Asylum Should-Stars #13

Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles - spotlights on Asylum personnel - and I've done pitches - shameless attempts to get hired in marketing/development - but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum's stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?

Name: Keri Lynn Pratt


Best Known For: Cruel Intentions 2, The Smokers, A Single Man, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, various TV.


Usually Plays: straight-up good girls, naive beauties among treacherous, conniving others.


Could Be Cast As: for my money, Ms. Pratt is a sort of younger DeeDee Pfeiffer: beautiful, talented, sweet and sincere but with an underlying sassiness that needs to be brought to light. I see a brilliant but hare brained physicist, astronomer or geologist in her future.

Name: Michael Des Barres


Best Known For: playing MacGyver's nemesis Murdock, Sugar Town, "Melrose Place" and pretty much every show on network television in the 1980's; also a bitchin' rock star, in his day.


Usually Plays: with a mug like his, Des Barres typically inhabits the wealthy, megalomanical, evil-genius sort, or at least corrupt titans of industry.

Could Be Cast As: usually I like to suggest roles against the grain, but Des Barres is so good at what he does - being slickly, charmingly evil, that it would be a shame to change things up. There's a role for this guy in every Asylum movie, just plug him in and watch him go.

Name: Grace Zabriskie


Best Known For: "Twin Peaks," "Big Love," Wild at Heart, An Officer and a Gentleman

Usually Cast As: wiry older women, usually a bit crazy or malevolent, or both. No one does violently frazzled like Laura Palmer's mom.


Could Be Cast As: surely Mark Atkins has a fantasy epic planned in which she could play an aging queen or wicked sorceress. Or what about the backwoods mother of a serial killer, a kind of actual Mother Bates?

Asylum Should-Stars #12

Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles and I've done pitches, but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum's stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?

Name: Rachel Miner


Best Known For: Dani on "Californication," Meg on "Supernatural," Hide, Penny Dreadful, Bully, etc.


Plays: uber-vixens, the petite firecracker with a sass ten times her size, devious femme fatales who are often the smartest person in the room.


Could Be Cast As: the ringmaster of some nefarious organization/cult, the sinister agent of a clandestine government program, any of a variety of supernatural horrors - witches, demons, vampires, werewolves; anything but a mummy, really - or step outside the box and offer her a straight leading role, the scientist battling a strange cataclysm, the mother seeking protection for she and her children from a natural disaster or creature attack; pretty much name it, and she'd nail it.

Name: Jeremy Miller


Best Known For: dude, it's Ben Seaver from "Growing Pains"


Plays: pretty much Ben Seaver from "Growing Pains," but over the last handful of years he's been more active in taking small film roles. This guy's ripe for a giant squid movie.


Could Be Cast As: let's start with the giant squid movie - any small town hero at the heart of a in-your-face creature feature sound's right up Miller's alley. He's got that Greg Evigan, Colin Ferguson everyman thing going on, the kind of guy it's easy to root for.

Name: Cynthia Rothrock


Best Known For: being the late 80's/early 90's martial arts Queen, kicking mad ass in flicks like China O'Brien 1 & 2, Rage and Honor 1 & 2, Lady Dragon 1 & 2, Fast Getaway I & II, Martial Law 1 & 2 and Tiger Claws 1, 2 and 3; finally got that hat trick.

Plays: women with crazy martial arts skills; usually this involves being a cop or a teacher or some other noble profession, but, you know, a cop or teacher who can fight her way out of a packed dojo without messing up her hair.

Could Be Cast As: though she hasn't acted in seven or eight years, Ms. Rothrock is the perfect sort of cultural figure who would shine in a small, mentor-like role in a martial arts or action film. Seriously, someone should snatch her up now before Tarantino remembers she's out there.

Asylum Should-Stars #11

Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles and I've done pitches, but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum's stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?

Name: Danielle Harris


Best Known For: Halloween 4, 5 (original series), Halloween 1, 2 (new series), plus a slew of horror titles like Hatchet 1 & 2, Stake Land, Blood Night, Cyrus and Godkiller. Take note, gentlemen, this is our modern-era's indie scream-queen.


Plays: Literally everything - good girls, bad girls, powerful women, hapless victims, ass-kickers and cowering puddles of emotion. Girls' got crazy skills, all over the board.


Could Be Cast As: You got a female lead in pretty much any horror film that needs filling, Ms. Harris is your women. Added bonus: she's adept behind the lens as well. Her second directorial effort, Among Friends, is in production now.

Name: Alan Ruck


Best Known For: "Cameron" in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, "Stuart" in Spin City.


Plays: quirky intellectuals, smarmy authority figures, the frazzled.


Could Be Cast As: For Mr. Ruck, I'm picturing a kind of Nic Cage-Rock role, that is, a highly specialized scientist for a top-secret government organization who is forced to enter the field for the first time ever in order to prevent a cataclysm of one sort or another.

Name: Heather Langenkamp


Best Known For: I shouldn't have to write this, because you all know who she is, but just in case, she played "Nancy" in A Nightmare on Elm Street, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, and Wes Craven's New Nightmare.


Plays: "Nancy" is pretty much it, of note, unless you count Growing Pains spinoff Just the Ten of Us, which no one does. No one.


Could Be Cast As: I'm seeing a switch-up for Ms. Langenkamp, one of horror's most reviled victims; let's make her that ever-elusive female serial killer, somewhere pastoral, somewhere quaint where nothing is as it seems. After 30 years of being chased, I think she's earned a chance to turn the tables.

Asylum Should-Stars #10: TWILIGHT EDITION

That's right, for this tenth installment of my presumptuous and unsolicited recommendations of those actors I think should star in an Asylum movie, and in the wake of the success of the TV premiere of Born Bad, starring Twilighter Michael Welch, I've decided to dedicate this Should-Stars entirely to other Twilighters who should follow their talented co-star's lead and come play with the greatest studio around. Plus, I get to say Twilighter, which for some reason I like. I should warn you, however, that I've only seen the first of these movies, and only because I stayed at the Inn where they shot the prom scene and it was free in the room. That said, though, let's jump right in.

Name: Rachelle Lefevre

Twilight Role: "Victoria," but only in the first two films. This is the gal that overbooked her way out of the biggest franchise in recent Hollywood history. 

Also Known For: A lot of ill-fated TV including FOX's "Life on a Stick" - that shopping-mall-hot-dog-stand thing - CBS' "Swingtown" - the swinger show - and ABC's "What About Brian" - an attempt to capitalize on Barry Watson's "7th Heaven" fame, which, oddly enough, didn't actually exist. Her most recent gig, that "Lost" meets "Grey's Anatomy" show "Off the Map," was just canceled. Meaning she's available?

Best Suited For: perky scientist roles, plucky independent women whose beauty limits them, and thus they overcompensate intellectually and withhold themselves emotionally. That is, until the right man comes along...

Name: Jackson Rathbone


Twilight Role: "Jasper," which I think - based on some of the photos I saw upon Googling him - is one of the vampires. Dude looks like a vampire. Or at least his hair does.


Also Known For: S. Darko, The Last Airbender (aka the original Avatar) and a bunch of stuff even I have never heard of, meaning this guy's ready for a starring vehicle, but not ready enough for the A-list. Let The Asylum give him a boost!


Best Suited For: I'm seeing a gaunt and frenetic serial killer,or a good man struggling with an evil presence within himself, something that highlights how freaky this dude seems to be, and his manic hair.

Name: Ashley Greene


Twilight Role: "Alice Cullen," definitely a vampire. A very, very, very bewitching vampire. 


Also Known For: there's a lot on her IMDB profile, relatively speaking, but politely facing it, this is all she's known for. And being really very hot.


Best Suited For: being on camera. There are two ways to go here: one, the typical heroine, a scientist or sheriff or cop of some sort, or two, the femme fatale, the vixen with a pistol in her garter, the manipulative seductress with a violent secret.

Asylum Should-Stars #9

Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles - spotlights on Asylum personnel - and I've done pitches - shameless attempts to get hired in marketing/development - but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum's stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?

Name: Christy Carlson Romano


Best Known For: "Even Stevens," "Kim Possible," Wolvesbayne, Mirrors 2

Plays: girls-next-door, authoritative hotties, buxom victims.

Could Be Cast As: after definitively shedding her Disney-star image (and more) in Mirrors 2, CCR is primed for scream-queen status. I've always thought The Asylum needed a horror franchise, just a little three- or four-film paranormal bloodfest, and CCR would be the perfect Jamie Lee. But really, any late-20's heroine role that needs to be filled - a female Musketeer, a vacationing scientist who runs afoul a two-headed shark, a knight-ess templar - CCR could be your girl.

Name: Alex Winter


Best Known For: playing Bill S. Preston, Esq. in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Bogus Journey and the animated series; The Lost Boys, Freaked

Plays: dopey, fun-loving, gentle stoner types, but that was 20 years ago.

Could Be Cast As: at this point, it's a wide open field. i'd use him more in a Patrick Labyorteaux sense than a, say, Brian Krause sense, in that i'd make him the everyman caught up in catastrophe as opposed to the rugged, only-man-for-the-job authoritative type.

Name: Catherine Mary Stewart


Best Known For:  The Last Starfighter, Night of the Comet, Weekend at Bernie's

Plays: good girls flirting with going bad, fiercely independent types, playful and intelligent everywomen.

Could Be Cast As: the mother guarding a secret in a straight-up thriller, a maverick scientists whose controversial theories might just save the world from a massive creature/impending astronomical, environmental or climatological destruction, or a brash but brilliant military officer fending off alien invasion. CMS has that Debra Winger-versatility, that Sally Field-approachability, and that Mary Louise Parker

Asylum Should-Stars #8

Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles - spotlights on Asylum personnel - and I've done pitches - shameless attempts to get hired in marketing/development - but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum's stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?

Name: Lee Majors


Best Known For: "The Six Million Dollar Man," "The Fall Guy," Out Cold

Plays: Tough and gruff leading men, superhumanly stubborn plain-talkers with a dose of rural charm.

Could Be Cast As: Nowadays he could be the curt patriarch, or the old-school business tycoon/ government uppercrust. Give him a role as a high-ranking military commander in a sci-fi epic or creature feature, or flip it and give him a role as an esteemed fraternity elder or the hot chick's formidable father.

Name: Clare Carey


Best Known For: "Coach," "Weeds," Flu Bird Horror

Plays: Sexy/sassy girls next door, intelligent MILFS, sultry authority figures.

Could Be Cast As: Really any female lead; she's smart enough to play a scientist or doctor, coarse enough to play military, and hot enough to play the leading man's (capable) love interest/damsel in distress. Pick your genre with this lady: my instincts are should could handle all of it.

Name: Gabriel Macht


Best Known For: The Spirit

Plays:  Thus far kind of all over, but mostly your standard good-looking/troubled action hero: cops, vigilantes, etc.

Could Be Cast As: A whole range of rogue scientists/soldiers/small-town law enforcement facing unimaginable monsters/disasters/invading forced. This guy's a good actor who got shafted by the excesses of an unproven director and deserves a shot at B-movie legitimacy.

Asylum Should-Stars #7

Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles - spotlights on Asylum personnel - and I've done pitches - shameless attempts to get hired in marketing/development - but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum's stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?

Name:  Ryan Pinkston

Best Known For: FOX's short-lived "Quintuplets," Foreign Exchange, College, Extreme Movie

Plays: good-hearted smart-asses, street-smart pranksters, loveable losers who learn to triumph.

Could Be Cast As: the male lead in any sex comedy, obviously, but I think there's an untapped dramatic or at least action star in there somewhere. He's our Justin Long: his sarcasm and smarmy wit play well in comedies or as tension-breakers in more serious fare.

Name: Raven Symone


Best Known For: TV's cutest-ever sharkjumper, Olivia on "The Cosby Show," "That's So Raven" (which given the last Should-Stars, I've obviously seen more of than I should have) and "Cheetah Girls."


Plays: sassy, strong-willed, independent and simultaneously nurturing and kind-hearted heroines.


Could Be Cast As: Raven's another one I think would work great outside her typical context. Make her a seismologist or a volcanologist and watch the sparks fly.

Name: Misha Collins


Best Known For: Castiel on "Supernatural," Quantum Apocalypse, season on of "24"


Plays: the tortured-hero sort, the kind of brooding, introspective, driven and oddly athletic man the rest of us secretly resent.


Could Be Cast As: pick your leading role, Collins could fill it: he could be a doctor, a scientist, an average joe, a small-town sheriff, a corporate devil, a demon, you name it.

Asylum Should-Stars #6

Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles - spotlights on Asylum personnel - and I've done pitches - shameless attempts to get hired in marketing/development - but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum's stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?

Name: Maria Pitillo


Best Known For: Godzilla, Chaplin, "Providence," Dear God

Plays: beautifully-frazzled, charmingly-flawed, sweet-as-summertime leading ladies next door, crosses between the fun work of Audrey Hepburn and the restrained work of Lucille Ball.

Could Be Cast As: to her credit, Ms. Pitillo wasn't bad in Godzilla, the movie just, you now, sucked. I still think she's perfect for any female scientist in any sort of creature feature or sci-fi flick. Or maybe the beleaguered wife in a horror film, not a slasher flick, but something more classically-themed, perhaps...

Name: Jason Lewis


Best Known For: being the only man to tame the most ruthless cougar ever known, Kim Cattrall's "Samantha" on "Sex & the City," as well as the Mary Lambert film The Attic

Plays: rudely good-looking men. 

Could Be Cast As: a rudely good-looking small-tow sheriff, controversial paleontologist, outspoken big-game trapper, rogue environmental crusader, slick and evil suit or concerned father of a paranormally-influenced teen.

Name: Anneliese van der Pol


Best Known For: playing Raven-Symone's ditsy best friend on "That's So Raven!" Duh. Ooh, also, the upcoming "Shalom Sesame," which is, well, this.


Plays: good-hearted, genuinely sweet, slapstick-ish and well-meaning ditzes. 

Could Be Cast As: I say it's time we elevate Ms. van der Pol away from the kids stuff - she is 26, after all - and get her in a slasher flick, or a possession flick (at least the Anneliese part would have been true), a good, old-fashioned ghost story or something that has her outside her comfort zone. To me, she's got "Scream Queen" written all over her. In glitter.

Asylum Should-Stars #5

Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles - spotlights on Asylum personnel - and I've done pitches - shameless attempts to get hired in marketing/development - but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum's stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?

Name: Willa Ford


Best Known For: "Dancing With The Stars," Friday the 13th (remake), various issues of Maxim

Plays: really bad, kinda trashy, tough, irresponsible, and all-around evil, fun girls, and sultry, manipulative vixens (re: Impulse)


Could Be Cast As: a gun-toting stripper in an apocalypse film, a femme fatale in an action flick, a hard-as-nails space marine in a sci-fi epic, or a titillating scream queen in a horror movie.

Name: Play (from Kid N Play)


Best Known For: a successful rap career, an awesome dance, and the House Party franchise.

Plays: himself, mostly - a jovial, fun-loving ladies man with a penchant for flat-tops and smooth raps.


Could Be Cast As: anyone, really. War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave featured Play's former partner Christopher "Kid" Reid, so anything he'd be suited for, I'd imagine Play would be as well. Not that they're interchangeable, but their skill levels seem to be comparable, is all I'm saying. Throw him in a sci-fi flick as a flustered local, or as a business tycoon in an action flick, or even a meaty cameo in a comedy. In that instance, just make sure he does the dance.

Name: The Iron Sheik


Best Known For: wrestling, and instilling in a generation of American men an undying hatred for Iran, and probably the Middle East in general.


Plays: a real asshole, for the most part, pompous and confident, boisterous and overdosing on braggadocio. 


Could Be Cast As: duh, a terrorist (also my Charlie Sheen impression), or, possibly, a serial killer, the rapey kind.

Asylum Should-Stars #4

Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles - spotlights on Asylum personnel - and I've done pitches - shameless attempts to get hired in marketing/development - but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum's stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?

Name: William Zabka

Best Known For: The Karate Kid, Just One of The Guys, Back to School, National Lampoon's European Vacation

Plays: Pretty-boy jerks; bullies; over-athleticised heartthrobs, but all back in the day; nowadays he could be a rugged adventurer, a sleazy tycoon, or a concerned father-type.

Could Be Cast As: hey, if they got Martin Kove in Ballistica, surely there's some other political-action flick with a role for Zabka. Or perhaps a creature feature; guy's got experience from two Python movies. Whatever the role, he'd make a fine addition to The Asylum's stable of blonde leading men (re: Christopher Atkins, William Katt, Shane van Dyke)

Name: Jewel Staite


Best Known For: "Firefly," Serenity, "Stargate: Atlantis", SyFy Original Movie Mothman

Plays: sexier-than-hell tomboy-ish girls next door; doe-eyed innocents; damsels getting themselves out of distress.

Could Be Cast As: anything female. The love for Ms. Staite among sci-fi and specifically SyFy fans practically guarantees success once she's attached, no matter what the film's about. But for argument's sake, she could play the love interest/rival figure to any leading man in a disaster, sci-fi or creature flick. A terrorized vacationer in 2 Headed Shark Attack, perhaps, or as a robotics engineer in the as-yet-and-probably-won't-be-conceived Transmorphers 3: Wish You Here*

Name: Michael J. Anderson


Best Known For: "Twin Peaks," "Carnivale"


Plays: mysterious figures that at first frightens but ultimately seems to want to serve the forces of good


Could Be Cast As: a whole slew of supporting characters, from wizards or other such bewitched figures in a fantasy epic, to a caretaker/groundskeeper/local lore-keeper/ some other such oddly benevolent character seeking to warn newcomers of an ancient evil in a horror or creature flick, a mischievous old man in a family-friendly film. 








*check the name of the real film and then you might get my lame attempt at a humorous subtitle

Asylum Should-Stars #3

Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles - spotlights on Asylum personnel - and I've done pitches - shameless attempts to get hired in marketing/development - but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum's stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?

Name: David Charvet

Best Known For: "Baywatch," old-school "Melrose Place"

Plays: In the past, brooding heartthrobs with European affectations like romance and frosted tips. However, Mr. Charvet has recently returned to acting after a nearly-ten-year hiatus, so now a little older and wiser, the options are wide(r)-open.

Could Be Cast As: Any leading man in an action/disaster flick. As Mr. Charvet seems surprisingly mild-mannered and down to Earth, he might also do well in a message-movie of the sort Faith Films puts out. 

Name: Lindy Booth

Best Known For:'04 Dawn of the Dead, Cry Wolf, Wrong Turn, Category 7: End of the World

Plays: sultry, manipulative minxes; fiery, fiercely-independent go-getters, deceptively powerful beauties

Could Be Cast As: perhaps a single mother, forced to protect her child from unimaginable chaos brought about by an astronomical event/awakened leviathan/invading force; or perhaps a plucky scientist in a specialty field called to action when a giant ____________ terrorizes southern California. 

Name: Jack Scalia

Best Known For: Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep, Red Eye, Silent Predators, Casualties of Love: The Long Island Lolita Story

Plays: Ruthless businessmen, often Italian and mob-related; slick thugs, classy brutes, the kind of Brooks Brothers s.o.b. you don't want to mess with.

Could Be Cast As: less-than-honorable men of means; obsessed, resourceful hunters/scavengers/collectors; the ultimate mastermind behind any number of devious, world-dominating schemes. 

Asylum Should-Stars #2

Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles - spotlights on Asylum personnel - and I've done pitches - shameless attempts to get hired in marketing/development - but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum's stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?

NAME(s): Gary Riley (L) and Dean Cameron (R)

BEST KNOWN FOR: playing the horror-film-infatuated comedic duo "Chainsaw and Dave" in the 1987 Carl Reiner classic, Summer School.

PLAYS: I think the above sentence pretty much clarifies that, but to simplify: lovable geeks smarter than they perform and borderline-autistic in their focus.

COULD BE CAST AS: a pair of roadside attraction/amusement park/sketchy traveling carnival owners, or a pair of oddly homo-erotic serial killers, or even a highly-successful filmmaking team, Dave the writer and Chainsaw the director. Horror, Comedy

NAME: Kristen Miller

BEST KNOWN FOR: playing "Princess Stevenson" on "That's My Bush!", "D.D." on "She Spies," and as the voice of "Lisa" in Team America: World Police.

PLAYS: ditsy/naive good girls on the surface with a hidden well of strength, independence and sass. Think of her as DeeDee Pfeiffer but a dozen years younger (not that age matters, it's just a reference point).

COULD BE CAST AS: any leading female role in any sort of film. Ms. Miller has proven herself a capable action heroine, an identifiably beleaguered victim in horror films, and a sharp, endearing comedic ace, as well as being cute to a point of ridiculous sexiness. The only thing it seems she hasn't done is a sci-fi/disaster flick; ball's in your court, Asylum. Comedy, Horror, Action, Disaster, Sci-Fi, Family

NAME:  Kristine DeBell

BEST KNOWN FOR: being a Playboy centerfold, "Alice in Wonderland" adult entertainer, and the cutest chick in the funniest movie ever, Meatballs. 

PLAYS: good girls gone really, really bad; star-eyed nymphets; girls-next-door that make you want to never leave home.

COULD BE CAST AS: should The Asylum ever throw its hat into the summer-camp-comedy ring (which I think they should), Ms. DeBell would be the perfect cameo, much like the use of Charlene Tilton in #1 Cheerleader Camp. Otherwise, I have a feeling Ms. DeBell would suit any comedy just fine. And, as she hasn't worked since 1990, she's nice and primed for a career resurrection.  


There you have it. Thoughts? Disagreements? Suggestions?

Asylum Should-Stars

NEW COLUMN ALERT!

Here at Committed, I'm always looking for ways to prolong my love affair with Asylum blogging. I've done inmate profiles - spotlights on Asylum personnel - and I've done pitches - shameless and fruitless attempts to get hired in marketing/development - but now, I'm melding the best of these features into one, amalgamated, brand-spankin'-new column: the awkwardly-named Asylum Should-Stars, in which I present actors/actresses/other cultural figures I think would make lovely additions to the Asylum' stable of performers. More mindless fun to wile away your workday! Let's dive right in, shall we?

NAME: James Van Der Beek

BEST KNOWN FOR: the titular role on "Dawson's Creek," Varsity Blues, Rules of Attraction, Eye of the Beast

PLAYS: roguish clean-cuts, idealists, former athletes

COULD BE USED AS: the good-hearted hero skeptical of the establishment in a catastrophic sci-fi/disaster/Faith Films flick. Anything Brian Krause, John Schneider, Christopher Atkins or Greg Evigan can do, JVDB can do younger. For the time being. 

PJ Soles and some idiot, 2009.

NAME: PJ Soles

BEST KNOWN FOR: Stripes, Halloween, Carrie, Rock 'N' Roll High School, The Boy in the Plastic Bubble, Little Bigfoot

PLAYS: good girls gone just bad enough to still be lovable, sexy tomboys, smarter-than- you girlfriends

COULD BE USED AS: eccentric middle-aged neighbor, aunt, father's new girlfriend, or boarding school housemother in a raucous sex comedy.

NAME: Allen Iverson (if the guy will play basketball in Turkey, he'll make a Mega movie, trust me)

BEST KNOWN FOR: basketball, tattoos, rapping?

PLAYS: basketball, I said that, but with a hardass, smart-alec bravado rooted in a massive superiority complex. That kind of shit always films well.

COULD BE USED AS: a little-dialogue lead in a post-apocalyptic/sci-fi/sports-as-metaphor-for-freedom movie in the vein of Rollerball, Futuresport or Death Racers.


So what do you think? Complete waste of time or a fun little diversion? Let me have it.