger. Jolly manages to slaughter the majority of the young folk, but the sole survivors, bad-boy Alex and good-girl Jessie (Tom Nagel and Kristina Korn, respectively), try to warn local law enforcement (Kim Little and Tom Downey) of this soggy, supernatural threat, but, of course, no one believes a bunch of kids, so the pirate goes about his mission of bloody vengeance as our teen heroes attempt to unravel the mystery around what exactly conjured Jolly Roger, what exactly he wants, and how exactly to send his damned soul back to Hell.

And oh, that we could go with him.

No, now, it's not that bad, really. It's bad, for sure, but not worth eternal damnation just to avoid. The performances, for the most part, are strong. The two standouts in the cast are two of the most-regulars, Tom Nagel (Beast of Bray Road, Pirates of Treasure Island, The Apocalypse, Hillside Cannibals, Dracula's Curse) as young, troubled Alex and Kim Little (Killers, Killers 2, Supercroc, War of the Worlds, War of the Worlds 2, Countdown: Jerusalem) as Lowenstein, the female officer in town. Nagel comes across a lot like James Marshall's "James" from "Twin Peaks:" the good guy with a tough past that resulted in an infraction of the law that wasn't totally his fault but now has him pegged as a no-good troublemaker despite his sensitive, kind and well-meaning center. Nagel crafts a hardened and world-wise if not world-weary young man well worth rooting for. And as far as Ms. Little is concerned, still in her ginger phase here, she assumes a sort of Scully-esque demeanor, both physically - in her oversized, androgynous, non-fitted suits - and emotionally - she projects a superficially cold and professionally distant demeanor that masks a soft core, a real, trusting, emotional center, and it is this center that elevates Ms. Little's supporting performance above mere supporting recognition. 

The rest of the cast, they do all right: Kristina Korn does an amazing job, but only if she's supposed to be playing the role as a self-centered, obstinately-naive, over-educated bitch; if not...She comes in late on most of her cues, and her overall emotional state seems to be one of weepy inconvenience rather than actual, unbridled fear for her life. Despite all this, however, she is a good pairing with Nagel's over-compensating milquetoast Alex. Tom Downey (a 13-film Asylum vet, including Beast of Bray Road, King of the Lost World and upcoming Ballistica) as Mathis is a great addition to the cast, but he's woefully underused in this one-dimensional character. Nice use of regular faces in bit parts though, including Griff Furst as a warehouse landlord, Leigh Scott as a strip club owner, and, in a spot that nearly steals the show, Amanda Barton as a rockin' secretary. And then there's Rhett Giles, the great Rhett Giles, hero of so many Asylum films, a great actor and a charming fellow by all accounts - but even someone as talented as Rhett Giles could not make the character of Jolly Roger anything more than a bad joke.


I blame this on FX and script, honestly. Mr. Giles does his best - but for the accent, I'm not letting him escape that one - but the conceit of the pirate is just so incredibly cheesy, from his outfit to the crud all over his face to his dialog to the situations in which he finds himself, that there was never much of a chance audiences would take him seriously. I mean, it says something, to me at least, that every character in the film who comes in contact with Jolly, their first impulse is to think he's some douchebag in a costume (though I do have to give one bit of positive feedback at this juncture: I loved how old Jolly just walked around seeking his vengeance in his waterlogged pantaloons in broad daylight, often in public places, without giving the slightest hint of a fuck. That's some swashbuckling badass-ness right there.). And it's this failure to convince that kinda brings down the whole film. I mean, the concept is pretty neat, a little Scooby-Doo, but still ripe with potential. However, the screenwriter's attempts to realize this potential are at best half-cocked and at worst, laughable. Jolly ends up in a strip club, for fuck's sake, and not ironically; he's just there, killing strippers. Every time the pirate was off-screen, I thought this had the makings of an inventive, intense horror film. Every time the pirate was on-screen, he just ruined it, and no matter how great an actor was behind the crud, the crud was all that showed.


Every spectrum needs its parameters, two opposite ends by which everything in-between is defined, evaluated. If then, one end of the spectrum of Asylum films are my personal favorites like I Am Omega, Mega Python vs Gatoroid, Beast Of Bray Road and 2010 Moby Dick, then waaaaaaaay down at the other end of the spectrum there's a dark, dank, quiet and depressing hole in which I mentally filed Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove.


And I'll say it again, because despite it's own inherit cheesiness, it bears repeating: arrrrrrrgh.

Observation Notes Catch-Up: EVERYTHING

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

observation notes: Dead Men Walking

This zombie thriller actually brings a fresh concept to the table, not something easy to do in a genre as well-mined as this one: after his roommates accidentally ingest a biotoxin from the lab where he works, a young lad named Travis (Brandon Stacy), in an effort to keep the virus from spreading, takes them out with a shotgun. The cops, understandably, think he's a homicidal maniac and incarcerate his ass. Only problem is, Trav caught the infection before they locked him up, meaning when the disease manifests itself, it has a nice, well-populated and contained environment in which to spread. Pretty soon, zombie prisoners outnumber regular prisoners and the only hope for survival is escape, a tall order in the best of circumstances. 

Like I said, the concept - from screenwriter Mike Watt (not the acclaimed singer, the acclaimed horror journalist) - is fresh and intriguing, a careful blend of a prison flick, a zombie movie, and a medical thriller; however, it's a concept that isn't always supported by the dialog, which fluctuates between heavy-handed, awkward and wooden. The story flows well-enough, but it is definitely hung up in spots by shoddy verbal execution. To its credit, though, for the latter of these genres, a medical thriller, it is very methodically researched and believably implemented. Truthfully, while 28 Days Later is a far, far superior film, I liked the breakout explanation (epidemic breakout, not prison breakout) in Dead Men Walking much more.

As for performances, the above-mentioned Brandon Stacy (two episodes of "Joey"), who could pass for Zachary Quinto if he needed to (here, then here), makes the most of his brief time onscreen, which, though it doesn't amount to much more than acting crazy and sick, Mr. Stacy does so with admirable aplomb; his final transformation into full-blown zombiehood is truly painful to perceive. I mean that as a compliment.

The lead prisoner in this film is our old-favorite Griff Furst (Transmorphers, The Hitchhiker, 9/11 Commission Report), a frequently-incarcerated, almost as frequently self-liberated criminal with a steel intellect, brass balls and a heart of gold. Furst plays the role with his typical roguish amiability, a violent scalawag with a penchant for adventure that has occasion to blur the line between legal and illegal. In other words: the bad boy just good enough to wriggle into your sympathies. Mr. Furst billed himself here as "Brick Firestone," which is a spot-on porn name if ever I heard one.

Rounding out the cast is the lovely Bay Bruner (this and Bachelor Party Massacre, in which she's billed as - spoiler alert - "The Killer"), playing a CDC scientist who's at the prison running tests on the infected prisoners when the whole place goes zombie-lockdown. Ms. Bruner comes across as a less-bite-more-bark Kristen Quintrall, and plays the role as your standard pretty-authoritarian-with-something-to-prove-as-demonstrated-through-sass-and-frigidity. Despite this common approach, there's definitely a spark to Ms. Bruner that makes her performance far from rote; she conveys an inherit vulnerability, an - even if subconscious - awareness of her fish-out-of-water status that wafts mild empathy in her direction.

Dead Men Walking was directed by Peter Mervis (Snakes on a Train, When a Killer Calls, The DaVinci Treasure), who turns in a taut thriller that moves well-enough along, though hindered in spots by the aforementioned dialog. Mr. Mervis' use of lighting, framing and sound make the prison setting a true cavernous hell, a boundless cell that allows the story to fill it. The action scenes - that is, the kill scenes - while a glorious melee of ferocity and gore, felt a bit too frazzled and unfocused for my taste, like watching a room full of epileptics all seizing at once; too much chaos for focus, which, for all I know, was the very intention of Mr. Mervis. 

Overall, I'm sort of in the middle of this one: it certainly wasn't the best Asylum film I've seen, but it was far from the worst, yet while the concept and story were intriguing, the execution, both in script and supporting performances, made me too aware this was direct-to-DVD, something I never mind, but shouldn't be reminded of. With the right performances and a better script, this concept could have opened to 15 million any October. As is, it's a passable example in a genre too-often visited. Ultimately, though, when they divide zombie movies into watchable and not, Dead Men Walking should find itself safely, though not that safely, on the winning side.

observation notes: Dragon

Boasting to be part one of an epic trilogy, Dragon – like one of the films it would seem to tie-in to, Eragon – failed to produce a second or third part. Whether this was the result of unrealized ambition by notedly-ambitious writer/director Leigh Scott (The Beast of Bray Road, 9/11 Commission Report), or perhaps a tongue-in-cheek nod to the over-ambitiousness of the mentioned film is unknown, and in the end, who really cares? All told, this fantasy film stands just fine on its own.

The basic premise is this: there’s this Princess (Amelia Jackson Gray), cute as a button, on a desperate mission to save her kingdom from impending invasion by an army of not-so-cute elves, the evil kind. Only problem is, the elves aren’t her only problem. She has to navigate her way through a haunted forest, a sorceress (Eliza Swenson) of questionable loyalties, a band of mercenaries and their roguish leader (Jeff Denton) and, as the title would lead one to believe, a big ass Dragon. 

Fortunately for our Princess, however, she does not traverse this forest nor brave these travails alone; at her side are a pair of upstanding adventurers (Matthew Wolf, Jon Paul Gates) more than capable of defending her majesty.

Before I get into any other aspect of this film, I’m going to talk a minute here about the effects, as with a film like this – that is, a direct-to-DVD purported fantasy epic – effects are the dealbreaker; a bad story can be overlooked, sour performances made funny, so long as when the moment comes, the effects don’t disappoint. And these don’t. Crafted by the fine folks at Sharper Effects Group, each effect – from dragons to fire to magic et cetera – is seamlessly integrated into the visual fabric of the film so that, while not perfect, they are near-perfect in context. The dragon especially, though a dash cartoonish, Pokemon-ish, even, was real enough for me; if we ran into each other in a dark alley, I’d definitely piss myself.

As for the performances, this one – like many Leigh Scott films – boasts a fine cast of capable regulars. Jeff Denton (Beast of Bray Road, The Hitchhiker) plays the roguish leader of the mercenaries with his customarily formidable aplomb, audacious and suavely capable. Great hair here, too, though his accent is slightly less-great. Ms. Gray (Halloween Night, Snakes on a Train) as the Princess is perfectly cold and demurely arrogant, blooming over the course of the film to reveal a good heart and strong soul at the center of a fiercely loyal and independent woman in an era where such a thing was a rarity. Also showcasing great strength and an awesome accent is Ms. Swenson (Transmorphers, Dracula’s Curse) as the sorceress. Ms. Swenson is gorgeously witchy like Stevie Nicks at her peak, but, you know, fucking mean. This is the best I’ve seen her, totally immersed in this accursed, prognosticating wretch of a witch, but, admittedly, I’m just discovering the joys of this wonderful actress, so for all I know the best could be yet to come. Here she’s like the best goddesses: frighteningly authoritative and creepily sexy.Plus, she did the score for this film. Yup, and it's really, really good.

As the guards, Matthew Wolf (Transmorphers, The Apocalypse) and Jon Paul Gates (a whole bunch of stuff even I haven’t heard of) are the heart of the film, the former playing it as a naïve warrior, too chivalrous, perhaps, for his profession, and as such endearing, while the latter demonstrates some of the same chivalrous obedience paired with independent caution; he’s got a job to do from which he wavers not, but mortality to him is a real thing, and something to guard fiercely. 

Leigh Scott, as mentioned and as he often does, pulled double creative duty here, writing and directing. His script is truly epic from the get-go, not overly-mythic but rather, like the best myths, simply explained as a struggle between good and evil for an ultimate balance. The story is competently militaristic, believable from a strategic standpoint, and only fantastic for the agents that execute the plan; this could have been a war movie, a sci-fi flick, a western - the story’s that universal. Here LS has crafted an engaging narrative that fits the genre for its basic complexity, but doesn’t bore or lag, and packs a mammoth wallop for 80 minutes. As a director, LS makes a great use of the scenery, making a real forest haunted by use of light and color to strike an unsettling ambiance.

Overall I found this one to be faithful – in terms of narrative and atmosphere – to the films it would seem to ape: Lord of the Rings, Eragon, Dragonheart, Reign of Fire. The action sequences are spectacular*, and these when paired with a stirring plot and excellent performances make for an intense drama expertly doled-out at a pace that accomplishes the near-impossible: making epic that which takes less than an hour and a half to unfurl. If you like dragon-based fantasy films, I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t love this one.

*my cat, who, in 6 years has never paid so much as a lick of attention to the TV, was utterly transfixed by this one, for whatever reason. Weezer has very discriminating tastes, believe me; I’d trust her more than me.

Observation Notes Catch-Up: Horror

I know not all my readers have been with me from the beginning, and I also know given the amount of postings I've made, things can get lost in the shuffle. I also know that I'm not the best at tagging uniformly, so there might be a few things, specifically Observation Notes, that go unread. As such, periodically I like to remind you - with links! - of the films I've reviewed, and I think a good way of grouping these is by genre. So here, for your catching-up or even revisiting pleasure, are the Horror films produced by The Asylum that I've reviewed thus far, along with links to the original posts. Enjoy!










Death Racers
directed by Roy Knyrim
story by Roy Knyrim & Patrick Tantalo
screenplay by Andrew Helm
(not technically horror, but enough blood that it counts)

8213 Gacy House
directed by Anthony Fankhauser
written by Reality

The Beast of Bray Road
written and directed by Leigh Scott

I Am Omega
directed by Griff Furst
suggested by a novella by Richard Matheson
screenplay by Geoff Meed

When a Killer Calls
directed by Peter Mervis
written by Steve Bevilacqua &  Peter Mervis

Legion of the Dead
written and directed by Paul Bales

Killers
directed by David Michael Latt
written by Steven Ramirez

Killers 2
directed by David Michael Latt
written by Paul Bales
based on characters created by Steven Ra

observation notes: Princess and the Pony (formerly 1st Furry Valentine)

You didn't think I was gonna skip this one, did you? You didn't assume that just because this is a massive thematic departure for The Asylum, their first, full-on venture into family filmmaking (overlooking Sunday School Musical - incidentally from this director - and Pirates of Treasure Island; the former is aimed at teens and the latter has too much cleavage for anyone under 10) that I would choose to ignore it? Oh no, my friends - in for a penny, in for a pound, that's practically the colloquial definition of "committed," and I'm nothing but. These guys could release a knitting instructional video and I'd watch it. Twice. So here we go:

When a privileged but sheltered princess (Fiona Perry) is threatened by a breach of palace security, her mother the Queen (Kim Little, in her first Asylum flick since 2009's Countdown:Jerusalem) makes the decision to send her to America where she has an aunt (Bobbi Jo Lathan) living in the heartland, far from suspicious or pernicious eyes and hands. Once there, immersed in the decidedly plebeian culture, forced to pretend she is the opposite of herself, a normal little girl, our princess naturally has trouble making friends, at least of the human variety; when she discovers a carnival pony, however, it's love at first sight. But this love is soon threatened when the ne'er-do-well carnival owner (Bill Oberst Jr.) discovers her true identity, thus her true worth.

I'm not ashamed to admit, nor do I think it's weird, that as a grown man with no kids I found this to be an enjoyable film. Everyone loves a good fairy tale, and that's exactly what this is, a parable about virtue and friendship modernized for today's kids while retaining enough classical elements to feel timeless. The script, by director Rachel Lee Goldenberg (Sherlock Holmes) and Bill Parker (an Asylum editor), is balanced nicely between sentimental and adventurous, hitting all the right emotional chords without lapsing too much into being wholly either. The result is a fun, sweet, lively and uplifting film that - oh yeah, I'm going to say it - the whole family can enjoy.

Fiona Perry, a relative newcomer with a credit here or there, is the perfect princess, a child actress capable of portraying a burden most grown folk couldn't passably carry, that of being royalty, and the pressures, restrictions and in fact short-comings, socially and practically speaking, such a life implies. Miss Perry shows an emotional range well beyond her years, and is exactly the sort of little girl every other little girl would want to be friends with. The Asylum might have just found itself a Fanning-esque prodigy. 

Ms. Lathan shines as Aunt Fay, as does Ron Hajak as Lawrence, the princess' American paternal figure, but it's the performance by Bill Oberst Jr. as despicable carnival owner Theodore Snyder that steals the show on the adults' end. As a sort of cartoonishly further-demented Daniel Plainview (click here, then here), he takes wickedness to a delightful new level and transforms what could have been a generic villain into a memorable adversary. They should shuffle this guy into a regular Asylum flick - he'd make a heck of a space marine platoon leader or serial killer.

All in all, then, the verdict on this one is positive. For a guy who doesn't really watch a lot of kid-oriented stuff (at least not the stuff made after, I don't know, 1987?) I wasn't really aware of the fact that I was watching something intended primarily for kids. A good story is a good story, and this was just that. Throw in some great performances and an uplifting ending - not something all Asylum films come with; I'm looking at you, When a Killer Calls and Sex Pot - and you got yourself a positive 85 minutes. If I had a daughter, I'd totally let her watch Princess and the Pony, and she'd totally love it. Committed from birth.

Observation Notes Catch-Up: Comedies

I know not all my readers have been with me from the beginning, and I also know given the amount of postings I've made, things can get lost in the shuffle. I also know that I'm not the best at tagging uniformly, so there might be a few things, specifically Observation Notes, that go unread. As such, periodically I like to remind you - with links! - of the films I've reviewed, and I think a good way of grouping these is by genre. So here, for your catching-up or even revisiting pleasure, are the Comedies produced by The Asylum that I've reviewed thus far, along with links to the original posts. Enjoy!

 MILF
written by Jonny Haug
directed by Scott Wheeler

Sex Pot 

written & directed by Eric Forsberg

18-Year-Old Virgin

written By Naomi Selfman

directed by Tamara Olson

#1 Cheerleader Camp

written by Naomi Selfman

directed by Mark Quod

observation notes: 2012 Supernova

So, it's been brought to my attention via comments, personal emails and Facebook posts that perhaps in these observation notes, in my zeal to communicate my enthusiasm for Asylum productions, I'm giving away a bit too much in regards to plot details, thus doing the opposite of my primary directive and spoiling a thing or two. As I've said before, the ultimate point of these notes, indeed this blog, is to spark your interest, whet your appetite, and make you want to see the daggum movies. As such, I will try to restrain myself a little more in the future, restrict my synopses from now on to no more than a mere paragraph of general description, focusing my efforts instead on praising the technical and creative aspects of the films. Funny, I think, maybe you won't, that I choose to start this with a film I didn't particularly care for. Either way, here we go:

This is the second of The Asylum's 2012-prefixed films - sandwiched between 2008's 2012: Doomsday and next year's 2012: Ice Age - and, as the title indicates, concerns impending oblivion courtesy of an astronomical anomalous catastrophe: seems a star in a neighboring galaxy goes ape-shit unstable and explodes, "supernova" as the kids call it, and unleashes a deadly burst of space-radiation hurtling towards Earth, where it will eradicate every living thing on the planet; it is up to a brilliant if rebellious astrophysicist (Brian Krause) to compose a radical plan that can save all of mankind from imminent extinction. That plan? Well, that's one of the things on which I'm censoring myself, but rest assured I didn't choose the adjective "radical" haphazardly. Add to this a subplot - one typical in Asylum films; see Mega Fault, Meteor Apocalypse, Titanic II - in which said astrophysicist's family is in constant peril from the first ripples of destruction, and the result is a moderately intense - if overly melodramatic - disaster flick roughly on par with other direct-to-DVD offerings in the genre.

I'm not known to be one who minces words, so I won't start here: this isn't the greatest story, and the dialog is even not-greater. This film, in fact, is a pretty good example of a stellar - pardon the pun - concept that crashed and burned upon execution. This story was too rote, the characters weren't near developed enough - despite admirable turns by the principle cast - and the conclusion kinda sucked. That said, the FX were pretty cool, startlingly cool, in fact, as though lifted from another movie and dropped into this one, a credit to both the visual effects department and director Anthony Fankhauser (8213 Gacy House), the latter of whom makes the best of a mediocre situation by depicting the chaos as sufficiently chaotic and peril palpable. My only critique of the direction would be the repetitive use of the same FX clips, but, given what the budget of such a film was bound to be, I suspect this isn't a short-coming of direction but rather an economic necessity, so, no harm no foul.

As for performances, I like Brian Krause. I can't put my finger on just why, I just always relate to him. Whether it's in this or other genre work - from the classic Sleepwalkers to the more-recent Beyond Loch Ness and Warbirds - there's just something really normal about this guy, in a good way, something we can all empathize with. Given that, I actually liked him in this: intense, focused, gruff, desperate but strong. The Asylum should have him back soon.

The lovely Heather McComb("The Event," "Prison Break," non-Asylum Shark Swarm) as the beleagured wife seeking protection against unimaginable perils, is appropriately frazzled without over-acting, and manages a grace under fire that is admirable and indeed noteworthy. Actress Najarra Townsend (hella shorts) rounds out the cast, showing a modicum of promise in her role, holding her own with the more accomplished actors.

This - global annihilation via extraterrestrial masses - isn't a new concept to either cinema in general (Armageddon, Deep Impact) or The Asylum (2012 Doomsday, Meteor Apocalypse) and while this is far and away not the finest entry in either category, it is a moderately entertaining 85 minutes, thanks to neat-o FX and plausible performances. But, truthfully, in a choice between this film and the actual apocalypse, it's kind of a toss up.

Sorry, they can't all be positive.

observation notes: Legion of the Dead

It's a modern-day mummy scare courtesy of writer/director and Asylum executive Paul Bales.

When daredevil weekend motocross-ers in California stumble (crash) upon an Egyptian tomb (?), they accidentally unleash an ancient evil whose bloodlust has been lying dormant too long. This brings in university Egyptologist Zach Galligan (Gremlins) and his team of student archaeologists, including the requisite bespectacled hottie (Courtney Clonch) who's had the requisite drunken fling with her professor and now it's awkward as shit, but the education must go on, so here she is. Before the excavation can even get in full swing, however, there's already a confrontation with the local law enforcement (Bruce Boxleitner) and the mysteriously authoritative coroner (Andy Lauer) over issues of safety. Ominously, and foolishly, ZG dismisses their concerns, decreeing that all will be well (It most certainly will not).

Down in the tomb, the university team is joined by an Indiana-Jones style adventurer/academic of either French, German or British decent, I couldn't tell by the accent, oddly enough, and embodied by the capable form of Rhett Giles, who not only is able to disarm millennia-old booby traps, but also offer some bizarre yet I'm sure plausibly-anchored in historical fact explanation as to why there'd be an Egyptian tomb on the West Coast of the United States. I'll admit to being slightly buzzed at this point so not entirely following this logic, but the students on screen seemed to fall for it, and it's their field, so, who am I to doubt?

Hieroglyphics in the tomb spell out certain death but still our intrepid university-team foolishly continues to poke and prod about recklessly, even going so far as to open a mummy's coffin.  Now, I'm no Egyptologist, obviously, but I'm pretty sure if there was a rule book for such a thing, a guide of basic do's and don'ts handed out to every freshman Egyptology major, rule one on page one would read in big fucking bold, block letters: NEVER OPEN THE COFFIN. Or maybe that's just me.


So while this curse is unfurling, as if it wasn't enough, we get the first flares of in-team tension. Seems ZG is pleased with the drunken sexual encounter between he and the bespectacled hottie last year, but she isn't, and furthermore, who's even less pleased is the fella, also on the team, who's been trying to win her heart, let alone her loins, for some time now but she just keeps pushing him away, while pulling others closer. Essentially, this chick's boned too many dudes on this small team, and egos are colliding. And a danger such as this, a danger of the heart, can be the most perilous of all. Until the mummy awakes, of course, and then who gives a fuck about feelings?


And awake the mummy is, thanks to four-eyes' aloud-translation of the hieroglyphics, and, surprise of surprises, the mummy manifests as an eve hotter hottie (Claudia Lynx) with a penchant for walking around butt-ass naked and sucking your...wait for it...lifeforce (sorry) with her touch. A couple of souls in her system and our hottie mummy, now all alert and potent, sets out into the modern world, where she runs into the other hottie, the student, who - thinking our naked killer mummy some poor, disoriented naked foreigner - is nice enough to dress her in a shirt that shows plenty of her midriff. The mummy then uses the human hottie as a beard that she might infiltrate the Egyptoligists and unfurl her centuries-old plan of revenge (only Rhett Giles knows the mummy is a mummy, but this is no good, as he's on her side. D'oh!)


From here there be spoilers, ye be warned - but before its over there's a lot more dead and even more long-dead alive again, if that makes any sense. 

Overall, I found Legion of the Dead to be a fun scare, more heavy on gore than frights, but thanks to great FX and a solid script that kept its science light and the horror out front, balancing levity, historical accuracy, archaeological authenticity, thrills, chills and boobs like a master plate spinner. Helping this balance is an array of solid performances from the cast. ZG hasn't aged a day by the looks of things, no matter how big of a beard you put on him. And try as he might, he isn't as convincing as I would have liked at being the sleaze-ball, coed-preying university scalliwag, but he plays pathetic well, so when his character takes a turn in that direction, he really comes alive. Then, unfortunately, he really comes the opposite. Brief role for Zach, here. Also briefly on-screen is the other name, Bruce B, who as the sheriff has even less screen time than Zach. What lines he does have he reads as softly stern and likably authoritative. Feels like Greg Evigan in 6 Guns, he's on the box to get your attention, but the brunt of the action doesn't fall anywhere near him.

Of the two girls, Courtney the student hottie has the bigger role, which she plays as simultaneously capable and naive, a little doe-eyed but  intelligent, so not helpless. She was a lot of fun to watch, mostly because of her talent, but a little to do with that cut-off-collar sweatshirt she rocked for most of the film. I'm a sucker for off-duty-librarian-chic (you'll know what I mean if you need to). Claudia, our Egyptian minx, played her role of royalty as just that: poised, severe, breathtakingly beautiful, and all while frequently naked, to boot, so ascending to a whole new level of the aforementioned traits.


Writer/Director Paul Bales has written several other Asylum films, but to date this is his only trip behind the camera. The tricks of light and sound and tremors of camerawork he employs, along with his script, help to make this one more than a mere low-budget modern-day mummy flick, and instead a grade-A historical horror film that never takes itself too seriously, while never letting itself grown too light. 

Pretty damn good time, if you ask me.

Observation Notes Catch-Up: Creature Features

I know not all my readers have been with me from the beginning, and I also know given the amount of postings I've made in such a short span of time, things can get lost in the shuffle. I also know that I'm not the best at tagging uniformly, so there might be a few things, specifically Observation Notes, that go unread. As such, periodically I like to remind you - with links! - of the films I've reviewed, and I think a good way of grouping these is by genre. So here, for your catching-up or even revisiting pleasure, are the Creature Features produced by The Asylum that I've reviewed thus far, along with links to the original posts. Enjoy!

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
written and directed by Ace Hannah

Monster 
written and directed by Erik Estenberg

 Supercroc  
story by David Michael Latt
screenplay by Steve Bevilacqua
directed by Scott Harper

The Beast of Bray Road
written and directed by Leigh Scott



  

King of the Lost World
written by David Michael Latt & Carlos de los Rios
directed by Leigh Scott

Mega Piranha
written and directed by Eric Forsberg