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Showing posts with label Eric Forsberg. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Eric Forsberg. Show all posts

observation notes: AGE OF THE HOBBITS

AGE OF THE HOBBITS Movie PosterOut December 11th from The Asylum is Age of the Hobbits, the second film from director Joseph J. Lawson (Nazis at the Center of the Earth) and the latest script from Eric Forsberg (Almighty Thor, Mega Piranha). No doubt anything you've heard about this film until now has tied in somehow to a legal discrepancy between The Asylum and the makers of The Hobbit. Having not seen the latter, I can still assume that in name alone is where any resemblance shared by these two films comes to an end. Yes, AotH is a fantasy epic, but its roots are steeped in anthropological history, and though there are those aforementioned fantastic elements, AotH bears more in common with films like Apocalypto, or Quest for Fire. Check out the official synopsis:

"In an ancient age, peace-loving tribe are enslaved by a race of flesh-eating dragon-riders. The young tribesman Goben must join forces with their neighbor giants, the humans, to free his people and vanquish their enemies." 

So there we start, 12,000 years in the past, embroiled in an unbalanced skirmish between Lilliputian tribesmen and gnarly-toothed cannibals, which the tribesmen attempt to balance by teaming up with those weirdo tall people the next valley over. Now, y'all know I am not a critic, I am a fan, and as such, I'm not here to dissect this movie for you, I'm here to tell you all the awesome reasons you should see it, without spoiling any of the juicy bits. So in the ever-present interest of staying spoiler-free, all I'll say of the plot is that Eric Forsberg is one of the smartest dudes writing B-movies today. It's easy to cram a lot of science, history, facts or what have you into a script, but to get it in there seamlessly, where it doesn't sound like actors reciting Wikipedia entries, and in fact weaves among the narrative in a way that is not only natural but integral, is a real accomplishment. Believe me. Forsberg here has delivered a story from an ancient age that feels timeless, a struggle as old as our kind, and as such utterly relatable. It's a thrilling, frightening, smart, suspenseful, imaginative, and truly touching story, beautifully brought to life by director Lawson.

You know the one thing never effected by a movie's budget? The eye of the guy behind the lens. David Lean could have directed Manos, and you better believe no matter what the outcome, that thing would have looked good. Lawson is one of those guys. The way he sees his movie, the shots he frames, the times he comes in close or steps back, the vitality to his action sequences, the emotional intimacy he elicits between characters; this guy's a born director, and for my money, his passion and knowledge are blindingly apparent in each frame. Team this with a great script, and what you get isn't just a good Asylum movie, it's a good movie, period. Haters are going to have to stretch on this one.  

When it comes to the cast, the names here are Christopher Judge from the Stargate TV stuff, and Bai Ling, of Crank 2 fame. Both are perfectly suited for their roles and pull them off well, but the real stars here are the tribespeople. Sun Korng as Goben and the others who play his family, they're the heart of this movie; the purity of spirit they exude, the unspoiled sense of purpose and dedicaiton to family, faith, and freedom they extract from their characters are powerful, palpable things, eliciting more than just the typical B-movie range of emotions. Today I genuinely teared up watching an Asylum movie. Who'd of thunk?

So...story? Check. Direction? Check. Performances? Check. Add to this pretty awesme creature VFX and yet another amazing score from Chris Ridenhour - I'm running out of great things to say about this guy. Truly A-list talent. - and what you get is another contender for best Asylum film of the year. It hits DVD, Blu-Ray, and VOD on Tuesday: be there. 

40 Days and Nights out today!

Even though we're on the cusp of December, there are still three Asylum releases slated for 2012, which means that beginning today, we get three straight weeks of brand spankin' new movies from our favorite independent studio.

The streak starts today with global-flood pic 40 Days and Nights, starring Monica Keena and Alex Carter, written by H. Perry Horton (that's me) and directed by Peter Geiger.

The next week we get 12/12/12, an apocalyptic horror/thriller from writer/directer Jared Cohn, the mastermind behind Born Bad and Bikini Spring Break, and also the director of The Asylum's first theatrical release, #HoldYourBreath.

And then the Tuesday after that, December 11th, there's the highly-anticipated Age of The Hobbits, from director Joseph Lawson (Nazis at the Center of the Earth) and writer Eric Forsberg (Mega Piranha, Almighty Thor), and starring Christopher Judge and Bai Ling.

So, as you can see, there's still a lot of awesome stuff to come this year from The Asylum. Start things off right with 40 Days and Nights, available now on DVD, Blu-Ray and VOD.

AGE OF THE HOBBITS Gets a Poster!

With only a little over a month before its December 11th street date, Age of the Hobbits has gotten itself a swanky poster. Dig it:


Pretty f'n epic, if you ask me. This film - one of the most original in the studio's catalog, in terms of mockbuster spin - comes courtesy of an Asylum dream team: director Joseph Lawson (the incredible Nazis at the Center of the Earth) and inventive screenwriter Eric Forsberg (Alien Abduction, Mega Piranha, Almighty Thor), and stars Christopher Judge (the Stargate TV show) and Bai Ling (one of the newer Star Wars, Crank Deuce).

December 11th is the day. Mark your calendars.

4 New Asylum Trailers on YouTube!

Head over to The Asylum's YouTube channel now for a peek at FOUR upcoming Asylum projects,including Jared Cohn's hella-creepy-looking 12/12/12, Director Joseph Lawson and writer Eric Forsberg's beautiful and epic Age of the Hobbits, writer Jose Prendes' Hansel and Gretel, and the trailer for my - H. Perry Horton - next Asylum script 40 Days and Nights. 

All four of the films will be out by the end of the year, and from the looks of them, it's going to be an awesome end to 2012. Viva Asylum!!!

Details on 4 New Asylum Projects

Lots of new over at The Asylum page today, where we get cast, crew and plot details on 4 upcoming productions; let's just get into it, shall we?

#holdyourbreath: This is The Asylum's theatrical debut, written by Geoff Meed and directed by Jared Cohn. 

The plot: "A group of friends on a roadtrip explore a cemetery where the ghost of a notorious serial killer jumps from body to body, killing his victims one by one."  

The stars: Katrina Bowden, Randy Wayne, Lisa Younger, Seth Cassell, Erin Marie Hogan.  

The release date: October 5th, in theaters!

40 Days and 40 Nights: an upcoming disaster flick, written by me, H. Perry Horton, and directed by Peter Geiger. 

The plot: "When a colossal tectonic shift causes the sea level to start rising, a microbiologist gathers the DNA of as many species as she can, while the military creates an "ark" in a desperate attempt to preserve life on Earth." 

The stars: Monica Keena, Alex Carter, Christianna Carmine, Emily Sandifer, Mitch Lerner.  

The release date: November 27th.

12/12/12: thriller written & directed by the ever-busy Jared Cohn. 

The plot: "When baby Sebastien is born on 12/12/12 everyone around him starts to die. Soon, his mother realizes that her son is the spawn of Hell."  

The stars: Sara Malakul Lane, Jesus Guevera, Carl Doleson, Steve Hanks 

The release date: 12/4/12


Age of the Hobbits: written by Eric Forsberg for Joseph Lawson to direct.

The plot: "In an age long ago, the last village of clever, peace-loving Hobbits is attacked and enslaved by the Java Men, komodo-worshiping, dragon-riding cannibals. Now the young Hobbit Goben, along with his father and sister, must seek help from the "giants" (human hunters) to find the Javas' lair and rescue the last surviving Hobbits, Goben's mother among them. In their quest to destroy the Javas, the heroic partnership of humans and Hobbits will transform both species forever." 

The stars: Christopher Judge, Bai Ling, Sun Korng

The release date: December 11 

The 2011 Loonies...Coming SOON!!!

That's right, as another year draws to a close, so is birthed the 2011 Looney Awards for Excellence in Asylum Films, a completely-unaffiliated, fan-voted and non-binding awards presentation I designed to spotlight the best of each year's Asylum crop. 

There are still two films left to be released in 2011 - Amityville Haunting and Zombie Apocalypse - so I don't have all of the nominees as of yet, but I have most of them lined up and ready to drop...which I will do Friday, December 30th, three days after both Amityville & Zombie are released on DVD.

Last year's big winner was Mega Piranha, taking 5 of 8 categories including Best Picture and Best Director for Eric Forsberg. Who's the frontrunner this year? Mega Python vs Gatoroid? Zombie Apocalypse? A Haunting in Salem? Only time and your votes will tell.

The 2011 Loonies boast more categories, more nominees, and more opportunities for B-movie-blog immortality. Don't just imagine the possibilities, stop by December 30th and live the dream...

Almighty Thor Now on DVD!!!


It has arrived, my fellow faithfully-committed, the day that was foretold to us neigh these six months past, the day that the son of Odin walks on Earth to help save humankind from the treacherous, mischievous, maniacal plans of his brother Loki.

In other words, Almighty Thor, The Asylum's latest release, the one that premiered on SyFy this last Saturday night to hopefully awesome, record-breaking numbers, is now available to rent or own at hundreds of thousands of retailers countrywide.

As you may or may not know, I've already seen this one - did the old live-blog event on Saturday night - and I gotta tell you, the last few films from The Asylum - specifically Mega Python vs Gatoroid, Battle of Los Angeles, 200mph and now this - have really seemed to be raising the bar in terms of not only writing and visual effects, but also in regards to acting and overall presentation. This is a slick film here, adventurous and exciting, well-played on all fronts and tied together by the contagious dynamism of the film's lead, never-unknown-again Cody Deal. Richard Grieco is also smoldering, and Patricia Velasquez displays some real chops.

Another smash hit for director Christopher Ray (Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus) as well as writer Eric Forsberg (Mega Piranha), the latter of whom scored his second SyFy hit in as many years. Color me neon green with envy. 

So check it out, love it, tell your friends, make sure they check it out, mention the uzi if you have to, just make sure everyone on every friend list you have knows this one's out and ready to enjoy. Then, enjoy!

Live Blog Fest: ALMIGHTY THOR SyFy PREMIERE!!!


Greetings and welcome one and all to yet another COMMITTED live blog fest, our third so far, and perhaps the biggest yet, celebrating what could well turn out to be the biggest night for The Asylum on SyFy to date. I'm talking of course - in case you live in a hole or came across this site looking for naked pictures of Debbie Gibson (sorry) - about the World (West Coast) Premiere of Almighty Thor, now a mere 15 minutes away, and a film with a real shot at becoming the highest-rated SyFy Saturday Original Movie ever. Only a trifling 3 million + viewers block Thor from destiny.

The film stars newcomer (and incredible self-publicist, the true champion of this film) Cody Deal as the titular God of Thunder, Richard "21 Jump Street" Grieco as Thor's brother, the mischievous and malevolent Loki, Kevin "Diesel" Nash as their father Odin, and Patricia "skimpy costume from the first Mummy movie" Velasquez as, well, I'm not sure yet, but chances are, a hot chick. 

But the talent in this one isn't just on-screen, it's also behind the scenes, as well: the film is directed by Christopher Ray, who recently helmed The Asylum's Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus and is currently serving as First Assistant Director on a certain 3D Asylum horror film in production as we speak (ahem...A Haunting in Salem, script by me; just had to get that in). Ray directed from a script by Eric Forsberg, the genius writer/director behind last year's pop-culture phenom and instant cult classic Mega Piranha. Furthermore, the score comes from Chris Ridenhour - resident Asylum Beethoven - and the cinematography is courtesy of Alex Yellin, another guy currently working on A Haunting in Salem.


But not only do we have the movie starting up in less than a quarter hour, we also got dinner, drinks, desert - themed, no less - witty commentary, embarrassing photos (like the one to the right of me all decked out in my in my Almighty accessories; thanks, Wal Mart), and all-around Asylum-geekery until 11 pm, when I've promised my wife I'll stop.

Until then, we're going full-throttle here at COMMITTED, so feel free to comment like crazy below as I update this same post minute-by-minute throughout the whole film. Simply refresh your browser for the latest drivel. That said, crack open a cold one, get comfortable and stay tuned for the start of festivities, only minutes away...


Oh yeah, and tell everyone you know on the West Coast to turn on their TVs to SyFy, right now.

First up, Richard GREEK-O pita-stuffed lamburgers, seasoned with salt and pepper, stuffed in a pita and adorned with goat cheese and red pepper spread, and a side of Kevin "Nashed" potatoes with feta cheese,


These were delicious, as delicious, say, as Thor's coming of age in a militaristic Asgardian family.

Less than three minutes to go, so it's time to pour the golden chalice. See, I thought a lot about the kind of cocktail to make for this event, but when it came down to it, Norse warriors drink ale, and so then, shall I, specifically the gods' own nectar, the champagne of beer, Miller High Life.

So then dinner...check. Drinks...check. Dessert...formulating...t -minus a few minutes so buckle in, my fellow, faithfully-committed, the show's about to start...


9:00 PM - this is where the party starts...

9:02 PM - beautiful FX right off the bat... 

9:03 PM - Richard Grieco rising... 

9:04 PM - already RG is a evil genius,,,here comes Kevin Nash and...CODY DEAL! Clean-shaven Thor works for me, adds an element of inexperience that makes the character more endearing, I think... 

9:06 PM - first creature sighting... Forsberg kicks ass as a screenwriter!

9:09 PM - Grieco's nonchalance, almost apathy, is strangely fitting for the role... 

9: 13 PM - awesome creature FX, and that cody can really swing a sword...kevin nash as odin brings a sort of stern authoritarianism to the role, a physical intimidation that i thin is quite necessary when dealing with a god of gods...ooh...odin/loki swordfight...

9: 17 PM loki is as bad as hamlet's dad... 

9:18 PM -  first commercial break, and so far, so excellent...Forsberg's take on the myth is very human and easily related to, Nash was exquisite as Odin and Grieco as Loki is a new breed of menacing. Deal as Thor brings a much-appreciated youth to the role, and displays an interesting take on a god as a fledgling, that is, an immortal, all-powerful being vulnerable enough to need breathing room. can't wait to see what happens next, now that shit's popping off...

9:24 PM - Purpose becomes clear...I've never seen a more emotional Kevin Nash performance...kudos, Diesel... 

9:26 PM - entre vous ... the lovely Patricia Velasquez...to Thor's aid...

9:30 PM 1/4th of the way through, and already this is more entertaining than I suspect Marvel's Thor is. There's a humanity to the characters here, a relatability that most polytheistic epics lack. deal as thor is fresh, naive and eager to prove himself, and grieco is a badass villain, so casual with his maliciousness, so comfortable in his evil...can't wait for the rest! 

9:35 PM - lots of slo-mo action sequences in this...verdict still out on this, though it does draw attention to some spectacular action choreography 

9:40 PM - and thus begins the training regiment...Patricia Velasquez is not nearly the eye candy i thought she'd be, and i mean that as a compliment, because whereas she is still very much a beautiful woman, her role here isn't dependent on her beauty, it is dependent on her emotional strength, which she has by the bucket. 

9:43 PM - onward to Earth...now shit gets really good... 

9:45 PM -  interesting use of color here by director Christopher Ray - sepia for Asgard, blue for Earth - makes for a distinctive division of acts and an adjustment we make along with the characters...nice...

9:52 PM -  just a note to say i really like the approach Forsberg took with this script. instead of tying in too heavily to the mythology, he gave us just enough, what we needed to know, then took the story and made it his own, a fish-out-of-water story, that fish just having, you know, god like strength and invulnerability. but overall, i think it makes the story more human.

plus the art direction and cinematography in LA are awesome so far, very gritty and un-mythic, giving even more humanity to the script. 

9:54 PM - it's like - and i swear i mean this in a good way - Wings of Desire meets Hercules in New York, a mythic foundation in an urban landscape, classical meets contemporary in a brutal clash of philosophies, the result of which is a sense of timeless struggle costumes and weaponry can't define, for it is immortal. 


or, you know, people beating each other up and blowing shit up.

9:58 PM - halfway through...thor going out on his own...thoughts from the audience? blow up that comments board! 

10:04 PM - holy shit! the sword play in this is excellent! i mean EXCELLENT! note to self: dont mess with cody deal...

and the rain...beautiful work by alex yellin...

10:07 PM -  thor as vulnerable...cody deal's performance is winning me over minute by minute. i like my gods human...

10:08 PM - is it just me, or when grieco is walking down the LA sidewalk, is that an andy dick impression? ;)


10:12 PM - dessert! and work with me on this one, but we're having: Chocolate Cody'd Deal-icious Ice Cream Cookie Sundaes! How desperate am I for tie-in food?


45 minutes to go!








10:19 PM - again, the use of color, the use of smoke, of sweeping cameras - the cinematography on this one is off the charts...it's a gorgeous movie...and now more swordplay!!!


10:21 PM -  graffiti and norse gods - what a combo!


10:22 PM - btw - chris ridenhour - if you read this, i want an mp3 copy of this score to write to...so subtly epic, so sweeping and expansive...i WANT it...


10:30 PM - Thor commercial during Almighty Thor presentation...synergy...


10:33 PM -  unleash the creatures on LA...do it!


10:35 PM -  again, pleasantly surprised at the amount of screen time Patricia Velasquez is getting. until tonight, i only thought of her as a pretty face. she's got a juliette binoche quality to her, i see now, and is quite a deft actress. biggest and most pleasant surprise of the night..

10:36 PM - UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


10:38 PM -  yo - that uzi scene is even more awesome than the trailer lead us to believe...


10:40 PM - so with less than 20 minutes to go, im'ma cut on the scene by scene stuff, to spare spoilers, but give me a few minutes to collect my final impressions (and watch the creature MADNESS) and i'll get right back  to you...


11:00 PM - so, still marinating on this one - my final thoughts will accompany the DVD release post on Tuesday - but for now, swimming in the moment, I have to say that overall I was impressed. The performances by all leads took this one out of the typical context, made it more human, though haughtier, almost like a shakesperean gangster flick. Grieco brought a decadent nonchalance to Loki, Cody Deal an intense vulnerability to Thor - I want to say how thrilled I was to be as taken by his performance as I hoped I would; this guy's got some big things in his future - and Patricia Velasquez an unforeseen and, quite frankly, unsuspected depth. 

Kudos as well to director Christopher Ray and cinematographer Alex Yellin for a beautiful, elegiac, sweeping visual feast, and screenwriter Eric Forsberg for another SyFy classic - action-packed, emotional and epic; in all honesty, if I could write like that guy, I'd never leave the house. Hats off to the visual FX team for baller creature and lava work. And what else is there to say? Almighty Thor met all my expectations as a fast-paced, action-centric thrill-ride. Here's hoping it met yours, and here's hoping when the ratings come out next week, we'll have ourselves a new SyFy Original Movie champion on our hands. 


Thanks for dropping by/tuning in/logging on/whatever the kids are calling it these days. As usual, I had an awesome time. Buy/rent/queue the DVD for Tuesday!

REMINDER: Live Blog Event During Almighty Thor

Just a reminder post here that this Saturday, May 7th, at 9pm PST I'll be sitting down - hopefully with millions of others of you, to watch the SyFy premiere of the latest Asylum masterpiece, Almighty Thor.

For those of you unfamiliar with my live blog events - which I've done in the past for the SyFy premieres of Mega Python vs Gatoroid and Battle of Los Angeles - mostly they involve me commenting live here as I watch the film, as well as sharing some embarrassing photos of myself and my lucky wife enjoying the festivities with food, cocktails and some sort of grossly exaggerated desert.

On the menu for this event? Richard Greek-o Goat Cheese Lamburgers, w/ Kevin Nash-ed Potatoes, and for desert? Chocolate Cody'd Deal-icious Ice Cream Sundaes.


I shit you not, true-believers, Im'ma eat this stuff.


But I'm not the only online event going down during the premiere; I'm not even the most legit: Cody Deal, Almighty Thor himself, will be live Tweeting during the film's East Coast showing (that's 6-8 our time, Westies). This guy's been doing an amazing job getting the word out there, drawing some unprecedented publicity for the film. We Asylum fanatics have a very real chance of trumping Lake Placid 3' reigning ratings-record for SyFy Saturday Originals (3 million viewers).


So while you're spreading the word and getting everyone you know to watch, used these links for supplemental materials:


from Media Blvd.


from LIVE with USC's CU@USC: Part 1  Part 2


from Adrenaline Radio 1680 AM on the Acting Up Show with Steve & Skyler

from me

outside the walls: May DVD Releases


I recognize that not all great films are made exclusively by The Asylum and that, in fact, there's a whole world of film outside these walls, some of which might actually interest Asylum fans - when they're not watching or re-watching Asylum films, of course. And, being as I'm only looking out for your viewing well-being, here's a peek at some other DVD releases this month which might satiate you between Asylum releases. But remember, as always, Sweet n' Low ain't sugar.

MAY 3




Bound by Blood: Wendigo











Ninjas vs. Vampires











Sinister










MAY 10



Almighty Thor

Cody Deal
Richard Grieco
Kevin Nash

written by Eric Forsberg
directed by Christopher Ray











Black Death











Cougars, Inc.











Dahmer vs. Gacy











The Hit List











I Saw the Devil











The Violent Kind










MAY 17



Ballistica

Paul Logan
Martin Kove
Robert Davi














The Blood Shed











The Mechanic











The Rite











Takedown











Vanishing on 7th Street










MAY 24



The Big Bang











Death Hunter: Werewolves vs Vampires









200MPH on DVD!!! PLus...a New Blog Event!!!

Double -shot of good news today:


First things first, it's Tuesday, which means fresh DVDs have been delivered, and easily the best of the bunch this week is the latest Asylum release, 200MPH, starring Jaz Martin and AnnaMaria Demara, and directed by Cole McKay. If you scroll down but a few inches, you'll find my observation notes on the film, which is well worth rushing to the video store and even trampling a person or two to get.






Secondly, the next Asylum release, Almighty Thor - starring Cody Deal, Richard Grieco and Kevin Nash, written by Eric Forsberg and directed by Christopher Ray - is itself only a few weeks from its May 10th DVD release. However, three days before that, on Saturday the 7th, at 9pm no matter what your North American timezone, the film will get its World Premiere on SyFy. Which means...you guessed it...another Mega-Live Blogfest! Join me that night about half an hour before showtime and watch along with my snarky observations, cumbersome back-information on cast, crew and story, as well as cocktails, a possible theme-meal, and everybody's favorite, a giant Rice Krispie treat I decorate (crudely) in honor of the film. The fun goes down not this Saturday, but the Saturday after, so schedule accordingly.

Alimighty Thor Trailer Has Arrived

With only a couple weeks to go until the May 7th SyFy premiere of The Asylum's Almighty Thor, starring Richard Grieco, Kevin Nash and Cody Deal as the titular Norse god, the official full trailer dropped today over at the MTV site.



Looks pretty awesome to my eyes, more creaturific than I was expecting, and the image of Thor with an automatic weapon is more than the word "awesome" can describe. If you don't have cable or can't make the May 7th premiere, never fear, Almighty Thor (directed by Christopher Ray and written by Eric Forsberg) will be on DVD only days later, on May 10th.

First Almighty Thor Teaser Goes Up at Moviehole!


The good people over at Moviehole.net have scored the first teaser clip for the upcoming Asylum epic Almighty Thor.

Just a quick fight scene here, but we finally get to see both Richard Grieco - as Loki - and star Cody Deal - as the titular Norse god - and both look great. Grieco looks to bring a certain level of creepiness to the character, while Deal's Thor looks to be both physically powerful and emotionally vulnerable, which could add depth to this historically rigid and distant character.
Check out the clip for yourself then, if you're looking for even more Thor, head over to Comic Book Move dot com for their incredibly thorough sit-down with Mr. Deal.

Almighty Thor - which also stars Kevin Nash as Odin and was written by Eric Mega Piranha Forsrberg and directed by Christopher MSvC Ray - will premiere on SyFy Saturday, May 7th, then drop on DVD the following Tuesday, May 10th.

inmate profile: Jared Cohn

It's still a good long while until Born Bad hits DVD - November 8, to be precise - but it's never too early to start ramping up the hype for this destined-to-be classic tale of a good girl's world shattered by a really bad guy. And where better to start, I thought, than with the man responsible for Born Bad both on the page and behind the camera: writer/director (and accomplished actor, inside Asylum walls and out), Jared Cohn.

After graduating from the reputable New York Institute of Technology with a BFA in Communication Arts, Cohn switched coasts and found acting work with The Asylum, making his motion picture debut in 2005's Alien Abduction, also writer/director Eric Mega Piranha Forsberg's first Asylum feature. Cohn would act in three other Asylum productions - Way of the Vampire, Legion of the Dead and Halloween Night - as well as a slew of other productions including Blood Predator, Teary Sockets, Plaguers, and, most recently, Revenants (he also acts under the name Jared Michaels).


As a writer/director, Cohn has another project already under his belt, The Carpenter: Part 1 - And So They Die, which I haven't seen, but you gotta respect the ambition of that title.


With a resume like this, and a look at the photos on his website, it seems Jared Cohn isn't a squeamish guy. What does that mean for Born Bad? Well, by all accounts, this is a straight up thriller - no monsters or creatures or other supernatural bent - so I would say we're in for some good, old-fashioned brutal violence, the kind of shit that makes the throat-rip from Roadhouse look like the puck-catch in Untamed Heart (work with me on that one...)


And though, as mentioned, we've got a while until the film is released, I'm willing to bet it's worth the wait.

Almighty Thor Poster is Here!

The poster for Almighty Thor just debuted over at The Asylum site, and it's looking pretty rad. That's our Thor, Cody Deal swinging what is easily the biggest freakin' Mijollnir I've ever seen. And I don't know what the hell that dusty-lizard-looking-thing to the left of the poster is, but I hope there are at least a couple of them in the movie. 

Almighty Thor, which was written by Eric Mega Piranha Forsberg and directed by Christopher Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus Ray, and co-stars the great Richard Grieco and the formidable Kevin Nash, debuts on DVD Tuesday, May 10th, 2011. 

The Results Are In: Announcing the Winners of the 2010 Loonies!!!

That's right, my faithfully-committed, this is the day we've been waiting for: after six weeks of anticipation and more than 500 votes, it's at long last time to announce the winners of the first ever Looney Awards for Excellence in Asylum Films. This first class of winners will go down in history and their names will echo across time just like Wings, Emil Jannings and Janet Gaynor. In addition to winning the accolades of their fans and the envy of their contemporaries, Looney winners receive, well, nothing physical, but those other things really are pretty cool. A reminder that the Loonies were voted for solely by Committed readers, and you have my word as a Southerner, a gentleman and an Asylum fanatic that the results have been in no way modified. So get your screen maximized, pump something with a little pomp and circumstance on your iTunes (i chose lil wayne's "right above it") and scroll down, winners await you!











Best Supporting Actress - Lindsey McKeon - Airline Disaster






Best Supporting Actor - Jude Gerard-Prest - Mega Piranha






Best Performance by a Non-Human - Mega Piranha (collective) - Mega Piranha






Best Script - Shane Van Dyke - Titanic II






Best Actress - Tiffany - Mega Piranha










Best Actor - Barry Bostwick - 2010: Moby Dick






Best Director - Eric Forsberg - Mega Piranha






drum roll please...





Best Feature - Mega Piranha

 



I can assure you that each of these races came down to single-digit differentials, and for the most part every nominee got at least a handful of votes. I think this illustrates just how satisfied we as Asylum fans were with last year's output: they were all so good, we truly had a hard time deciding which one we liked best. But the results speak for themselves, and the big winner this first year is Mega Piranha, walking away with an astounding five of eight Loonies, and a slightly more astounding five of six nominations.

Big shout out to all the winners, and indeed all the nominees; this was the biggest, most spectacular year in The Asylum's history, and it was the contributions of all the nominees - and scores of others that I heartlessly left unnominated - who helped make it happen. So really they're all winners, and the prize is getting to work for the best independent studio in Hollywood.

Thanks to everybody who voted, who commented, and who helped spread the word. Special thanks, as always, to The Asylum for letting me draft off their success, and if any of the winners would like to post an acceptance speech in the comments below, feel free! No cut-off music! 




Mega-Marathon Blogfest! Mega Live!

That's right ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and other children of all ages, the time is at last upon us, the day we faithfully Committed have been anticipating like a month of Christmases:



Go ahead and get your TV nice and warmed up, because over the next six hours it's nothing but Asylum mega-flicks on SyFy - Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Mega Piranha and the world television premiere of Mega Python vs. Gatoroid - and I'm gonna be prattling off live, right here, for the whole freakin' thing. I'm joined today by my lovely wife who has patiently agreed to sit near me while I geek out in such a mega fashion, and she even let me get her a t-shirt for the festivities.


So welcome! We got food, drinks, commentary, photo updates and live observation notes of the main event. I'll update this same post with a time stamp every time I leave a new comment, so just refresh your browser and scroll down for the latest shenanigans. And don't let me do all the talking! I'll be checking the comment boards live as well, so if you guys wanna chime in, add your own commentary or tear me a new one, go for it! We're all in this together! 


First up, the movie that started the mega craze, the movie with a top-ten most Googled trailer of 2009 (arguably the biggest spectacle year in Hollywood's history between District 9, Avatar, Star Trek, Up, 2012 and installments of the Transformers, Terminator, Harry Potter and Twilight franchises), the movie that turned an unknown megalodon into a household name:

  Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
 

5:01PM Ah, MSvGO. This will be the fifth time I've seen the film, and I swear each time it gets better. Gotta love the lengthy, elegiac opening. Beautiful shots, though. Lots of Asylum flicks open with these sweeping topographical montages. 100 Million BC, Dragon,  to name two.

Debbie's right..."there is poetry here." 

5:06PM Shout out to Jonathan Nation, the guy behind Debbie playing Vince. This guy is one of the most versatile supporting actors The Asylum has. He can play anybody, really. Check out his filmography

5:13PM I will never ever ever tire of watching Debbie Gibson swill liquor from a brown paper bag. It's like most other pop stars of her era these days. 

5:15PM First commercial, time for appetizers...



We got chips (shaped like shark teeth) and salsa con queso (cuz cheese rocks), a mega tub of cheese balls that I swear was a gift (which might say worse things about me than if I had purchased them myself) and jumbo shrimp. Yup. Jumbo shrimp. One could almost call them, by shrimp standards...mega. Oh yeah, I'm gonna be going there all night.

BTW...neat commercial about SyFy and IGN promoting the contest to help develop a SyFy original movie. If there's anyone actually following right now, tell me what you'd pitch.


5:22PM Still the BEST SHARK SCENE EVER!!! Shout out to Michael Parisi (if I have the right actor) for the one-scene performance in Asylum history!

5:29PM I've just decided, after seeing a couple commercials, I'll be doing a "bitch" count during MPvG, updating the stats at every commercial. Live blogging! Who knows what'll happen! 

5:34PM Check out the "do-me" eyes Debbie gives Vic upon their characters' first meeting. Steamy...

I often give some flack to these sorts of movies for over-explaining the scientific angle, but, and this just might be because I'm legitimately interested in sharks, but in this film these explanations, though copious, feel well-integrated and not at all forced or contrived.

5:38PM "What's that, a squid?"  (in disgruntled unison) "Octopus."  Ah, taxonomical humor, gets me every time. 

5:41PM Mega Shark, you sank my battleship! (couldn't resist) 

5:42PM Enter the Lamas...with a detainment camp joke...classy, Renegade. 

5:46PM Shout out to sonar tech (and Looney-nominee for Meteor Apocalypse) Cooper Harris.

5:52PM I am very stoked to learn Tiff and DG will be hosting premiere. My wife is excited to see Tiffany is wearing the same shirt as she.
  
5:56PM Still the MOST AWKWARD SEX SCENE EVER!!! And the quickest. And in the bluest broom closet. 

5:58PM DG to Vic: "I feel like we're just getting to know each other." After, you know, the broom closet sex. 

6:00PM Jet plane REJECTION by Giant Octopus. We need that guy on the Blazers. 

6:12PM Cocktail time! First up, a cocktail of my own creation, never-before tried, including by me, a little drink I'm calling The Electric Youth, in honor of the song by Ms. Gibson. Pour a couple fingers of vodka over ice, twice as much Mike's Hard Lemonade for that electric glow, then fill with soda. I'll give you the verdict in the minute. 



6:13PM Not bad. A refreshing citrusy libation to carry us warmly into act three.


6:16PM For me, the shark biting the Golden Gate Bridge will always be the quintessential Asylum image. There's a savage artistry to it that makes me smile every time. Nice work, Tiny Juggernaut. 

6:23PM I've decided that next Halloween I'm going as the guy in sunglasses holding the machine gun behind Vic Chao during the teleconference from Tokyo. Something about him just oozes badass. I think the actor is Conrad Lihilihi, whose only other credit is an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." Awesome. 

6:32PM "I still think about that night a lot." "Me too." "Every time I sweep up."   Ewwwwwwww. 

6:42PM Matt Lagan bellows a good order. 

6:49PM You're with us in spirit, Mr. Gable!  

6:55PM The shaking submarine scenes, as explained in the making-of featurette, worked off the old Star Trek method of shaking the camera while the performers sway to make it extra discombobulating. 

6:59PM Oh, man, sweet climax. This was the real Clash of the Titans. Farewell valiant Giant Octopus, and as for you Mega Shark, well, perhaps the next mega-marathon will feature your further exploits. And you, Ms. Gibson, we're two short hours away from catching up with you. But for now, we'll happily content ourselves with your "nemesis" and the next mega-marathon feature... 

Mega Piranha

7:01PM I've never actually seen this on TV...I wonder if it'll make sense without the boobs.
Mega Piranha was written and directed, of course, by Eric Forsberg, whose next Asylum project is the screenplay for  Almighty Thor.

7:04PM That's Mr. Forsberg there as the ambassador. 

7:06PM Enter the Brady. And the muscles that comprise Paul Logan

7:08PM And there's a pair of Looney-nominees, the lovely Tiffany and the impassioned Jude Gerard-Prest. Love the vests on both of them.

7:17PM Pizza's here! Naturally, I went with the biggest pie I could find, which at the moment is Pizza Hut's Big Dipper, basically just a doormat of cheesy bread with toppings and copious amounts of sweetened marinara for dipping. Only in America.



7:24PM I'm a big fan of the piranha effects here. To me, they have more personality than the ones in Piranha 3D. But, by and large, didn't care for Piranha 3D. Felt like the schmoes who made Epic, Date, Disaster, Superhero Movie etc. decided to do a send up of killer fish movies.

7:37PM When I say Barry Williams phoned this one in, it isn't the insult it usually is: so far every time he's been on screen he's been in a dimly lit environment talking into his phone. Nice work if you can get it.

7:48PM Another favorite moment of mine in this one is when Jude G-P has to be held back from rushing into the water to save the enemy soldier. The things he does with his hands are truly amazing.

7:51PM And for a scientist, G-P's character holds up remarkably well under torture.

7:54PM I loooooove the scenes of the kamikaze piranha launching themselves into buildings! This is one of the greatest action sequences in The Asylum's repertoire: between the great aerial footage, the CGI explosions and smoke, the shocking death of G-P, the screaming fit by Tiffany that ends with, "I just want to kill them all," and, of course, the piranha kick-assault by Paul Logan. Kudos, Mr. Forsberg.

8:00PM Thanks for following Jeff! We'll keep you apprised of all the good stuff, without giving too much away! 

8:07PM The next cocktail on the menu I'm calling a cherry bomb, for no reason. Remember, I'm a blogger, not a mixologist. Vodka to your liking, topped with cranberry juice and a splash of soda for carbonation, then a drizzle of grenadine for that extra flavor. Its a drink as sweet as Tiffany's voice.



8:15PM I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, but Paul Logan has the best run in The Asylum: so confident, so determined, so angry. I saw that coming at me, I'd give up on the spot.


8:23PM Some men, when attempting to ambush armed soldiers, will rely on stealth, secrecy, and silence. Paul Logan's not some men; he wants to take some dudes out, he's gonna run right up and punch 'em.  

8:30PM Lauren - of course we still have the cheese balls, there are thousands of them!

8:31PM Cooper Harris, back on sonar.


8:43PM Some badass prop weapons they got in this. Wonder if Barry Bostwick made them.

8:45PM Reporter bites it! (or rather, get bitten)

8:47PM Damn I love the FX in this. They may not be the most realistic, but when dealing with piranha the size of minivans, realism isn't so important to me. The FX are, however, convincing enough, vicious enough, and a helluva lot of fun.

8:51PM "You're fish food" cracks me up every time, and then...BOOM! Chopper grab! What a one-two punch of screenwriting!

8:59PM Whew, another doozy. Mega Piranha gets it all right, from story to acting to FX and direction, this is just a perfect example of an Asylum film. No wonder it's so beloved. My only cringe came with the awkward, almost-inexplicable kiss between Tiffany and Paul Logan. Even upon multiple viewings, the love story in this I still don't see. But as exciting as seeing that again was, as exciting as the whole evening's been, it's all only been but a precursor to the moment we now find ourselves on the threshold of, the world television (west cast) premiere of easily the most anticipated film of the year...

Mega Python vs Gatoroid (!!!!!)



Man, this is some awesome stuff. Now, these are observation notes, my review of the film, but don't worry, I won't spoil it, promise. 

There are the ladies - both looking fabulous - and here comes the flick. Hold on! 

9:02PM Oh jeez. I think I've mentioned a time or two how scared I am of snakes, like really, really scared. Fake ones I can handle, but those there, those are very, very real.

On the plus side, DG's character is already proving herself to be a badass. Debbie fits that personality well; she's quite believable as a over-confident bitch. And I swear, that's a compliment.


Oh jeez, so many real snakes. Not cool.

9:05PM MPvG was written by Naomi Selfman, the same brilliant pen behind MSvC, so you know she knows her mega movies. 

Ooh, ooh, there's TIffany! And wow, one scene in and you can already sense how she's grown as an actress. She's less stiff, more even with her delivery, just generally more at ease.

9:09PM Hillbillies, apparently, despite being largely racist, have a penchant for mail order brides. I'm learning already.

So the basic gist is this: Debbie's a fanatic animal rights activist who frees a bunch of snakes from a lab and lets them go in the Everglades. Not an indigenous species, the naturally F-up the ecosystem, specifically the endangered alligator population. Tiffany is a gator-lovin' local sheriff. That's about as far as we've gotten.

9:14PM That's Carey Van Dyke playing Tiffany's fiance Justin. He's Barry's son and Shane's brother, and here exudes a casual confidence, a typical small town tough guy with a heart of gold. And Kathryn Johnson as Tiff's sister-in-law-enforcement is always a welcome addition to any cast.

Shh...first scene with Tiff and DG face to face; it's like Heat, but not a letdown. 

9:18PM First commercial. Bitch count: 3

So far this is pretty fun, it's light-hearted but not in a self-aware sense, rather just adopting not a lighter, but a less serious tone. When films like this feature military or political characters at their center, they tend to be heavier, more stern; but in instances like this, where it's regular people at the heart of the story - that is, people not trained to handle extreme situations - there's a more coloquial feel to things that I personally enjoy. I mean, I expect people with access to nuclear weapons to be able to handle most anything. It's when extreme stuff happens to normal people that I find the most to enjoy, and so far this film seems to be of that frame of mind.

9:26PM Kevin M. Horton as the younger deputy is turning out to be a notable member of the ensemble. I wouldn't call him comic relief, necessarily, but he is a light spot, and fun to watch.

9:29PM Man, like I said above, usually fake snakes don't mess with me, but these - are there are a lot of them - are pretty good, FX-wise, which is to say, I don't like them one bit. They are not skimping on the "mega" part of "mega python." I am not going to sleep well tonight at all. 

9:31PM Tiffany's rage-acting has gotten much, much better. 

Second commercial. Bitch count: 5

9:37PM Whoever just googled "Debbie Gibson feet pics" and got my blog, gross, and sorry for not having any pics. 

9:40PM "We need a bigger gator!" Uh-oh... 

9:42PM Just a note to say that this film has a unique look to it, that is, unique for Asylum films. It looks crisper, the action is smaller-scale (you know, local destruction instead of global) but sharper. Could be due to a bigger budget, or could be do that I'm seeing it for the first time on TV. Either way, Ms. Lambert's crafting herself a fine film here.

Oh, and it looks like - not a big spoiler here - whatever Gatoroid is, he's going to be steroid-induced.

9:47PM Enter the A. (Martinez) He's a steely herpetologist with a great peppered James-Hetfield-mustache who drops the bomb that the pythons are getting more mega. But they're not the only ones...

And...wait...a minute...Debbie Gibson pop song...metabolic graphics...this...is...MEGA PYTHON vs GATOROID!!!

9:52PM Yo...Gatoroid is well worth the wait. Looks better than Supercroc, more believable than Crocosaurus (sometimes big is too big. that's what she...nevermind). And apparently the term "gatoroid," like "python" here, stays the same whether referring to a singular or plural of the species. Awesome. 

9:57PM Another commercial. Bitch count still at 5. Here at the halfway point, I have to say I'm pretty pleased: the story's lively and moving along at a good pace, the acting is great across the board, both leads have come a long way from their previous mega-roles, and the FX so far have been pretty f'ing rad. And I got a feeling the best stuff is still to come. They keep mentioning a monkey...

10:03PM That bearded hillbilly fella, Kaiwi Lyman, who also appeared in MSvC, has an uncredited role in the Hollywood Thor as a viking. Nice to see a fellow beardo getting work. 

Ooh...cocktail party! Which can only mean there's a catifght looming. And...oh god...not monkey, Monkee. Mickey Dolenz. Hilarious that even though I knew he was in this, the way the story approached it, I was totally suckered off-guard. Nicely done, Ms. Selfman. Mickey looks good, by the way, and still has those acting chops.

10:12PM Oh yeah...I made desert:


That, my friends, is a two-pound rice krispie treat I frosted myself. That's the kind of time and weird devotion I have.

10:15PM Tiffany's sonic contribution, "Serpentine," is getting its air play. That song's actually growing on me. 

10:17PM And it's on now...CATFIGHT!!!

Honestly, the chemistry between these two, as rivals, is great. And I know they're all good for real, but they really seem to bring out the bitch in each other in the best possible way. Whatever camp value people attached to this because of the leads, fine, but from here on out, I don't think - within the genre, at least - these two have to be thought of as singers first. I don't know if TV movies are eligible, but this scene should definitely go up for Best Fight at the MTV Movie Awards. Make an exception; it's worth it. And the music that accompanies said fight? Hilariously appropriate.

10:18PM Everyone in Florida is armed! 

10:26PM Commerical. Bitch count: 7

Getting down to the home stretch here, the last half hour, act three, and I have to say that thus far I've been nothing but impressed. This is just good fun, thrilling and violent, light on its feet and packed with humor, horror, camp and a slight tough of self-awareness that has yet to feel contrived or overdone. It is what it promised to be: a helluva enjoyable way to spend a Saturday night.

10:30PM Now the terror goes metropolitan...nice. All this was missing was explosions.

10:31PM ASYLUM BLIMP!!! BALLER!!!

10:44PM Being extra careful now in this last bit not to give anything away. The FX are still great; the more I see - and there's a lot to see - the more I like. The snakes will be slithering in my nightmares for sure, and the gators are massive terrors. How they stack up to Supercroc and Crocosaurus is a guaranteed creature feature post sometime in the near, near future. 

10:51PM If there's anyone actually watching along with me, I hope you're having as much fun as I am...two words are coming to mind: Cult Classic

11:02PM Wow. That's really all I can say in the moment: wow. I'm pretty spent from all this, emotionally frazzled, you could say, and I want to give the film 24 hours to marinate in my mind before I post my overall thoughts, but for now, in the moment, I'm pleased. Everything I said I liked above was well-supported by an exciting and dynamic climax. In the moment, I liked it better than MSvC, and you guys know how much I liked that one. Check back on Monday for my final thoughts and hopefully some ratings info that puts viewership tonight over 2.5 million, the current record, held by - ick - Sharktopus. I'm predicting 2.8. We'll see. Anywho, thanks for indulging me, if you did, and following this insane whim. Who knows? Maybe we'll get the chance to do this again in March when Battle of Los Angeles gets its SyFy premiere. Okay guys, sweet dreams, thanks for tuning in, and as always, stay committed!

P.S. final bitch count: 8