creature feature: Moby Dick

I had the pleasure of re-watching Trey Stokes and Paul Bales' modern-masterpiece 2010 Moby Dick the other day, and it reminded me I had yet to shine the Committed creature feature spotlight on this titular, terrible white whale. Well, consider that oversight overturned.

Now, it should be noted that while this film, and its whale, are based on the Herman Melville's novel of the same name - minus the 2010, of course* - this is by no means the same whale. Melville's cetacean is vicious, yes, but it's still a conceivable whale, size-wise. 2010 Moby is amped up on whey protein or something, cuz mofo's the size of...I honestly don't have anything comparable in mind. It's huge, the kind of huge that can seize a nuclear sub in its jaws the way I would a baguette.

Furthermore, while the whale in Melville's classic was a bane on the existence of one very obsessive sea captain and the unfortunate crew serving under him, 2010 Moby is a full-blown menace to society, destroying everything he comes across, from the sub above to the whale-watching vessel above that, to the army chopper below. Dude just wants to kill, no rhyme, no reason, other than being the biggest predator in the history of history and having, as such, a comparable appetite.

Massive, sharply-toothed - no baleen here - and covered blowhole to belly in tough, thick, near impenetrable blubber; even Greenpeace would want this thing dead. I could offer speculative conjecture as to who would win in a fight, Moby or Mega Shark, Moby or Giant Octopus, Moby or Crocosaurus and so on, but the simple answer is, Moby would just swallow them like Jonahs, fight over. 

So a Committed salute, then, to what might just be the top of the Asylum food-chain, the Alpha predator in a menagerie of alpha predators: the melanin-deprived marine terror that is 2010 Moby Dick. If you haven't laid witness to the film yet, remedy that error toot suite.


*can you imagine how sweet it would have been if Melville had applied his nautical fetish to the sort of speculative fiction of Wells and Verne? I think the closest we get is China Mieville.

observation notes: 2012 Ice Age

This latest release from The Asylum is an apocalyptic, ripped-from-the-headlines thriller from the brilliant pens of Paul Sinor and Victoria Dadi, the team behind last year's Airline Disaster.

When a volcano in scenic Iceland goes kablooey, it collapses an ice shelf and releases a tremendous glacier that starts on a collision course with the East Coast of the United States, the harbinger of a new ice age that one family - lead by actors Julie McCullough ("Growing Pains") and Patrick Labyorteaux ("JAG") - must try to stay ahead of.

First off, in all fairness, I should admit my love for polar apocalypse films. I think the ice age is something we as modern humans have zero capacity to plan for or fight against, so to see characters accurately struggle against such odds is always fascinating, to me, at least. 2012 Ice Age does not fail; apocalyptic thriller, family drama, FX bonanza. The script is solid as ice, the direction by the mysterious "Travis Fort" is above par and the performances sell it all.

Patrick Labyorteuax as the father/scientist at the center of the film plays the role with a duality of dedication - half to his job, half to his family, each half greater than most men's wholes. He's undeniably likable, universally relatable and just plain fun to root for. I wasn't a "JAG" watcher, but I was a big fan of Labyorteaux's as a teen - he's in two of my favorite movies ever, Summer School and Heathers - so it was awesome to not only see him again, but to see that he's still as awesome as ever.

Julie McCullough, lovely as she was twenty years ago on "Growing Pains," as Labyorteaux's estranged wife and informed-thus-concerned mother is sassy, confident, concerned and coyly radiant. She's still got a smile that could charm a buzzard off a fresh kill, and she still knows how to use it. To see her in this dramatic setting was a revelation, and hopefully the start of great things to come.

Other notables include Nick Afanasiev and Katie Wilson as the couple's teenage children, and the great Gerald Webb as another traveler.
 

The real star here - not to take away from the human performers - is the film's visual FX; from the volcano eruption to the encroaching glacier to the polar ramifications, this is easily the best-looking Asylum film, FX-wise, to date. Bar none. I often speak of how The Asylum's production values have shot through the roof since Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, and this is the best representation of that hypothesis to date.

The script is sound, scientifically and emotionally. Sinor and Dadi - as they did with Airline Disaster - do a spectacular job of balancing the technical with the human, crafting a disaster epic with an intimate heart. I never felt for an instant that our response - militarily - to the impending ice age was far-fetched or contrived. The film's realism, in fact, is part of what endeared it to me so. When the science is sound, the enjoyability is infinite.

And as for the direction, by the mysterious Travis Fort, all I can say is the typing equivalent of one, lone man in a crowd of thousands standing up and starting the applause an entire crowd reverberates. This film is great looking, well paced, gripping, thrilling, frightening, and gut-wrenching, exactly as it should be. Whoever directed this, he directed his ass off, and has earned my sincere kudos.

Overall, whatever your disaster film peccadillo - ice age, alien invasion, pandemic, war, global warming etc - if you enjoy the struggle of American average-joes against impossible, cataclysmic scenarios, then there is absolutely nothing you won't love about 2012 Ice Age. No smoke-blowing, no ass-kissing, no-sycophanting: this is a rad film, no matter which studio made it; human, horrifying, spectacular and captivating. B-movie gold, as far as I'm concerned. Gold, I say!

2012 Ice Age is on DVD THIS VERY MOMENT in retail establishments, video stores (if u can find them), those lame kiosk things and, of course, Netflix. There's no reason you should still be reading this. Go get 2012 Ice Age right now. NOW!

"Let's melt this ice!"

inmate profile: Julie McCullough

Continuing COMMITTED's spotlight on the creative forces behind the next Asylum flick, 2012 Ice Age, out the 28th of this month, it's now time to move from behind the camera to in front of it, and where better to start than with the film's female lead, the lovely and vivacious Julie McCullough.

Ms. McCullough, born in Hawaii, first came to the attention of our cultural consciousness in the mid-80's via four issues of the World's Preeminent Gentleman's Magazine, Playboy, of which she was the February 1986 Playmate of the Month. From there, Ms. McCullough spring-boarded into acting, appearing in such American classics as "Max Headroom," "Golden Girls," and the Roger Corman-backed Big Bad Mama II alongside Angie Dickenson. This work lead in 1989 a coveted role on one of the most popular sitcoms of its day, "Growing Pains." This is where 12-year-old me comes into the picture. I was, admittedly, a HUGE "Growing Pains" fan, and thought Kirk Cameron was the coolest dude ever (which he most assuredly turned out NOT to be), therefore making Ms. McCullough the most beautiful woman in the world for eight episodes of my life. It was a magical fall.

After "GP," (which only lasted a season and a half after she left, not even DiCaprio could save it; just sayin') Ms. McCullough went on to work regularly in television and film. One project of note: 1988's remake of The Blob with Kevin Dillon, Shawnee Smith and Donovan's son Donovan. Also involved with The Blob? 2012 Ice Age director Trey Stokes, who worked on that film as the "blob movement designer." Coincidence? 


I'll admit that the majority of my exposure to Ms. McCullough's work has been more light-hearted, comedic fare, so I for one am very excited to see her in the decidedly dramatic 2012 Ice Age. If her brief appearances in the trailer are any indication, she's got the chops. Find out June 28th when the film drops on DVD.

inmate profile: Trey Stokes

As you well know, this month's Asylum release is the polar-apocalyptic 2012 Ice Age; as you may also know, in the weeks leading up to a new release I like to shine a little spotlight on the creative types behind the project. Earlier I profiled Ice Age writers Victoria Dadi and Paul Sinor, and now it's time to turn our attention to the man behind the curtain, the captain of the ship, el jefe himself, the film's director, Trey Stokes.

Not only is Mr. Stokes an accomplished director, he's also known for his puppeteering work on such films as the 1988 Blob remake with Kevin Dillon, Species, Robocop 2, Team America: World Police and James Cameron's only legit masterpiece (IMO), The Abyss, on which Mr. Stokes served as head puppeteer. Mr. Stokes has also worked in other realms of visual effects, including animation for Starship Troopers and My Favorite Martian, and most recently as the lead motion capture integrator for Robert Zemeckis' The Polar Express. Not to mention the guy's stints as an editor, cinematographer, camera operator, actor and even motion simulation programmer for two Universal Studios rides, The Funtastic World of Hanna Barbera, and Jimmy Neutron's Nicktoon Blast!


As a director, Stokes first gained prominence with Pink Five, a Star Wars parody series that blew up online and eventually got the Lucas stamp of approval as the bearded-one's selection for fan film of the year in 2003. The next year, the sequel, Pink Five Strikes Back, won the audience award in the same competition. A final installment, Return of Pink Five, has been completed and is awaiting release. He is also the driving creative force behind the sci-fi webseries Ark.


But for Asylum fans, Mr. Stokes is best known for his amazing work directing last year's leviathan of a film (and my personal favorite of the 2010 Asylum offerings). 2010 Moby Dick. What does this mean for 2012 Ice Age? It means there's a proven director and visual effects wiz at the helm, and by what I can tell from the trailer, he's pulling out all the stops on this one. 

2012 Ice Age drops on DVD June 28. Don't worry, I'll remind you.

inmate profile(s): Writers Paul Sinor and Victoria Dadi

2012 Ice Age is The Asylum film being released at this month, so inmate profiles over the next few weeks are going to be dedicated to members of that film's creative staff, starting with writing team extraordinaire, Paul Sinor and Victoria Dadi, also responsible for last year's highly-enjoyable Airline Disaster.

Beginning with Mr. Sinor, this guy's no mere writer. He spent 30 years in the Army, all of it as a decorated Infantry Officer, and retiring as a Lieutenant Colonel. In 1987, Sinor received a life-changing opportunity when he was assigned by the Department of Defense to serve as Technical Advisor for the CBS Vietnam-drama "Tour of Duty" - which incidentally I was a huge fan of as a kid; it's was my first introduction of the Stones' "Paint It Black." In 2004, after being recalled to active duty, the Department of the Army assigned him the designation of Entertainment Liaison to the Film and Television Industry in Los Angeles. As such, Sinor has amassed an impressive resume, working on the first two Transformers films, The Invasion, I Am Legend, The Day The Earth Stood Still and even a few films The Asylum hasn't mockbusted, like G.I. Joe. and Jessica Simpson's Major Movie Star (aka Private Valentne). 2012 Ice Age is his second script for The Asylum, and if his first, Airline Disaster, is any indication, the action will be tight, the science sound and the response accurate; all in all, a tense and realistic sci-fi thriller.

Which brings us to the other half of the team, Victoria Dadi, who also works with Sinor at Valhalla Military, a Technical Advising outfit. 2012 Ice Age is also Ms. Dadi's second film for The Asylum, and in addition to her script work on Airline Disaster, she also served as a military advisor on Titanic II for director Shane Van Dyke.

I really did enjoy the script for Airline Disaster, it felt authentic, never sensational (sensational in a bad way, I mean), spectacularly tense and best of all, to me at least, frighteningly believable. When I heard these were the writers on board for Ice Age, my interest doubled. It doubled again when I heard the film was to be directed by Trey Stokes of 2010 Moby Dick renown, but that's a profile for another time...

Asylum Saturday on SyFy - THIS Saturday!

So this coming Saturday, a day I'm officially declaring a holiday, the fine, fine folks at SyFy are showing not one, not two, not even three but four Asylum films, and not a one of them at 3 in the morning! 

Things start off with the undisputed classic Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus at 1 p.m., then a little break followed by a six-hour mega-marathon that includes Mega Piranha at 5 p.m., Mega Python vs. Gatoroid at 7 and the world television premiere of 2010 Moby Dick, starring Barry Bostwick and Renee O'Connor, written by Paul Bales and directed by Trey Stokes, at 9 p.m. 

So whatever else it is you thought you were doing Saturday, cancel it; four of The Asylum's best are on the boob tube, and you, dear boob, simply can't afford to miss this rare alignment.

Double-Shot of New Asylum Offerings

So, coming today out of The Asylum is new visual info on two upcoming projects, this month's 2012 Ice Age and September's Dragon Crusaders.

First off, the official trailer for Ice Age has dropped at The Asylum site, and while I don't want to jump to any conclusions, this looks to be THE BEST EVER POLAR APOCALYPSE MOVIE. The effects looking nothing short of rad, and coming at the direction of 2010 Moby Dick's Trey Stokes, who would expect anything less? 2012 Ice Age streets on the 28th of this month. I, for one (and as expected), can't wait.

Furthermore, as though the above wasn't enough, The Asylum also graced we committed with the first round of production stills from Mark Atkins' eagerly awaited Dragon Crusader. There aren't any dragons, of course, but what we can see looks a combination of epic and creepy, two of my favorite qualities in a movie. And oh yeah, they put out the poster as well...

A dragon breathing fire down on a shielded Knight Templar. If my wife ever caves and allows me to squander our meager savings on a 70's era van, I'm totally getting this airbrushed on the side. I mean, really: nobody fucks with dragonvan. I digress...

Dragon Crusaders drops on September 27th. 

Man, as awesome as the first half of 2011 has been in terms of Asylum releases, it looks like the second half is going to be even better (and I say that as only a little biased)(A Haunting in Salem on DVD and Blu-Ray 8/23/11, available now for pre-order at Amazon. Just sayin'.)

First Images From the Set of 2012 Ice Age!!!

Over at The Asylum's site they've just posted a link to the first images from the set of 2012 Ice Age. The film, starring Julie ("Growing Pains") McCullough and Patrick (Heathers, Summer School, "JAG") Labyorteaux (both pictured), was written by Victoria Dadi and Paul Sinor (the team behind Airline Disaster) and is being directed by Trey Stokes (2010 Moby Dick). Only eight pics here, but they give a good sense of the look of the film - snowy - as well as highlight some supporting players like Kyle Morris, Katie Wilson and Nick Afanasiev.

This one drops on DVD June 28, 2011, right in the dead of summer. Until then, enjoy the pics!

Details Emerge on 2012: Ice Age

An exciting day here at Committed, as I'm just pleased as punch to see the creative details emerge for The Asylum's next project, 2012 Ice Age.

According to the link above, the film is to be written by Paul Sinor and Victoria Dadi, the same dynamic duo responsible for the wildly-popular Airline Disaster, and will be directed by none other than the captain of 2010 Moby Dick, the great Trey Stokes. Moby Dick, as faithful readers might recall, was my pick for best Asylum film of 2010, and as far as directors went, Stokes was a coin toss for me with Rachel Lee Goldenberg. If MD's any indication, he's got a great eye, a masterful pacing ability and a real sense of story that should elevate this above other SyFy fare. I was hoping we'd get to see him helm another Asylum film, and I'm two-fold glad: one, that he's back so soon, and two, that it's a project I've been eagerly anticipating since it was announced at the end of last year. I'm a sucker for an awesome disaster film, and now that we're learning some of the talent involved, I think that's what we can expect. Dig the logline:

"When a volcanic eruption in Iceland sends a glacier hurtling toward North America, a family struggles to escape the onslaught of the coming ice age."

I like that they've tied it in to real events, the volcano in Iceland. Airline Disaster, you may recall, also had its ending rooted in real events, so it's nice to see Sinor and Dadi continue in that vein. 

 


And as far as on-screen talent is concerned, The Asylum has managed to snag another couple of my favorites: Patrick Labyorteux of Heathers, Summer School and "JAG," fame (the films were two of my favorites growing up and the latter I would catch on occasion, though only hoping for a glimpse of Catherine Bell), and Julie McCullough, most-famous for "Growing Pains," and posing for a certain gentleman's magazine. Julie - I swear to god - I just wrote up in a Should-Stars I was going to post later this week. It was seeing her on the red carpet at the Mega Python vs Gatoroid premiere that jogged my memory; apparently her appearance there was not coincidental.

2012 Ice Age hits the streets June 28, 2011. Keep one eye glued here for any production updates, further casting information or stills!

My Looney Picks: Committed's Favorties of 2010

I want it stated right off the bat and underlined for effect: these are NOT the official results for the 2010 Looney Awards. They ARE NOT. These are merely my personal picks in each category, and I should also add that though they are being posted today, I made my selections more than a month ago, so they have been in no way influenced by the actual results, which will be released tomorrow.

NOT THE LOONEY RESULTS!!!!!

I think I've made myself clear.





Now then, on to the festivities:


Best Supporting Actress

Lindsey McKeon - Airline Disaster

As Special Agent Gina Vitale, McKeon brought a ferocious capability to her character, crafting a complex woman who was simultaneously strong, severe, and sexy. McKeon is no stranger to Asylum films - see also The Land That Time Forgot - but hopefully now that she's an award-winning actress, they can boost her up from supporting roles to a full-on lead. 










Best Supporting Actor

Geoff Meed - 6 Guns

Easily this year's vilest (human) villain, Geoff Meed has made quite the name for himself over at The Asylum playing an array of gruff, tough, general badass characters (I Am Omega, 100 Million BC, Airline Disaster). In 6 Guns, his savagery is matched only by his intensity, and Mr. Meed transforms himself into a terror truly worth undertaking the drastic measures our widow heroine chooses to undertake; he is truly a villain worth killing.  







Best Script

 Paul Bales - Sherlock Holmes

Tackling a character like Sherlock Holmes is hard enough: easily one of the most beloved in all of literature, there is a disciplined intelligence to the stories of Holmes that is the character's own, and to write for such a man requires strict adherence to that intelligence. Well, Bales not only stayed true to the character, he infused the story with some of the author's other literary affectations - like dinosaurs - and even found a way to tie in a plot line resonant of Hollywood-Holmes Robert Downey Jr.'s other recent blockbuster franchise.






Best Nonhuman

Moby Dick - 2010: Moby Dick

Just as big as Mega Shark, just as ferocious as Crocosaurus, and laced with a mammalian intellect that dwarfs even the super-smart school mentality of the Mega Piranha, Moby Dick was a big ol' badass with a snowhilled hump riddled with centuries' worth of harpoons. Vengeful, merciless and damn-near unstoppable; in other words, the perfect villain.


Best Actress

Sage Mears - 6 Guns

More than any other female character this year, Ms. Mears' Selina Stevens, violated widow turned wrathful force of vengeance, carried the brunt of her film's emotional weight almost solely upon her own shoulders. And this was no easy weight to bear: over the films 95 minutes she's required to be a happy mother and loving wife, a victim of unimaginable horrors, a hopeless, reckless drunk, a petulant, impatient pupil and finally a cold, calm, calculated vigilante. Not bad for her first film.







Best Actor

Barry Bostwick - 2010: Moby Dick

Who else? As great as the other nominees in this category were, no one matched the on-screen intensity Bostwick brought to conflicted Captain Ahab. I mean, Gregory Peck played the role to near perfection, not to mention the likes of Patrick Stewart and (upcoming) William Hurt; these were no small shoes ("shoe," I guess is more appropriate) to step into. But Bostwick made the character his own, granting him a fevered passion the likes of which had never been captured by other actors. Plus, he made his own harpoon gun! There is nothing cooler than that. Nothing.





Best Director

Rachel Lee Goldenberg - Sherlock Holmes


This was the toughest category, in my estimation, but when all was said and done, it was the direction by Ms. Goldenberg I found to be the most enjoyable, the most thrilling, and the most stylish. Sherlock Holmes had a look all its own, delightfully Victorian with a healthy dash of steampunk aesthetics that set its helmer just ahead of the pack. Furthermore, her ability to pace and guide what could arguably have been the year's most serpentine and intricate plot is also worth touting. 


Best Feature

2010: Moby Dick

I suppose in the interest of total disclosure I should remind my readers that I have such a devotion to the novel by Herman Melville this film is based on - the greatest novel ever penned by an American - that I have a very tasteful scrimshaw-esque tattoo of said whale on my right forearm. But my body art aside, 2010: Moby Dick was easily the most enjoyable film - for me, at least - of the year. The plot was faithful to the original while establishing a wholly unique world, the acting was top-notch, the FX brutally awesome and the direction, by Mr. Trey Stokes, helped artfully tie all these elements together into a veritable bouquet of a killer whale movie (not Orca, but, you know...). An ambitious undertaking from the get-go, 2010: Moby Dick fired on all cylinders and succeeded on all fronts.



So there you have it, my personal picks for the best of Asylum's 2010 films. Agree with me? Disagree? If so, hold your tongue, because the real winners will be announced tomorrow, noontime here on the West Coast. See you then!

whispers from another cell: News From Within The Asylum

2010 Moby Dick Released Today on DVD! (Kind of ) Commentary This Weekend!

That's right, today is MD-Day, so rush out right now to your local, independent video store or other legitimate rental source and snatch this one off the racks. Better yet, click over to The Asylum store and purchase a copy. It's well worth it. I've extolled the virtues of this one already, and I'm telling you, $17.99 is a deal for action of this magnitude. The longer I sit with the image of the whale, the more I love it. Melville would have been proud, I believe. 


But you don't have to take my word for it: hit up this link to The Asylum's blog, where they have a list of reviews from around the web. Careful though, spoilers abound, and though the story at origin you might know, there are certain Asylum stamps (courtesy of Paul Bales) on this one you don't want spoiled.


Once you have seen it, indulge in this special treat leaked to me by Trey Stokes himself, the man in the director's chair of 2010MD: Mr. Stokes and some colleagues have been doing weekly podcasts for nearly two years called Down In Front, in which they pick a film to insightfully analyze/savagely ridicule, and this week, they're giving the treatment to MD. Since Asylum movies - as yet - don't come with director commentaries, this will be the closest thing we've gotten so far. Stokes says the podcast will go live Sunday or Monday, and can be heard at www.downinfront.net. 

And by the by, for those who doubt my commitment to Moby Dick, my utter respect and pure love, not for The Asylum movie, necessarily, but rather the work it's based on, and therefore, in some small way, I guess, any incarnation it takes, I offer the flesh of my right forearm:

I don't make Dick jokes.


Mega Python vs. Gatoroid Gets a Release Date

So SyFy made it official today and announced a long-awaited release date for the Debbie Gibson-Tiffany toe-to-toe grudge match that is Mega Python vs. Gatoroid. January 29th is the date, 9p.m. on SyFy. That's a Saturday night, so tell your lady she's gonna have to either make other plans or kick it at home, because that's the night every man who was a pre-teen in the late 80's has nothing better to do, period. Let the countdown begin.





Less Than One Month Until Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus!

I know it seems too good to be true, but it isn't: as of today, there are exactly four weeks before the most eagerly anticipated non-Wizard sequel of the year hits our hot, greedy little hands. On December 21st Mega Shark is back in action, taking on Africa's deadliest secret, the ginormous crocosaurus. Who will win? Who will lose? How many innocents will die needlessly in the brawl? Hopefully scores, because expectations are definitely high for this one. Still no trailer, but I wouldn't be surprised if one drops in the next 48 hours, seeing as how 2010 Moby Dick is out and MSvC is next in the cue for release. Rest assured, as soon as I see it, you'll see it.

observation notes: 2010 Moby Dick

Man oh man have I been looking forward to this."Moby Dick" is my favorite novel of all time, and when I heard it was being adapted by my favorite studio, well, let's just say I've been beside myself with anticipation. I mean, as far as American writers go, Melville's pretty much the Godfather, and "Moby Dick" is his coup de grace, and, in my and many others' opinions, the finest work ever produced by an American novelist. So, some pretty big shoes to fill here. Or should I say "mega" shoes? Let's get into it.

The Asylum's version opens in the arctic in 1969 aboard a submarine on which there serves a young seaman by the name of Jonah Ahab (Jay Gillespie, #1 Cheerleader Camp)(love the addition of "Jonah," as in, that dude in the Bible lived in a whale for a while. in the book, it's just Ahab. but Bales, he's cross-referencing his whale lore. awesome!). On the young Ahab's sonar there is sensed something large and biological approaching the sub. He tries to inform the others, even records it's sound, or song, on a Maxell cassette, but his superior dismisses his suspicions as glitches of equipment and inexperience - that is until that something Ahab detected, a gigantic and ruthlessly aggressive white whale, attacks the sub and body slams it down on the ice shelf, killing the majority of the crew in an instant. Young Ahab, as you would expect, gets out alive, but loses a leg.

Cut to our modern era and the coast of California where Cetologist (whale scientist/actress Renee O'Connor, "Xena") Michelle Herman (get it? Ismael and the last name of the author. brilliant!) and her assistant Pip (Derrick Scott) are recording the songs of her specimens in a purple bikini on a boat cutely named "The Coffin," a reference, no doubt, to the buoyant slab of wood that saves Ismael's life in the novel. 

I'm going to tone down mentioning all the little references to the novel, promise, I just wanted to make the point that this script, whatever else it is, is firmly loyal to the original story. Back to it, now:

Said specimens are responding just fine until something below the surface spooks them and they take off. That something, it's revealed seconds later, is a U.S. Navy Nuclear Submarine, the Pequod, whose crew has breached to request - in a rather forceful manner - the services of our whale doctor and her associate. This request comes on behalf of the Pequod's unseen captain, Ahab, now forty years older.

Cut to a nice little scene here where a whale-watching tourist boat is crushed by the underbelly of the great white whale of sea-faring lore, Moby Dick. More on this in a bit.

Back in the sub, the doc is being briefed by first-mate Starbuck (easy BSG geeks, the name was ours first) about the incidents leading up to her specific, shall we say, acquisition by the sub. Seems there's been a lot of weird whale attacks lately, but not by any ordinary whale, oh no, but by a five-hundred-fucking-foot white whale, a whale like no other, a prehistoric megawhale freed from the arctic and now wreaking havoc off the coast of Southern California. Doc dismisses this as ridiculous, impossible, besides, it's a myth, a legend, no one's ever actually seen this thing. Enter modern-day Ahab (the great, gray Barry Bostwick, Animal House, "Spin City"). Not only has he seen the foul leviathan, he's still got its song on cassette (enter your own "Moby Dick" '69 bootleg/Zeppelin joke here). To Ahab, Moby Dick is no mere myth, no slight story made up and meant to scare sailors, oh no, this whale to Ahab is all too real, he feels it in his phantom leg, and over the last forty years he has become quite insane with vengeance (while still being able to hold down a skippership position with the Navy). He will stop at nothing short of this glorious creature's permanent extinction, and that's where the doc comes in: he's been following her work for years and knows that if anyone can use the song he has on cassette to track the real whale, it's her. Doc isn't too pleased about abetting this violent mission, but when Ahab convinces her all they want to do is stop the attacks on innocents, she's reluctantly in.

On shore, an old seaman buddy of Ahab's, and one who served all those years ago on the same sub Moby Dick made mincemeat of (he lost an arm) is being questioned by Navy higher-ups about Ahab's state of mind. Seems the Navy got pretty nervous when Ahab, on his own, tricked out his nuclear sub to become even more dangerous and formidable, and then they got even more nervous when he ceased to make regular check-ins. Navy realllllllllly doesn't like that. Futhermore, these attacks that have been happening, the ones we know Moby Dick is responsible for, well, no one else believes in a prehistoric whale freed from arctic stasis, so naturally, they're blaming these things on the rogue sub captain with the pimped out vessel. Ahab's buddy is commissioned the responsibility of finding his old friend and bringing him in.

In the meantime, however, another sub on the lookout for the Pequod conveniently chances upon the latter vessel, although before it can take action, in another ridiculously convenient chance encounter, Moby Dick is there as well, honing in on the pinging of the former sub's radar, and quickly making said sub no more. Now it's getting personal.

On shore again, Ahab's buddy interviews the only survivor of the whale-watching debacle, a Russian chick who dispels the rumor it was a sub that attacked them, instead blaming the tragedy on a massive white whale.

The Pequod is tracking that very whale at that very moment in the wake of its attack on the other sub. What it finds first is a truly chilling scene I won't give away here, I'll let you experience it on your own, but I will say it's the most illustrative scene - for me, at least - in regards to the sort of dark tone screenwriter Paul Bales establishes here; this is no mere creature feature, it is, as is the novel, a tale of violently irrational obsession, the most shadowed sector of the human soul, played out against a grandiose and horrific setting in which nature comes to personify man's basest attributes, or something like that. The whale kicks mad ass, takes out a bunch of impressive shit.

From here things only get more harrowing. Ahab accidentally invokes further hostilities from his own Navy, but then so does the whale. This does, however, produce the single greatest scene in cinema history involving a whale and a helicopter, undisputed. But after this, Ahab's battle is two-fold: get the whale before the Navy gets the Pequod.

I'm going to leave the rest for you to discover on your own, but I will say that thus far, Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus still pending, this is easily my favorite Asylum production of 2010, and I say that honestly thinking this year has been their best so far. Everything is upped here - the script, the FX, the direction, the acting; The Asylum is just plain functioning on a higher level here. I loved the shit out of this movie, I honestly did.

Paul Bales' script honors the original, changing very little in the way of the story but to modernize it. The result is a story that maintains the venerability of the novel and blends that with the excitement, suspense and terror of an Asylum flick. It's a flawless thing, this blend, complete with inventive twists and imaginative reworkings of the source material - I'm thinking here of The Coffin, Ahab's second peg leg and the awesome harpoon gun Ahab uses (that, according to bonus features, Bostwick built himself one weekend out of shit in his garage. Awesome!) - that help this ambitious undertaking become realized.

As for FX, the whale looks great, really great: tremendous, vicious, formidable and frightening. The centuries' worth of harpoons embedded in its back is a particularly nice touch. The other FX also, the helicopters and subs and whatnot, look a lot cleaner, crisper, all around better, than they did even a year ago. This is not the work of Tiny Juggernaut, as I expected, but of visual effect supervisor Mark Kochinski, a veteran of "Star Trek" and "X-Files" and, yes, "Xena," who also worked on Titanic II and whose FX can next be seen in Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, Mega Python vs. Gatoroid and Battle of Los Angeles. Sounds like we're going to be hearing a lot about him in the next year. 

As for the actors, there wasn't a weak link in this chain. All of Melville's characters are here - Ahab, Ismael, Starbuck, Pip, Doughby, Bulkington, Queequeg - and the actors portraying them did so with loyalty to the original but also with the flexibility to make the roles their own. Particular standouts include Derrick Scott, Adam Grimes as Starbuck, Michael Teh (Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus) as Queequeg, and, in too brief an appearance, Mike Gaglio as an officer on younger Ahab's sub. Renee O'Connor is acceptable in her role, but truthfully it isn't big enough or given enough development to really judge. Overall, however, she's vibrant and urgent and it's great to see her in action again.

But the real standout, the irrefutable ace in this deck is Barry Bostwick as Ahab. In a word, the man is simply incredible, the best I have ever seen him, so impassioned, so violently desperate and insanely disciplined. He gets Ahab in a way no one else has, really sees the madman at the root of this guy and lets him run loose. Pound for pound, and I say this with the utmost respect and admiration to the eras of moviemaking that have come before us, Barry Bostwick captures the maniacal intensity of a man behind such a delirious quest at least as well as the late, great Gregory Peck (from the John Huston 1956 adaptation). Let the hate mail commence, but I say stovepipe hats off to the man for a truly wonderful and stirring performance.

Man, I feel bushed after all this. I knew I liked this movie when I sat down to write up these notes, but I don't think I knew exactly how much until just now. I've seen a lot of Asylum movies, quickly approaching all of them, and though I have my favorites - I Am Omega, The Beast of Bray Road, Titantic II - this one in time might take the cake as my absolute favorite. And again, I fully admit I'm biased because a) the book's my favorite, and b) so's the production company, but I truly believe this is a great action-adventure, above par when it comes to story and FX (barring a scene or two at the end when some crew are hiding from the whale behind a rock), and anchored with the utmost capability by a strong, fierce lead performance by Barry Bostwick, in my opinion, again, the best he's ever been. 

2010 Moby Dick  was directed by Trey Stokes, who makes his feature debut here. Mr. Stokes, I'd like to see a lot, lot more. A lot.

Kudos!