Out this Tuesday from The Asylum, the supernatural thriller 12/12/12, from writer/director and Committed-fave Jared Cohn (Born Bad, Bikini Spring Break, Hold Your Breath). The film stars Sara Malakul Lane (the lovely lady scientist in Sharktopus), Jesus Guevara (Santiago, upcoming 40 Sundays), Carl Donelson (Born Bad), and Steve Hanks (Hold Your Breath, Super Cyclone), as well as Asylum regulars Jon Kondelik (Amityville Haunting, American Warships, 40 Days and Nights, Haunting of Whaley House, Nazis at the Center of the Earth etc.), Samantha Stewart (Bikini Spring Break), Erin O'Brien (Bikini Spring Break), Samuel Fisher (Nazis at the Center of the Earth),
and even Cohn himself (Halloween Night, Legion of the Dead, Way of the Vampire, Alien Abduction) as, appropriately, "Jared."
The film - not a sequel to last year's supernatural thriller 11/11/11 - concerns a not-so-innocent baby boy, Sebastian, who after his birth on the twelfth day of the twelfth month of the twelfth year of the twenty-first century, begins affecting those around him in a pretty lethal way. Soon enough, mom Veronica (Lane) comes to the only conclusion she can: lil Sebastian is a bona fide hellspawn, and the shit hasn't even begun to hit the fan.
In the interest of keeping this spoiler-free - the point's to get you to see it, after all - I'll spare you the various twists and turns of this fast-paced, thrill-a-minute fright-fest, but to say that this one holds nothing back, starting from frame one: there's gore, nudity, enough swearing to make a sailor blush, and rampant violence to keep you watching through your fingers.
Ms. Lane was my favorite part of Sharktopus - which overall I thought was weighed down by too much scientific mumbo jumbo - and the love affair continues. Girl's got mad scream-queen potential, as her work here affirms. It was my first time seeing Mr. Donelson as husband Carlos, and he brought the requisite macho concern as a father WAY out of his league.
Cohn has once again delivered a taut, twisting, barrage of thrills sure to hack at Asylum fans' horror bones. His direction adds darkness to an already pitch-black story, and his intimacy with the acts of violence throughout submerge viewers into the Hell he is unleashing on-screen. The film has a very urban-gothic feel, a sinister, ironic claustrophobia that really elevates the tension and suspense.
A little bit Omen, a little bit Rosemary's Baby, a tad of The Beast Within, and a whole lot of nail-biting originality makes 12/12/12 a post-Halloween horror treat genre fans should enjoy. It's out this Tuesday, December 4th, on DVD, Blu-Ray, and VOD.
There would be some who might say the spring break movie is a well-trod and well-mined sub-genre of teen sex comedies, and that nothing new can be found there. To those people may I direct you to The Asylum's Bikini Spring Break, on DVD now, which manages to not only breathe new life into the category, but also manages a few new tricks along the way.
First things first, the plot: "A group of coeds from a small conservative
college break out of their shells when their marching band bus breaks
down in Ft. Lauderdale during Spring Break."
Simple enough, right? The best things in life are. Now, in the interest of remaining spoiler-free, I won't delve into plot specifics, other than to say BSB hits all the right notes. You have to wait perhaps 2.7 seconds for the first wave of nudity, which I believe might be a new Asylum record. Already things are off to a stellar start.
The film is laced with inventive gags that reaffirm everything society prays is true about buxom college girls: they love to be naked, especially in the company of each other, and are itching for sexual experimentation. There's a real 80's sex-comedy vibe running through this, updated for today's raunchier standards, and it helps to create an endearing cast of characters you don't just want to see naked, you also want to see them triumph. BSB is like an actually-good American Pie sequel, or Revenge of the Nerds 2: Nerds in Paradise with female main characters (which, all apologies to the excellent Robert Carradine, woulda been cooler). And it has perhaps the greatest jello wrestling scene in all of cinema, shot in stunning slo-mo that reveals the beauty within the brutality of it all.
As for that endearing cast of characters, while all of the women are near-perfect for their roles - Samantha Stewart as the bossy, neurotic, hotter "Jessie-Spano" type "Whitney," Virginia Petrucci as the doe-eyed and bawdily naive "Zoe," Jamie Noel as spoiled-princess type "Franny" (nice Salinger nod), Erin O'Brien as the abrupt and gruff "Michelle" and Rachel Alig as blissfully daft, sweet-as-sugar "Alice" - it's Alig, for me at least, that really stood out; it's a funny role and she's funny in it, admittedly funnier than I was expecting. Other standouts in supporting roles include Erica Duke as the anti-spring break good girl "Constance" and Johnathan Nation as the pitch-perfect exasperated dean of the girls' community college. There's also a handsome mechanic to watch out for.
All in all then, writer/director Jared Cohn has turned in another fine effort: BSB is smarter than your average sex comedy, its tongue firmly in cheek, ripe with loveable characters and rife with scintillating scenarios that will keep fans of the genre - and of beautiful women - more than transfixed. Utterly rewatchable. Who knows, maybe this could become The Asylum's first comedy franchise? I'd watch six more of these.
Bikini Spring Break is on DVD right this instant. Go get it.
With less than a week before the release of The Asylum's next sexy romp, Bikini Spring Break from writer/director Jared Cohn, it's time, I think, to shine the Committed spotlight on the lovely and talented women that make up the cast, and the work that brought them here.
Let's go from left to right, shall we?
Erin O'Brien - Revenants (alongside an acting Jared Cohn, and the upcoming comedies Mamarosh, and Chlorine, co-starring Kyra Sedgwick, Vincent D'Onofrio, and Tom Sizemore.
Jamie Noel: uncredited roles in Hangover 2 and J. Edgar, then lots of upcoming stuff including Speed Dragon with Ron Jeremy and Bai Ling, Seven Psychopaths with Woody Harrelson, Colin Farrell, Sam Rockwell, Christopher Walken and Tom Waits, and Smart Ass from writer/star Marlon Wayans.
Samantha Stewart: one episode of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, easily one of the most-awesome reinactment-reality shows on television.
Rachel Alig: a slew of upcoming films, including The Men Next Door, Officer Down, Heavy Makeup, Unlimited and Ask Me No Questions
Virginia Petrucci: The Best and the Brightest with Neil Patrick Harris and Amy Sedaris, Life at the Resort, Excision with AnnaLynne McCord, John Waters and Malcolm McDowell, as well as the upcoming films The Humdrummer and The Algerian.
