observation notes: Meteor Apocalypse

Another in the Faith Films line, this apocalyptic disaster epic concerns a meteor of truly ginormous proportions headed right for Earth. Though we try to annihilate the problem by throwing all our nukes at it, this predictably only makes things worse, turning what was one massive meteor into thousands of splintered shards that rain down upon cities worldwide, beginning a wave of destruction that can only be described as "Biblical." When our hero's ("Dr. Quinn's" Joe Lando) family is herded away to quarantine by government agents, thus begins his quest within the chaos to find them. He is joined along the way by a beautiful and headstrong accomplice (the lovely and talented and Looney-nominated, here, Cooper Harris).

One thing I liked about this film right off the bat was where it began; what's typically act 3 for most meteor films - our last-ditch effort to destroy/deflect the meteor - was the launching point for this one. What follows is the real drama, how we deal with inescapable chaos. And in truth, this new situation is worse: a single, giant meteor would have wiped out all life on the planet, no questions asked; but now, like this, the planet will survive, civilizations will be decimated, yes, but life will go on for a good percentage of the population. The game then becomes to make it into that percentage, which is a far more unsettling premise than everyone being resigned to the same fate. All this is just to say Meteor Apocalypse opens tense and never lets up. It's a relentless drama and a thrilling tale of survival, determination and faith.

Joe Lando as the scientist/concerned father is a believably-gruff skeptic in the beginning, making his transformation to capable coper over the course of the film that much more hard-won and convincing. Third-billed Cooper Harris is the clear standout here: likable, relatable, and the most palpable of the characters. You feel her distress, her resolve. There's a natural ease to her performance which endears her to the audience. That, and her hotness. Audiences like hot ladies (picture a super hot, much younger Tina Fey).

Claudia Christian "Babylon 5" also stars as Lando's wife, and plays the role as a cold nag. She's not around all that much, but when she is, she works.

Overall, I found Meteor Apocalypse - written by Brian Brinkman & Micho Rutare, and directed by Rutare (writer of Dragonquest and Asylum Director of Development) - a smart film in that it's not just a straight-up astronomical disaster movie - though as one it's highly successful; the FX are awesome at depicting widespread heavenly chaos and metropolitan destruction - there's a medical-thriller aspect to this one as well, another sort of inevitable and randomly-selective killer that just throws another level of tension on the pile.

And as I've found with other entries to the Faith Films line - Countdown: Jerusalem, 2012 Doomsday, The Apocalypse - the message might be Christian, but it isn't overwhelmingly so; you want to watch this as a secular action film, you won't be distracted by theology. Think of it as a nice midway point, philosophically, between Left Behind and Armageddon.

A good time, all around, and very much so recommended.

The Asylum on TV: SyFy/Chiller Listings for April

ALL TIMES E.S.T.

SYFY

April 2, 9:00 am, Meteor Apocalypse
April 3, 1:00 am, 2012: Supernova
April 5, 12:00 pm, Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus
April 8, 3:00 am, King of the Lost World

April 9, 9:00 am, King of the Lost World
April 9, 1:00 pm, Journey to the Center of the Earth
April 9, 7:00 pm, The Land That Time Forgot

(what's this here? another mini-marathon of sorts? Asylum films based on 19th Century fantasy novels? I like...)

April 13, 3:00 am, Intermedio
April 16, 2:00 pm, Mega Fault




CHILLER

April 12, 8:00 pm & 12:00 am, Hillside Cannibals
April 13, 10:00 pm & April 14, 2:00 am, The Hitchhiker
April 27, 10:00 pm & April 28, 2:00 am, Exorcism: The Possession of Gail Bowers

Creature Feature: god

That's right, I'm doing a creature feature on god, or God, however you choose to spell it. Makes sense, after all, as he (or she, I suppose) has been the force to reckon with in no less than six Asylum films: Countdown: Jerusalem, The Apocalypse, Meteor Apocalypse, 2012 Doomsday, 2012 Supernova and Sunday School Musical. Now, obviously, one of these films is not like the others, and to call god the "villain" in Sunday School Musical would be a gross exaggeration and a scoch blasphemous, but there's no doubt that in the other five, he's chock-full of that Old Testament piss and vinegar than made humanity bow at his feet and call him Daddy.

In all of these films the pitch is pretty much the same: g(G)od is pissed at/fed-up with/testing the faith of humanity and so sends a plague of natural disasters including earthquakes, floods, tornadoes, droughts, crazy storms and even barrages of meteors. This, as I alluded to above, is that old-school god of wrath and vengeance, all my-way-or-the-highway, the kind of guy who would wipe out an entire universe just to prove a point, the kind of dude who told Abraham to kill his son as a gesture of faith and then stopped him just before he did, that kind of shit. Sure, he's still cool to his faithful - in Countdown: Jerusalem in particular, he does the whole Rapture thing where he plucks the souls of the righteous before unleashing Hell upon the rest of us wicked - but for those who have forgotten, forsaken or insulted him, there will be no mercy. 

Perhaps I'm painting too dour a picture of the presence of god in these films. After all, these films are meant to be faith-affirming, and sure, they use a scare tactic or two to get you there, but that is absolutely nothing new in religion. But in the end, in each of these films, the same god who is seen as angered and thus responsible for global cataclysm is always somehow appeased or satisfied and sees or re-sees the good in humanity and gives us one more chance to make a go of this crazy gift called Life.Thus is the dichotomy of god, and the element that makes him such an interesting character (in Asylum films, I mean, not in, you know, The Bible): he loves us enough to destroy us. That's some heavy shit, y'all.

No doubt we haven't seen the last of god. With 2012 right around the corner, he's sure to catch some flack in a disaster flick here or there, and if not, he can always extend a helping hand in a demon-plagued horror film or two, or even lend a benevolent ear in a faith-based family drama. That's the nice thing - or rather, one of the nice things, I guess - about being god: you're good at everything.

30-Second Spot for Battle of Los Angeles Hits SyFy Site!

Though there's still no trailer, The Asylum has released the first 30-second commercial spot for Battle of Los Angeles, set to debut on SyFy March 12th at 9pm. Jump over to the site for the clip, then jump back here and let me know what you think. Personally, I think this looks to be the most explosive, destructive film we've seen from The Asylum since perhaps Meteor Apocalypse. Disaster flicks are a big theme in this year's Asylum's releases, at least as scheduled, so it'll be interesting to see how they've raised the bar, FX-wise.

Battle of Los Angeles was written and directed by Mark Atkins, and stars Kel Mitchell and Nia Peeples. 

Asylum Lands Its Next SyFy Premiere! And Announces an AWESOME New Title!

With the premiere of Mega Python vs Gatoroid still more than 24 hours away, SyFy has announced the next slate of it's Saturday night original movies, and sure enough, there's an Asylum title in the mix.

Battle of Los Angeles, starring Kel Mitchell and Nia Peeples, is set to premiere on the network the night of March 12th, ten whole days before it appears on DVD and the same weekend Hollywood's competing project, Battle: Los Angeles, opens in theaters. Pretty smart move there, guys.


Also, in revisiting the film's home page on The Asylum's site, I noticed they had tweaked the poster a little bit since the last time I checked in. Notice how the chartreusian color scheme to the original poster (top) has been downshifted into cooler blues and the explosions have been raised to a higher level of intensity on the newer poster (bottom). It's a subtle shift, but I think it works, eliminates the Independence Day-feel of the first one (as much as that feel can be eliminated when dealing with a picture of a spacecraft over a building/skyline reducing said building/skyline to rubble with what I call a butt-laser, only shoots right below you.).

So mark your calendars now, March 12 is the day. Who knows, maybe SyFy will team this with a couple other Asylum flicks - like, say, War of the Worlds? War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave? Meteor Apocalypse? - and we'll have ourselves a bona fide Mega-Marathon Part Deus!



But in even more exciting news, there's been another project announced in the "Coming Soon" section of the Asylum's homepage, and this one has probably the greatest title ever in the history of titles:

2 Headed Shark Attack

No details yet as to what this one's about - as though you needed more than the title to conjure a rough idea - nor who the creative forces behind it will be, but thankfully it seems as though the ***SPOILER*** untimely demise of a certain other shark working for the Asylum won't be deterring the boys from upping the stakes once again. Two heads. Two heads. Oh, to get my hands on this one. No dates have been announced, nor any more info other than the name, but believe me when I tell you as soon as I know something, you will know something. Believe me.

observation notes: 2012 Supernova

So, it's been brought to my attention via comments, personal emails and Facebook posts that perhaps in these observation notes, in my zeal to communicate my enthusiasm for Asylum productions, I'm giving away a bit too much in regards to plot details, thus doing the opposite of my primary directive and spoiling a thing or two. As I've said before, the ultimate point of these notes, indeed this blog, is to spark your interest, whet your appetite, and make you want to see the daggum movies. As such, I will try to restrain myself a little more in the future, restrict my synopses from now on to no more than a mere paragraph of general description, focusing my efforts instead on praising the technical and creative aspects of the films. Funny, I think, maybe you won't, that I choose to start this with a film I didn't particularly care for. Either way, here we go:

This is the second of The Asylum's 2012-prefixed films - sandwiched between 2008's 2012: Doomsday and next year's 2012: Ice Age - and, as the title indicates, concerns impending oblivion courtesy of an astronomical anomalous catastrophe: seems a star in a neighboring galaxy goes ape-shit unstable and explodes, "supernova" as the kids call it, and unleashes a deadly burst of space-radiation hurtling towards Earth, where it will eradicate every living thing on the planet; it is up to a brilliant if rebellious astrophysicist (Brian Krause) to compose a radical plan that can save all of mankind from imminent extinction. That plan? Well, that's one of the things on which I'm censoring myself, but rest assured I didn't choose the adjective "radical" haphazardly. Add to this a subplot - one typical in Asylum films; see Mega Fault, Meteor Apocalypse, Titanic II - in which said astrophysicist's family is in constant peril from the first ripples of destruction, and the result is a moderately intense - if overly melodramatic - disaster flick roughly on par with other direct-to-DVD offerings in the genre.

I'm not known to be one who minces words, so I won't start here: this isn't the greatest story, and the dialog is even not-greater. This film, in fact, is a pretty good example of a stellar - pardon the pun - concept that crashed and burned upon execution. This story was too rote, the characters weren't near developed enough - despite admirable turns by the principle cast - and the conclusion kinda sucked. That said, the FX were pretty cool, startlingly cool, in fact, as though lifted from another movie and dropped into this one, a credit to both the visual effects department and director Anthony Fankhauser (8213 Gacy House), the latter of whom makes the best of a mediocre situation by depicting the chaos as sufficiently chaotic and peril palpable. My only critique of the direction would be the repetitive use of the same FX clips, but, given what the budget of such a film was bound to be, I suspect this isn't a short-coming of direction but rather an economic necessity, so, no harm no foul.

As for performances, I like Brian Krause. I can't put my finger on just why, I just always relate to him. Whether it's in this or other genre work - from the classic Sleepwalkers to the more-recent Beyond Loch Ness and Warbirds - there's just something really normal about this guy, in a good way, something we can all empathize with. Given that, I actually liked him in this: intense, focused, gruff, desperate but strong. The Asylum should have him back soon.

The lovely Heather McComb("The Event," "Prison Break," non-Asylum Shark Swarm) as the beleagured wife seeking protection against unimaginable perils, is appropriately frazzled without over-acting, and manages a grace under fire that is admirable and indeed noteworthy. Actress Najarra Townsend (hella shorts) rounds out the cast, showing a modicum of promise in her role, holding her own with the more accomplished actors.

This - global annihilation via extraterrestrial masses - isn't a new concept to either cinema in general (Armageddon, Deep Impact) or The Asylum (2012 Doomsday, Meteor Apocalypse) and while this is far and away not the finest entry in either category, it is a moderately entertaining 85 minutes, thanks to neat-o FX and plausible performances. But, truthfully, in a choice between this film and the actual apocalypse, it's kind of a toss up.

Sorry, they can't all be positive.