MSvC on SyFy !!!

Just a reminder, my fellow faithfully-committed, that this Saturday night, August 20th, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus will be getting its World Television Premiere on SyFy at 9pm. That gives The Asylum yet another shot at claiming the SyFy Original Movie ratings record of 3.12 million viewers set by Lake Placid 2 a few years back. In recent years films have come close - Lake Placid 3 (directed by Asylum-alum Griff Furst) garnered 3 million viewers, Sharktopus brought in 2.5 last year, and Swamp Shark (also directed by Furst) was watched by 2.2 million viewers. 

So as you can see, creature features bring them in. Three of the four highest-rated SyFy original movies of the last year involve either sharks, or crocodiles. That fourth movie? Mega Python vs Gatoroid, which drew 2.35 million viewers. Add all this up and the only answer is that come Sunday morning, the ratings crown could very well be sitting on The Asylum's handsome head.

Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus was directed by Christopher Ray (Almighty Thor, currently shooting 2 Headed Shark Attack, off a script I wrote based on a story by Ed DeRuiter) and written by Naomi Selfman (Barely Legal, Mega Python vs Gatoroid), two of the best in The Asylum's stable, and stars the incomparable Jaleel White alongside Asylum-mainstay Sarah Lieving and the formidable Gary Stretch. And oh yeah, there's a Star Trek dude in it too, Robert Picardo.

So let's see...we got a shark, a crocodile - both massive - Jaleel White and a Trekkie? What more could SyFy fans possibly want? Tell everyone you know this is going down, Tweet this post, blog it, Facebook it, do whatever non-word verb goes with Google+ it - anything you can to get the word out and the people tuned in. This Saturday night, 9pm, SyFy, a great, fun, highly explosive flick, the stuff of B-movie gold, is gonna be all up on your television; don't miss it!

Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus Gets a SyFy Premiere!

Last year's best shark film, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus - suck it, Sharktopus - will finally get the primetime exposure it deserves on the 20th of this month when it makes its World Television Premiere on the greatest network in the history of television, SyFy.

That's right, fellow inmates, we're getting another crack at shattering the SyFy Saturday Night Original Movie ratings record, currently held by Lake Placid 3 - helmed by former inmate Griff Furst - at 3 million viewers. The only two flicks to even come close are shark flicks - it-who-shall-not-be-named at 2.5 million and Furst's follow-up Swamp Shark at 2.2 million - meaning if we start blogging, facebooking, tweeting and whatever else right now, we got a real chance at taking the crown.

Either way, a great film is coming to a great channel on a undoubtedly pleasant summer evening. Jaleel White, Gary Stretch and Robert Picardo star for director Christopher Ray - currently starting work on his next film, The Asylum's 2 Headed Shark Attack, details coming soon, promise - from a script by Naomi Selfman.

Saturday, August 20th at 9 p.m. is when it goes down. Tell ten people to tell ten people right now!

inmate profile: Kel Mitchell

This one's just plain fun for me. I've been a fan of the great and talented Kel Mitchel ever since "All That" hit the airwaves back in 1994. Since then, I've watched and waited with the rest of the world as a standout young actor has had to fight for respectability as an adult. "All That" lead quickly to "Kenan and Kel," the smash Nickelodeon hit co-starring Kel's early comedic partner and current SNLer Kenan Thompson. As a college student, I watched a lot of "Kenan and Kel" with my buddies. We were, of course, stoned, but that only heightened our enjoyment of the Laurel-and-Hardy-esque escapades of the pair. The pair also made a movie together, 1997's classic Good Burger (which, yes, I have seen more than a dozen times. I even own a copy on VHS; it's orange) before going their separate ways in 2000. I watched that one the other day for the first time in a few years and it was still every bit as heartwarming and hilarious as it was the first time.

Kenan flirted with major movie stardom with his role in the Ben Stiller-vehicle Mystery Men, and from there has worked steadily in television - especially voiceover work - and in movies here and there, mostly comedies. 2007 saw him turn in another tour de force performance in John Sayles' Honeydripper opposite Danny Glover and Charles S. Dutton, and, of course, he has stayed active as a musician/performer.

For my money, Kel was always the more obviously talented of his peers, funnier and an all-around stronger actor, so it has always surprised and disappointed me that I haven't seen more of him. But now, all grown up and, as the pictures above hint, packing some muscle, there could be a whole new world developing for Mr. Mitchell. Battle of Los Angeles will be the first action film I've seen him in, but I have a feeling it's going to open a lot of doors in terms of the sort of work we see him do from now on. Mr. Mitchell has a strong on-screen presence, is a very natural actor, funny, yes, but with a real depth of emotional range that could have him pulling off, I truly believe, any role that's put before him. The guy's just good, then and now, and it would be great to see him in a wider range of projects. 

Hell, let's get The Asylum to capitalize on this and the similar career transition I hoped for a few months ago upon the release of Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, starring Jaleel White: a buddy cop movie, The Asylum's first, starring Jaleel and Kel as wise-crackin', authority-snubbin', own-rule-playin' detectives in some major metropolitan area. It could be their Bad Boys. Both of these guys, I feel, have had the same raw deal: we loved them as younger actors, heralded them for skills seemingly beyond their years, and then as soon as they transitioned into adulthood, we pigeon-holed them, type-cast them, and consequently under-appreciated them. Well, now's our chance to make amends. Tune in Saturday, March 12th at 9pm on SyFy to watch Kel Mitchell in Battle of Los Angeles. You never know, you could be watching a rebirth of epic proportions.

observation notes: Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus

A lot of people seem to question or even doubt my unwavering love of The Asylum, thinking perhaps I do this with my tongue-in-cheek; I do not, and I shit you not, I have been waiting for this moment since the first crude picture of the Mega Shark vs. Gigantosaurus poster made the rounds following this year's Cannes Festival: the moment I press play on Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus. No build up can do this justice, so let's just get right into it. 

The film opens in a beautiful, remote jungle in the interior of the Congo, where a shady coal mining operation is interrupted by the awakening of a massive, massive fucking crocodile-thing, big enough to make Supercroc look like an asshole.

Cut to a battleship, the USS Gibson - nice - where Jaleel White, portraying the Navy's "shark guy," in title an "aqua acoustical engineer," is summoned by his Captain (Mike Gaglio) to examine strange heat projections picked up by their equipment. The Captain thinks it's a pod of whales, but Jaleel disagrees, says it's too big, and the signature is uniquely shark. The Captain angrily dismisses this, accusing Jaleel of holding on too tight to his theory that the Mega Shark is still alive, which Jaleel himself confirms by restating his point that no carcass was found, nor was there any visual confirmation of the Mega Shark's death. The Captain shoos him away, but Jaleel is more convinced than ever that the Mega Shark is alive and out there somewhere just waiting to strike again. It doesn't wait long, however, as about two minutes later it belly flops onto the deck of the battleship. Awesome to see you again, Mega Shark.

In the course of the ensuing chaos, someone important to Jaleel is killed, making his interest in Mega Shark now more than intellectual, it's personal. That's right: this time it's personal.

Back in the Congo we're introduced to Nigel Putnam (Gary Stretch), a dashing, adventurous, mecenary cryptozoological trapper. He's approached by a representative of the mining corporation and asked to capture the creature responsible for the deaths of 34 of their men, which we know is the Crocosaurus. As the price is right, he naturally accepts. 

Now, I made a promise earlier this week to try and stay as spoiler-free as possible, and I really want to do so here as I believe everyone in the world should see this for themselves, so I'll cease with the plot description for now but to say, by way pf praising Naomi Selfman's script, that how these creatures come together and what happens when they do is nothing short of inventive, plausible for the world in which they exist, and pretty fucking fun to watch, more fun, I have no problem saying, than even its predecessor, and you guys know how much I love the first one. Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus's script trades scientific explanations for adventurous hunts, pitting men with personal commitments to capture/destruction against these mega monsters, as opposed to scientists who chance upon the creatures and clean up the mess. This makes for a more engaging story that flows better than the first, which at times felt interrupted for exposition. Overall, this film is a perfect progression from the first, more confident in its world and therefore more at ease in its narrative; there's less halting, instead just a constant stream of mega-awesomeness.

In addition to Naomi Selfman's script, this progression is made possible thanks to stirring performances from all of its leads. Now, as much as I love the first film, we all know the acting was not its strongest suit. Here, however, the roles are better cast and everybody's on top of their game. The two male leads, Jaleel White ("Family Matters") and Gary Stretch (Alexader), are perfect counterpoints to each other, seemingly different sorts with similar agendas and inspirations. White comes off calm and confident, suave, while alternately intense and brooding. He shows a real penchant for action movies here, and could have a future in the genre. He isn't hard-looking enough, in the face, I mean, to pull of roles like those taken by the likes of Wesley Snipes or Arnold, but he'd make an awesome Bruce Willis-style of hero, and I think that's better. Plus, he's got a great running scream. Stretch is perfect in his role, elegantly coarse and rough-and-tumble believeable, abrasive as a means to his ends but underneath a good man with a great mind. He too should show up in many, many more action films. 

This film also marks the return of Sarah Lieving (The Beast of Bray Road, The Hitchhiker, Invasion of the Pod People) to a billed role in an Asylum film for the first time in four years, and when she comes back, man does she come back. She plays a special agent who's badass and belittling, cold and spare, an efficient employee, terse and effortlessly capable. It's almost like an evolution of her character from The 9/11 Commission Report, here honed into a sharper weapon, more acerbic in her confidence, in turn making her much more potent a character.

And of course there's Robert Picardo ("Star Trek: Voyager") as the admiral in charge of coordinating the hunts, seemingly in a hardass contest with Lieving; we'll call it a draw. He commands a bridge like he's been thinking about it a while. Asylum regular Mike Gaglio also shines as the gruff, disbelieving Captain.

As for the FX, they too top those of the first: they're sharper, more complete - instead of snippets and blurred close-ups we get many, many, awesome full-body shots of both creatures, not too mention battleships, helicopters, submarines and missiles. The battle/rampage scenes are deftly directed by Christopher Ray and are among the best - if not the best - in The Asylum's catalogue. Be it in the ocean, in the air or even on land, the chaos and destruction these two creatures unleash is legendary, and looks the part. The last forty-five minutes of this thing are just one skirmish after another - shark alone, croc alone, shark vs croc - that culminates in a truly spectacular climax well-deserving of the surging symphonic score that accompanies it. And the end? Well...I'll just say there's a certain image - you'll know it when you see it - that I want tattooed on my back. My whole back.


Oh, and for those of you wondering if there's a scene to top that from the first film of the shark snatching the plane from the sky? No spoilers, remember? But yes. And yes and yes and yes.


So, in short, this was worth every second I waited for it. As much as I enjoy, nay, love the first film, this one is just smarter, better-made, much better-performed, and more thrilling. If you enjoyed the first one, you won't be able to help but love this one. In fact, I'm gonna go ahead and place it in a category with Godfather II - that's right, I said it, Godfather II; bring it - as being a highly-anticapted sequel that surpasses the accomplishments of the original film. 


So there. Add it to your Netflix cues and whatnot to enjoy it this Tuesday, December 21st.

inmate profile: Gary Stretch

In order to properly preface the year's most hotly-anticipated sequel - Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, of course - I'm going to be posting more profiles than normal over the next few weeks to help get us all up to date on the creative forces behind this impending classic. Already in the virtual pages of this blog I've profiled actress Sarah Lieving and director Christopher Ray; if you don't know who the uber-talented Jaleel White is, I pity you, and I figure there are enough Trekkies in my readership that Robert Picardo of "Voyager"-fame needs no introduction, as well. But there's a dark horse in the cast I think bears closer examination, one Gary Stretch.

Bear with me a moment and consider something: Jason Statham. British, classically handsome, fit, fierce and simultaneously debonair, a dapper gangster with a steely attitude to match his fists, a grace in persona comparable only to his fluid mayhem. What could be cooler than Jason Statham? How about Gary fucking Stretch, who's all those things, plus, instead of being just an unfairly handsome British model, he also happens to be the glamour boy of early 90's British boxing. Yup, a for-real boxer.

A one-time light-middleweight champ, Stretch's one-two punch of personality and good lucks made him a staple in the British tabloids in his heyday, a popularity that helped pave the way for the inevitable transition into acting.

But before you start drawing comparisons to Stone Cold Steve Austin, John Cena or other muscular athletes who have tread the boards, Stretch is the real deal, often turning in impassioned, gritty performances that have earned him acclaim and accolades aplenty, including a British Independent Film Award nomination for his role alongside Paddy Considine in the 2004 thriller Dead Man's Shoes. It's performances such as that one which have kept Stretch's career on a steady ascent over the last few years, catching the eye of major Hollywood players including writer/director/firestarter Oliver Stone, who has used Mr. Stretch in two of his films, Alexander and World Trade Center.

In MSvC, Stretch plays a character named Nigel Putnam, who, based on what little I can deduce from the trailer, is some sort of giant crocodile expert, or at the least some sort of outdoorsy foreigner who first encounters Crocosaurus. Whatever he is, you can bet Stretch brings some smoldering intensity to the screen, and a bitchin' beard that kind of makes him look like a younger Lapidus from "Lost," or a scarier Pierce Brosnan in Seraphim Falls. 

So there you have it, the second-billed star in MSvC now revealed. Check out Gary's chops this December 21st when the films is released on DVD. Add it to your Netflix cues now!

Oh, and Mr Stretch? Consider yourself saluted.

inmate profile: Christopher Ray

So yesterday the Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus trailer at long last hit the web, therefore I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to take a closer look at the man in the director's chair for this impending classic, one Christopher Ray (who is kinda tough to find a picture of online. that's supposedly him on the left).

I've made mention here before of Mr. Ray's cinematic background - his father is noted exploitation director Fred Olen Ray, who in more than thirty years of filmmaking has unleashed near one hundred titles, among them Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Evil Toons and Scalps. So you just knew it was only a matter of time before Ray the Younger stepped behind the camera, and fortunate for us, this progeny chose The Asylum for his feature debut!

Ray has directed twice before, but never for a feature release: in 2008 he directed Reptisaurus, a made-for-TV movie starring Gil Gerard, and a series called "Road to Rhythm." So it seems he has a little experience with creature features, and a little with TV, which makes him, in my book, the perfect mediator between Mega Shark, Crocosaurus, and Jaleel White.

Ray honed his Hollywood skills as an assistant director, PA and coordinator on more than a dozen of his father's films back in the 1990's, so you know he received a lot of on-set training from a master of his field. In fact, C-Ray's still working as a first assistant director, forever learning, on an upcoming C. Tom Howell film I've made mention of before, Camel Spiders.

So though this might be his feature directorial debut, Christopher Ray is no stranger to the game, no mere novice plunging feet-first into sacred, chummed waters -- he seems weathered, learned, and more than capable of delivering to us, the ever-expectant masses, simply one of the greatest monster shark films of all time (please please please).

No doubt Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus marks the beginning of a prosperous and proliferate directing career, so get on the bandwagon while there's still room. The film debuts on DVD December 21, 2010, only 19 short days from now.

It's Here! It's Here! It's Here! Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus Trailer!!!

At long last, the moment we've all been anxiously awaiting has arrived, the year's most eagerly anticipated trailer is finally here: Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus. From the looks of things, this has the potential to be the Best...Asylum...Film...EVER The film itself drops on December 21st, but until then, watch this over and over and over, and help make it, like its predecessor, one of the most Googled trailers of the year!

whispers from another cell: News From Within The Asylum

2010 Moby Dick Released Today on DVD! (Kind of ) Commentary This Weekend!

That's right, today is MD-Day, so rush out right now to your local, independent video store or other legitimate rental source and snatch this one off the racks. Better yet, click over to The Asylum store and purchase a copy. It's well worth it. I've extolled the virtues of this one already, and I'm telling you, $17.99 is a deal for action of this magnitude. The longer I sit with the image of the whale, the more I love it. Melville would have been proud, I believe. 


But you don't have to take my word for it: hit up this link to The Asylum's blog, where they have a list of reviews from around the web. Careful though, spoilers abound, and though the story at origin you might know, there are certain Asylum stamps (courtesy of Paul Bales) on this one you don't want spoiled.


Once you have seen it, indulge in this special treat leaked to me by Trey Stokes himself, the man in the director's chair of 2010MD: Mr. Stokes and some colleagues have been doing weekly podcasts for nearly two years called Down In Front, in which they pick a film to insightfully analyze/savagely ridicule, and this week, they're giving the treatment to MD. Since Asylum movies - as yet - don't come with director commentaries, this will be the closest thing we've gotten so far. Stokes says the podcast will go live Sunday or Monday, and can be heard at www.downinfront.net. 

And by the by, for those who doubt my commitment to Moby Dick, my utter respect and pure love, not for The Asylum movie, necessarily, but rather the work it's based on, and therefore, in some small way, I guess, any incarnation it takes, I offer the flesh of my right forearm:

I don't make Dick jokes.


Mega Python vs. Gatoroid Gets a Release Date

So SyFy made it official today and announced a long-awaited release date for the Debbie Gibson-Tiffany toe-to-toe grudge match that is Mega Python vs. Gatoroid. January 29th is the date, 9p.m. on SyFy. That's a Saturday night, so tell your lady she's gonna have to either make other plans or kick it at home, because that's the night every man who was a pre-teen in the late 80's has nothing better to do, period. Let the countdown begin.





Less Than One Month Until Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus!

I know it seems too good to be true, but it isn't: as of today, there are exactly four weeks before the most eagerly anticipated non-Wizard sequel of the year hits our hot, greedy little hands. On December 21st Mega Shark is back in action, taking on Africa's deadliest secret, the ginormous crocosaurus. Who will win? Who will lose? How many innocents will die needlessly in the brawl? Hopefully scores, because expectations are definitely high for this one. Still no trailer, but I wouldn't be surprised if one drops in the next 48 hours, seeing as how 2010 Moby Dick is out and MSvC is next in the cue for release. Rest assured, as soon as I see it, you'll see it.

Nope, THIS is the Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus Poster!

And it exceeds my wildest dreams. Look at that ferocity, that chaos, that carnage. The only thing I have issue with is the tagline, because from the looks of this, whatever the end result, everybody wins. 

This future classic drops December 21st of this year. Anyone who's keeping score, I'll take a mega-sized poster of this in my stocking.

Even More Mega Shark 2 Photos!!!

So, according to The Asylum's site, principal photography has wrapped on Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, and to follow up the photos I posted yesterday from their twitter site of behind-the-scenes action, here's a smattering of production stills fresh out of the camera. I gotta tell you, the images of Jaleel White with an automatic weapon are really doing it for me (non-sexually, of course. ew.) Now all we need is an official poster...then a teaser...then a trailer...then...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus!!!!!!!!! (December 21, 2010)

On-Set Photos from Mega Shark 2!!!

Yahoo!!!!! Fresh from The Asylum's twitter site comes these first on-set shots of Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, now in production for a December 21, 2010 release. Check out stars Jaleel White, Robert Picardo, Dylan Vox, director Christopher Ray and others in this quintet of snapshots.



Enjoy these now in anticipation of a hopefully soon-coming trailer and then the whole she-bang, an early Christmas (or whatever you celebrate at that time of year) gift to us all from the fine, fine folks at the Asylum.



Viva Mega Shark!

MEGA SHARK vs. CROCOSAURUS cast coming together! And what's the strange connection to SUPER SHARK?

So the internet has been fairly abuzz this week with news that Jaleel White (if the picture doesn't jog your memory, attribution won't mean a thing) has signed on as one of the leads of Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, now filming.

ESPN radio host Steve Mason, a very vocal Mega Shark fan, lobbied a small role for himself in the film, as well. Check out his story here.

Other cast members have also been revealed, including a couple familiar faces: Sarah Lieving, veteran of no less than a dozen Asylum films including Monster, Invasion of the Pod People and The Beast of Bray Road, and Dylan Vox of Titanic II. Oddly enough, both these actors are also in the non-Asylum feature Super Shark, directed by established provocateur Fred Olen Ray, slated for release around the same time. Something fishy's going....oh, even I can't finish that one.

Asylum newcomers fill the cast as well, including Richard Picardo of "Star Trek: Voyager" fame, Gary Stretch, who IMDB describes as "the glamor boy of British boxing," so, cool, and Hannah Cowley, a blonde girl.

MSvC is being directed by Christopher Ray, whose only feature before now seems to be the made-for-TV "Reptisaurus." This is where things get even weirder: Christopher Ray is the son of Fred Olen Ray. So not only are MS and Super Shark sharing actors, and a common villain, they actually share a bloodline. How's that for a scoop?

The waters get rough December 21st.