Search This Blog

Showing posts with label Sarah Lieving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sarah Lieving. Show all posts

500 MPH STORM Out Today!

Out today from The Asylum, 500 MPH Storm, a hypercane-disaster flick from director Daniel Lusko and screenwriter Hank Woon, Jr. 


I watched this one myself over the weekend, and I have to say, it packs a punch. It also rocks a pretty great cast, headed by the always-excellent Casper Van Dien, as well as Asylum-mainstay Sarah Lieving, and Third Watch's Michael Beach. Lots of harrowing escapes from nature gone amok in this one, which makes for a thrilling 90 minutes.

So stop what you're doing and get the to a DVD/Blu-Ray dispensary and procure the latest treasure from the fine folks at The Asylum. Now. Go. Hurry!

500 MPH STORM Gets a RAD Poster!!!

The next disaster flick from The Asylum - 500 MPH Storm - isn't due to street for another month, but today we got ourselves a look at the poster for the windy shindig, and it's typically awesome. Behold:


What'd I tell you? My favorite part is the single car flying through the air off to the left. There's always one dolt who tries to out-drive the hypercane.

500 MPH Storm stars the one and only Casper Van Dien (Starship Troopers, Sleepy Hollow, Python), Michael Beach ( ER, Third Watch), and - yes Asylum fans - the inimitable Sarah Lieving, veteran of more Asylum films than any other actor living or deceased. This marks Ms. Lieving's 14th time in front of Asylum cameras, the last being, of course, 2011's Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus. So if for nothing else, respect demands you see this film at least three times. 

500 MPH Storm is directed by documentarian Daniel Lusko, and scripted by Hank Woon Jr., the pen behind another upcoming Asylum film, Age of Dinosaurs. 

We can expect a trailer in a few weeks or so to further whet our appetite, but after that we'll have to wait all the way until February 26th to see the whole thing.

inmate profile: Shane Van Dyke

You had to figure I'd be hyping the crap out of A Haunting in Salem during the week leading up to its DVD release next Tuesday, October 4th; it is, after all, my first produced script. But a story's one thing. Turning that story into a full-fledged, quite-literally-3D reality is a whole different thing altogether. And so, to start off Committed's coverage of all things A Haunting in Salem, we take a look at the film's captain, triple-threat Shane Van Dyke.

I say triple-threat because not only is Mr. Van Dyke the director behind a few of your favorite Asylum films - Paranormal Entity, 6 Guns and Titanic II - he's also the writer of a couple more - P.E., T2, Transmorphers: Fall of Man, The Day the Earth Stopped and Street Racer - as well as an accomplished actor: after a 17-episode stint on "Diagnosis: Murder" alongside his father, Barry Van Dyke (6 Guns), brother Carey Van Dyke (Mega Python vs. Gatoroid) and grandfather Dick Van Dyke (I don't have to tell you what Dick Van Dyke's from, you know damn well who he is), Shane graduated to the film world, picking up a few roles here and there, most notably in the rad two-part miniseries Shark Swarm, before running into the fine folks at The Asylum. Apparently it was love at first sight, because over the last three years they've worked side-by-side on some of the studio's biggest projects.

Outside The Asylum, Van Dyke has a role coming up in another shark film, Super Shark, alongside John Schneider and Asylum-Hall-of-Famer Sarah Lieving (Beast of Bray Road, Monster, 9/11 Commission Report, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, King of the Lost World etc etc etc). Super Shark, interestingly enough, is directed by the famed Fred Olen Ray, whose son, Christopher, directed Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, Almighty Thor and 2 Headed Shark Attack, due in January. I wrote that one too, off a story by Ed DeRuiter. But I digress...


Also on the horizon for Van Dyke, the release of The Sacred, a film he and brother Carey wrote that stars Jeff Fahey, Jenny O'Hara and the legendary Sid Haig.

So, as you can see, Shane Van Dyke is a hyper-motivated, multi-talented kinda dude. For my money, 6 Guns was one of the best of the year, and Titanic II was much, much smarter than I expected. I'm not alone on that last one, because Committed readers voted Shane Van Dyke Best Script for Titanic II in last year's first annual Looney Awards for Excellence in Asylum Films, presented by yours truly.

What does this mean for A Haunting in Salem? It means the film is in excellent, capable hands. Honestly, the first time they told me he was directing, the first word that popped into my head was, "jackpot" (after "holy shit," of course). If you haven't seen his other efforts, check them out now, especially Paranormal Entity; it'll give you a viscerally-excellent idea of just how scared he can get you.

MSvC on SyFy !!!

Just a reminder, my fellow faithfully-committed, that this Saturday night, August 20th, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus will be getting its World Television Premiere on SyFy at 9pm. That gives The Asylum yet another shot at claiming the SyFy Original Movie ratings record of 3.12 million viewers set by Lake Placid 2 a few years back. In recent years films have come close - Lake Placid 3 (directed by Asylum-alum Griff Furst) garnered 3 million viewers, Sharktopus brought in 2.5 last year, and Swamp Shark (also directed by Furst) was watched by 2.2 million viewers. 

So as you can see, creature features bring them in. Three of the four highest-rated SyFy original movies of the last year involve either sharks, or crocodiles. That fourth movie? Mega Python vs Gatoroid, which drew 2.35 million viewers. Add all this up and the only answer is that come Sunday morning, the ratings crown could very well be sitting on The Asylum's handsome head.

Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus was directed by Christopher Ray (Almighty Thor, currently shooting 2 Headed Shark Attack, off a script I wrote based on a story by Ed DeRuiter) and written by Naomi Selfman (Barely Legal, Mega Python vs Gatoroid), two of the best in The Asylum's stable, and stars the incomparable Jaleel White alongside Asylum-mainstay Sarah Lieving and the formidable Gary Stretch. And oh yeah, there's a Star Trek dude in it too, Robert Picardo.

So let's see...we got a shark, a crocodile - both massive - Jaleel White and a Trekkie? What more could SyFy fans possibly want? Tell everyone you know this is going down, Tweet this post, blog it, Facebook it, do whatever non-word verb goes with Google+ it - anything you can to get the word out and the people tuned in. This Saturday night, 9pm, SyFy, a great, fun, highly explosive flick, the stuff of B-movie gold, is gonna be all up on your television; don't miss it!

observation notes: The Beast of Bray Road

With all the cinematic attention vampires and zombies have gotten over the years, I've always been surprised that werewolves has never sparked the public interest. Sure, there are notables out there like Silver Bullet, Ginger Snaps, Dog Soldiers (you do not want to start a conversation with me about a certain Benicio Del Toro...project.), but contemplate this for a moment: before the Mormon-abstinence-telenovela that is Twilight burst onto the scene, the werewolf movie that most often came to mind for your average American under the age of 40 was Teen Wolf. Now I like Teen Wolf, a lot, I own the double-feature DVD with Teen Wolf Too, I even have a t-shirt like Stiles' that says "What Are You Looking at Dicknose," though truthfully that's more of an Always Sunny thing at this point, but I digress; the point is, there aren't a lot of great werewolf movies out there, and what there are are always low-budget. Hollywood should wake up, make a good old-fashioned werewolf pic, without setting it in a good old-fashioned era. Or making the werewolf some dreamy teenage boy. Or making the werewolves somehow subservient to vampires. Or painting them as pack animals. They are not. And they are not glamorous either, nor well-trained or pleased with their condition. Lycanthropy isn't a privilege, it's a curse. America's youth would do well to remember that.

Anyway, none of this has anything to do with The Beast of Bray Road, except that said film is indeed about a werewolf, a reportedly true one at that. Set in rural Wisconsin, the film starts as all good horror films should: with a pretty girl in a stalled car on a lonely stretch of road in the middle of the night. The requisite forest chase by a partially-seen snarling beast ensues. Screams, ripping flesh, and there's your beast - a cross between a werewolf, a bear and a critter - plus only half of the pretty lady. Bitchin' opening.

Well, this death sends a ripple of panic through the small town the lady hailed from, a bucolic hollow full of eccentric characters like tourism-hungry deputies, scandal-seeking budding bloggers, wanton floozies and all their customary small-town bullshit - remarkably like the setting and resulting feel of True Blood. I honestly caught a lot of similarities, despite this film being nearly six years old - all as seen through the eyes of a local sheriff (Jeff Denton), the standard-issue relocated big city cop with some brooding secrets.

Suspects are investigated but nothing pans out, and meanwhile the bodies keep coming, along with sightings from disreputable sources, leading the townsfolk to rather quickly and without much debate decide it must be the Beast of Bray Road. The scene where the legend was explained was my one problem with the script. I really don't like obvious exposition, and that's all this was. But it was mercifully brief, and truthfully the only (minor) flaw in what I thought was an otherwise great script. The other thing I had a problem with last night - the fact that the other law enforcement officers were actively and intentionally dropping the word "werewolf" to the press in order to drum up tourism - this morning I woke up really liking, I don't know why, it just strikes me the day after as pretty funny, and a believable adjustment to the crooked-cop scenario.

Anyway, from here it's basically cat and mouse: the beast kills, the cops get closer, and so on and so on until there's the final confrontation. As I'd like to keep this a relatively spoiler-free site - the point is to get you to watch the movies, after all - I'll just say that I thought I knew how it was ending, and when I figured out I was wrong, they dropped it on me before I could re-figure, another compliment to an excellent script.

So speaking of the script, it was written by the fantastic Leigh Scott, who also edited and directed the film. I've mentioned Mr. Scott here before, he's worked quite often with The Asylum (Frankenstein Reborn, The Hitchhiker, Transmorphers), and his newest film, The Witches of Oz, got a mention in this blog's first Outside the Walls entry. This was by far my favorite of his films to date. The script, as mentioned a few times, was excellent: it built suspense well, even with a full-reveal of the creature in the first five minutes, it scared you, made you laugh, and the characters - even the minor characters - felt fully fleshed out and were inhabited by capable actors at every turn. Denton (King of the Lost World, The 9/11 Commission Report) comes across as the beefy, jowly lovechild of Zack Braff and Dax Shepard and plays the role with the same sort of dry humor as those idiots, only more subtle, not out for amusement as much as he is diffusement, which isn't a word, but I think you get the gist. Other standouts include Sarah Lieving (the documentarian from Monster and E. Roby's oversexed sister in Pod People) as the sultry bartendress and love interest of Denton's Sheriff; Thomas Downey (Shapeshifter, Ballistica) as the Indiana-Jones-esque cryptozoologist; and Andy Lauer, best-known as "Charlie" on "Caroline in the City," as an abusive asshole.

Bottom line, this film was a lot of fun and a good scare, the result of an outstanding script and charged performances, and, of course, the sharp eye of Leigh Scott. It's my kind of werewolf movie.

This review is dedicated to the great state of Wisconsin.

these notes originally posted 9/25/2011

inmate profile: AnnaMaria Demara

As the release date for the next Asylum film, 200MPH, is fast approaching us (no pun intended), I thought it time for the next smattering of inmate profiles, all aimed at the creative talent behind this street-racing epic. First up, quite possibly the hottest thing Canada has ever produced, AnnaMaria Demara:



Hailing from the fine and lovely metropolis of Toronto, AnnaMaria by the grace of god and fate made her way to sunny California where the entertainment industry - having eyes and ears with which to sense greatness - has begun to warmly embrace her. After working for a few years for TV shows like "Jimmy Kimmel Live," "Deal or No Deal," "Nip/Tuck" and "Days of Our Lives," AnnaMaria has finally broken into films, and has several lead roles coming up in the course of the next year, including See How They Run with John Savage (Deer Hunter) and Havana Heat with Peta Wilson ("La Femme Nikita").

Ms. Demara in 200MPH

But the film we're here to talk about is 200MPH; in it AnnaMaria plays Claudia, the smokin'-hot love interest, I'm supposing, of the street-racing, heart-of-gold-bad-boy portrayed by Jaz Martin. I don't like to make crazy predictions (actually I do), but I'm having a "we-knew-her-when" moment here; given Ms. Demara's knock-em-dead, younger-Eva-Longoria looks, if she can act as well as she can pose, she's golden. And from what I've seen of her reel, she can act like crazy. Small surprise here, as The Asylum is typically right on when it comes to casting strong, sexy, smart female leads (Kim Little, Sarah Lieving, Erica Roby, Eliza Swenson, Kristen Quintrall etc. etc. etc.). 

Find out for sure Tuesday, April 26th, when 200MPH hits DVD, and here's hoping this is only the first of several films Ms. Demara will bestow upon we faithfully committed.


A list of where you can find Ms. Demara online:


website
vimeo (including 200MPH teaser and reels)
twitter

Lovely Ladies of The Asylum vol. 1

I'm not a fool, gentlemen. I know what brings you here, what lures you in, coaxes your hits, some of you at least. It isn't the snarky commentary, or the breaking news, the hard-hitting interviews or deep-digging profiles, no, it's not me at all, is it? I see the keywords from my Google hits, and I know a picture of a pretty lady brings in more readers than the phrase "observation notes." 

Not that I can blame you: The Asylum employs a score of attractive and - more importantly - capable, intelligent and talented actresses well worthy of your search engine adoration. So, to gives my readers something I know they want and would never ask for, I tastefully present a pictorial tribute to some of The Asylum's beautiful leading ladies. Enjoy.



 

Sarah Lieving

Mega Shark Vs. Crocosaurus
Airline Disaster
Invasion of the Pod People
The Apocalypse
The Hitchhiker
The 9/11 Commission Report
666: The Child
Dracula's Curse
King of the Lost World
The Beast of Bray Road
Frankenstein Reborn
War of the Worlds









Kristen Quintrall

Universal Soliders
Invasion of the Pod People
Transmorphers
The Apocalypse
Supercroc














Erica Roby 

Invasion of the Pod People
The Apocalypse
The Hitchhiker
Halloween Night
The 9/11 Commission Report
Dracula's Curse
Hillside Cannibals
Exorcism: The Possession of Gail Bowers








 

Noel Thurman
 Universal Soldiers
Transmorphers
Supercroc
The 9/11 Commission Report
Dracula's Curse
Exorcism: The Possession of Gail Bowers
The Beast of Bray Road 















Marie Westbrook

Titanic II
100 Million B.C.
Dracula's Curse
Hillside Cannibals














Lindsey McKeon

Airline Disaster
The Land That Time Forgot














And there you have it, six of the finest actresses kind enough to grace the screen in Asylum productions. And yes, gentlemen, that is a "vol. 1" in the headline, meaning there will certainly be future installments. And as for any women reading this blog - I know you're out there, ladies - don't worry, there will be a Gorgeous Gentlemen of The Asylum forthcoming as well; here at Committed, we're for equal-opportunity-ogling.  

Everybody Loves Sarah Lieving!


If there's a hotter celebrity on the planet right now, I don't want to hear about them because all of my interest is occupied following the many printed praises of The Asylum's most prolific actress, the talented and alluring Sarah Lieving. 

Yet another profile of the actress has surfaced online, this one by Josh Samford of Rogue Cinema. I was toying with the idea of trying to interview Ms. Lieving a month or so ago myself, but with all the exposure she's been getting of late (see below), I might want to wait until the heat dies down, if ever it does. Ms. Lieving looks to keep her publicity streak alive with the inevitable release of Fred Olen Ray's Super Shark, out later this year(?).

Check out the Rogue Cinema interview here, and for other recent Lieving press, check out the links below.

The Daily Reflector

Examiner

Moviehole

Pegasus News

Canton Daily Ledger

Post-Holiday Big News Catch-Up!

Man oh man, a lot has gone down over the last four or five days, too much to individually post it all, so I thought I'd run a catch-up of the more salient news items. Here we go:


First off, another Sarah Lieving interview hit the web on Thursday, this one coming from The Reflector in Greenville, North Carolina. Now, I'm a native-North Carolinian (now a west Coaster), and I know Greenville (home of the ECU Pirates) and I cannot for the life of me figure how they got this interview, but there it is, and pretty revealing, too. I especially like that in the web address for this is the phrase, "sci fi hottie." 

Ms. Lieving's been getting hella press this last month, and one can only hope this means she's on the verge of a mainstream breakthrough. Ms. Lieving's next chance at the spotlight comes with the release of Super Shark - that's right, another shark movie! - directed by MSvC-director Christopher Ray's father, Fred Olen Ray. Still waiting on a release date for that one.




Next, while the world is still reeling from the awesome creature feature that is Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, The Asylum and SyFy hit us with FOUR CLIPS (these courtesy of Geek Tyrant) from the upcoming Saturday Night Original Movie Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, starring, aside from the titular beasts, 80's mall-pop icons Tiffany and Debbie Gibson. Tiff looks hot and fiesty, and Debbie looks debonair and scrappy; should make for an awesome showdown.

The kid gloves come off Saturday, January 29th, at 9p.m on SyFy.





Then there were two announcements pertaining to Asylum films currently in production, specifically Princess and the Pony, the movie formerly known as 1st Furry Valentine, which finally got a trailer, and the upcoming Marvel-tie-in Almighty Thor, which revealed a slew of photos from the set, including all three principle actors - Cody Deal as Thor, Richard Freakin' Grieco as Loki and Kevin Nash as Odin - in costume. Though Thor's hammer seems - in these shots, at least - a little Bedrockian, Grieco looks awesome as a withered, deathly Loki. Almighty Thor drops on May 10th of next year.


Also, in last weeks Outside the Walls post in which I mentioned non-Asylum DVD releases for the month of December, I neglected to mention the release of a film that would most definitely be of interest to Asylum fans: Leigh Scott's Cyborg Conquest. Leigh Scott, as we all remember, directed eleven Asylum films - including King of the Lost World, The Beast of Bray Road, Transmorphers and 911 Commission Report - before striking out with his own production company. Cyborg Conquest is a kind of hybrid, narratively-speaking, of Death Proof and The Terminator, and is an intriguing, well-crafted and daringly-directed sci-fi/action flick with a dash of comedy and sex appeal. As is typical with any Leigh Scott film, there are a lot of familiar, often-used actors here, including Asylum veterans Eliza Swenson (Transmorphers, Dracula's Curse, Frankenstein Reborn), Kristen Quintrall (The Apocalypse, Universal Soliders)(who, of course, also edited this film), Dean Arevalo (The Hitchhiker, Freakshow) and uncredited cameos by Griff Furst (Transmorphers, director I Am Omega) and Rhett Giles (Legion of the Dead, The Apocalypse). All in all, Cyborg Conquest, aka Chrome Angels, is quite the exhilarating and entertaining romp. It's available on DVD now.




And finally, we can't forget perhaps the biggest news item of last week, the long-awaited announcement of the Nominees for the 1st Annual Looney Awards for Excellence in Asylum Films.Votes can be emailed to 2010Loonies@gmail.com  up until midnight PST on February 2nd, 2011. Close to 100 votes have already been counted, and there are a couple of interesting races already shaping up. Be sure to make your opinion heard and counted, and help us celebrate the great people who make The Asylum so gosh-darn entertaining. Vote once, but vote wise, and help get the word out!

and the nominees are: Announcing the 2010 Loonies!





The 2010 Looney Awards for Excellence in Asylum Films


If I could figure out how to get a sound file of a drum roll on here, this is where I'd put it, but I can't, so just imagine it...(drum roll)...COMMITTED is proud to announce the nominees for the 2010 Looney Awards, the first annual presentation for excellence in Asylum films.

That's right, I've come up with an awards presentation specific to Asylum productions; that's how much I love this stuff, and also how much disposable time I have, apparently. 

The deal is simple: below you will find nominees in eight categories from the twelve films released by The Asylum in the 2010 calendar year. All twelve films have been nominated for Best Feature, but from there the nominees dwindle, making the competitors truly the best of the best. The voting period will last for six weeks, giving you plenty of time to catch up on any films or performances you might have inadvertently missed, and will close on Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011, Groundhog Day. Winners will be announced right here two days later, on Friday the 4th, Marmot Day (I'm trying to get that one going). 

So email your votes to 2010Loonies@gmail.com and let your voice be heard, nay, counted! All these fine films are available on DVD for your screening purposes, and all can be acquired by a quick trip to The Asylum site. Vote once, but vote wise: winners will receive the undying admiration of we the committed, plus the worldwide esteem and jealous respect of their peers that comes with being a Looney-Award Winning Actor, Actress, Writer, Director, or Non-Human. Good luck to all of the nominees, and if any should want to lobby for themselves or on the behalf of a fellow nominee, feel free to shoot me an email and I'll gladly post it for the masses, unaltered.


So, drum roll on your laptops, folks, here are your 2010 Looney Award Nominees...



Best Feature 


Best Actor
Shane Van Dyke...Titanic II
Jaleel White...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Barry Bostwick...2010 Moby Dick
Paul Logan...Mega Piranha
Patrick Muldoon...The 7 Adventures of Sinbad
Barry Van Dyke...6 Guns
Ben Syder...Sherlock Holmes
Scott Valentine...Airline Disaster

   
Best Actress
Marie Westbrook...Titanic II
Sage Mears...6 Guns
Sarah Lieving...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Tiffany...Mega Piranha
Cooper Harris...Meteor Apocalypse
Meredith Baxter...Airline Disaster
Renee O'Connor...2010 Moby Dick
Erica Duke...#1 Cheerleader Camp

 

Best Supporting Actor
Gary Stretch...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Greg Evigan...6 Guns
Jude Gerard Prest...Mega Piranha
Gareth David-Lloyd...Sherlock Holmes
Geoff Meed...6 Guns
Bruce Davison...Titanic II

 

Best Supporting Actress
Lindsey McKeon...Airline Disaster
Charlene Tilton...#1 Cheerleader Camp
Kelly O'Leary...The 7 Adventures of Sinbad

Rachel Riley...8213 Gacy House
Brooke Burns...Titanic II
Claudia Christian...Meteor Apocalypse


Best Performance by a Non-Human
Mega Shark...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Crocosaurus...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Mega Piranha (collective)...Mega Piranha
Moby Dick...2010 Moby Dick
The Ghost of John Wayne Gacy...8213 Gacy House
Cyclops...The 7 Adventures of Sinbad
T-Rex...Sherlock Holmes
The Plane...Airline Disaster


Best Script
Geoff Meed...6 Guns
Naomi Selfman...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Shane Van Dyke...Titanic II
Paul Bales...Sherlock Holmes
Paul Bales...2010 Moby Dick
Victoria Dadi & Paul Sinor...Airline Disaster


Best Director
Christopher Ray...Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
Shane Van Dyke...Titanic II
Eric Forsberg...Mega Piranha
Shane Van Dyke...6 Guns
Rachel Lee Goldenberg...Sherlock Holmes
Trey Stokes...2010 Moby Dick
Anthony Fankhauser...8213 Gacy House


So there you have it. Obviously the big winners thus far are Mega Shark with 8 nominations and 6 Guns and Titanic II each garnering 7 nods. Individually, Shane Van Dyke is the man to beat, grabbing four noms for himself, 2 as a director, 1 for writing and 1 for acting. Also hitting for the cycle is The Asylum's Bo Jackson (determined to make that stick), Geoff Meed, who got a pair of nominations, 1 for writing and 1 for acting. The acting nod was tough because I wasn't sure for which role to give it - 6 Guns or Airline Disaster; he's great in both, but ultimately I went with the western, in which I thought he shone just a bit brighter. Screenwriter Paul Bales also nabs a pair of nominations within the same category, giving him a 33.3% shot at winning.

But how will it all play out? Who will walk away victorious? Who will walk away resolving to try even harder to win one next year? That's up to you, fair readers. Cast your ballot today and help us make history, help us present the 1st Annual Looney Awards for Excellence in Asylum Films!!!

Local Girl Makes Good: Sarah Lieving Interview in Hometown Paper

Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus star Sarah Lieving has been in the news a lot lately, specifically here, here and here. Well, not to be outdone, Ms. Lieving's hometown newspaper, the Canton Daily Ledger in Canton, Illinois, sat down with its most famous resident for a little chat on how proud she is to by an Illinoisian(?), as well as some dish on her favorite roles, including a certain werewolf film produced by a certain independent studio that just happens to be one of my favorite films by this certain company, and one of the more popular observation notes on this very blog. 

Decode my inanely cryptic build-up right here  .

observation notes: Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus

A lot of people seem to question or even doubt my unwavering love of The Asylum, thinking perhaps I do this with my tongue-in-cheek; I do not, and I shit you not, I have been waiting for this moment since the first crude picture of the Mega Shark vs. Gigantosaurus poster made the rounds following this year's Cannes Festival: the moment I press play on Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus. No build up can do this justice, so let's just get right into it. 

The film opens in a beautiful, remote jungle in the interior of the Congo, where a shady coal mining operation is interrupted by the awakening of a massive, massive fucking crocodile-thing, big enough to make Supercroc look like an asshole.

Cut to a battleship, the USS Gibson - nice - where Jaleel White, portraying the Navy's "shark guy," in title an "aqua acoustical engineer," is summoned by his Captain (Mike Gaglio) to examine strange heat projections picked up by their equipment. The Captain thinks it's a pod of whales, but Jaleel disagrees, says it's too big, and the signature is uniquely shark. The Captain angrily dismisses this, accusing Jaleel of holding on too tight to his theory that the Mega Shark is still alive, which Jaleel himself confirms by restating his point that no carcass was found, nor was there any visual confirmation of the Mega Shark's death. The Captain shoos him away, but Jaleel is more convinced than ever that the Mega Shark is alive and out there somewhere just waiting to strike again. It doesn't wait long, however, as about two minutes later it belly flops onto the deck of the battleship. Awesome to see you again, Mega Shark.

In the course of the ensuing chaos, someone important to Jaleel is killed, making his interest in Mega Shark now more than intellectual, it's personal. That's right: this time it's personal.

Back in the Congo we're introduced to Nigel Putnam (Gary Stretch), a dashing, adventurous, mecenary cryptozoological trapper. He's approached by a representative of the mining corporation and asked to capture the creature responsible for the deaths of 34 of their men, which we know is the Crocosaurus. As the price is right, he naturally accepts. 

Now, I made a promise earlier this week to try and stay as spoiler-free as possible, and I really want to do so here as I believe everyone in the world should see this for themselves, so I'll cease with the plot description for now but to say, by way pf praising Naomi Selfman's script, that how these creatures come together and what happens when they do is nothing short of inventive, plausible for the world in which they exist, and pretty fucking fun to watch, more fun, I have no problem saying, than even its predecessor, and you guys know how much I love the first one. Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus's script trades scientific explanations for adventurous hunts, pitting men with personal commitments to capture/destruction against these mega monsters, as opposed to scientists who chance upon the creatures and clean up the mess. This makes for a more engaging story that flows better than the first, which at times felt interrupted for exposition. Overall, this film is a perfect progression from the first, more confident in its world and therefore more at ease in its narrative; there's less halting, instead just a constant stream of mega-awesomeness.

In addition to Naomi Selfman's script, this progression is made possible thanks to stirring performances from all of its leads. Now, as much as I love the first film, we all know the acting was not its strongest suit. Here, however, the roles are better cast and everybody's on top of their game. The two male leads, Jaleel White ("Family Matters") and Gary Stretch (Alexader), are perfect counterpoints to each other, seemingly different sorts with similar agendas and inspirations. White comes off calm and confident, suave, while alternately intense and brooding. He shows a real penchant for action movies here, and could have a future in the genre. He isn't hard-looking enough, in the face, I mean, to pull of roles like those taken by the likes of Wesley Snipes or Arnold, but he'd make an awesome Bruce Willis-style of hero, and I think that's better. Plus, he's got a great running scream. Stretch is perfect in his role, elegantly coarse and rough-and-tumble believeable, abrasive as a means to his ends but underneath a good man with a great mind. He too should show up in many, many more action films. 

This film also marks the return of Sarah Lieving (The Beast of Bray Road, The Hitchhiker, Invasion of the Pod People) to a billed role in an Asylum film for the first time in four years, and when she comes back, man does she come back. She plays a special agent who's badass and belittling, cold and spare, an efficient employee, terse and effortlessly capable. It's almost like an evolution of her character from The 9/11 Commission Report, here honed into a sharper weapon, more acerbic in her confidence, in turn making her much more potent a character.

And of course there's Robert Picardo ("Star Trek: Voyager") as the admiral in charge of coordinating the hunts, seemingly in a hardass contest with Lieving; we'll call it a draw. He commands a bridge like he's been thinking about it a while. Asylum regular Mike Gaglio also shines as the gruff, disbelieving Captain.


As for the FX, they too top those of the first: they're sharper, more complete - instead of snippets and blurred close-ups we get many, many, awesome full-body shots of both creatures, not too mention battleships, helicopters, submarines and missiles. The battle/rampage scenes are deftly directed by Christopher Ray and are among the best - if not the best - in The Asylum's catalogue. Be it in the ocean, in the air or even on land, the chaos and destruction these two creatures unleash is legendary, and looks the part. The last forty-five minutes of this thing are just one skirmish after another - shark alone, croc alone, shark vs croc - that culminates in a truly spectacular climax well-deserving of the surging symphonic score that accompanies it. And the end? Well...I'll just say there's a certain image - you'll know it when you see it - that I want tattooed on my back. My whole back.


Oh, and for those of you wondering if there's a scene to top that from the first film of the shark snatching the plane from the sky? No spoilers, remember? But yes. And yes and yes and yes.


So, in short, this was worth every second I waited for it. As much as I enjoy, nay, love the first film, this one is just smarter, better-made, much better-performed, and more thrilling. If you enjoyed the first one, you won't be able to help but love this one. In fact, I'm gonna go ahead and place it in a category with Godfather II - that's right, I said it, Godfather II; bring it - as being a highly-anticapted sequel that surpasses the accomplishments of the original film. 


So there. Add it to your Netflix cues and whatnot to enjoy it this Tuesday, December 21st.

observation notes: The Apocalypse

Another from The Asylum's Faith Films subdivision, and one of three religious-based global-catastrophe spectacles - along with Meteor Apocalypse and 2012: Doomsday - The Apocalypse is, generally speaking, the story of one family's attempt to survive - physically and spiritually - the widespread chaos referenced by the title. And be certain, "apocalypse" here isn't some catch-all, rote end-of-the-world scenario; it's the full-on, soul-shattering brouhaha that makes Revelations easily the most popular book in the Bible.

Our film opens with a group of campers - among them cameos by Sarah Lieving and Leigh Scott - enjoying campfire conversation beneath a sky beautifully streaked with shooting stars. By "shooting stars," of course, I mean "meteorites," one of them fuc-, sorry, bleeping huge and heralded by a barrage of smaller projectiles that fall from the sky and rip this bucolic scene and its inhabitants to shreds. Thus the apocalypse begins.

Cut to a rugged park ranger (Rhett Giles) on the scene of a massive housefire. While he and his partner are stumped, we know it was a rain of hot rocks from the sky that torched the home. Soon enough they'll know it too: on the drive back to town, they discover said town has been eradicated, turned into a mass of molten rubble, courtesy of the heavens. Panicked now, it is revealed that RG has a daughter (Kristen Quintrall) he hasn't spoken to in quite a while living in Los Angeles; when the end is finally nigh, grudges and bygones are the first things to go.


Cut to said daughter, playfully frolicking with her boyfriend (Tom Nagel) while the world outside, unbeknown to them, is going to utter shit....sorry..."crap." This blissfully ignorant moment soon passes, however, when a roommate of the daughter (she has three, one of whom, not this one, is played by Erica Roby) calls them out to witness news footage of the widespread damage. The daughter freaks because the epicenter of the damage, Big Sur, is near where her mom, RG's ex (Jill Stapely), now resides. She's ready to run out the door into the heart of the devastation when a convenient phonecall comes from her mom: she's okay, she's coming to L.A., stay put til she gets there. It's at this point, maybe thirteen minutes in, that we get the first direct reference to God, made by another of the daughter's roommates, (still not Roby, but Shaley Scott, who may be related to Leigh Scott, as all four films she's acted in have been his) in reference to the entity with whom those lost in the day's holocaust now reside. This opinion is quickly shot down by the daughter, who seems a little too defensive to be idly philosophizing. But more on this to come.


Back to RG, who's watching the news, trying to get some idea of what's going on where. There's no big scientific explanation here, no scenes full of techno-garble, only raw data: a massive meteorite has shattered nearby and its shards are battering the planet, not just in California but everywhere in the country, in the world. At this point the Ex pops in on her way to see the daughter, finds RG and his partner amidst these startling discoveries. Well, she's got one more for them: this isn't going to be the only barrage, there's another meteorite coming, bigger, "the size of Texas" (aren' t they always?) and thus much more destructive, "an extinction starter." Call it what you will, use as many colorful nicknames as you can, but make no bones about it: the world is ending, real quickly, too, so the Ex demands that RG puts his bullshit - dammit, dam- "malarkey" behind him and accompany her to see their daughter before it's too late. While RG is pensively mulling this over, his partner makes the decision for him, saying that he is leaving them to reunite with his estranged father. Somehow this is the final straw that snaps the camel's back of RG's hesitance, and he realizes that it's all real, that it's really happening - the end. Make your peace and smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Meanwhile, in L.A., the daughter further ups the religious content by taking her boyfriend to a nearby church, understandably overrun with the frightened faithful. Contrary to what I was expecting - any time someone bothers to make an overtly Christian film, I naturally expect a fair amount of persuasion - this scene is very non-judgmental, non-dogmatic, and instead of painting the Christian faith as a self-righteous, all-powerful judging force, it is depicted as being a communal spirit of comfort, something the faithful make to support each other, the best, truthfully, one can hope organized religion to be: flexible to the needs of its flock while providing a constant base of faith and hope for salvation, physical or spiritual. At least, this how I see the daughter sees it. The boyfriend, on the other hand, is still skeptical, pointing to the perspective of most contemporary young folk that it isn't particularly fashionable or "groovy" to be a practicing Christian. Ultimately, however, it seems this line of passive questioning has only been inserted to make the point to any watching youths with their own doubts that such things are necessary, and in fact planted by God to test our faith, and therefore are further, stronger proof of his existence. I think. Religious rhetoric, perhaps purposely, confuses me. They (the producers) are embracing the youth's ambiguous stance toward faith and turning it to faith's advantage, is what I mean, is what I think they mean. Or maybe I'm just analyzing out of my ass - sorry, "rear-end," parting seas inside puddles. Either way, on with the mayhem, which kicks into high gear here.

RG and the Ex are on the road to L.A. and their daughter, racing a mega meteor hell-bent on sending them all to heaven. This is when the actual Rapture begins. The Actual Rapture, people disappearing and stuff. From here the film becomes a battle between faith and tragedy, both overwhelming, and what The End means to each individual character - the regretful father, the faithful ex, the headstrong, independent daughter and fearful boyfriend - and how they rectify their lives in the face of certain death. Spoilers beyond, so I relent.

 Overall, I found this film to be powerful, chilling and painfully realistic in its depiction of modern society's reaction to such a cataclysm: the chaos that compiles into anarchy, the muddle of fear and faith and hope and despondency and love that would naturally accompany total global annihilation is present and palpable here, thanks to wonderful FX - decapitation by meteorite, dudes melting in lava, waterspouts, tornadoes, mass structural damage and explosions galore, all courtesy of Tiny Juggernaut - that were pretty brutal for a Christian film, a string-based soundtrack (that was the highlight of pretty splotchy sound editing, especially when it came to vocals vs. explosions) that eerily set the mood between dismal and righteous, and a taut script from David Michael Latt and Carlos de los Rios that is both powerful and provocative, religious without being overbearing, and presents logical questions I think most of us - regardless of religious background, if any - would ask ourselves in the face of certain, inescapable oblivion. And of course, all these elements are brought together and anchored into a cohesive story by the intense, claustrophobic - I mean that as a compliment - direction of Justin Jones (Invasion of the Pod People) and the startlingly authentic performances by the trio of actors that seem entirely submerged - mentally, emotionally, spiritually - in the final moments of all our lives. Rhett Giles (Frankenstein Reborn, Way of the Vampire) plays his regretful park ranger as skeptically concerned, viciously brooding, and the tense center of the film. As a contrast, Jill Stapely (nothing else of note) inhabits the role of his ex-wife with ruthless faith, making her the spiritual anchor of the film, the unwavering light. 

But the most powerful performance of a powerfully-performed film - one of the best-acted in The Asylum's filmography, I dare say - belongs to Kristen Quintrall, who, as the wavering candleflame between her parents' viewpoints, the balance between their beliefs, raised faithful but with independent questions of her own, serves to represent the rest of us, those of us lacking the certainty of either philosophical extreme and who would find ourselves in the face of such a trauma just plain scared. Quintrall is an emotional juggernaut in this film, showcasing some big-time chops that could make her a veritable star in the genre. Plus, oh yeah, she edited the film too, pretty well, I'll point out. So, yeah, what did you do today?


All in all, while I typically don't go in for the rhetoric of these things - I was raised religious in the rural South, so I've had a good helping of all that stuff and find myself, well, stuffed - I still found this to be an engaging, exciting, thought-provoking and eerily resonant film. 

And I got through this whole post without an R.E.M. quip. It might not sound like much to you, but I'm proud of myself.

Check Out This Audio Interview (not mine) w/ The Mega Popular Sarah Lieving




The single-most frequent contributing actor at The Asylum has yet another interview online this weekend, over at Pegasus News, based out of the Dallas-Fort Worth area. 

Nice new info here, a little more into Ms. Lieving's life before she entered The Asylum and thus our collective heart.

Ms. Lieving can next be seen, of course, on December 21st of this year with the release of Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, and then shortly thereafter in the similarly-themed, and -titled, Super Shark.

inmate profile: Gary Stretch

In order to properly preface the year's most hotly-anticipated sequel - Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, of course - I'm going to be posting more profiles than normal over the next few weeks to help get us all up to date on the creative forces behind this impending classic. Already in the virtual pages of this blog I've profiled actress Sarah Lieving and director Christopher Ray; if you don't know who the uber-talented Jaleel White is, I pity you, and I figure there are enough Trekkies in my readership that Robert Picardo of "Voyager"-fame needs no introduction, as well. But there's a dark horse in the cast I think bears closer examination, one Gary Stretch.

Bear with me a moment and consider something: Jason Statham. British, classically handsome, fit, fierce and simultaneously debonair, a dapper gangster with a steely attitude to match his fists, a grace in persona comparable only to his fluid mayhem. What could be cooler than Jason Statham? How about Gary fucking Stretch, who's all those things, plus, instead of being just an unfairly handsome British model, he also happens to be the glamour boy of early 90's British boxing. Yup, a for-real boxer.

A one-time light-middleweight champ, Stretch's one-two punch of personality and good lucks made him a staple in the British tabloids in his heyday, a popularity that helped pave the way for the inevitable transition into acting.

But before you start drawing comparisons to Stone Cold Steve Austin, John Cena or other muscular athletes who have tread the boards, Stretch is the real deal, often turning in impassioned, gritty performances that have earned him acclaim and accolades aplenty, including a British Independent Film Award nomination for his role alongside Paddy Considine in the 2004 thriller Dead Man's Shoes. It's performances such as that one which have kept Stretch's career on a steady ascent over the last few years, catching the eye of major Hollywood players including writer/director/firestarter Oliver Stone, who has used Mr. Stretch in two of his films, Alexander and World Trade Center.

In MSvC, Stretch plays a character named Nigel Putnam, who, based on what little I can deduce from the trailer, is some sort of giant crocodile expert, or at the least some sort of outdoorsy foreigner who first encounters Crocosaurus. Whatever he is, you can bet Stretch brings some smoldering intensity to the screen, and a bitchin' beard that kind of makes him look like a younger Lapidus from "Lost," or a scarier Pierce Brosnan in Seraphim Falls. 

So there you have it, the second-billed star in MSvC now revealed. Check out Gary's chops this December 21st when the films is released on DVD. Add it to your Netflix cues now!

Oh, and Mr Stretch? Consider yourself saluted.

It's Here! It's Here! It's Here! Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus Trailer!!!




At long last, the moment we've all been anxiously awaiting has arrived, the year's most eagerly anticipated trailer is finally here: Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus. From the looks of things, this has the potential to be the Best...Asylum...Film...EVER The film itself drops on December 21st, but until then, watch this over and over and over, and help make it, like its predecessor, one of the most Googled trailers of the year!