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Showing posts with label Paul Logan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Paul Logan. Show all posts

inmate profile: Cole S. McKay


Take a look at the picture up there, a good look: the penetrating stare, the awesome fucking mustache, the jacket; that, ladies and gentlemen, is what a Badass looks like.

Cole S. McKay: stunt man extraordinaire turned director. Kinda like Colt Seavers, but real. Earlier this year he directed 200 MPH, The Asylum's white-knuckle racing flick. His latest project? You guessed it, the upcoming Asylum release 3 Musketeers

There isn't a lot of biographical info on Mr. McKay online, but his resume more than speaks for itself. Since 1986 he has served as a stunt man in one capacity or another for 221 films and television productions. 221. Even cooler, know what his first film was? Three Amigos. Uh-huh. Badass.

Other films Mr. McKay defied death in include Star Trek VI, Demonic Toys, Leprechaun, Super Mario Brothers, Lost Highway, Wishmaster 1 & 2, The Devil's Rejects, American Pie Band Camp, a driving double for Kyle Gass in Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny, and Cloverfield. He's also worked with The Asylum several times as the stunt coordinator for The Terminators, Ballistica, Titanic II and Battle of Los Angeles. Badass, badass, badass.


McKay started directing in 1988, and among his more notable films are Star Hunter, co-directed by Fred Olen Ray (father of MSvC, Almighty Thor and 2 Headed Shark Attack director Christopher Ray) starring Roddy McDowell and Stella Stevens, and his last non-Asylum film, 2006's Special Ops: Delta Force, which featured Titanic II and Mega Fault's Bruce Davison.

And the best of all this background is that McKay's storied career path has led him to present moment, on the cusp of releasing his second directorial effort for The Asylum, 3 Musketeers, on DVD next Tuesday, October 25th. His next effort is also kinda Asylum-related: he'll be directing Blackgate, a film written by and starring Asylum vet Paul Logan.

One more time: Badass!

Ballistica on DVD Today

That's right, for the second Tuesday in a row, there's a brand new Asylum movie waiting at your favorite video store/kiosk/queue: Ballistica starring Paul Logan, Martin Kove and Robert Davi.


I've already weighed in on this bad boy right here, but if you don't have the time to click through, here's my opinion in a nutshell: BADASS. Part political thriller, part action spectacle, Ballistica delivers on both fronts, and is well-worth a watch. 

So why are you still reading? Go! Go!

observation notes: Ballistica

Another week, another Asylum release; we should always be this lucky. This week it’s the action flick that’s been on The Asylum’s schedule since late last year, and now at last the release is upon us: ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ballistica.

So here’s the set-up: “Ballistica,”  it seems, is more than just a fancy title - it’s a hybrid form of martial arts combining weapons training and hand-to-hand combat; think tai-chi with guns. CIA Operative Damien (Paul Logan), is the world’s foremost practitioner of this new fighting style, making him our government’s best defense against terrorism all sizes. When that terrorism turns towards something called “genetic implosion” - it’s as bad as it sounds - they’re going to need all the defense they can get.

What follows is a film that’s part political-thriller, part action-spectacle, part martial-arts display, and even bit of good, old-fashioned hero-worship-turned-impromptu-romance.

Paul Logan as Damien brings the fierce, angrily-confident capability we expect of him, plus an extra, hearty dose of badass. Mega Piranha is probably the closest to an all-out action flick as I’ve seen him in, but this one is even more all-out, and this guy is a bona fide star. He’s got everything an action hero requires: grizzled good lucks, a gruff exterior over a genuinely righteous heart, a voice that could grate stone, amazing physicality and like, 0% body fat.

Martin Kove as Damien’s “handler,” I guess, plays it calmer than I’m used to seeing him, but no less intense, which is only a testament to the actor’s power no matter what the emotion. His embroidered vest, however, I could have done without.

Robert Davi as the liaison between the Ballistica program and governmental higher-ups is also more restrained than usual, a cool, calm and calculating administrator, quietly honorable. The scenes with these two together were like the B-movie equivalent of the diner scene in Heat, but, you know, an actual payoff.

Other cast standouts include C.B. Spencer as “Alexa,” the beautiful scientist who never realized the dangers of her research now aiding in its destruction, Andrew Divoff (”LOST”) as “Dragomir,” the evil Russian mastermind - a respected character actor with a long history of greatness, this guy’s an evil chameleon; you give him the villain, he’ll knock it out of the part. Here is no exception. Also notable, the lovely, formidable and probably quite dangerous stunt woman/actress Lauren Mary Kim as “Fang.” Think Nia Peeples meets Morena Baccarin with the disposition of Jason Statham.

I’m hard-pressed at the moment to think of another straight-up government-oriented action-thriller in The Asylum’s catalog (that isn’t tinged with sci-fi, horror or disaster elements) and I, for one, hope Ballistica isn’t the last. Direct-to-DVD action films are practically as common as direct-to-DVD horror films, and as such, are pretty hit-and-miss. But this was upscale in my book - smart, intense, action-packed - and there should be more like it. The FX were plausible, the action sequences well-choreographed, the story intriguing, all adding up to a slick spectacle that barely gives you time to blink, let alone breathe. 


 

The action movie has changed a lot over the last few decades, to the point that most all these days come heavily loaded with political rhetoric; we live in a “Bourne” world, just guns and bad guys alone aren’t going to cut it anymore, but too often these films come imbalanced one way or the other - either there’s too many explosions and no story, or it’s all story with only a few action sequences. Ballistica, for my money, does a nice job of striking this balance, filling the space between its action sequences with just enough explanatory exposition to satisfy our instinctual need for narrative continuity. Hats off to director Gary Jones and writers Tony Kandah and Sean Rourke for pulling it off. When you figure in great acting and taut action sequences, if you’re a fan of the genre, you’ll be a fan of Ballistica.

inmate profile: Gary Jones

With the DVD release of The Asylum's next film, Ballistica less than a week away, I don't have a lot of time to spotlight the film's creative forces, so I have to move fast. Up first, the film's director, Gary Jones.

Jones began his career in Hollywood in Special Effects, and on some pretty, pretty, pretty awesome films: Evil Dead II, Army of Darkness and a certain bayou-centric JCVD film by the name of Hard Target, among others.

From FX Jones segued into second unit directing on a variety of iconic titles including "Xena," Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys and Man With The Screaming Brain.

Along the way, Jones threw his hat into almost every moviemaking ring there is: make-up effects, digital effect, camera operating, title designer, writing, producing, a little acting and, of course, directing.

Jones made his directorial debut in 1995 with the sci-fi creature feature Mosquito, starring Gunnar Hansen (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ('74)),. What followed were a handful of episodes of "Xena" and "Hercules" then a barrage of awesome B-movie gems: Spiders with a story by Asylum-esque producer extraordinaire Boaz Davidson, Crocodile 2: Death Swamp with Ballistica's Martin Kove, The Asylum's own Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove, Planet Raptor with Steven Bauer, Vanessa Angel and Ted Raimi, Ghouls, Boogeyman 3 and now Ballistica, out on DVD Tuesday, May 17th.

outside the walls: May DVD Releases


I recognize that not all great films are made exclusively by The Asylum and that, in fact, there's a whole world of film outside these walls, some of which might actually interest Asylum fans - when they're not watching or re-watching Asylum films, of course. And, being as I'm only looking out for your viewing well-being, here's a peek at some other DVD releases this month which might satiate you between Asylum releases. But remember, as always, Sweet n' Low ain't sugar.

MAY 3




Bound by Blood: Wendigo











Ninjas vs. Vampires











Sinister










MAY 10



Almighty Thor

Cody Deal
Richard Grieco
Kevin Nash

written by Eric Forsberg
directed by Christopher Ray











Black Death











Cougars, Inc.











Dahmer vs. Gacy











The Hit List











I Saw the Devil











The Violent Kind










MAY 17



Ballistica

Paul Logan
Martin Kove
Robert Davi














The Blood Shed











The Mechanic











The Rite











Takedown











Vanishing on 7th Street










MAY 24



The Big Bang











Death Hunter: Werewolves vs Vampires









observation notes: 200MPH

In the vein of the Fast and Furious movies and its own Street Racer, this high-octane gift from the fine folks at The Asylum comes courtesy of writer Thunder Levin and director Cole S. McKay, and tells the story of a young amateur racer (Jaz Martin) who falls into the seedy and dangerous world of illegal street racing following the death of his older brother. 

It's a simple enough plot, but the story isn't the star here; that would be the pulse-pounding, adrenaline-boosting action sequences. And there's a bunch of them, all expertly choreographed and directed. Are they rolling 18-wheelers like F&F? No way, not for the budget, but McKay and his crew stretch their dollars to the max, giving us an array of fast and furious displays of automotive prowess that are worth every penny.

As for the human components of the film, lead Jaz Martin, in one of his first big roles, is spot on right out of the gate as the humbly-over-achieving younger brother just looking to race for the love of cars but thrust into a world bigger, deeper and darker than himself. His character travels through the widest emotional spectrum, and at every band Martin's right there and ready. He sort of reminds me of a younger Adam Scott, which is a good thing. We'll be seeing more of him in the future, I'd bet.

AnnaMaria Demara as Jaz's girlfriend Claudia stands out from the first frame she's in, and as more than just a remarkably pretty face (think Eva Longoria meets Mila Kunis with a dash of Tiffani-Amber Thiessen); she exudes a sultry sort of confidence and a feminine bravado that is as enchanting as everything else about her. Furthermore - and I honestly mean this in the nicest way possible - this girl was born to start a drag race.

Other cast standouts include Hennelly Jimenez as the car-smart and midriff-baring mechanic, Tommy Nash as the ill-fated older brother, Darren Thomas (Born Bad, 2012: Ice Age) as the evil Kayce and, of course, the great Paul Logan (Ballistica, Mega Piranha) as the crooked Officer Flynn.


In terms of story, as mentioned, this is a basic vengeance tale, but a well-executed one that offers a fair amount of detail into L.A. street racing culture, and strippers. Seriously, the majority of female characters in this movie are strippers by trade, including Jaz's girlfriend and mom. Though there are a couple of weird points - sons joking about mom's job as a stripper (keeping in mind both sons are in their 20's, making mom...not), son visiting mom at the strip club and conversing with her while she's topless, some interesting dance montages, and this line: "no, this is me, the man with your balls in his hand," though not actually holding anyone's balls -  but all in all this is a film with a lot of heart for an action flick, more heart, in fact, than most of the F&F films, without sacrificing action. Plus, they drop like fifty f-bombs. Just sayin'.


If you enjoy race films, action films, beautiful women dancing while scantily-clad and neon, I can't see any reason you wouldn't enjoy the hell out of this one. I did. Find it on DVD this Tuesday.

Another Mega-Event for Philly Asylum Fans!

Jill Sybesma of the Academy of Natural Sciences in good old Philly, PA, dropped me an email this last weekend to say in the wake of the success of the Academy's public screening of Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, they've got another movie night on the calender for Thursday, April 14 from 7 to 10 pm,  and this time they're showing the multiple-Looney-award-winning Mega Piranha.

infographic from Stephen Taubman

So any Asylum fans in or around the City of Brotherly Love this 4/14 should check out the info here then head over to the ANS for an evening of big-screen Mega fun, live and scientific "MST3K-style" commentary, beer for legal drinkers and, of course, Tiffany, Paul Logan, Jude Gerard Prest et al taking on a school of infinitely-increasing piranha. Thanks again to Jill for the info!

Asylum Star and Asylum Director Collaborate Outisde the Walls!

Special thanks to Asylum actor and fellow faithfully-committed Ed DeRuiter (The Source, Way of the Vampire, War of the Worlds, Battle of Los Angeles), who emailed this morning with details on an exciting new project just entering production featuring Committed-fave Paul Logan (MegaFault, Mega Piranha, upcoming Ballistica) - who not only stars in the film but also wrote and is producing it - entitled Blackgate. And while there's no involvement by The Asylum, it is set in one. The official synopsis:

"Blackgate Asylum houses the worst of the worst of the criminally insane. It is basically a supermax prison masquerading as a hospital. Out of the 388 patients there, most are your average, mentally disturbed individuals.  Locked up in the high security, penitentiary-style South wing are the Lifers.  All of the murderers, rapists, child molesters, serial killers and sociopaths that have been dubbed 'criminally insane' in order to avoid spending the rest of their lives on death row are now spending their lives here... They get the patients that all of the other prisons can’t handle or don’t want. There have been 38 escape attempts since they opened, none successful.  This is the most secure facility in the country...Until tonight.

Among the Lifers is Dr. Julian Sinclair, a Mensa-level genius who is also a sophisticated sociopath. Sinclair has just been dubbed “sane” by the courts and is due to be transferred to a maximum security prison and straight to death row to await execution.  Sinclair orchestrates an elaborate escape plan which begins with the release of all of the Lifers into the general population with one simple order…kill.


The Lifers make their way through the sedate area and proceed to slaughter everyone in their path. Locked in one of the holding cells, there for observations after his last case, is detective Jake Malone. Malone, unarmed, makes his way through the asylum fighting psychopath after psychopath. He rescues a young doctor, Talia and uses all his special forces training to keep them both alive and find a way to stop Sinclair’s escape plan. In this life or death game of cat and mouse Malone must use his wits, detective and fighting skills to deduce and stop this maniac’s plan before Sinclair and the rest of the killers escape."

Mr. Logan is set to play Jake Malone, the cop caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. Furthermore, there's another Asylum connection, as Blackgate is being directed by Cole S. McKay, who only weeks ago finished directed Mr. Logan - as well as Jaz Martin and AnnaMaria De Mara - in 200mph. Blackgate just started pre-production, so there's not much more on this one as of yet, but jump over to the Blackgate blogspot for details as they emerge. 

And check out tipster Ed DeRuiter Saturday, March 12, 2011 in the SyFy Premiere of Battle of Los Angeles, 9pm wherever you are.

Mega-Marathon Blogfest! Mega Live!

That's right ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and other children of all ages, the time is at last upon us, the day we faithfully Committed have been anticipating like a month of Christmases:



Go ahead and get your TV nice and warmed up, because over the next six hours it's nothing but Asylum mega-flicks on SyFy - Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Mega Piranha and the world television premiere of Mega Python vs. Gatoroid - and I'm gonna be prattling off live, right here, for the whole freakin' thing. I'm joined today by my lovely wife who has patiently agreed to sit near me while I geek out in such a mega fashion, and she even let me get her a t-shirt for the festivities.


So welcome! We got food, drinks, commentary, photo updates and live observation notes of the main event. I'll update this same post with a time stamp every time I leave a new comment, so just refresh your browser and scroll down for the latest shenanigans. And don't let me do all the talking! I'll be checking the comment boards live as well, so if you guys wanna chime in, add your own commentary or tear me a new one, go for it! We're all in this together! 


First up, the movie that started the mega craze, the movie with a top-ten most Googled trailer of 2009 (arguably the biggest spectacle year in Hollywood's history between District 9, Avatar, Star Trek, Up, 2012 and installments of the Transformers, Terminator, Harry Potter and Twilight franchises), the movie that turned an unknown megalodon into a household name:

  Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
 

5:01PM Ah, MSvGO. This will be the fifth time I've seen the film, and I swear each time it gets better. Gotta love the lengthy, elegiac opening. Beautiful shots, though. Lots of Asylum flicks open with these sweeping topographical montages. 100 Million BC, Dragon,  to name two.

Debbie's right..."there is poetry here." 

5:06PM Shout out to Jonathan Nation, the guy behind Debbie playing Vince. This guy is one of the most versatile supporting actors The Asylum has. He can play anybody, really. Check out his filmography

5:13PM I will never ever ever tire of watching Debbie Gibson swill liquor from a brown paper bag. It's like most other pop stars of her era these days. 

5:15PM First commercial, time for appetizers...



We got chips (shaped like shark teeth) and salsa con queso (cuz cheese rocks), a mega tub of cheese balls that I swear was a gift (which might say worse things about me than if I had purchased them myself) and jumbo shrimp. Yup. Jumbo shrimp. One could almost call them, by shrimp standards...mega. Oh yeah, I'm gonna be going there all night.

BTW...neat commercial about SyFy and IGN promoting the contest to help develop a SyFy original movie. If there's anyone actually following right now, tell me what you'd pitch.


5:22PM Still the BEST SHARK SCENE EVER!!! Shout out to Michael Parisi (if I have the right actor) for the one-scene performance in Asylum history!

5:29PM I've just decided, after seeing a couple commercials, I'll be doing a "bitch" count during MPvG, updating the stats at every commercial. Live blogging! Who knows what'll happen! 

5:34PM Check out the "do-me" eyes Debbie gives Vic upon their characters' first meeting. Steamy...

I often give some flack to these sorts of movies for over-explaining the scientific angle, but, and this just might be because I'm legitimately interested in sharks, but in this film these explanations, though copious, feel well-integrated and not at all forced or contrived.

5:38PM "What's that, a squid?"  (in disgruntled unison) "Octopus."  Ah, taxonomical humor, gets me every time. 

5:41PM Mega Shark, you sank my battleship! (couldn't resist) 

5:42PM Enter the Lamas...with a detainment camp joke...classy, Renegade. 

5:46PM Shout out to sonar tech (and Looney-nominee for Meteor Apocalypse) Cooper Harris.

5:52PM I am very stoked to learn Tiff and DG will be hosting premiere. My wife is excited to see Tiffany is wearing the same shirt as she.
  
5:56PM Still the MOST AWKWARD SEX SCENE EVER!!! And the quickest. And in the bluest broom closet. 

5:58PM DG to Vic: "I feel like we're just getting to know each other." After, you know, the broom closet sex. 

6:00PM Jet plane REJECTION by Giant Octopus. We need that guy on the Blazers. 

6:12PM Cocktail time! First up, a cocktail of my own creation, never-before tried, including by me, a little drink I'm calling The Electric Youth, in honor of the song by Ms. Gibson. Pour a couple fingers of vodka over ice, twice as much Mike's Hard Lemonade for that electric glow, then fill with soda. I'll give you the verdict in the minute. 



6:13PM Not bad. A refreshing citrusy libation to carry us warmly into act three.


6:16PM For me, the shark biting the Golden Gate Bridge will always be the quintessential Asylum image. There's a savage artistry to it that makes me smile every time. Nice work, Tiny Juggernaut. 

6:23PM I've decided that next Halloween I'm going as the guy in sunglasses holding the machine gun behind Vic Chao during the teleconference from Tokyo. Something about him just oozes badass. I think the actor is Conrad Lihilihi, whose only other credit is an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." Awesome. 

6:32PM "I still think about that night a lot." "Me too." "Every time I sweep up."   Ewwwwwwww. 

6:42PM Matt Lagan bellows a good order. 

6:49PM You're with us in spirit, Mr. Gable!  

6:55PM The shaking submarine scenes, as explained in the making-of featurette, worked off the old Star Trek method of shaking the camera while the performers sway to make it extra discombobulating. 

6:59PM Oh, man, sweet climax. This was the real Clash of the Titans. Farewell valiant Giant Octopus, and as for you Mega Shark, well, perhaps the next mega-marathon will feature your further exploits. And you, Ms. Gibson, we're two short hours away from catching up with you. But for now, we'll happily content ourselves with your "nemesis" and the next mega-marathon feature... 

Mega Piranha

7:01PM I've never actually seen this on TV...I wonder if it'll make sense without the boobs.
Mega Piranha was written and directed, of course, by Eric Forsberg, whose next Asylum project is the screenplay for  Almighty Thor.

7:04PM That's Mr. Forsberg there as the ambassador. 

7:06PM Enter the Brady. And the muscles that comprise Paul Logan

7:08PM And there's a pair of Looney-nominees, the lovely Tiffany and the impassioned Jude Gerard-Prest. Love the vests on both of them.

7:17PM Pizza's here! Naturally, I went with the biggest pie I could find, which at the moment is Pizza Hut's Big Dipper, basically just a doormat of cheesy bread with toppings and copious amounts of sweetened marinara for dipping. Only in America.



7:24PM I'm a big fan of the piranha effects here. To me, they have more personality than the ones in Piranha 3D. But, by and large, didn't care for Piranha 3D. Felt like the schmoes who made Epic, Date, Disaster, Superhero Movie etc. decided to do a send up of killer fish movies.

7:37PM When I say Barry Williams phoned this one in, it isn't the insult it usually is: so far every time he's been on screen he's been in a dimly lit environment talking into his phone. Nice work if you can get it.

7:48PM Another favorite moment of mine in this one is when Jude G-P has to be held back from rushing into the water to save the enemy soldier. The things he does with his hands are truly amazing.

7:51PM And for a scientist, G-P's character holds up remarkably well under torture.

7:54PM I loooooove the scenes of the kamikaze piranha launching themselves into buildings! This is one of the greatest action sequences in The Asylum's repertoire: between the great aerial footage, the CGI explosions and smoke, the shocking death of G-P, the screaming fit by Tiffany that ends with, "I just want to kill them all," and, of course, the piranha kick-assault by Paul Logan. Kudos, Mr. Forsberg.

8:00PM Thanks for following Jeff! We'll keep you apprised of all the good stuff, without giving too much away! 

8:07PM The next cocktail on the menu I'm calling a cherry bomb, for no reason. Remember, I'm a blogger, not a mixologist. Vodka to your liking, topped with cranberry juice and a splash of soda for carbonation, then a drizzle of grenadine for that extra flavor. Its a drink as sweet as Tiffany's voice.



8:15PM I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, but Paul Logan has the best run in The Asylum: so confident, so determined, so angry. I saw that coming at me, I'd give up on the spot.


8:23PM Some men, when attempting to ambush armed soldiers, will rely on stealth, secrecy, and silence. Paul Logan's not some men; he wants to take some dudes out, he's gonna run right up and punch 'em.  

8:30PM Lauren - of course we still have the cheese balls, there are thousands of them!

8:31PM Cooper Harris, back on sonar.


8:43PM Some badass prop weapons they got in this. Wonder if Barry Bostwick made them.

8:45PM Reporter bites it! (or rather, get bitten)

8:47PM Damn I love the FX in this. They may not be the most realistic, but when dealing with piranha the size of minivans, realism isn't so important to me. The FX are, however, convincing enough, vicious enough, and a helluva lot of fun.

8:51PM "You're fish food" cracks me up every time, and then...BOOM! Chopper grab! What a one-two punch of screenwriting!

8:59PM Whew, another doozy. Mega Piranha gets it all right, from story to acting to FX and direction, this is just a perfect example of an Asylum film. No wonder it's so beloved. My only cringe came with the awkward, almost-inexplicable kiss between Tiffany and Paul Logan. Even upon multiple viewings, the love story in this I still don't see. But as exciting as seeing that again was, as exciting as the whole evening's been, it's all only been but a precursor to the moment we now find ourselves on the threshold of, the world television (west cast) premiere of easily the most anticipated film of the year...

Mega Python vs Gatoroid (!!!!!)



Man, this is some awesome stuff. Now, these are observation notes, my review of the film, but don't worry, I won't spoil it, promise. 

There are the ladies - both looking fabulous - and here comes the flick. Hold on! 

9:02PM Oh jeez. I think I've mentioned a time or two how scared I am of snakes, like really, really scared. Fake ones I can handle, but those there, those are very, very real.

On the plus side, DG's character is already proving herself to be a badass. Debbie fits that personality well; she's quite believable as a over-confident bitch. And I swear, that's a compliment.


Oh jeez, so many real snakes. Not cool.

9:05PM MPvG was written by Naomi Selfman, the same brilliant pen behind MSvC, so you know she knows her mega movies. 

Ooh, ooh, there's TIffany! And wow, one scene in and you can already sense how she's grown as an actress. She's less stiff, more even with her delivery, just generally more at ease.

9:09PM Hillbillies, apparently, despite being largely racist, have a penchant for mail order brides. I'm learning already.

So the basic gist is this: Debbie's a fanatic animal rights activist who frees a bunch of snakes from a lab and lets them go in the Everglades. Not an indigenous species, the naturally F-up the ecosystem, specifically the endangered alligator population. Tiffany is a gator-lovin' local sheriff. That's about as far as we've gotten.

9:14PM That's Carey Van Dyke playing Tiffany's fiance Justin. He's Barry's son and Shane's brother, and here exudes a casual confidence, a typical small town tough guy with a heart of gold. And Kathryn Johnson as Tiff's sister-in-law-enforcement is always a welcome addition to any cast.

Shh...first scene with Tiff and DG face to face; it's like Heat, but not a letdown. 

9:18PM First commercial. Bitch count: 3

So far this is pretty fun, it's light-hearted but not in a self-aware sense, rather just adopting not a lighter, but a less serious tone. When films like this feature military or political characters at their center, they tend to be heavier, more stern; but in instances like this, where it's regular people at the heart of the story - that is, people not trained to handle extreme situations - there's a more coloquial feel to things that I personally enjoy. I mean, I expect people with access to nuclear weapons to be able to handle most anything. It's when extreme stuff happens to normal people that I find the most to enjoy, and so far this film seems to be of that frame of mind.

9:26PM Kevin M. Horton as the younger deputy is turning out to be a notable member of the ensemble. I wouldn't call him comic relief, necessarily, but he is a light spot, and fun to watch.

9:29PM Man, like I said above, usually fake snakes don't mess with me, but these - are there are a lot of them - are pretty good, FX-wise, which is to say, I don't like them one bit. They are not skimping on the "mega" part of "mega python." I am not going to sleep well tonight at all. 

9:31PM Tiffany's rage-acting has gotten much, much better. 

Second commercial. Bitch count: 5

9:37PM Whoever just googled "Debbie Gibson feet pics" and got my blog, gross, and sorry for not having any pics. 

9:40PM "We need a bigger gator!" Uh-oh... 

9:42PM Just a note to say that this film has a unique look to it, that is, unique for Asylum films. It looks crisper, the action is smaller-scale (you know, local destruction instead of global) but sharper. Could be due to a bigger budget, or could be do that I'm seeing it for the first time on TV. Either way, Ms. Lambert's crafting herself a fine film here.

Oh, and it looks like - not a big spoiler here - whatever Gatoroid is, he's going to be steroid-induced.

9:47PM Enter the A. (Martinez) He's a steely herpetologist with a great peppered James-Hetfield-mustache who drops the bomb that the pythons are getting more mega. But they're not the only ones...

And...wait...a minute...Debbie Gibson pop song...metabolic graphics...this...is...MEGA PYTHON vs GATOROID!!!

9:52PM Yo...Gatoroid is well worth the wait. Looks better than Supercroc, more believable than Crocosaurus (sometimes big is too big. that's what she...nevermind). And apparently the term "gatoroid," like "python" here, stays the same whether referring to a singular or plural of the species. Awesome. 

9:57PM Another commercial. Bitch count still at 5. Here at the halfway point, I have to say I'm pretty pleased: the story's lively and moving along at a good pace, the acting is great across the board, both leads have come a long way from their previous mega-roles, and the FX so far have been pretty f'ing rad. And I got a feeling the best stuff is still to come. They keep mentioning a monkey...

10:03PM That bearded hillbilly fella, Kaiwi Lyman, who also appeared in MSvC, has an uncredited role in the Hollywood Thor as a viking. Nice to see a fellow beardo getting work. 

Ooh...cocktail party! Which can only mean there's a catifght looming. And...oh god...not monkey, Monkee. Mickey Dolenz. Hilarious that even though I knew he was in this, the way the story approached it, I was totally suckered off-guard. Nicely done, Ms. Selfman. Mickey looks good, by the way, and still has those acting chops.

10:12PM Oh yeah...I made desert:


That, my friends, is a two-pound rice krispie treat I frosted myself. That's the kind of time and weird devotion I have.

10:15PM Tiffany's sonic contribution, "Serpentine," is getting its air play. That song's actually growing on me. 

10:17PM And it's on now...CATFIGHT!!!

Honestly, the chemistry between these two, as rivals, is great. And I know they're all good for real, but they really seem to bring out the bitch in each other in the best possible way. Whatever camp value people attached to this because of the leads, fine, but from here on out, I don't think - within the genre, at least - these two have to be thought of as singers first. I don't know if TV movies are eligible, but this scene should definitely go up for Best Fight at the MTV Movie Awards. Make an exception; it's worth it. And the music that accompanies said fight? Hilariously appropriate.

10:18PM Everyone in Florida is armed! 

10:26PM Commerical. Bitch count: 7

Getting down to the home stretch here, the last half hour, act three, and I have to say that thus far I've been nothing but impressed. This is just good fun, thrilling and violent, light on its feet and packed with humor, horror, camp and a slight tough of self-awareness that has yet to feel contrived or overdone. It is what it promised to be: a helluva enjoyable way to spend a Saturday night.

10:30PM Now the terror goes metropolitan...nice. All this was missing was explosions.

10:31PM ASYLUM BLIMP!!! BALLER!!!

10:44PM Being extra careful now in this last bit not to give anything away. The FX are still great; the more I see - and there's a lot to see - the more I like. The snakes will be slithering in my nightmares for sure, and the gators are massive terrors. How they stack up to Supercroc and Crocosaurus is a guaranteed creature feature post sometime in the near, near future. 

10:51PM If there's anyone actually watching along with me, I hope you're having as much fun as I am...two words are coming to mind: Cult Classic

11:02PM Wow. That's really all I can say in the moment: wow. I'm pretty spent from all this, emotionally frazzled, you could say, and I want to give the film 24 hours to marinate in my mind before I post my overall thoughts, but for now, in the moment, I'm pleased. Everything I said I liked above was well-supported by an exciting and dynamic climax. In the moment, I liked it better than MSvC, and you guys know how much I liked that one. Check back on Monday for my final thoughts and hopefully some ratings info that puts viewership tonight over 2.5 million, the current record, held by - ick - Sharktopus. I'm predicting 2.8. We'll see. Anywho, thanks for indulging me, if you did, and following this insane whim. Who knows? Maybe we'll get the chance to do this again in March when Battle of Los Angeles gets its SyFy premiere. Okay guys, sweet dreams, thanks for tuning in, and as always, stay committed!

P.S. final bitch count: 8 





 

1st Images of 200 MPH Hit the Web!

In typical Asylum fast-paced tradition, not a week has passed since the release of the poster for 200 MPH (this guy on the left here) and already we have the first images from the set. From what I can see, this looks to be a sleek, saucy and adrenaline-fueled film. Jaz Martin looks appropriately pretty-boy-renegade and our first good look at Annamaria De Mara reveals she is - as expected - drop-dead hot. The nice surprise among these images is that there appears to be a role for Committed-fave Paul Logan as "a cop with a secret." Awesome. 

200 MPH races onto DVD (I know, I know) April 26th of this year. 

Big Asylum News Day! Tidbits Galore!




So The Asylum site is all abuzz today, and there are some real gems of information being bandied about. First off, we get the first official trailer for 2010 Moby Dick, starring Barry Bostwick (in what looks like the most intense performance of his career) and Renee "Xena" O'Connor. I'm a big "Moby DIck" fan (tattooed half-sleeve to come), so I've been anticipating this one like a mofo; from what I see, this could satisfy my irrational expectations. Dig the Mega Shark look to the whale. Check out the awesomeness right here.









Furthermore, it's been reported that Battle of Los Angeles has wrapped principal photography as of today, and the first stills from the film have been released, including this badass shot of the lovely Nia Peeples in a scene that would have looked perfectly in place in Machete. Check out the other stills here, where you can also dig on the poster, also released today.
















Also announced today, The Asylum is having a pumpkin carving contest, giving we committed fans the opportunity to memorialize our favorite Asylum films in the oh-so temporary medium of pumpkins. The prize is pretty awesome: an advance, autographed copy of the best film of the year, Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, complete with bonus behind-the-scenes footage. Check out the rules and entry information and get ye to carving! 


And finally, though there are no links or any info whatsoever, another title has appeared in the Coming Soon box in the bottom right corner of The Asylum's homepage: Born Bad. I can't imagine what this one's about, but it better be a Paul Logan or Geoff Meed vehicle. More info as soon as it's available, promise!

Birthday Wishes/ inmate profile: Paul Logan

In Paul Logan, The Asylum got more than a pretty face and a chiseled physique, they got their first bona-fide action star. A veteran of six Asylum films (plus some uncredited stunt work, according to IMDB, on Titanic II), Logan possesses, as I think I've alluded to before, the stern charm of a pre-Over The Top Sylvester Stallone, teamed with the husky confidence of Jason Statham, and just a dash of the bulky fighting style of Governor Schwarzenegger. So imagine those three having a baby somehow, and Paul Logan is pretty much what you end up with. Good guy, bad guys, good guys with some bad tendencies or bad guys with good leanings, PL has totally owned every role he's taken for The Asylum, and as it stands, along with Kim Little, he is the longest-active Asylum actor, having worked with the gang from their very first film - Killers - all the way up to three releases this year. So he's thoroughly committed. And, as I know I've alluded to before, he has the best run in The Asylum. Really, watching this guy run, it's like stumbling upon a wild Clydesdale. Such command. Anyway, I digress; below please find Paul Logan's filmography with The Asylum. He can next be seen in Ballistica, a Bourne-looking action/spy thriller, releasing on November 16th.

  • Killers...Nicky
  • The Terminators...TR-4
  • MegaFault...Major Boyd Grayson
  • Ballistica...Damian
  • Mega Piranha...Jason Fitch
  • #1 Cheerleader Camp...Tom
It is also no coincidence that Mr. Logan's profile is posted today, because today is Mr. Logan's 38th birthday. Many happy returns of the day, Mr. Logan!

Consider yourself saluted.

977's Unsolicited Yet Copyrighted Pitch #3: THE RUN


In the spirit of the new direction 6 Guns pointed The Asylum, I humbly present this killer-gang thriller that's part western, part 70's-era slasher flick, and part revenge story. I call it, simply, The Run.

Based on the same historical anecdote that inspired both Samuel Fuller's Run of the Arrow and Cornell Wilde's The Naked Prey - the run of Lewis & Clark trailblazer John Colter from Blackfeet Indians - The Run begins at the outskirts of the Eastern Oregon desert, late summer 1978. Our protagonist, Franklin Delano Lund, 35, is relocating his wife, two sons and ailing father-in-law from Maryland to Oregon in search of work. He is a boatbuilder, trading Baltimore for Portland. When we meet him it is dawn of their tenth day on the road, and FDL is waking in his hammock to the rays of the new sun. If all goes well, by the time the sun sets again, they should be in Portland. If all goes well.

All Not Going Well #1: Soon after FDL and the fam hit the road that morning, the radiator in their old pickup truck cracks, stranding them along an isolated stretch of highway.

All Not Going Well #2: It takes well into that night before another vehicle is seen to approach them.

All Not Going Well #3: The vehicle in question is a pickup truck carrying seven men - rogues, scoundrels, sweaty psychos - who after feigning assistance, attack and abduct FDL and his family, dragging them off screaming into the empty night.

They are taken to a barn even further into the isolated desert where for the next few days they are humiliated and abused for the inebriated and heartless amusement of their captors, mostly FDL, that we see, but by the time these few days are over, FDL is the only member of his family left alive, and the fun has ended for his captors; now it's time to dispose of the last remaining witness (I'm leaving out a lot of details about their time in the barn, the little events that build to this Act One climax, because they're too sweet to give away here. one would hypothetically have to read the script.). But Roscoe, the leader of the gang, sees promise in FDL, he sees fire, so he doesn't want to just kill him, he wants to play with him for one last contest: the run of the arrow.

The run of the arrow works as follows: FDL is made to strip naked. Then, the gang's best archer (yes, they have a best archer) fires an arrow as far as he can into the desert. Upon this arrow landing, FDL is instructed to walk to it, and when he reaches it, he's told he should start to run. Why? FDL wants to know. Because, Roscoe informs him slyly, That's when the men start giving chase. That's when the game becomes kill or be killed. 

(FDL's naked, tired, dehydrated, hungry, battered and unarmed, of course, while his captors are whiskey-fueled, vicious, well-armed and used to hunting human prey. so...his odds aren't great [which makes him that much more empathetic and badass])

The next two acts of the film are this chase, FDL running through the desert, trying to gain any advantage he can, as one-by-one the men pursue him, forcing violent conflicts only one can walk away from. And when it isn't the men he's battling, it's the environment, the heat, the sand, his own thirst and hunger; every instant becomes survival. This chase is also a flight from character, as FDL struggles to save what is still good within himself from the rising murderous rage he feels over the deaths of his family, the cruel fate that brought him here, and the men who would play with his life like he was a bug. Ultimately, however, he realizes the only way he is going to survive is to have his revenge, to become like the men he despises - a ruthless, wanton killer. 

I won't give away any more - every detail is a spoiler in this one - but to say that in addition to his pursuers and the environment, FDL must also contend with mountain lions, deranged mountain folk, a coyote and heartbreak after heartbreak courtesy of thwarted salvation. And the ending, specifically the final scene, is, in my humble, responsible opinion, awesome

An engaging action-thriller and an intense character study, The Run is equal parts brutal and fragile, as are the psyches of most men pushed beyond their limits. It's about more than physical survival, more than cold vengeance, it's about what, if anything, can survive - emotionally, mentally, morally - when everything is ripped away from you and destroyed needlessly before your eyes. 

Think Cormac McCarthy meets Wes Craven, if I may be so pretentious, or Texas Chainsaw Massacre in Oregon minus the chainsaw. I'm seeing Jeff Denton as FDL, Sarah Lieving as his wife, and perhaps Paul Logan - if we can dirty him up, think Killers-era PL - as vicious alpha male Roscoe. And this pitch comes with a finished script.

I'm just sayin'.