2 New Asylum Films Revealed!

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, I've been mega-busy, but in my absence, there have been two new Asylum flicks announced, both of which sound pretty rad.

First up, there's AE: Apocalypse Earth, from writer director Thunder Levin (American Battleship Warships, upcoming Sharknado), which tells the following story: A group of refugees from Earth land on an exotic planet, where they must fight ruthless aliens to survive.

A jungle-centric sci-fi adventure is always a good time in my book - see 100 Million BC, Alien Origin et al - especially given the cast: TV Highlander Adrian Paul, returning favorite Richard Grieco (Almighty Thor), and a newcomer, Costa Rican supermodel Bali Rodriguez, seen in this photo from the film's Facebook page. 

I thought American Warships was a really tight action film, better than the piece of shit that sued it, and Levin's earlier work for the studio, writing 2010's 200MPH, was also impressive, and there's no denying the man's a mad genius just for the concept of Sharknado, let alone whatever instant masterpiece it will be, so count my hopes high indeed at the prospect of what this could be. 

Next up there's Barrio Pitfighter, a hard-brawlin' ruckus from writer/director Jose Montesinos, who directed 2011's scintillatingly-awesome Barely Legal - thank you, sir - and reads as thus: A struggling martial arts teacher must compete in an underground fight ring in order to save his brother from a crime boss and reunite with his family. 

The films stars Marco Antonio Alvarez, Dennis Ruel, and one Morgan Benoit, who's a Master of Long Fist Kung Fu according to his IMBD page, so expect some severe badassery from this flick. 

AE: Apocalypse Earth is slated for release on May 28th of this year, with Barrio Pitfighter dropping less than a month later, on June 25th. 

inmate profile: Alex Arleo

Next up in the Committed spotlight from the cast of The Haunting of Whaley House is actor Alex Arleo, who plays the awesomely-named "Jake Wildman" in the film.

Arleo made his on-screen debut back in 2009 in George Anton's Dracula, in which he played "Holmwood." A couple years after that he made his first film with The Asylum, the riotously raunchy Barely Legal (that's him below). Then 2012 hit, and Arleo started popping up everywhere, first for The Asylum again in Celebrity Sex Tape, then alongside Michael Madsen in the drama Sprawl. Four episodes of Girls of Sunset Place followed that - another co-star of the series was Gary Stretch of Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus fame - then Bert: The Emotion Picture from Barely Legal director Jose Montesinos and co-starring Barely Legal's Jeneta St. Clair, and now he's back at The Asylum for the Haunting of Whaley House.

 
Obviously Arleo's becoming quite the in-demand young actor. Witness the chops that has casting scouts scooping him up when The Haunting of Whaley House dominates DVD, Blu-Ray and VOD charts everywhere starting July 31st.

creature feature: Virginity

In all Asylum movies, there is an enemy to be defeated. Sometimes that enemy is a monstrous creature running amok in a populous area; sometimes it's a crazed genius at the helm of a fiendish plot for world domination/destruction; sometimes it's a psycho or a supernatural being with a penchant for nubile women; sometimes it's an extraterrestrial lifeform or object whose arrival spells doom; and sometimes, in the cases of films like The 18 Year Old Virgin and Barely Legal, it is that most heinous of curses, the most affronting of affronts - your virginity.

In both these films - both written, by the way, by Naomi Selfman - and many other teenage sex comedies, virginity is a thing that must be slain, a thing to purge oneself of in order to insure normal, healthy personal development, and of course, lots of sex. In most creature features, this is the part where I would describe the creature in question, it's schematics and parameters, abilities and weaknesses; that's a little hard to do with virginity - it's just a thing about you that's there until it isn't, and getting rid of it, "killing" it, if you will, is relatively easy, depending on how you rate a variety of factors including appearance, willingness, standards and proximity to partners with comparable ratings. Yet it remains a hard and fast (pardon the pun) tenet of young adulthood: getting laid ain't easy. Even if, if 18 Year Old Virgin and Barely Legal are to be believed, you're a smoking hot chick.

In both films, women decide their still-intact virginities need to be done away with at the very first legal opportunity, their 18th birthdays. All sorts of sexy hi-jinks ensue in their quest to obtain a dong for the deed, and in the end, it's realized that sex and love, while of course highly compatible, can come separately with varying degrees of physical and emotional satisfaction. But they still hit it, so, problem solved.


Losing one's virginity, to some people, could be considered the most significant rite of passage there is; it certainly cannot be argued by anyone, no matter their beliefs, that it is one of the more intensely personal experiences a person can go through, and thus it is to be expected that pursuing this experience can sometimes reach fervent heights. That's why we have these movies, not to mention American Pie, The Last American Virgin, Losin' It, Porky's, Superbad, The Virginity Hit, Can't Hardly Wait, Twilight and, of course, The 40 Year Old Virgin. The conclusion? Virginity is to comedies as Nazis are to war movies: the ultimate villain.

Ooh, pitch idea: Virgins at the Center of the Earth, a sort of Vernesian Blue Lagoon/Land of the Lost thing about college kids on a church trip - the whole purity-ring crowd - whose bus falls into a crevice opened by a localized earthquake. Instead of dying in a fiery blaze as logic would dictate, they fall into an inner-earth paradise from which they can't escape. As the months wear on, the promises of the surface world fall away as passions flare. But you know, funny.

Barely Legal on DVD Today!!!

Today's the day, my fellow faithfully-committed, that the latest Asylum release hits the streets: Barely Legal, the studio's latest sex comedy from the pen of the uber-talented Naomi Selfman, the eye of Jose Montesinos and starring Jeneta St.Clair, Melissa Johnson and Lisa Younger.

You can scroll down a little ways for my notes on the film, or, if that's too strenuous, you can take my word for it that if you like sexy comedies, you will find a lot to treasure about Barely Legal: hot babes in lascivious situations wearing hardly anything.  

And, as if that wasn't enough, the film's previews include the first teaser trailer for A Haunting in Salem, the horror film I wrote, Shane Van Dyke directed and a slew of actors lead by Bill Oberst Jr brought to life. The film was originally set to street in August, but has since been re-scheduled for October 4th, a far scarier time of year. More on that to come...

observation notes: Barely Legal

As far as plotlines go, sex comedies aren't usually too high concept - typically it's just some dude trying to get laid. But in this latest release from The Asylum, this basic premise is tripled and given a gender twist in the form of three lovely young ladies and lifelong BFFs who make a vow to each lose their virginity on their shared 18th birthdays. The result is a funny, saucy, scintillating and titillating film that delivers everything it promises: sex, sex and sex.

The three leads - Jeneta St. Clair, Lisa Younger and Melissa Johnson - are relative newcomers with promising chops, each bringing a distinct personality to her virgin-in-longing: Johnson, "Sue," is the brainy conservative with just enough religious conviction to believe in saving herself, but enough religious repression to really need a bang; St. Clair, "Cheryl," is the film's control character, the good-girl-next-door ready to give her virginity to the fella she loves, making her also the film's emotional center; Younger, "Lexi," who is seriously the horniest, most promiscuous virgin in cinematic history, but not in a bad-girl way, more in a sinfully-curious way. Each actress pulls off her role with aplomb, but special kudos go to Younger for her comedic timing, Johnson for her endearing neuroses, and St. Clair for her immediate and constant likability.

The script, from Naomi Selfman (18 Year Old Virgin, #1 Cheerleader Camp, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, Mega Python vs Gatoroid) is spot-on in terms of comedy and sexiness. Furthermore, while the female-centric romantic comedy is a tried and true genre, Ms. Selfman and The Asylum over the last few years have been mastering the female-centric sex comedy, a truly awesome thing. This might be about chicks, but dudes will find plenty to enjoy.

Decide for yourself this Tuesday when Barely Legal hits the streets on DVD. Oh yeah, and as an added bonus, dig the first teaser trailer for A Haunting in Salem, the film I wrote, in the DVD's previews. More on this to come...

inmate profile: Jose Montecinos

Continuing Committed's spotlight on the creative forces behind The Asylum's next release, the sex comedy Barely Legal (out next Tuesday!), it's time to turn our focus on the director of the film, Mr. Jose Montesinos.

Born in the beautiful city of San Francisco, Montesinos has been making movies since his teens, transforming himself into a writing-editing-directing-cinematographing(?) auteur and garnering a good amount of renown in the process: a music video he directed in 1998 earned an award from the prestigious American Film Institute, a short from 2002 made the top five of the Alice Short Film Competition; as for features, 2000's Number 35 received kudos from Sundance, the LA Film Festival and even awesome-as-hell director Darren Aronofsky. Plus, in 2009 he won the San Francisco Weekly Mastermind Grant based partly on the trailer for Hell's Kittens, a campy exploitation flick.

His other features include another comedy, Berta, and the crime drama Owned, which was selected for inclusion in the New York Latino Film Festival, the San Francisco Latino Film Festival and the Action of Film Festival, in which it was first runner-up for Best Dramatic Feature and was nominated for Outstanding Cast Performance.

Long and the short of it? Dude's got chops, and now he's bringing them to The Asylum, only the second time he's worked with them: he edited last year's uber-awesome Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, and also played a nuclear tech in the film as well.

So do yourself a favor and check out the latest release from a master-in-the-making, Jose Montesinos, when Barely Legal drops on DVD this coming Tuesday.

inmate profile: Naomi Selfman

Continuing my pledge to spotlight the creative forces behind next week's release of the promisingly-raunchy Barely Legal, here's another inmate profile, though shrouded in a tad bit of mystery. Naomi Selfman, the scribe behind this impending laugh-riot, has written half a dozen films for The Asylum, yet there's virtually no information about her online. This picture is the best I could find, and I only found that when out of frustration I Googled "mystery woman." Could be that "Naomi Selfman" is a pen name for another writer, or it could be that Ms. Selfman is just a digitally private person? Either way, the only purported sighting of her is said to come in the making-of featurette for her first script for The Asylum, the horror film Evil Eyes, but I didn't have immediate access to that when I wrote this.

Whoever she is, Ms. Selfman has time and again illustrated her ability to work across genres - be it horror, comedy, sci-fi or creature features - and turn in compelling, convincing, empathetic and exciting stories every time out. 

After Evil Eyes, Ms. Selfman took a four-year hiatus from screenwriting before contributing the story for the Faith Films epic 2012: Doomsday. Since then, it's been full-steam ahead for Ms. Selfman, writing five scripts in two years: the other raucous sex comedies 18 Year-Old Virgin and #1 Cheerleader Camp, the two biggest creature features of the last year, Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus and Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, and of course, Barely Legal.



I've got a lot of favorites when it comes to The Asylum - that should be annoying obvious by now - and the work of Ms. Selfman is among them. As a writer (A Haunting in Salem, out 10/4/11), I'm envious of her versatility; as an Asylum freak, I'm excited every time her name pops up.

Get excited with me next Tuesday, when Barely Legal pops up on DVD.

inmate profile(s): the ladies of Barely Legal

In honor of the next Asylum release, the sexy comedy Barely Legal, on DVD July 26th, Committed turns its spotlight on the films three heroines, Jeneta St. Clair, Melissa Johnson and Lisa Younger.

 Jeneta St. Clair, "Cheryl" in the film, has only been working on film for a year or so, but already her IMDB dance card is booked full, with four other films currently in post-production, including Return of the Killer Shrews, a sequel of sort to the 1959 horror flick; John Schneider and Bruce Davison (Mega Fault, Titanic II) co-star.

Next up is Lisa Younger, aka "Lexi," another relative newcomer with a plethora of projects coming our way: Panman and Hide, both horror flicks, and the dramas Young Again and The Wrong Way.

And rounding out this nubile triumvirate of salacious hotties is Melissa Johnson, the film's "Sue," the most newcoming of these newcomers; Miss Johnson to date has only one other credit, though technically she was uncredited in it - the Robert Pattinson/Reece Witherspoon Depression-Circus hit(?) Water For Elephants, in which she was a Foxtrot Dancer.


So then, although there isn't a lot of information out there about the three actresses anchoring The Asylum's next sex comedy, I choose to view this an as opportunity to catch three rising starlets along their meteoric ascent to fame and fortune. Plus, I like to think unknowns make the best actors (or writers, directors, etc.) - they're the hungriest. Watch Misses Johnson, Younger and St. Clair satiate their appetites July 26th when Barely Legal drops on DVD.

outside the walls: July DVD Releases

I recognize that not all great films are made exclusively by The Asylum and that, in fact, there's a whole world of film outside these walls, some of which might actually interest Asylum fans - when they're not watching or re-watching Asylum films, of course. And, being as I'm only looking out for your viewing well-being, here's a peek at some other DVD releases this month which might satiate you between Asylum releases. But remember, as always, Sweet n' Low ain't sugar.

JULY 5th

13 Assassins

Bloodrayne: The Third Reich

Empire of Assassins

Eureka Season 4.0

Ferocious Planet

The Frankenstein Syndrome

Hobo With A Shotgun

Witchville










JULY 12th

Defcon 2012

Insidious

Maneater

[Rec2]










JULY 19th

House of the Rising Sun

Monster Wolf

The Reef











JULY 26th

Bio-Dead

Bodyguards & Assassins

Born to Ride

Barely Legal

ASYLUM!!!

  

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

Flesh Wounds

Ghost From the Machine

Goblin

Scream of the Banshee

Source Code

Turbulent Skies

Barely Legal Trailer Up Now!

With 2012 Ice Age out on DVD today, it's time to turn our attention to the next Asylum release, the sex-comedy Barely Legal, which drops at the end of this month. And as of now, over at The Asylum site, the first, scintillating trailer is up.
This one looks to be...well...sexy. See for yourself what I mean, then show up July 26 when all the naughty fun is yours to take home... 

Barely Legal Gets a Poster!

After Almighty Thor, then Ballistica, then 2012: Ice Age, The Asylum's next film will be the super sexy comedy Barely Legal, starring relative newcomers Jeneta St. Clair, Melissa Johnson and Lisa Younger, and directed by Jose Montesinos from a script by Naomi Selfman (#1 Cheerleader Camp, 18 Year-Old Virgin).

The film concerns three lifelong female BFFs (played by the above-mentioned triumvirate of hotties) who attempt to do the impossible: lose their virginity.

Anywho, this certain laugh-riot finally got its poster, and here it is:

 

Love that tag line. If you can't read it, it says: "Presents Aren't The Only Thing They're Unwrapping." I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but I think the other thing these scantily-clad women are meant to be unwrapping are prophylactics. If so, kudos: there's nothing sexier than being safe.

Find out if these three social misfits can pop their collective cherry this summer, July 26th, to be precise, when Barely Legal delights your DVD player.

And Just Like That...Barely Legal Stills

Lisa Younger, Melissa Johnson, Jeneta St. Clair in Barely Legal

I've been following The Asylum for quite a while now, and I'm never any less impressed or surprised at just how quickly they work. Take Barely Legal for example. Two weeks ago, we didn't know it existed; then when we did, all we knew was that it was being written by Naomi Selfman; then, only yesterday they revealed the cast and crew for the film; now TODAY they're reporting that production has wrapped and they're presenting us with the first bevy of still, available here. 

From the looks of things, this is one lively, colorful and thankfully-pool-set comedy. And from the looks of the cast, only three words come to mind: homina homina homina. The streets of California, apparently, are paved with nubile hotties; god bless America.

Barely Legal - about three female lifelong BFFs determined to each lose their virginity for their 18th birthdays - drops on DVD this July 26th, and on The Asylum's post to these stills there's a bit of advice at the end that I'll reproduce here, though I'm not yet sure what it means:

"Get out the peanut butter and Saran wrap."

Done and done.

Barely Legal Details Revealed

Younger

You'll remember a couple weeks ago the news broke that The Asylum had another sex comedy in the pipeline, but at the time it was announced, all that was known of the film was that is was written by the uber-talented Naomi Selfman (#1 Cheerleader Camp, MSvC, MPvG). Well, now over at the film's webpage, further details have at last been revealed.

St. Clair

Barely Legal will be the directorial feature debut of Jose Montesinos, an editor on MSvC, and will star newcomers Jeneta St. Clair, Lisa Younger and Melissa Johnson as the trio of lifelong BFFs determined to lose their virginity together (not together, but, you know, in the same time frame).

Johnson?

Barely Legal hits DVD on July 26th of this year.

observation notes: Evil Eyes

This film marks a pair of big debuts: not only is it the first film directed by Mark Atkins (Battle of Los Angeles, Haunting of Winchester House, Halloween Night, etc.), it is also the first film written by Naomi Selfman (Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, #1 Cheerleader Camp, upcoming Barely Legal). And as debut go, on both accounts, Evil Eyes is a good showcase of two burgeoning talents destined for B-movie greatness.

When a screenwriter (Adam Baldwin, "Firefly") is hired by an ominous producer (Udo Kier, Andy Warhol's Dracula and Frankenstein, Suspiria, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective) to write a film about a real-life slaughtered family, things get fer-reaky when the grisly murders he scripts begin to happen in the real world. 

I was surprised to find this film much more cerebral than I expected. That's not a slam or anything, I just expected a high-octane relentless assault of gore and violence, and what I got was a suspensefully-paced intellectual thriller with supernatural undertones.

Adam Baldwin as the screenwriter was his usual gruff, gritty, and unapologetically-independent self. And just as this attitude made him a formidable space mercenary, it is also an appropriate balance of brashness and swagger for a big-time Hollywood screenwriter (I don't actually know any to verify this, but I trust what the movies tell me about the people who make them.).

As for Udo Kier, what can I say about this true cinematic treasure that hasn't been said a million times before? I don't know what it is - his creepiness, his charm, his thick accent, the copious amounts of turtlenecks he wears - but there's something about this guy that  have always liked; he's like a European Steve Buscemi. Here he inhabits the role of producer as militantly fragile, commanding but not in command, if that makes any sense whatsoever. He might be a little stiff in scenes, but his mere presence makes a scene foreboding, so, mission accomplished.

Rounding out the cast is a Ms. Jennifer Gates as AB's long-time GF. This was Ms. Gates first film as well (and in fact one of only two features she's been in), but she never came across as a rookie to me, holding her own in scenes with the more accomplished actors. She played the part as diligently doting but never docile; she was sweet, demure, dangerously devoted and overall endearing.

In a nutshell, then, I found this one to be an great concept - a kind of In The Mouth of Madness Asylum-style - that builds its suspense well, is always thrilling while not resorting to the cheap and easy scares, and is definitely a smarter-than-average-axe-murderer-movie. The film is subtle, restrained and savvy, in script and direction. Add some truly inventive kills and well-developed characters and the result is an above-average thriller. If it was my studio, I would have given Atkins and Selfman copious work as well; these two are true All-Stars.

What else can I say? Let's see...there are shades, in my opinion, of Lost Highway, to the point the word "Lynchian" is even in the script, and it totally works in this surreal, cerebral, non-linear-yet-frightening-cohesive film. 

There are hidden gems in the Asylum's catalog, and I fell as though I may have just discovered the brightest one.

Interesting News From the SyFy Upfronts

So, the SyFy upfronts went down this week - the event where they announce all their upcoming programming - and while there's lots of interesting stuff here, the most interesting has to be under the heading of Saturday Original Movies, where they reveal not one but TWO new Asylum projects for the fall.

Project One: "Zombie Apocalypse (working title) -- October 2011 -- Months after a zombie plague has wiped out 90 percent of the American population, a small group of survivors fight their way cross-country to a rumored refuge on the island of Catalina" 

Project Two: "Bigfoot - 2012 -- 1970's pop culture icons Danny Bonaduce (The Partridge Family) and Barry Williams (The Brady Bunch) face off in the hunt for the legendary mountain creature."

Do I even need to mention how awesome both of these films sound? I mean, really, a freaking bigfoot movie with Greg Brady and Danny Partridge? If my soul has a tattoo, I'm pretty sure it's an image from this movie.


No pages or mentions of these over at The Asylum site for the moment, but I'm sure more information will be coming soon. With the recent announcement of Naomi Selfman's Barely Legal and info on Born Bad, the second half of the Asylum's year is starting to come into focus. And so far, it looks pretty awesome!