SHARK WEEK Gets a SyFy Premiere!!!!

In a tidbit that rivals the invention of fire as the greatest news ever, SyFy announced their lineup of Saturday Night Movies for the month of August, and they're going to be kicking things off on the 4th at 9 p.m. with the World Premiere of The Asylum's latest shark-saga, Shark Week. This news is especially thrilling to me, as I wrote the daggum thing.

This is not from the movie; it is, however, quite cool.

The film - which stars the venerable Patrick Bergin (Sleeping with the Enemy, Patriot Games) and the versatile Yancy Butler (Witchblade, Lake Placid 3 & 4) - is directed by Christopher Olen-Ray, and marks his third shark film for the studio, behind Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus  and 2-Headed Shark Attack, which I also had the honor of scripting. No poster, production stills, trailer or additional casting has been made public as of yet, but you better believe I'm refreshing various web pages every three or four minutes, all day long, just waiting. As soon as this stuff pops up, I'm gonna post the hell out of it.

To call this a happy moment would be severely understating things; I'm nauseous with glee. I'm really proud of the script and really excited to see how the film came out, and reallllllly excited I'll be watching it with a million or so others. I've already booked the bar for the viewing party. For real.


Stay tuned for details!!!

inmate profile: Nick Lyon

 

Wrapping up Committed's spotlighting of the creative talent behind Zombie Apocalypse, premiering Saturday night at 9pm on SyFy, we turn lastly to the man who brought these wonderful acting and writing talents together, along with dozens of other elements: director Nick Lyon.

Originally from the beautiful city of Portland, Oregon (where I currently reside), Lyon moved to Germany and furthered his film studies. To date he has directed six feature films: I Love You, Baby with Oscar-winner Maximillian Schell, the award-winning indie drama Punk Love, and five TV events - Grendel, Annihilation Earth, Species: The Awakening, Bermuda Triangle Northsea and now Zombie Apocalypse. 

Of these, I've only seen Species: The Awakening, and though a few beers in at that point, I remember liking it. Regardless of my imbibing approval, the bottom line is that this film is in a pair of very experienced hands with a good feel for the genre and a solid track record. 

Find out for yourself Saturday night, 9 o'clock, SyFy, when Zombie Apocalypse makes its world premiere. And if you're on the West Coast, don't forget to stop by for my live blog event: just me, a TV, theme food and real-time. Should be at the least interesting.  

inmate profile: Ving Rhames

With the world premiere of Zombie Apocalypse THIS SATURDAY NIGHT ON SYFY @ 9PM, there isn't a lot of time to spotlight the various talent behind this soon-to-be genre classic, so let us make haste and dive right in with the man himself, the star of Zombie Apocalypse and - with all due respect to everyone else, you guys all know I'm a fan - the single biggest star to grace an Asylum flick to date: Ving Rhames.

I don't have to tell you who Ving Rhames is, you know who Ving Rhames is, and if you don't know who Ving Rhames is, it's time to leave the pack of wolves that raised you and step into the real world. Ving Rhames is a veteran actor with a wide range of roles in more than 100 projects over the last 25 years, including Michael Mann's "Crime Story" and "Miami Vice," Paul Schrader's Patty Hearst and Brian DePalma's Casualties of War, Adrian Lyne's Jacob's Ladder, David Mamet's Homicide, Wes Craven's People Under The Stairs, his star-making turn as "Marcellus Wallace" in Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, a recurring role in four Mission Impossible movies as "Luther," turns in Striptease, "ER," Rosewood, Con Air, Out of Sight, Entrapment, Bringing Out the Dead, Undisputed, Dawn of the Dead, "Kojak," Day of the Dead, and as "Deputy Fallon" in Piranha 3D, Piranha 3DD and Shark Night 3D. 

But what I remember most fondly about Ving Rhames is both his Golden-Globe winning performance as legendary boxing promoter Don King in the HBO Original Movie "Don King: Only in America," and his acceptance of said Golden Globe: he instead gave it to Hollywood legend Jack Lemmon, who had been nominated in the same category for his turn in the William Friedkin take on 12 Angry Men. That was the single classiest moment of entertainment history I ever personally witnessed - via television, of course - and as Jack Lemmon was and is a personal favorite of mine, one of the most touching moments, as well*. Ving Rhames: helluva actor, helluva guy.

In Zombie Apocalypse Ving plays "Henry," and while there isn't much known about his character, from the pictures you can pretty much tell he's playing the Badass. Find out for yourself when you and every single person you know tunes in to SyFy this Saturday Night, October 29th at 9pm for the world premiere of the latest Asylum masterpiece, Zombie Apocalypse.

*it also set up one of the funniest moments in Golden Globe history: the next year, when Jack Lemmon actually won the award in the same category for "Tuesdays With Morrie," the first thing he said upon taking the stage was (paraphrasing), "In the spirit of Ving Rhames, I'd like to give this award to Jack Lemmon."

Almighty Thor Now on DVD!!!

It has arrived, my fellow faithfully-committed, the day that was foretold to us neigh these six months past, the day that the son of Odin walks on Earth to help save humankind from the treacherous, mischievous, maniacal plans of his brother Loki.

In other words, Almighty Thor, The Asylum's latest release, the one that premiered on SyFy this last Saturday night to hopefully awesome, record-breaking numbers, is now available to rent or own at hundreds of thousands of retailers countrywide.

As you may or may not know, I've already seen this one - did the old live-blog event on Saturday night - and I gotta tell you, the last few films from The Asylum - specifically Mega Python vs Gatoroid, Battle of Los Angeles, 200mph and now this - have really seemed to be raising the bar in terms of not only writing and visual effects, but also in regards to acting and overall presentation. This is a slick film here, adventurous and exciting, well-played on all fronts and tied together by the contagious dynamism of the film's lead, never-unknown-again Cody Deal. Richard Grieco is also smoldering, and Patricia Velasquez displays some real chops.

Another smash hit for director Christopher Ray (Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus) as well as writer Eric Forsberg (Mega Piranha), the latter of whom scored his second SyFy hit in as many years. Color me neon green with envy. 

So check it out, love it, tell your friends, make sure they check it out, mention the uzi if you have to, just make sure everyone on every friend list you have knows this one's out and ready to enjoy. Then, enjoy!

REMINDER: Live Blog Event During Almighty Thor

Just a reminder post here that this Saturday, May 7th, at 9pm PST I'll be sitting down - hopefully with millions of others of you, to watch the SyFy premiere of the latest Asylum masterpiece, Almighty Thor.

For those of you unfamiliar with my live blog events - which I've done in the past for the SyFy premieres of Mega Python vs Gatoroid and Battle of Los Angeles - mostly they involve me commenting live here as I watch the film, as well as sharing some embarrassing photos of myself and my lucky wife enjoying the festivities with food, cocktails and some sort of grossly exaggerated desert.

On the menu for this event? Richard Greek-o Goat Cheese Lamburgers, w/ Kevin Nash-ed Potatoes, and for desert? Chocolate Cody'd Deal-icious Ice Cream Sundaes.


I shit you not, true-believers, Im'ma eat this stuff.


But I'm not the only online event going down during the premiere; I'm not even the most legit: Cody Deal, Almighty Thor himself, will be live Tweeting during the film's East Coast showing (that's 6-8 our time, Westies). This guy's been doing an amazing job getting the word out there, drawing some unprecedented publicity for the film. We Asylum fanatics have a very real chance of trumping Lake Placid 3' reigning ratings-record for SyFy Saturday Originals (3 million viewers).


So while you're spreading the word and getting everyone you know to watch, used these links for supplemental materials:


from Media Blvd.


from LIVE with USC's CU@USC: Part 1  Part 2


from Adrenaline Radio 1680 AM on the Acting Up Show with Steve & Skyler

from me

A Slew of New Almighty Thor Stills

With now less than one month until the SyFy premiere of the latest Asylum masterpiece, Almighty Thor, the fine folks at our favorite independent studio have released a plethora of new pics over at their flickr site.

Head over and check them out, then tune in Saturday night, May 7th at 9pm wherever you are for the premiere; if you don't have cable, fret not, the film drops on DVD the next Tuesday, May 10th. Cody Deal, Richard Grieco, Kevin Nash and Patricia Velasquez star.

First Almighty Thor Teaser Goes Up at Moviehole!

The good people over at Moviehole.net have scored the first teaser clip for the upcoming Asylum epic Almighty Thor.

Just a quick fight scene here, but we finally get to see both Richard Grieco - as Loki - and star Cody Deal - as the titular Norse god - and both look great. Grieco looks to bring a certain level of creepiness to the character, while Deal's Thor looks to be both physically powerful and emotionally vulnerable, which could add depth to this historically rigid and distant character.
Check out the clip for yourself then, if you're looking for even more Thor, head over to Comic Book Move dot com for their incredibly thorough sit-down with Mr. Deal.

Almighty Thor - which also stars Kevin Nash as Odin and was written by Eric Mega Piranha Forsrberg and directed by Christopher MSvC Ray - will premiere on SyFy Saturday, May 7th, then drop on DVD the following Tuesday, May 10th.

Awesome Game Over at SyFy

 

March is the official month of Brackets. Think about it: whether you're enmeshed in the triumphs and tragedies of the NCAA tournament or not, chances are you still filled out a bracket. There's just something about pitting two random things against each other in a nice, orderly, structured tournament arrangement that appeals to our innate need to judge. Well, latching on to this base desire are the fine folks over at SyFy, who have instituted what will hopefully be the first in a new-found tradition: Monster Madness. 

That's right, in honor of their 200th Original Movie - "Scream of the Banshee," starring Lauren Holly and Lance Henriksen, airing tomorrow night at 9pm - SyFy has pitted 64 of their greatest original villains - including Asylum creatures Mega Shark, Mega Python, Mega Piranha, Gatoroid and Giant Octopus - against each other in a bracket system. And the best part? We the fans decide who advances and who gets bounced.

Seriously, this is a cool site. Each match-up comes with awesome illustrations of the creatures as well as facts on the flipside with the creatures' powers, abilities and other associated stats. Forget the tournament, I just want a complete set of SyFy original movie trading cards - ice spiders, mammoth, swamp devil, mongolian death worms - the gang's all here.

Anyway, voting for the first round of competition is open now, and the second round starts next Thursday, March 31st. Get over there NOW and get your votes in for your favs, including, of course, all the Asylum creatures, which at last check could use a boost in votes. Tell everyone you know! Retweet! Repost!

Announcing Another Live Blogfest!!!

That's right, my fellow faithfully-committed, I had so much fun with the Mega Marathon Blogfest back in January, that I've decided to do it again, this time for the World Premiere of The Asylum's latest Sci-Fi/SyFy epic, Battle of Los Angeles.


The film  - written and directed by Mark Atkins and starring Kel Mitchell and Nia Peeples - airs on SyFy this Saturday night, March 12th, at 9pm in every time zone, and starting at 8:30pm - Pacific Standard Time, of course - I'll be going live right here with background info on the story and the stars, live observation notes (spoiler free), taking your comments and jeers, and, as usual, posting embarrassing photographs of myself totally and utterly geeking out to a SyFy Saturday night.

On the menu I've got planned some Good Burgers (I know, I know, and if you think this is bad...) as well as a surprise Fruity Peeples Treat (...I warned you.) to snack on, and while I'll most likely be sticking to my usual libation (vodka tonic with lime), I will be sampling a few shots throughout the evening with "Alien" in the title, including (possibly, some of this shit sounds gross, but perhaps that's the point) the "Alien Nipple," the "Alien Secretion," the "Alien Suicide," and the "Alien Piss Sample." So, good times there.


Either way I'm getting what I think is gonna be a great movie out of the deal, so if you're watching this Saturday night at 9pm - which you and everyone you know should totally be doing - dial me up on the old interweb and enjoy my shenanigans as I step one millimeter closer to fulfilling my dream of becoming SyFy Saturday Nights' Robert Osborne.*




*I keep meaning to get a Facebook page up to this effect, a la Betty White and SNL, but all my energies in that department of late are focused on getting Billy Crystal back as the Oscars host.

Mega-Marathon Blogfest! Mega Live!

That's right ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and other children of all ages, the time is at last upon us, the day we faithfully Committed have been anticipating like a month of Christmases:

Go ahead and get your TV nice and warmed up, because over the next six hours it's nothing but Asylum mega-flicks on SyFy - Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Mega Piranha and the world television premiere of Mega Python vs. Gatoroid - and I'm gonna be prattling off live, right here, for the whole freakin' thing. I'm joined today by my lovely wife who has patiently agreed to sit near me while I geek out in such a mega fashion, and she even let me get her a t-shirt for the festivities.

So welcome! We got food, drinks, commentary, photo updates and live observation notes of the main event. I'll update this same post with a time stamp every time I leave a new comment, so just refresh your browser and scroll down for the latest shenanigans. And don't let me do all the talking! I'll be checking the comment boards live as well, so if you guys wanna chime in, add your own commentary or tear me a new one, go for it! We're all in this together! 

First up, the movie that started the mega craze, the movie with a top-ten most Googled trailer of 2009 (arguably the biggest spectacle year in Hollywood's history between District 9, Avatar, Star Trek, Up, 2012 and installments of the Transformers, Terminator, Harry Potter and Twilight franchises), the movie that turned an unknown megalodon into a household name:

  Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

 

5:01PM Ah, MSvGO. This will be the fifth time I've seen the film, and I swear each time it gets better. Gotta love the lengthy, elegiac opening. Beautiful shots, though. Lots of Asylum flicks open with these sweeping topographical montages. 100 Million BC, Dragon,  to name two.

Debbie's right..."there is poetry here." 

5:06PM Shout out to Jonathan Nation, the guy behind Debbie playing Vince. This guy is one of the most versatile supporting actors The Asylum has. He can play anybody, really. Check out his filmography. 

5:13PM I will never ever ever tire of watching Debbie Gibson swill liquor from a brown paper bag. It's like most other pop stars of her era these days. 

5:15PM First commercial, time for appetizers...

We got chips (shaped like shark teeth) and salsa con queso (cuz cheese rocks), a mega tub of cheese balls that I swear was a gift (which might say worse things about me than if I had purchased them myself) and jumbo shrimp. Yup. Jumbo shrimp. One could almost call them, by shrimp standards...mega. Oh yeah, I'm gonna be going there all night.

BTW...neat commercial about SyFy and IGN promoting the contest to help develop a SyFy original movie. If there's anyone actually following right now, tell me what you'd pitch.


5:22PM Still the BEST SHARK SCENE EVER!!! Shout out to Michael Parisi (if I have the right actor) for the one-scene performance in Asylum history!

5:29PM I've just decided, after seeing a couple commercials, I'll be doing a "bitch" count during MPvG, updating the stats at every commercial. Live blogging! Who knows what'll happen! 

5:34PM Check out the "do-me" eyes Debbie gives Vic upon their characters' first meeting. Steamy...

I often give some flack to these sorts of movies for over-explaining the scientific angle, but, and this just might be because I'm legitimately interested in sharks, but in this film these explanations, though copious, feel well-integrated and not at all forced or contrived.

5:38PM "What's that, a squid?"  (in disgruntled unison) "Octopus."  Ah, taxonomical humor, gets me every time. 

5:41PM Mega Shark, you sank my battleship! (couldn't resist) 

5:42PM Enter the Lamas...with a detainment camp joke...classy, Renegade. 

5:46PM Shout out to sonar tech (and Looney-nominee for Meteor Apocalypse) Cooper Harris.

5:52PM I am very stoked to learn Tiff and DG will be hosting premiere. My wife is excited to see Tiffany is wearing the same shirt as she.
  
5:56PM Still the MOST AWKWARD SEX SCENE EVER!!! And the quickest. And in the bluest broom closet. 

5:58PM DG to Vic: "I feel like we're just getting to know each other." After, you know, the broom closet sex. 

6:00PM Jet plane REJECTION by Giant Octopus. We need that guy on the Blazers. 

6:12PM Cocktail time! First up, a cocktail of my own creation, never-before tried, including by me, a little drink I'm calling The Electric Youth, in honor of the song by Ms. Gibson. Pour a couple fingers of vodka over ice, twice as much Mike's Hard Lemonade for that electric glow, then fill with soda. I'll give you the verdict in the minute. 

6:13PM Not bad. A refreshing citrusy libation to carry us warmly into act three.

6:16PM For me, the shark biting the Golden Gate Bridge will always be the quintessential Asylum image. There's a savage artistry to it that makes me smile every time. Nice work, Tiny Juggernaut. 

6:23PM I've decided that next Halloween I'm going as the guy in sunglasses holding the machine gun behind Vic Chao during the teleconference from Tokyo. Something about him just oozes badass. I think the actor is Conrad Lihilihi, whose only other credit is an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." Awesome. 

6:32PM "I still think about that night a lot." "Me too." "Every time I sweep up."   Ewwwwwwww. 

6:42PM Matt Lagan bellows a good order. 

6:49PM You're with us in spirit, Mr. Gable!  

6:55PM The shaking submarine scenes, as explained in the making-of featurette, worked off the old Star Trek method of shaking the camera while the performers sway to make it extra discombobulating. 

6:59PM Oh, man, sweet climax. This was the real Clash of the Titans. Farewell valiant Giant Octopus, and as for you Mega Shark, well, perhaps the next mega-marathon will feature your further exploits. And you, Ms. Gibson, we're two short hours away from catching up with you. But for now, we'll happily content ourselves with your "nemesis" and the next mega-marathon feature... 

Mega Piranha

7:01PM I've never actually seen this on TV...I wonder if it'll make sense without the boobs.

Mega Piranha was written and directed, of course, by Eric Forsberg, whose next Asylum project is the screenplay for  Almighty Thor.

7:04PM That's Mr. Forsberg there as the ambassador. 

7:06PM Enter the Brady. And the muscles that comprise Paul Logan

7:08PM And there's a pair of Looney-nominees, the lovely Tiffany and the impassioned Jude Gerard-Prest. Love the vests on both of them.

7:17PM Pizza's here! Naturally, I went with the biggest pie I could find, which at the moment is Pizza Hut's Big Dipper, basically just a doormat of cheesy bread with toppings and copious amounts of sweetened marinara for dipping. Only in America.

7:24PM I'm a big fan of the piranha effects here. To me, they have more personality than the ones in Piranha 3D. But, by and large, didn't care for Piranha 3D. Felt like the schmoes who made Epic, Date, Disaster, Superhero Movie etc. decided to do a send up of killer fish movies.

7:37PM When I say Barry Williams phoned this one in, it isn't the insult it usually is: so far every time he's been on screen he's been in a dimly lit environment talking into his phone. Nice work if you can get it.

7:48PM Another favorite moment of mine in this one is when Jude G-P has to be held back from rushing into the water to save the enemy soldier. The things he does with his hands are truly amazing.

7:51PM And for a scientist, G-P's character holds up remarkably well under torture.

7:54PM I loooooove the scenes of the kamikaze piranha launching themselves into buildings! This is one of the greatest action sequences in The Asylum's repertoire: between the great aerial footage, the CGI explosions and smoke, the shocking death of G-P, the screaming fit by Tiffany that ends with, "I just want to kill them all," and, of course, the piranha kick-assault by Paul Logan. Kudos, Mr. Forsberg.

8:00PM Thanks for following Jeff! We'll keep you apprised of all the good stuff, without giving too much away! 

8:07PM The next cocktail on the menu I'm calling a cherry bomb, for no reason. Remember, I'm a blogger, not a mixologist. Vodka to your liking, topped with cranberry juice and a splash of soda for carbonation, then a drizzle of grenadine for that extra flavor. Its a drink as sweet as Tiffany's voice.

8:15PM I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, but Paul Logan has the best run in The Asylum: so confident, so determined, so angry. I saw that coming at me, I'd give up on the spot.


8:23PM Some men, when attempting to ambush armed soldiers, will rely on stealth, secrecy, and silence. Paul Logan's not some men; he wants to take some dudes out, he's gonna run right up and punch 'em.  

8:30PM Lauren - of course we still have the cheese balls, there are thousands of them!

8:31PM Cooper Harris, back on sonar.


8:43PM Some badass prop weapons they got in this. Wonder if Barry Bostwick made them.

8:45PM Reporter bites it! (or rather, get bitten)

8:47PM Damn I love the FX in this. They may not be the most realistic, but when dealing with piranha the size of minivans, realism isn't so important to me. The FX are, however, convincing enough, vicious enough, and a helluva lot of fun.

8:51PM "You're fish food" cracks me up every time, and then...BOOM! Chopper grab! What a one-two punch of screenwriting!

8:59PM Whew, another doozy. Mega Piranha gets it all right, from story to acting to FX and direction, this is just a perfect example of an Asylum film. No wonder it's so beloved. My only cringe came with the awkward, almost-inexplicable kiss between Tiffany and Paul Logan. Even upon multiple viewings, the love story in this I still don't see. But as exciting as seeing that again was, as exciting as the whole evening's been, it's all only been but a precursor to the moment we now find ourselves on the threshold of, the world television (west cast) premiere of easily the most anticipated film of the year...

Mega Python vs Gatoroid (!!!!!)

Man, this is some awesome stuff. Now, these are observation notes, my review of the film, but don't worry, I won't spoil it, promise. 

There are the ladies - both looking fabulous - and here comes the flick. Hold on! 

9:02PM Oh jeez. I think I've mentioned a time or two how scared I am of snakes, like really, really scared. Fake ones I can handle, but those there, those are very, very real.

On the plus side, DG's character is already proving herself to be a badass. Debbie fits that personality well; she's quite believable as a over-confident bitch. And I swear, that's a compliment.


Oh jeez, so many real snakes. Not cool.

9:05PM MPvG was written by Naomi Selfman, the same brilliant pen behind MSvC, so you know she knows her mega movies. 

Ooh, ooh, there's TIffany! And wow, one scene in and you can already sense how she's grown as an actress. She's less stiff, more even with her delivery, just generally more at ease.

9:09PM Hillbillies, apparently, despite being largely racist, have a penchant for mail order brides. I'm learning already.

So the basic gist is this: Debbie's a fanatic animal rights activist who frees a bunch of snakes from a lab and lets them go in the Everglades. Not an indigenous species, the naturally F-up the ecosystem, specifically the endangered alligator population. Tiffany is a gator-lovin' local sheriff. That's about as far as we've gotten.

9:14PM That's Carey Van Dyke playing Tiffany's fiance Justin. He's Barry's son and Shane's brother, and here exudes a casual confidence, a typical small town tough guy with a heart of gold. And Kathryn Johnson as Tiff's sister-in-law-enforcement is always a welcome addition to any cast.

Shh...first scene with Tiff and DG face to face; it's like Heat, but not a letdown. 

9:18PM First commercial. Bitch count: 3

So far this is pretty fun, it's light-hearted but not in a self-aware sense, rather just adopting not a lighter, but a less serious tone. When films like this feature military or political characters at their center, they tend to be heavier, more stern; but in instances like this, where it's regular people at the heart of the story - that is, people not trained to handle extreme situations - there's a more coloquial feel to things that I personally enjoy. I mean, I expect people with access to nuclear weapons to be able to handle most anything. It's when extreme stuff happens to normal people that I find the most to enjoy, and so far this film seems to be of that frame of mind.

9:26PM Kevin M. Horton as the younger deputy is turning out to be a notable member of the ensemble. I wouldn't call him comic relief, necessarily, but he is a light spot, and fun to watch.

9:29PM Man, like I said above, usually fake snakes don't mess with me, but these - are there are a lot of them - are pretty good, FX-wise, which is to say, I don't like them one bit. They are not skimping on the "mega" part of "mega python." I am not going to sleep well tonight at all. 

9:31PM Tiffany's rage-acting has gotten much, much better. 

Second commercial. Bitch count: 5

9:37PM Whoever just googled "Debbie Gibson feet pics" and got my blog, gross, and sorry for not having any pics. 

9:40PM "We need a bigger gator!" Uh-oh... 

9:42PM Just a note to say that this film has a unique look to it, that is, unique for Asylum films. It looks crisper, the action is smaller-scale (you know, local destruction instead of global) but sharper. Could be due to a bigger budget, or could be do that I'm seeing it for the first time on TV. Either way, Ms. Lambert's crafting herself a fine film here.

Oh, and it looks like - not a big spoiler here - whatever Gatoroid is, he's going to be steroid-induced.

9:47PM Enter the A. (Martinez) He's a steely herpetologist with a great peppered James-Hetfield-mustache who drops the bomb that the pythons are getting more mega. But they're not the only ones...

And...wait...a minute...Debbie Gibson pop song...metabolic graphics...this...is...MEGA PYTHON vs GATOROID!!!

9:52PM Yo...Gatoroid is well worth the wait. Looks better than Supercroc, more believable than Crocosaurus (sometimes big is too big. that's what she...nevermind). And apparently the term "gatoroid," like "python" here, stays the same whether referring to a singular or plural of the species. Awesome. 

9:57PM Another commercial. Bitch count still at 5. Here at the halfway point, I have to say I'm pretty pleased: the story's lively and moving along at a good pace, the acting is great across the board, both leads have come a long way from their previous mega-roles, and the FX so far have been pretty f'ing rad. And I got a feeling the best stuff is still to come. They keep mentioning a monkey...

10:03PM That bearded hillbilly fella, Kaiwi Lyman, who also appeared in MSvC, has an uncredited role in the Hollywood Thor as a viking. Nice to see a fellow beardo getting work. 

Ooh...cocktail party! Which can only mean there's a catifght looming. And...oh god...not monkey, Monkee. Mickey Dolenz. Hilarious that even though I knew he was in this, the way the story approached it, I was totally suckered off-guard. Nicely done, Ms. Selfman. Mickey looks good, by the way, and still has those acting chops.

10:12PM Oh yeah...I made desert:

That, my friends, is a two-pound rice krispie treat I frosted myself. That's the kind of time and weird devotion I have.

10:15PM Tiffany's sonic contribution, "Serpentine," is getting its air play. That song's actually growing on me. 

10:17PM And it's on now...CATFIGHT!!!

Honestly, the chemistry between these two, as rivals, is great. And I know they're all good for real, but they really seem to bring out the bitch in each other in the best possible way. Whatever camp value people attached to this because of the leads, fine, but from here on out, I don't think - within the genre, at least - these two have to be thought of as singers first. I don't know if TV movies are eligible, but this scene should definitely go up for Best Fight at the MTV Movie Awards. Make an exception; it's worth it. And the music that accompanies said fight? Hilariously appropriate.

10:18PM Everyone in Florida is armed! 

10:26PM Commerical. Bitch count: 7

Getting down to the home stretch here, the last half hour, act three, and I have to say that thus far I've been nothing but impressed. This is just good fun, thrilling and violent, light on its feet and packed with humor, horror, camp and a slight tough of self-awareness that has yet to feel contrived or overdone. It is what it promised to be: a helluva enjoyable way to spend a Saturday night.

10:30PM Now the terror goes metropolitan...nice. All this was missing was explosions.

10:31PM ASYLUM BLIMP!!! BALLER!!!

10:44PM Being extra careful now in this last bit not to give anything away. The FX are still great; the more I see - and there's a lot to see - the more I like. The snakes will be slithering in my nightmares for sure, and the gators are massive terrors. How they stack up to Supercroc and Crocosaurus is a guaranteed creature feature post sometime in the near, near future. 

10:51PM If there's anyone actually watching along with me, I hope you're having as much fun as I am...two words are coming to mind: Cult Classic

11:02PM Wow. That's really all I can say in the moment: wow. I'm pretty spent from all this, emotionally frazzled, you could say, and I want to give the film 24 hours to marinate in my mind before I post my overall thoughts, but for now, in the moment, I'm pleased. Everything I said I liked above was well-supported by an exciting and dynamic climax. In the moment, I liked it better than MSvC, and you guys know how much I liked that one. Check back on Monday for my final thoughts and hopefully some ratings info that puts viewership tonight over 2.5 million, the current record, held by - ick - Sharktopus. I'm predicting 2.8. We'll see. Anywho, thanks for indulging me, if you did, and following this insane whim. Who knows? Maybe we'll get the chance to do this again in March when Battle of Los Angeles gets its SyFy premiere. Okay guys, sweet dreams, thanks for tuning in, and as always, stay committed!

P.S. final bitch count: 8