inmate profile: Lilan Bowden

For the last couple of weeks, Committed has been spotlighting various cast and crew members of the next Asylum release, Nazis at the Center of the Earth, now only a week away. That spotlight shines now on actress Lilan Bowden, an up-and-coming actress/writer/host making her third appearance in an Asylum film.

After working in a couple of shorts, Ms. Bowden made her feature debut as a television reporter in Princess and the Pony. Her second feature was the polar opposite of her first, Zombie Apocalypse, in which she played arrow-wielding badass "Myrah." And now, she plays the character "May Yun" in NATCOTE. Pretty impressive couple of years she's had, I'd say; sounds like The Asylum's taken a shine to her, and who can blame them. On screen Ms. Bowden is that delicate combination of strong and fragile, a real person in unreal situations, making her terror and resolve palpable things that resonate with any viewer. And with the spattering of Asylum films yet to come this year - at least 9 as of this posting - it could be that we haven't seen the last of Ms. Bowden this year. If that isn't enough to tide you over, though, you can always catch her as a host of "Short Notice," a talk show "featuring Asian American short films, wrapped around candid & eye-opening conversations with the filmmakers behind them."

As for the immediate future, however, line up now (cuz there will be lines for this one, at least at your local Redbox depository) to see her shine in the year's most highly- and hotly-anticipated film, as well as a contender for greatest film title ever, Nazis at the Center of the Earth, out next Tuesday, April 24th everywhere people enjoy entertainment.

inmate re-profile: Rachel Goldenberg

In honor of the DVD release of Grimm's Snow White on the 13th of March, Committed has been spotlighting the creative forces behind the film, and I thought the next inmate profiled should be the director, Rachel Goldenberg, whose resume with The Asylum is ridiculously impressive.

Besides the above-mentioned and forthcoming fairy-tale revamp, Ms. Goldenberg also helmed the well-received Princess and the Pony, the delightfully steampunk'd Sherlock Holmes and the strangely catchy Sunday School Musical. But beneath these three headlining gigs are a few years crammed to the hilt with production work for our favorite studio. Dig these credentials:


First Assistant Director on: 2012 Ice Age, The 7 Adventures of Sinbad, Princess of Mars, 2012 Supernova, Mega Fault, The Terminators, Monster, Alien vs. Hunter, I Am Omega


Line Producer on: Mega Fault, Dragonquest, Countdown:Jerusalem, 18 Year Old Virgin, Death Racers, Street Racer


And as though all this wasn't enough, she also wrote and edited two of her three directed-films for The Asylum, and over the last year or so has directed a handful of shorts for Funny or Die featuring the likes of Courteney Cox, Nia Vardelos, Bryan Cranston, Eric Stonestreet et al. Girl's got more hats than a Lids Store. If The Asylum put out Wheaties boxes (I know, work with me here), Rachel Goldenberg would for sure be one of the featured.

There's no doubt Ms. Goldenberg has a bright, bright, bright future ahead of her. My only hope is that she sticks around The Asylum long enough to make a few more films. I mean, it's a little late, but I'd line up for an Asylum Sherlock sequel; just sayin'...

That date again for the release of Ms. Goldenberg's latest film, Grimm's Snow White,  is March 13th. Add it to your cues now!

Take This Lollipop - Trust Me!!!

I'm not going to say too much because I don't want to spoil any of this, but take a minute and head over to www.takethislollipop.com for one of the most frighteningly-interactive uses of the internet I've ever seen. The site, designed by the older brother of Asylum producer David Michael Latt, features Bill Oberst Jr. (A Haunting in Salem, Princess and the Pony, Born Bad) in a role he was born to play and is absolutely perfect for. So go, check it out, but you've been warned...

Creature Feature Catch-Up

I know not all of my readers have been with me since the beginning, and I also know I'm a lousy tagger. The combination of these things means that there are a lost of posts that perhaps you haven't seen. That being the case, every now and again I like to post a megapost, if you will, that can catch you up with all the posts under a certain heading. This week's heading: creature features; below, please find a complete listing of every published feature to date. Enjoy!

Mega Shark * Supercroc * The Ghost of John Wayne Gacy * Pod People Plants

Mega Piranha * Giant Octopus * The Plane from Airline Disaster

Crocosaurus vs. Gatoroid * God * The Pony from Princess and the Pony

creature feature: The Pony from Princess and the Pony

Not so much a "creature" in The Asylum's sense, as it is an "animal," the pony featured in our favorite studio's first full-out family flick is still one of god's "creatures," so thus he/she has earned a spot here.

And I'll be honest with you, there's not a lot of info on this particular horse out there, other than his/her name - her, I'm hoping - which is Twinkle. Nice name for a horse. 

That's really all there is on Twinkle. And believe me, I looked. But the sheer madness that comes from poring through Google returns on the phrases "princess and pony horse," "twinkle princess and pony," and perhaps most disturbingly, "twinkle pony asylum," is enough to make you puke cotton candy.

However, being the resourceful blogger I am, I guessed at the type of horse Little Miss Twinkle is, and found info on that. Ha!

So then, if my image-comparison skills are adequate, Twinkle is some sort of Arabian Horse, which Wikipedia is quick to note are distinguishable by their distinctive head shape and "high tail carriage." Awesome. Furthermore, Arabians are like the Adam & Eve of horses, one of the oldest breeds still in existence, dating back some 4,500 years (holy cow!) and an element in the bloodlines of every major racing breed in the world (insert your own horse/Da Vinci Code joke here; i couldn't think of one).

And here's an interesting tidbit: seems the height distinction between a pony and a horse (not an age distinction, as I naively assumed) as laid out by the United States Equestrian Foundation states that a "pony" is any equine that stands 58 inches (or 14.2 "hands" in the lingo) or less; a "horse" is any equine that stands above 58 inches (still 14.2 "hands"). Arabians, like Twinkle I think, range between 57 and 61 inches, meaning that while technically she'll classified as a horse, Twinkle could stay a real pony for all her life.

Little girls, rejoice!

(Worth mentioning that "all her life" is, on average, 25-30 years. Seemed a macabre statistic to throw in at the end of that last paragraph.)

And so there you have it, an in-depth look at, if not Twinkle specifically, then the type of breed Twinkle may been, in this Creature Feature that's really just about an animal. 

Some days around here you gotta stretch a little farther.

RIP Ron Hajak

A brief post here to mark the passing of actor Ron Hajak, best known to Asylum fans as "Lawrence" in this year's Princess and the Pony, in which he was awesome.

Committed extends its sincere condolences to the friends, family and collaborators of Mr. Hajak. 

Princess and the Pony Released on DVD! Mega Python vs. Gatoroid This Weekend!

At long last, The Asylum's very first family film is released on DVD today! Check out my link-chronology below to get all the info Committed's ever published on the film, which is more than enough to get you up-to-date and amped. 

October 7, 2010 - 1st Furry Valentine is Princess and the Pony

October 11, 2010 - 1st Furry Valentine Wraps Production

December 10, 2010 - Princess and the Pony Gets a Poster

December 21, 2010 - Princess and the Pony Trailer Released

January 6, 2011 - Inmate Profile: Rachel Lee Goldenberg

January 20, 2011 - Observation Notes: Princess and the Pony

In other news, perhaps even bigger, less needed-to-be-reported news, Princess and the Pony isn't the only Asylum production hitting our greedy little eyes this week; Saturday night brings the world television premiere of Mega Python vs Gatoroid on SyFy as part of a mini-marathon that also includes Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and Mega Piranha. In addition to the clips already online, Entertainment Weekly's website scored an exclusive last-clip before the premiere. Nice of EW to run the clip, not so nice they call it "absurd." Seriously, this from the magazine that ran an article on The Room last week, a year and a half after anyone stopped caring, and also the magazine that considered Patricia Arquette's dead-eyed, marble-mouthed, robot-corpse character on "Medium" as the matriarch of "one of TV's finest families." So, you know, biiiiiiiig grain of salt with their opinions. Nevertheless, press is press and getting a shout-out in the biggest industry mag in the country is good no matter what they say. 

Only last night in NYC was the world premiere for MPvG held at the historic Ziegfield Theatre. Jump over here for some iPhone photos of the event taken by one David Michael Latt, as well as a link to some more professional shots.

So go out today and support the Asylum by renting Princess and the Pony at your local video store or Redbox thingamajig, or add it to your Netflix cue and check it out in six months or so when it gets to you. Then, if you don't already have plans for the MPvG premiere (and you live on the West Coast), you can watch it live along with me via the Mega-Marathon Blogfest! Mega Live! starting this Saturday, January 29th, at 5p.m. PST.

Bonne Observation!

observation notes: Princess and the Pony (formerly 1st Furry Valentine)

You didn't think I was gonna skip this one, did you? You didn't assume that just because this is a massive thematic departure for The Asylum, their first, full-on venture into family filmmaking (overlooking Sunday School Musical - incidentally from this director - and Pirates of Treasure Island; the former is aimed at teens and the latter has too much cleavage for anyone under 10) that I would choose to ignore it? Oh no, my friends - in for a penny, in for a pound, that's practically the colloquial definition of "committed," and I'm nothing but. These guys could release a knitting instructional video and I'd watch it. Twice. So here we go:

When a privileged but sheltered princess (Fiona Perry) is threatened by a breach of palace security, her mother the Queen (Kim Little, in her first Asylum flick since 2009's Countdown:Jerusalem) makes the decision to send her to America where she has an aunt (Bobbi Jo Lathan) living in the heartland, far from suspicious or pernicious eyes and hands. Once there, immersed in the decidedly plebeian culture, forced to pretend she is the opposite of herself, a normal little girl, our princess naturally has trouble making friends, at least of the human variety; when she discovers a carnival pony, however, it's love at first sight. But this love is soon threatened when the ne'er-do-well carnival owner (Bill Oberst Jr.) discovers her true identity, thus her true worth.

I'm not ashamed to admit, nor do I think it's weird, that as a grown man with no kids I found this to be an enjoyable film. Everyone loves a good fairy tale, and that's exactly what this is, a parable about virtue and friendship modernized for today's kids while retaining enough classical elements to feel timeless. The script, by director Rachel Lee Goldenberg (Sherlock Holmes) and Bill Parker (an Asylum editor), is balanced nicely between sentimental and adventurous, hitting all the right emotional chords without lapsing too much into being wholly either. The result is a fun, sweet, lively and uplifting film that - oh yeah, I'm going to say it - the whole family can enjoy.

Fiona Perry, a relative newcomer with a credit here or there, is the perfect princess, a child actress capable of portraying a burden most grown folk couldn't passably carry, that of being royalty, and the pressures, restrictions and in fact short-comings, socially and practically speaking, such a life implies. Miss Perry shows an emotional range well beyond her years, and is exactly the sort of little girl every other little girl would want to be friends with. The Asylum might have just found itself a Fanning-esque prodigy. 

Ms. Lathan shines as Aunt Fay, as does Ron Hajak as Lawrence, the princess' American paternal figure, but it's the performance by Bill Oberst Jr. as despicable carnival owner Theodore Snyder that steals the show on the adults' end. As a sort of cartoonishly further-demented Daniel Plainview (click here, then here), he takes wickedness to a delightful new level and transforms what could have been a generic villain into a memorable adversary. They should shuffle this guy into a regular Asylum flick - he'd make a heck of a space marine platoon leader or serial killer.

All in all, then, the verdict on this one is positive. For a guy who doesn't really watch a lot of kid-oriented stuff (at least not the stuff made after, I don't know, 1987?) I wasn't really aware of the fact that I was watching something intended primarily for kids. A good story is a good story, and this was just that. Throw in some great performances and an uplifting ending - not something all Asylum films come with; I'm looking at you, When a Killer Calls and Sex Pot - and you got yourself a positive 85 minutes. If I had a daughter, I'd totally let her watch Princess and the Pony, and she'd totally love it. Committed from birth.

inmate profile: Rachel Goldenberg

Ms. Goldenberg, obviously, is the one without the awesome mustache.

In honor of the DVD release of Princess and the Pony - formerly 1st Furry Valentine - on the 25th of this month, I thought the inmate profile should turn its spotlight on Renaissance woman Rachel Goldenberg, whose resume with The Asylum is ridiculously impressive, especially for someone who seems so young*.

Besides the above-mentioned and forthcoming family film, Ms. Goldenberg also helmed the delightfully steampunk'd Sherlock Holmes and the strangely catchy Sunday School Musical. But beneath these three headlining gigs are a few years crammed to the hilt with production work for our favorite studio. Dig these credentials:


First Assistant Director on: The 7 Adventures of Sinbad, Princess of Mars, 2012 Supernova, Mega Fault, The Terminators, Monster, Alien vs. Hunter, I Am Omega


Line Producer on: Mega Fault, Dragonquest, Countdown:Jerusalem, 18 Year Old Virgin, Death Racers, Street Racer


And as though all this wasn't enough, she also wrote and edited two of her three directed-films for The Asylum, the first and the forthcoming. Girl's got more hats than a Lids Store. If The Asylum put out Wheaties boxes (I know, work with me here), Rachel Goldenberg would for sure be one of the featured.

There's no doubt Ms. Goldenberg has a bright, bright, bright future ahead of her. My only hope is that she sticks around The Asylum long enough to make a few more films. After all, there is that  big-screen Sherlock Holmes sequel coming soon that just dying to be mockbusted...

That date again for the release of Ms. Goldenberg's latest film is January 25th. Add it to your cues now!


* I'm basing this statement on nothing more than mere conjecture, having found very little information on Ms. Goldenberg online beyond her IMDB profile and the above photo on The Asylum's Photostream. So any assumptions I make that are incorrect, or conclusions I draw that are not factual, I apologize. I'm not really a journalist or anything, you know. Just sayin'

whispers from another cell: News From Within The Asylum

 

It's a big month for The Asylum - there are two releases dropping in the next couple of weeks: Princess and the Pony (a.k.a. 1st Funny Valentine)(Jan. 25) and the SyFy original movie Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (Jan. 29). In the weeks to come I'll have some specific cast and crew profiles with various members of both films, but for now I thought I'd preface things with a bit of an overview for anyone who might be joining us for the first time. 

Princess and the Pony is The Asylum's first full-on foray into the realm of family-oriented filmmaking. It's true they've made a few titles under the Faith Films banner, which are somewhat more suited for children than their regular fare, though only in the same way that perhaps making children choose their own branch to be whipped with is, and there was also the G-rated Pirates of Treasure Island, but that starred Lance Henriksen, who is in no way whatsoever appropriate for children.                                                               

This then becomes the trailblazing film in what could be another brilliant marketing offshoot for the guys who never met a genre they didn't like. And it's certainly hitting all the high notes: not only is there a princess, and a pony, but the film tackles themes of peer ridicule and emotional bullying as well, and even has a carnival in it, though said carnival seems to be an evil thing, which most are, so, important lesson.

P&P stars newcomer Fiona Perry in her feature film debut as the titular princess, Bobbi Jo Lathan and Ron Hajak as the well-meaning Americans she's sent to, Bill Oberst Jr. as the conniving carnival owner and a few Asylum regulars like Debra Harrison-Lowe (MILF, Transmorphers), Johnathan Nation (Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Dragonquest), Matthew Farhat (Countdown:Jerusalem, 2010 Supernova) and, in her first appearance in two years, Kim Little (Killers, Killers 2, Supercroc). Written and directed by Rachel Lee Goldenberg (Sherlock Holmes), check out the trailer right here.

Then there's Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, the film the entire internet's been all abuzz about given that it's two stars - Debbie Gibson and Tiffany - have been the subject of tabloid fodder since their days of mall-pop stardom more than two decades ago. Yessir, everyone's so caught up in watching these two former teen-idols go at it that no one's stopping to consider the truly important question here: what the hell is a Gatoroid? 

But the big point of interest here is that MPvG - The Asylum's second SyFy original movie, the first being last year's Mega Piranha - stands to help continue an astounding streak: the last five SyFy original movies (Lake Placid 3, Sharktopus, Red: Werewolf Hunter, Triassic Attack and Ice Quake) have each garnered a premiere viewing audience of more than two million; should MPvG generate comparable numbers, the streak is kept alive. Me personally, I'm calling for 2.5 - 2.8 million viewers. People have been waiting for this particular cat fight a loooooooooong time.

MPvG is directed by Mary Lambert (Pet Semetary I & II) from a script by Naomi Selfman (Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus), and also stars former "L.A. Law" hunk A. Martinez (returning to The Asylum after his inaugural film The Terminators) and former Monkee Mickey Dolenz, no doubt talked into the role by his daughter, Asylum-alum Amy Dolenz (2012 Apocalypse). No word on a DVD release date as of yet, but rest assured SyFy will be playing the shit out of this one for the next couple of months. Check out the four available clips over at the SyFy site.

observation notes: 7 Adventures of Sinbad

"The Original Prince of Persia," boasts the box for this gem, though truthfully it's more a tie-in to the recent disaster in the Gulf than to the Gyllenhaal-Disney flick, if anything. Either way, The Asylum's take tells the story of wealthy, handsome, gadabout energy entrepreneur Adrian Sinbad (Patrick Muldoon), who, at the beginning of the film, at least, is a bit of an Ebeneezer Scrooge meets Jay Gatsby, a money-centric megalomaniac in serious need of being taken down a peg or two. When eco-terrorists take over one of his ships, Sindbad - fulfilling his CEO duties, I guess - takes actions into his own hands. But when the chopper he's taking to said ship encounters a freak storm en route, it goes down in the middle of the Indian Ocean, but not before Sinbad catches a glimpse of his ship being crushed and pulled under by a motherfucking kraken. Game on.

As one might expect, the survivors of the chopper crash wash ashore on an uninhabited(?), uncharted, unusual (or as Jules Verne might have put it, "Mysterious") island. It isn't too long before our uber-pampered, pretty-boy trust-funder finds himself in a situation in which his money and power don't account for shit, thus rendering him pitifully overwhelmed:

"Crab!..Crab!..Big crab!" - actual dialogue

 Our hero had better learn to get his panic in check however, as the strange goings-on are only going to get stranger thanks to a series - 7 - of travails - or adventures - young Mr. Sinbad must accomplish if he is to save his compatriots and indeed the world from the mechanisms of an ancient apocalyptic prophecy, return home again, to the real world, restore honor to his family name, and find within himself the better man he was meant to be. What these adventures are, or if and how he surpasses them? The things of spoilers, so I relent.

Overall, I found this to be a pretty inventive script - written, as was the film directed, by Ben Hayflick, a former scribe for the Onion News Network, and Adam Silver, an Asylum employee best known for his cinematographic work on films like The Apocalypse, Megafault and the upcoming Princess and the Pony - laced with twists and turns and homages to everything from The 7th Adventure of Sinbad to Mysterious Island to "Lost" to The Most Dangerous Game to The Odyssey. It was a little slow to start - to me, at least - but once Sinbad and crew find themselves on the island, things move more rapidly and grow more intense, unfurling into one action-packed sequence after another.

As such, a lot is required of the FX in this movie, and for my money, they don't disappoint: helicopters, flying creatures galore, winged fire demons, waterspouts and tornadoes, landmasses that turn out to be whales - that's right, fucking whales! - giant crabs and the Looney-award-nominated Cyclops (which moves like Ray Harryhausen must have imagined in his most lucid daydreams: fluid, formidable, palpable and perilous, A+ work for this market), they all look awesome. The actors' reactions to them, not always so awesome, but that's a minor flaw, and technical at that, so should in no way detract from what are otherwise mostly capable performances.


Patrick Muldoon ("Melrose Place," Starship Troopers, Ice Spiders) as Sinbad delivers the stone-coldest one-liners this side of David Caruso, and he's a little to slimy-seeming to ever be believable as a truly good guy, but say what you will, the guy looks the part, and he's got a helluva jawline. A kind of poor-man's Christian Bale, Muldoon strikes the right balance here between villain and hero, confident but uncertain, and as such is a triumph.

But the real spotlight-stealer here is Looney-award-nominated supporting actress Kelly O' Leary, who according to IMDB has only one other credit to her name, an episode of "Mad Men" in 2008. This is a travesty, as Ms. O'Leary portrayed the overburdened assistant to Sinbad as regal, adaptive, stern but relatable, potent and feisty and more than capable to stand her own ground in these adventures. She is much more than a beautiful face, and turns this role into one of the stronger supporting females parts in all of The Asylum's filmography. Please Asylum, get her back, and soon.

Rounding out the cast is the lovely Sarah Desage as Loa, the native islander girl who is harsh and hard but heart-breakingly human, a kind of evolution from the native women in 100 Million B.C., who were still a little primal in terms of expression; Ms. Desage not only supplies the more obvious eye-candy, but becomes more than that with her earnest portrayal of a woman out of her intellectual league but struggling to hold her own. And she looks a lot like Jax's chick on "Sons of Anarchy."

And of course, the other billed star here, Bo Svenson (Snowbeast, The Inglorious Bastards) earns his paycheck with aplomb as an adviser to Sinbad in the business world. Not really worth a billing, as he's not around much, but he is a name, so, you gotta do what you gotta do. 

To sum up, The 7 Adventures of Sinbad I found to be an intense, action-packed, at times psychedelic and truly original mythological thriller, full of creative visual FX, barbed dialogue, oodles of bloodshed, scantily-clad native women and, yes, even nudity. And the ending...all I'll say is that it's truly bizarre and even more bizarrely-touching. Enjoy. 

Princess and the Pony Trailer Released!

The presents just keep coming from The Asylum this week. First we got the set pics from Almight Thor, then the DVD release of Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, now we get the trailer for The Asylum's first full-on family film, Princess and the Pony, formerly known as 1st Furry Valentine. The film looks to be positively charming, and strangely suitable for kids. Check it out for yourself right here.

1st Furry Valentine Back to Being Princess and the Pony - And Gets a Poster

Things have come full circle, title-wise, in regards to The Asylum's first foray into family filmmaking: what began as Princess and the Pony changed it's name to 1st Furry Valentine (presumably for the same reason Moby Dick had a 2010 in front of it) but now has changed its named back to Princess and the Pony. Plus, they've given us a poster that appeals to every single 8 year old girl in the world: a princess in a pink dress, a pony, and a cute little dog, just to top things off.


I think this is a good move. I'm a big supporter of thwarting traditional ordering and placement techniques by prefixing titles with numbers, but in this one it never really made sense. First of all, the arrangement of words in the former title sounds kinda, well, kinda lewd, quite frankly, like, you know, this isn't a family film at all but a raucous sex comedy about a young man's first experiments with a trendy kink. And I'm sure that inference says more about me than it does the fine, chaste folks at The Asylum, but it rubbed me the wrong way (ew.). Secondly, while it might be biologically accurate, I don't think of horses as furry, I just don't. Rabbits are furry; bears are furry; chinchillas are furry; horses... horses are, I don't know, too slick to be furry. That adjective never worked for me. 

Anywho, bottom line, this name change is, I think, a good thing, and is sure to detract hater critics from being able to make the same lewd jokes I just did. The difference? I do it out of love, mad, crazy love. So skip over to the webpage for this one if you need an update on the synopsis. Princess and the Pony, written by Rachel Lee Goldenberg & Bill Parker and directed by Goldenberg, comes to DVD January 25, 2011.