inmate profile: Paul Bales

Continuing to shine the Committed spotlight on the talent behind The Asylum's upcoming masterpiece Nazis at the Center of the Earth, we turn now to the imagination behind it all, the film's screenwriter (and one of The Asylum's 3 producers) Paul Bales.

NATCOTE marks Mr. Bales 8th script for the studio, and the list is pretty impressive: Killers 2, Legion of the Dead (which he also directed), The Da Vinci Treasure, 100 Million B.C., Mega Fault, Sherlock Homes and 2010 Moby Dick. All good films, but for my money, Sherlock and Moby are among the best the studio's ever put out; the former managed to mockbust not only the Holmes character, but also Robert Downey Jr.'s recent filmography, and the latter put a convincing modern twist on an established tale, plus gave Barry Bostwick reason to make his own whale-killin' gun.

Add all this together and what you get is one more reason to be super-psyched for the film event of 2012. Catch Nazis at the Center of the Earth on DVD, Blu-Ray and VOD on April 24th.

2012: Fifteen Years of Asylum Greatness and Counting!

A quick post here to acknowledge that 2012 marks The Asylum's 15th year in business, in which time they have produced 100 movies completely independently. How do I know this? A little poster The Asylum tweeted yesterday told me:

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be airbrushing that onto the side of a van real soon. I mean, dig it: Moby Dick, Mega Shark, Mega Python, Gatoroid, a Terminator, a Transmorpher, H.M.S. Titantic 2, a zombie that from here looks like Geoff Meed, a car going at least 200MPH and, oh yeah, a 2 headed shark. There's also a pretty rad accompanying video that hits on the company's highlights of the last 15 years that makes its debut on the 2 Headed Shark Attack DVD, out January 31st.

If this is what the last 15 years have given us, who can even conceive of how incredible the next 15 will be? 2012 is already shaping up to one of the busiest and most interesting years for The Asylum, and they've only revealed half a dozen flicks so far. As usual, come back here often for the lowdown on any and all things Asylum.

creature feature: Moby Dick

I had the pleasure of re-watching Trey Stokes and Paul Bales' modern-masterpiece 2010 Moby Dick the other day, and it reminded me I had yet to shine the Committed creature feature spotlight on this titular, terrible white whale. Well, consider that oversight overturned.

Now, it should be noted that while this film, and its whale, are based on the Herman Melville's novel of the same name - minus the 2010, of course* - this is by no means the same whale. Melville's cetacean is vicious, yes, but it's still a conceivable whale, size-wise. 2010 Moby is amped up on whey protein or something, cuz mofo's the size of...I honestly don't have anything comparable in mind. It's huge, the kind of huge that can seize a nuclear sub in its jaws the way I would a baguette.

Furthermore, while the whale in Melville's classic was a bane on the existence of one very obsessive sea captain and the unfortunate crew serving under him, 2010 Moby is a full-blown menace to society, destroying everything he comes across, from the sub above to the whale-watching vessel above that, to the army chopper below. Dude just wants to kill, no rhyme, no reason, other than being the biggest predator in the history of history and having, as such, a comparable appetite.

Massive, sharply-toothed - no baleen here - and covered blowhole to belly in tough, thick, near impenetrable blubber; even Greenpeace would want this thing dead. I could offer speculative conjecture as to who would win in a fight, Moby or Mega Shark, Moby or Giant Octopus, Moby or Crocosaurus and so on, but the simple answer is, Moby would just swallow them like Jonahs, fight over. 

So a Committed salute, then, to what might just be the top of the Asylum food-chain, the Alpha predator in a menagerie of alpha predators: the melanin-deprived marine terror that is 2010 Moby Dick. If you haven't laid witness to the film yet, remedy that error toot suite.


*can you imagine how sweet it would have been if Melville had applied his nautical fetish to the sort of speculative fiction of Wells and Verne? I think the closest we get is China Mieville.

New Asylum Title Announced (Kinda)

So, in this post over on The Asylum site, producer/writer Paul Bales gives us a look at Asylum coverage from around the world, including this list of the so-called "Worst of Cannes" - the "worst" projects offered at the prestigious festival - on which a project they "haven't even made" made an appearance. And the title of that project? Brace yourself:

NAZIS AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH

Holy fucking shit, right?! If that's not the greatest title/premise for a movie, I don't know what is.

Furthermore, when I expressed my unbridled elation for such a project on The Asylum's comments board, Paul Bales himself replied to my reply saying not only is the project legit, but it springs from his very pen, the same pen that wrought Legion of the Dead, 2010 Moby Dick, Sherlock Holmes, MegaFault and 100 Million BC, among others.

No word what the plot may be, other than a brief mention of "mutant zombie Nazis threaten[ing] to overrun the world from their secret underground cavern," which could only be a reporter's speculation, but honestly, with a title as informative as that, as long as all the major elements are in play - Nazis, a secret world within the world, some kind of drill-car - this film will be one of the greatest things B-cinema ever conjured. Nazis. At the center of the Earth. C'mon, people, get excited!

inmate profile: Trey Stokes

As you well know, this month's Asylum release is the polar-apocalyptic 2012 Ice Age; as you may also know, in the weeks leading up to a new release I like to shine a little spotlight on the creative types behind the project. Earlier I profiled Ice Age writers Victoria Dadi and Paul Sinor, and now it's time to turn our attention to the man behind the curtain, the captain of the ship, el jefe himself, the film's director, Trey Stokes.

Not only is Mr. Stokes an accomplished director, he's also known for his puppeteering work on such films as the 1988 Blob remake with Kevin Dillon, Species, Robocop 2, Team America: World Police and James Cameron's only legit masterpiece (IMO), The Abyss, on which Mr. Stokes served as head puppeteer. Mr. Stokes has also worked in other realms of visual effects, including animation for Starship Troopers and My Favorite Martian, and most recently as the lead motion capture integrator for Robert Zemeckis' The Polar Express. Not to mention the guy's stints as an editor, cinematographer, camera operator, actor and even motion simulation programmer for two Universal Studios rides, The Funtastic World of Hanna Barbera, and Jimmy Neutron's Nicktoon Blast!


As a director, Stokes first gained prominence with Pink Five, a Star Wars parody series that blew up online and eventually got the Lucas stamp of approval as the bearded-one's selection for fan film of the year in 2003. The next year, the sequel, Pink Five Strikes Back, won the audience award in the same competition. A final installment, Return of Pink Five, has been completed and is awaiting release. He is also the driving creative force behind the sci-fi webseries Ark.


But for Asylum fans, Mr. Stokes is best known for his amazing work directing last year's leviathan of a film (and my personal favorite of the 2010 Asylum offerings). 2010 Moby Dick. What does this mean for 2012 Ice Age? It means there's a proven director and visual effects wiz at the helm, and by what I can tell from the trailer, he's pulling out all the stops on this one. 

2012 Ice Age drops on DVD June 28. Don't worry, I'll remind you.

inmate profile(s): Writers Paul Sinor and Victoria Dadi

2012 Ice Age is The Asylum film being released at this month, so inmate profiles over the next few weeks are going to be dedicated to members of that film's creative staff, starting with writing team extraordinaire, Paul Sinor and Victoria Dadi, also responsible for last year's highly-enjoyable Airline Disaster.

Beginning with Mr. Sinor, this guy's no mere writer. He spent 30 years in the Army, all of it as a decorated Infantry Officer, and retiring as a Lieutenant Colonel. In 1987, Sinor received a life-changing opportunity when he was assigned by the Department of Defense to serve as Technical Advisor for the CBS Vietnam-drama "Tour of Duty" - which incidentally I was a huge fan of as a kid; it's was my first introduction of the Stones' "Paint It Black." In 2004, after being recalled to active duty, the Department of the Army assigned him the designation of Entertainment Liaison to the Film and Television Industry in Los Angeles. As such, Sinor has amassed an impressive resume, working on the first two Transformers films, The Invasion, I Am Legend, The Day The Earth Stood Still and even a few films The Asylum hasn't mockbusted, like G.I. Joe. and Jessica Simpson's Major Movie Star (aka Private Valentne). 2012 Ice Age is his second script for The Asylum, and if his first, Airline Disaster, is any indication, the action will be tight, the science sound and the response accurate; all in all, a tense and realistic sci-fi thriller.

Which brings us to the other half of the team, Victoria Dadi, who also works with Sinor at Valhalla Military, a Technical Advising outfit. 2012 Ice Age is also Ms. Dadi's second film for The Asylum, and in addition to her script work on Airline Disaster, she also served as a military advisor on Titanic II for director Shane Van Dyke.

I really did enjoy the script for Airline Disaster, it felt authentic, never sensational (sensational in a bad way, I mean), spectacularly tense and best of all, to me at least, frighteningly believable. When I heard these were the writers on board for Ice Age, my interest doubled. It doubled again when I heard the film was to be directed by Trey Stokes of 2010 Moby Dick renown, but that's a profile for another time...

Asylum Saturday on SyFy - THIS Saturday!

So this coming Saturday, a day I'm officially declaring a holiday, the fine, fine folks at SyFy are showing not one, not two, not even three but four Asylum films, and not a one of them at 3 in the morning! 

Things start off with the undisputed classic Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus at 1 p.m., then a little break followed by a six-hour mega-marathon that includes Mega Piranha at 5 p.m., Mega Python vs. Gatoroid at 7 and the world television premiere of 2010 Moby Dick, starring Barry Bostwick and Renee O'Connor, written by Paul Bales and directed by Trey Stokes, at 9 p.m. 

So whatever else it is you thought you were doing Saturday, cancel it; four of The Asylum's best are on the boob tube, and you, dear boob, simply can't afford to miss this rare alignment.

inmate profle: Alex Yellen

 

As regular readers of Committed know, in the weeks leading up to the release of an Asylum film I like to throw out a few more inmate profiles than normal, spotlighting the creative talent behind the impending film. As 200mph opens on in only a few weeks, on April 26th, I thought we'd get started. First up: Asylum cinematographer extraordinaire Alex Yellen.

There isn't a lot of info on Mr. Yellen out there, so his work will have to speak for itself, which it more than does:

Yellin has served as cinematographer on fifteen Asylum films, including half of the studio's output last year and a good chunk of their work thus far this year. A sample of his work: 6 Guns, 2010 Moby Dick, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, Airline Disaster, I Am Omega and 100 Million B.C. What's more, Yellen has racing-cinema experience: he served as cinematographer on The Asylum's last speed thriller, Street Racer.

And as impossible as it may seem, Yellen has somehow found the time for work outside Asylum walls: on both the indie drama Quinceanera and the Leigh-Scott-written, Griff-Furst directed Wolvesbayne he served as the second unit's director of photography.

It's obvious The Asylum trusts this guy's eye quite a bit, and with good reason; for my money, 2010 Moby Dick and 100 Million B.C. are among the best-looking Asylum films. We'll get a nice good look at the work of Yellen not only this April 26th when 200mph is released, but also again next month with the release of Almighty Thor, again in June with the release of 2012 Ice Age and at least one more time this November with the release of Born Bad. And it's probably the safest bet out there that his name will pop up on at least another film or two later in the year.

Check out his website here.

Alex Yellen, consider yourself saluted.

Creature Feature: The Plane from Airline Disaster

I felt a little weird adding The Plane from Airline Disaster to last year's list of non-human Looney nominees; but truth be told, I thought it was as much as character as any creature that reared its ugly head in an Asylum film last year, so I went for it. Heck, that's why the category was called "best performance by a non-human" instead of "best performance by a creature." What surprised me even more, however, was how many votes it received from you guys. The Plane came in a secure third in its category, when truthfully I barely expected it to register. But my initial assessment was correct: the plane in Airline Disaster is as central to the film and as much a physical presence as is Moby Dick in Moby Dick, or either Mega Shark or Crocosaurus in, well, you get the point. So I thought, given it's prominent position in my readers' fancy, I'd give the plane its full due and devote this creature feature to it.

There's nothing super or mega about this plane, spatially-speaking; it's a big ole plane, sure, but it's not the biggest ever or the heaviest or anything like that - it isn't the Titanic of the skies. There are multiple levels, kinda perfect for a band of terrorist hijackers looking to move about relatively undetected, and it does have four massive engines capable of sucking up cows and grinding them alive. Furthermore, its aerodynamic design is supposed to significantly cut down on fuel consumption. But again, these traits aren't all that distinguishing. What sets this plane - the first in Coastal Airlines' much-touted Starquest program - apart from all others, what makes it a target, in essence, is that it boasts to be run solely by computerized controls: "fully automatic from takeoff to landing." Pilots, so it's implied, are afterthoughts here, visual comfort for the passengers but not nearly as in control of the flight as we're accustomed to. In short, and perhaps oversimplifying, it's a robot plane. This has its advantages and disadvantages.

 Advantage: that human error factor which equates for roughly 70-80% of all airline disasters is avoided.

Disadvantage: you know, no one's in charge of the fucking plane.





That's not to say there's no way for a human pilot to regain control of the plane - of course there is, "innovative" isn't always synonymous with "suicidal" - but she's a bitch to control, a big, beautiful whale of a plane that takes more than power to steer, it takes an steel will stronger than that massive tube hurtling over our nation's capital toward the icy, unforgiving waters of the Potomac*.

Overall then, the plane in Airline Disaster becomes, in fact, more of a presence than other notable non-humans; after all, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus might be about those non-humans, but it also doesn't simultaneously take place inside them. The plane is villain, victim, setting, and, ultimately, hero. That's a lot of personas for something without an intellect (circuit boards aside).


So while the plane may never find itself in a "vs" film, or even get a sequel, it was one of the hardest-working, if not the hardest-working, non-human in The Asylum's employ last year, I'm convinced. Sorry for ever doubting you, big guy.




*just ask the British

My Looney Picks: Committed's Favorties of 2010

I want it stated right off the bat and underlined for effect: these are NOT the official results for the 2010 Looney Awards. They ARE NOT. These are merely my personal picks in each category, and I should also add that though they are being posted today, I made my selections more than a month ago, so they have been in no way influenced by the actual results, which will be released tomorrow.

NOT THE LOONEY RESULTS!!!!!

I think I've made myself clear.





Now then, on to the festivities:


Best Supporting Actress

Lindsey McKeon - Airline Disaster

As Special Agent Gina Vitale, McKeon brought a ferocious capability to her character, crafting a complex woman who was simultaneously strong, severe, and sexy. McKeon is no stranger to Asylum films - see also The Land That Time Forgot - but hopefully now that she's an award-winning actress, they can boost her up from supporting roles to a full-on lead. 










Best Supporting Actor

Geoff Meed - 6 Guns

Easily this year's vilest (human) villain, Geoff Meed has made quite the name for himself over at The Asylum playing an array of gruff, tough, general badass characters (I Am Omega, 100 Million BC, Airline Disaster). In 6 Guns, his savagery is matched only by his intensity, and Mr. Meed transforms himself into a terror truly worth undertaking the drastic measures our widow heroine chooses to undertake; he is truly a villain worth killing.  







Best Script

 Paul Bales - Sherlock Holmes

Tackling a character like Sherlock Holmes is hard enough: easily one of the most beloved in all of literature, there is a disciplined intelligence to the stories of Holmes that is the character's own, and to write for such a man requires strict adherence to that intelligence. Well, Bales not only stayed true to the character, he infused the story with some of the author's other literary affectations - like dinosaurs - and even found a way to tie in a plot line resonant of Hollywood-Holmes Robert Downey Jr.'s other recent blockbuster franchise.






Best Nonhuman

Moby Dick - 2010: Moby Dick

Just as big as Mega Shark, just as ferocious as Crocosaurus, and laced with a mammalian intellect that dwarfs even the super-smart school mentality of the Mega Piranha, Moby Dick was a big ol' badass with a snowhilled hump riddled with centuries' worth of harpoons. Vengeful, merciless and damn-near unstoppable; in other words, the perfect villain.


Best Actress

Sage Mears - 6 Guns

More than any other female character this year, Ms. Mears' Selina Stevens, violated widow turned wrathful force of vengeance, carried the brunt of her film's emotional weight almost solely upon her own shoulders. And this was no easy weight to bear: over the films 95 minutes she's required to be a happy mother and loving wife, a victim of unimaginable horrors, a hopeless, reckless drunk, a petulant, impatient pupil and finally a cold, calm, calculated vigilante. Not bad for her first film.







Best Actor

Barry Bostwick - 2010: Moby Dick

Who else? As great as the other nominees in this category were, no one matched the on-screen intensity Bostwick brought to conflicted Captain Ahab. I mean, Gregory Peck played the role to near perfection, not to mention the likes of Patrick Stewart and (upcoming) William Hurt; these were no small shoes ("shoe," I guess is more appropriate) to step into. But Bostwick made the character his own, granting him a fevered passion the likes of which had never been captured by other actors. Plus, he made his own harpoon gun! There is nothing cooler than that. Nothing.





Best Director

Rachel Lee Goldenberg - Sherlock Holmes


This was the toughest category, in my estimation, but when all was said and done, it was the direction by Ms. Goldenberg I found to be the most enjoyable, the most thrilling, and the most stylish. Sherlock Holmes had a look all its own, delightfully Victorian with a healthy dash of steampunk aesthetics that set its helmer just ahead of the pack. Furthermore, her ability to pace and guide what could arguably have been the year's most serpentine and intricate plot is also worth touting. 


Best Feature

2010: Moby Dick

I suppose in the interest of total disclosure I should remind my readers that I have such a devotion to the novel by Herman Melville this film is based on - the greatest novel ever penned by an American - that I have a very tasteful scrimshaw-esque tattoo of said whale on my right forearm. But my body art aside, 2010: Moby Dick was easily the most enjoyable film - for me, at least - of the year. The plot was faithful to the original while establishing a wholly unique world, the acting was top-notch, the FX brutally awesome and the direction, by Mr. Trey Stokes, helped artfully tie all these elements together into a veritable bouquet of a killer whale movie (not Orca, but, you know...). An ambitious undertaking from the get-go, 2010: Moby Dick fired on all cylinders and succeeded on all fronts.



So there you have it, my personal picks for the best of Asylum's 2010 films. Agree with me? Disagree? If so, hold your tongue, because the real winners will be announced tomorrow, noontime here on the West Coast. See you then!

A Look Back, A Look Ahead

On this, the final day of 2010, I thought it appropriate that we take a look back on the work done by The Asylum this last year, as well as peek into the future at the projects already lined up for 2011, now only hours away. A reminder that every single film released by The Asylum this year is up for Best Picture in the 1st Annual Looney Awards for Excellence in Asylum Films (voting ends Feb. 2, 2011). 

For a word from The Asylum themselves on the great year they've had, check out this morning's message to us all and click here.

So, without further adieu, a look back at the films that made 2010 possibly the biggest, most successful year yet in The Asylum's illustrious history:

Sherlock Holmes
directed by Rachel Lee Goldenberg
written by Paul Bales
starring Ben Syder, Gareth David-Lloyd, Dominic Keating


released 1/26/2010

Meteor Apocalypse
directed by Micho Rutare
written by Brian Brinkman & Micho Rutare
starring Joe Lando, Cooper Harris, Claudia Christian

released 2/23/2010

6 Guns
directed by Shane Van Dyke
written by Geoff Meed
starring Barry Van Dyke, Greg Evigan, Brian Wimmer, Sage Mears

released 3/30/2010

Mega Piranha
directed by Eric Forsberg
written by Eric Forsberg
starring Paul Logan, Tiffany, Barry Williams

released 4/27/2010

7 Adventures of Sinbad
directed by Adam Silver & Ben Hayflick
written by Adam Silver & Ben Hayflick
starring Patrick Muldoon, Bo Svenson, Kelly O'Leary

released 5/25/2010 

Airline Disaster
directed by John J. Willis, III
written by Paul Sinor & Victoria Dadi
starring Meredith Baxter, Scott Valentine, Lindsey McKeon

released 6/29/2010 

#1 Cheerleader Camp
directed by Mark Quod
written by Naomi Selfman
starring Jay Gillespie, Seth Cassell, Erica Duke, Harmony Blossom, Charlene Tilton


released 7/27/2010

Titanic II
directed by Shane Van Dyke
written by Shane Van Dyke
starring Shane Van Dyke, Marie Westbrook, Bruce Davison, Brooke Burns


released 8/24/2010

8213 Gacy House
directed by N/A (Anthony Fankhauser)
written by N/A (Anthony Fankhauser)
starring Mike Gaglio, Rachel Riley, Jim Lewis


released 9/28/2010

MILF
directed by Scott Wheeler
written by Jonny Haug
starring Jack Cullison, Phillip Marlett, Molinee Green, Jamie Bernadette


released 10/26/2010

2010: Moby Dick
directed by Trey Stokes
written by Paul Bales
starring Barry Bostwick, Renee O'Connor, Adam Grimes


released 11/23/2010

Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
directed by Christopher Ray
written by Naomi Selfman
starring Jaleel White, Gary Stretch, Sarah Lieving, Robert Picardo


released 12/21/2010








And now a look ahead at the productions already on the docket for 2011:

Princess and the Pony

directed by Rachel Lee Goldenberg

written by Bill Parker & Rachel Lee Goldenberg

starring Fiona Perry, Bobbi Jo Lathan, Ron Hajak

to be released 1/25/2011

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

directed by mary lambert

written by Naomi Selfman

starring Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, A Martinez

to be released on SyFy 1/29/2011

Battle of Los Angeles

directed by Mark Atkins

written by Mark Atkins

starring Kel Mitchell, Nia Peeples, Theresa Jun-Tao

to be released 3/15/2011

Almighty Thor

directed by Christopher Ray

written by Eric Forsberg

starring Cody Deal, Richard Grieco, Kevin Nash, Patricia Velasquez

to be released 5/10/2011

Ballistica

directed by Gary Jones

written by Tony Kandah & Sean Rourke

starring Paul Logan, Martin Kove, Robert Davi, Andrew Divoff

to be released 5/17/2011

2012: Ice Age

directed by ???

written by ???

starring ???

release date TBA

Born Bad

directed by ???

written by ???

starring ???

release date TBA

200 MPH: Midnight Racers

directed by ???

written by ???

starring ???

release date TBA

And there you have it, the year behind us, the year ahead. Speaking as to the year ahead, there's only eight projects announced thus far, meaning we can count on at least three or four more coming to light as we proceed into 2011. And as always, rest assured that as soon as any news drops on these or any other projects, you'll know a minute or so after I do. Happy New Year, thanks for reading, be safe and viva La Asylum!!!

1st Furry Valentine Back to Being Princess and the Pony - And Gets a Poster

Things have come full circle, title-wise, in regards to The Asylum's first foray into family filmmaking: what began as Princess and the Pony changed it's name to 1st Furry Valentine (presumably for the same reason Moby Dick had a 2010 in front of it) but now has changed its named back to Princess and the Pony. Plus, they've given us a poster that appeals to every single 8 year old girl in the world: a princess in a pink dress, a pony, and a cute little dog, just to top things off.


I think this is a good move. I'm a big supporter of thwarting traditional ordering and placement techniques by prefixing titles with numbers, but in this one it never really made sense. First of all, the arrangement of words in the former title sounds kinda, well, kinda lewd, quite frankly, like, you know, this isn't a family film at all but a raucous sex comedy about a young man's first experiments with a trendy kink. And I'm sure that inference says more about me than it does the fine, chaste folks at The Asylum, but it rubbed me the wrong way (ew.). Secondly, while it might be biologically accurate, I don't think of horses as furry, I just don't. Rabbits are furry; bears are furry; chinchillas are furry; horses... horses are, I don't know, too slick to be furry. That adjective never worked for me. 

Anywho, bottom line, this name change is, I think, a good thing, and is sure to detract hater critics from being able to make the same lewd jokes I just did. The difference? I do it out of love, mad, crazy love. So skip over to the webpage for this one if you need an update on the synopsis. Princess and the Pony, written by Rachel Lee Goldenberg & Bill Parker and directed by Goldenberg, comes to DVD January 25, 2011.

 

whispers from another cell: News From Within The Asylum

2010 Moby Dick Released Today on DVD! (Kind of ) Commentary This Weekend!

That's right, today is MD-Day, so rush out right now to your local, independent video store or other legitimate rental source and snatch this one off the racks. Better yet, click over to The Asylum store and purchase a copy. It's well worth it. I've extolled the virtues of this one already, and I'm telling you, $17.99 is a deal for action of this magnitude. The longer I sit with the image of the whale, the more I love it. Melville would have been proud, I believe. 


But you don't have to take my word for it: hit up this link to The Asylum's blog, where they have a list of reviews from around the web. Careful though, spoilers abound, and though the story at origin you might know, there are certain Asylum stamps (courtesy of Paul Bales) on this one you don't want spoiled.


Once you have seen it, indulge in this special treat leaked to me by Trey Stokes himself, the man in the director's chair of 2010MD: Mr. Stokes and some colleagues have been doing weekly podcasts for nearly two years called Down In Front, in which they pick a film to insightfully analyze/savagely ridicule, and this week, they're giving the treatment to MD. Since Asylum movies - as yet - don't come with director commentaries, this will be the closest thing we've gotten so far. Stokes says the podcast will go live Sunday or Monday, and can be heard at www.downinfront.net. 

And by the by, for those who doubt my commitment to Moby Dick, my utter respect and pure love, not for The Asylum movie, necessarily, but rather the work it's based on, and therefore, in some small way, I guess, any incarnation it takes, I offer the flesh of my right forearm:

I don't make Dick jokes.


Mega Python vs. Gatoroid Gets a Release Date

So SyFy made it official today and announced a long-awaited release date for the Debbie Gibson-Tiffany toe-to-toe grudge match that is Mega Python vs. Gatoroid. January 29th is the date, 9p.m. on SyFy. That's a Saturday night, so tell your lady she's gonna have to either make other plans or kick it at home, because that's the night every man who was a pre-teen in the late 80's has nothing better to do, period. Let the countdown begin.





Less Than One Month Until Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus!

I know it seems too good to be true, but it isn't: as of today, there are exactly four weeks before the most eagerly anticipated non-Wizard sequel of the year hits our hot, greedy little hands. On December 21st Mega Shark is back in action, taking on Africa's deadliest secret, the ginormous crocosaurus. Who will win? Who will lose? How many innocents will die needlessly in the brawl? Hopefully scores, because expectations are definitely high for this one. Still no trailer, but I wouldn't be surprised if one drops in the next 48 hours, seeing as how 2010 Moby Dick is out and MSvC is next in the cue for release. Rest assured, as soon as I see it, you'll see it.