whispers from another cell: News From Within The Asylum

2010 Moby Dick Released Today on DVD! (Kind of ) Commentary This Weekend!

That's right, today is MD-Day, so rush out right now to your local, independent video store or other legitimate rental source and snatch this one off the racks. Better yet, click over to The Asylum store and purchase a copy. It's well worth it. I've extolled the virtues of this one already, and I'm telling you, $17.99 is a deal for action of this magnitude. The longer I sit with the image of the whale, the more I love it. Melville would have been proud, I believe. 


But you don't have to take my word for it: hit up this link to The Asylum's blog, where they have a list of reviews from around the web. Careful though, spoilers abound, and though the story at origin you might know, there are certain Asylum stamps (courtesy of Paul Bales) on this one you don't want spoiled.


Once you have seen it, indulge in this special treat leaked to me by Trey Stokes himself, the man in the director's chair of 2010MD: Mr. Stokes and some colleagues have been doing weekly podcasts for nearly two years called Down In Front, in which they pick a film to insightfully analyze/savagely ridicule, and this week, they're giving the treatment to MD. Since Asylum movies - as yet - don't come with director commentaries, this will be the closest thing we've gotten so far. Stokes says the podcast will go live Sunday or Monday, and can be heard at www.downinfront.net. 

And by the by, for those who doubt my commitment to Moby Dick, my utter respect and pure love, not for The Asylum movie, necessarily, but rather the work it's based on, and therefore, in some small way, I guess, any incarnation it takes, I offer the flesh of my right forearm:

I don't make Dick jokes.


Mega Python vs. Gatoroid Gets a Release Date

So SyFy made it official today and announced a long-awaited release date for the Debbie Gibson-Tiffany toe-to-toe grudge match that is Mega Python vs. Gatoroid. January 29th is the date, 9p.m. on SyFy. That's a Saturday night, so tell your lady she's gonna have to either make other plans or kick it at home, because that's the night every man who was a pre-teen in the late 80's has nothing better to do, period. Let the countdown begin.





Less Than One Month Until Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus!

I know it seems too good to be true, but it isn't: as of today, there are exactly four weeks before the most eagerly anticipated non-Wizard sequel of the year hits our hot, greedy little hands. On December 21st Mega Shark is back in action, taking on Africa's deadliest secret, the ginormous crocosaurus. Who will win? Who will lose? How many innocents will die needlessly in the brawl? Hopefully scores, because expectations are definitely high for this one. Still no trailer, but I wouldn't be surprised if one drops in the next 48 hours, seeing as how 2010 Moby Dick is out and MSvC is next in the cue for release. Rest assured, as soon as I see it, you'll see it.

whipsers from another cell: News From Within The Asylum

2010 MOBY DICK Drops on DVD in T-Minus 12 Days!!!

In just a dozen short days the next Asylum production hits DVD stores nationwide. 2010 Moby Dick (for an explanation on why the 2010, check here) is an update on the classic book by Herman Melville, considered by many (present company included) to be the greatest novel ever penned by an American. In The Asylum's take, the setting has been shifted from a clipper ship in the Nineteenth Century to a "high tech submarine" in the modern era. Our captain is still Ahab, played here by Barry Bostwick, and he's still in maniacal pursuit of the vicious leviathan which maimed him. Ishmael in this version, however, has been transformed into the lovely vision that is Renee O'Connor - you know, Xena's babe - here named "Michelle Herman," a nice nod to both Ishmael and the original author. From all early looks, this one should be pretty awesome; the whale's been aggro-ed out, and Bostwick looks as though he's firing on all cylinders. Head over the the site, linked above, and check out the trailer, then get your place in line at your local, independent video store. This one's gonna move!

American Film Market Reveals Upcoming Asylum Projects

In case you missed my earlier post, the American Film Market recently held their annual conference in which three new Asylum titles and posters were revealed. Okay, so, two are brand new, one is the first poster there on the left for the upcoming Mega Python vs Gatoroid, which I mention pretty frequently. The other two, however, are totally new and as yet have no names of any sort publicly attached to them.

The first is an obvious tie-in to the upcoming Kenneth Branaugh Marvel Comic flick Thor, and is called The Almighty Thor. No IMDB page or mention of this one on The Asylum's site, and I can't tell who the fella in the poster is, so there's still a lot to learn about this one, but you can bet there's gonna be a lot of smashin' based on the looks of that hammer. Check out a brief synopsis: When the demon god Loki destroys the fortress of Valhalla and steals the Hammer of Invincibility, only the young hero Thor can protect earth from Armageddon. Mmm-hmm; smashin'.

 

Then there's 2012: Ice Age (see Numbers explanation above), which nothing at all is known about except the plot: The eruption of Mt Fuji--a “Supervolcano”--covers the earth in choking clouds. Humanity hurtles toward extinction as a group of scientists fight to break the grip of the new ice age. For my money, I'd like to see either Eric Forsberg (Mega Piranha) or Griff Furst (100 Million B.C.) helm this one. Both have worked in creature disasters, but it would be nice to see either take on a sweeping environmental epic. That said, I'm also envisioning David Michael Latt's work on Megafault and wondering if he isn't considering it for himself. Time will tell.



Another title, Born Bad, has appeared under the coming soon section in the bottom right hand corner of The Asylum's homepage, but there's absolutely no info on this one other than the title. I can only hope, though, given that title, it's being written by Geoff Meed for himself, or Paul Logan, or, god please, both. 

And we're still waiting on a poster for 1st Furry Valentine as well as a trailer for Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, the latter of which should hopefully debut in the next week or so, as the release is almost a month away, and once Moby Dick drops, they're going to need a new trailer to run on the site. As soon as either of these things are released, rest assured I'm on 'em. 

whispers from another cell: News From Within The Asylum

1st Furry Valentine Details Released

Last week The Asylum put up the page for their first announced feature of 2011, 1st Furry Valentine. I linked to the page the other day, and while I mentioned the director - Rachel Lee Goldenberg - and the plot - a princess(?) comes to live with American relatives and befriends a pony(??) held by a mean carnival owner(?!?) - but didn't get a chance to acknowledge some of the details, like cast.

Here's the low down - Fiona Perry, first-billed, is a little girl. My guess? She's our princess. Then there's Bobbi Joe Lathan, an older actress who's done a lot of TV; an American relative, perhaps. Also older, Ron Hajak, whose first film was The Swinging Cheerleaders, so, props there, and who recently returned to acting after a nearly two-decade hiatus; another American relative, probably. And finally there's Bill Oberst, Jr. a creepy-looking fella I'm willing to bet is the shady carnival owner.

So them's the deets for now. A family film. From The Asylum. About a princess and a pony, the two, like, greatest things in the history of ever as far as girl kids are concerned. Early prediction, this one's gonna do real well for The Asylum. I manage a video store (shock, I know), and the amount of direct-to-DVD schlock that comes out aimed at kids makes the direct-to-DVD horror flow look like a trickle. Kids'll watch anything with a bright cover, and their parents will let them. So put that pony nice and big on the cover, boys, and get that princess all princessed-up in the saddle, and I guarantee it'll bolt off the shelves like Secretariat at the Preakness. Ooh pink! Can you put the princess in pink? Awesome.

This one lands January 25th, in the New Year

Yet Another New Title Announced

But I covered this one yesterday, so click here or just scroll down a bit for all the juicy details (that exist thus far) on The Battle of Los Angeles, due out February 21st of next year. 

The one update I can give here, today, is another picture from The Asylum's twitter feed, this one of director Mark Atkins and actresses Nia Peeples and Theresa June-Tao on set. I can also tell you that the event the film is based on, is kinda true. That's it for now, but rest assured when I know more, you'll know more, guaranteed.

Keep 'em coming, guys!

Brothers in Blogs

A couple of foreign-based Asylum blogs have cropped up over the last couple of months. There's this one in Russian, and this inventive fella here in Hungarian. I don't understand a word of what's going on here, but I'm glad there's an international community of Asylum aficionados taking to the web to spread the love. Give 'em some hits, even if you don't speak the language. 

whipsers from another cell: News From Within The Asylum

8213 Gacy House Comes to DVD Tuesday, September 28

Of the 33 people famed serial killer John Wayne Gacy is credited with having killed, 26 were found in the crawl space of his Chicago home, and another three were buried in the backyard. If you're the sort who believes in injured spirits attaching themselves to the physical plane where they suffered the most, then the Gacy House is bound to be haunted as a motherfucker. The house itself was destroyed during the exhumations, but assuming someone rebuilt in the same location, it would be a Mecca of sorts to a paranormal investigator. Well, The Asylum has assumed it for you. Shot mockumentary style like Monster or The Blair Witch Project, Gacy House supposes a team of ghost hunters have come to spend the night in this infamous locale, with truly horrifying and gruesome results.

Gacy House is directed by longtime Asylum producer Anthony Fankhauser, who previously wrote and directed 2012 Supernova. Asylum virgins Jim Lewis and Matthew Temple anchor the cast, with Michael Gaglio (MSvC, Titanic II, 2010 Moby-Dick), and a few other fresh faces bringing the support.

Gacy House, as mentioned, drops on DVD Tuesday, September 28th. Look for my review a few days before.


Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus Enters Post-Production

In prior posts over the last week I've already published behind-the-scenes photos and production stills of the highly-anticipated Mega Shark sequel, bowing December 21st. But the underlying thread between these posts that I may not have emphasized strongly enough is that the film is now in post-production, meaning principal photography has wrapped and now it's all about editing and effects. No doubt at this very moment the magical elves at Tiny Juggernaut are hard at work crafting some bitchin' shark-pluck kill scene to trump the bungee-cord Sharktopus kill. In the weeks to come, we can expect poster art, maybe a teaser, maybe even a full-blown trailer. Until then, we can only do the most difficult thing known to man: we wait.

whispers from another cell: News From Within The Asylum

IN PRODUCTION: it's the wet dream of every man who was a teenage pop fan in the late 80's - Tiffany and Debbie Gibson together, in the same film, and cat-fighting no less!

From the director of Pet Sematary and the writer of #1 Cheerleader Camp comes MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID! Debbie is the hippie animal rights activist who frees illegal snakes in the Everglades, where they grow to Mega proportions and threaten the indigenous alligator population, protected by park-ranger Tiffany. What the Gatoroid is or how it factors into things is being kept under wraps, but I pray to god it has laser eyes and a hydraulic jaw. Expected to debut on SyFy next year, a trailer should be coming soon. In the meantime, take a look at that cat-fight in production right here.



CULTURE WATCH: If you have the misfortune of watching the Steve Carrell-Tina Fey debacle that is Date Night on DVD, check out the gag reel: in the scene in the apartment of James Franco and Mila Kunis' characters, when the closet is opened and the videos fall, a copy of Killers, directed by David Michael Latt, can be seen quite clearly.