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Showing posts with label Sherlock Holmes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sherlock Holmes. Show all posts

inmate profile: Paul Bales

Continuing to shine the Committed spotlight on the talent behind The Asylum's upcoming masterpiece Nazis at the Center of the Earth, we turn now to the imagination behind it all, the film's screenwriter (and one of The Asylum's 3 producers) Paul Bales.


NATCOTE marks Mr. Bales 8th script for the studio, and the list is pretty impressive: Killers 2, Legion of the Dead (which he also directed), The Da Vinci Treasure, 100 Million B.C., Mega Fault, Sherlock Homes and 2010 Moby Dick. All good films, but for my money, Sherlock and Moby are among the best the studio's ever put out; the former managed to mockbust not only the Holmes character, but also Robert Downey Jr.'s recent filmography, and the latter put a convincing modern twist on an established tale, plus gave Barry Bostwick reason to make his own whale-killin' gun.

Add all this together and what you get is one more reason to be super-psyched for the film event of 2012. Catch Nazis at the Center of the Earth on DVD, Blu-Ray and VOD on April 24th.

GRIMM'S SNOW WHITE on DVD Today!!!

Mirror mirror, on the wall, what the most awesome film on DVD today of all? 

A cumbersome opening, to be sure, but the long and short of it is, today, The Asylum's latest production introduces itself to the world via DVD/Blu-Ray/VOD: Grimm's Snow White.


Simply scroll down a few inches to find my notes on the film, which overall I thoroughly enjoyed as an intelligent, thrilling, fantastical twist on the fairy tale. GSW stars the lovely and talented Eliza Bennett as the titular princess, Jane March as her wicked and vain stepmother, and Jamie Thomas King as the charming Prince. 

Written by Naomi Selfman (Mega Python vs Gatoroid, 18 Year Old Virgin) and directed by Rachel Goldenberg (Sherlock Holmes, Princess and the Pony) - two of the Asylum's best, in my humble opinion - this one's a guaranteed good time, but don't take my word for it, I'm biased as hell, go see for yourself then spread the word!

inmate re-profile: Rachel Goldenberg

In honor of the DVD release of Grimm's Snow White on the 13th of March, Committed has been spotlighting the creative forces behind the film, and I thought the next inmate profiled should be the director, Rachel Goldenberg, whose resume with The Asylum is ridiculously impressive.


Besides the above-mentioned and forthcoming fairy-tale revamp, Ms. Goldenberg also helmed the well-received Princess and the Pony, the delightfully steampunk'd Sherlock Holmes and the strangely catchy Sunday School Musical. But beneath these three headlining gigs are a few years crammed to the hilt with production work for our favorite studio. Dig these credentials:


First Assistant Director on: 2012 Ice Age, The 7 Adventures of Sinbad, Princess of Mars, 2012 Supernova, Mega Fault, The Terminators, Monster, Alien vs. Hunter, I Am Omega


Line Producer on: Mega Fault, Dragonquest, Countdown:Jerusalem, 18 Year Old Virgin, Death Racers, Street Racer


And as though all this wasn't enough, she also wrote and edited two of her three directed-films for The Asylum, and over the last year or so has directed a handful of shorts for Funny or Die featuring the likes of Courteney Cox, Nia Vardelos, Bryan Cranston, Eric Stonestreet et al. Girl's got more hats than a Lids Store. If The Asylum put out Wheaties boxes (I know, work with me here), Rachel Goldenberg would for sure be one of the featured.

There's no doubt Ms. Goldenberg has a bright, bright, bright future ahead of her. My only hope is that she sticks around The Asylum long enough to make a few more films. I mean, it's a little late, but I'd line up for an Asylum Sherlock sequel; just sayin'...

That date again for the release of Ms. Goldenberg's latest film, Grimm's Snow White,  is March 13th. Add it to your cues now!

COMMITTED EXCLUSIVE: An Interview w/ Dragon Crusaders' Simon Lloyd-Roberts!

With Mark Atkins' Dragon Crusaders bowing on DVD for The Asylum this coming Tuesday, here at Committed I've been taking a closer look at some of the creative personnel behind this fantasy epic. Today, an exclusive interview with actor Simon Lloyd-Roberts, who plays the character "Maldwyn" in the film. Dragon Crusaders marks Mr. Lloyd-Roberts' third feature film, all three of which have been for The Asylum: Merlin and the War of Dragons (also a Mark Atkins' film), Sherlock Holmes and now Dragon Crusaders. Today also happens to be his birthday. Best wishes!


COMMITTED: Tell us a bit about where you’re from, and how you got into acting.

Simon Lloyd-Roberts: I'm born and raised in North Wales all of my [almost] 27 years now. If I had to describe where I live in the simplest terms, I would simply say there's lots of mountains, lots of green fields, and lots of castles. But that's why North Wales appeals so much as a location for making films, especially the kind of sword and sorcery epics Mark Atkins has made over here.

As for how I got into acting...the honest truth is I believe I simply turned round one day when I was about 10 years old and suddenly had this idea that I'd quite like to be an actor, and unlike most ideas I get into my head I actually stuck with this one. I took up training opportunities wherever I could find them, and just kept at it as the years went on. I'm glad to say I've finally started getting somewhere with it in the last few years.

C: Who were some of the actors you looked up to as an aspiring thespian?

SLR:  As a fellow Welshman, I would have to say Anthony Hopkins. I've always felt he brings a brilliant subtlety to all his work, and that he always blends it with just the right amount, and style, of charisma depending on the type of character he plays. I just think it's a bit of a shame that his success is almost always (in my opinion) based solely on the Hannibal Lecter films, because he's been in the business a long time, and he has done so much more stuff just as great as Silence Of The Lambs.

C:  You’ve made three films, all with The Asylum. How did you come to work with the studio?

SLR: It's really as a result of them coming over to North Wales to shoot some of their movies. Back in 2008 Mark Atkins came over to shoot Merlin And The War Of The Dragons, and he was already in contact at that time with Dylan Jones (my Merlin and Dragon Crusaders co-star), because he's an accomplished stunt horse rider as well as being an actor, and he wanted to get his stunt team involved in the film, and then with our agent Helen Pritchard, who was given the responsibility of helping to cast the film. I was just lucky enough to turn out to be exactly what he was looking for when auditioning the role of Merlin. It was undoubtedly my first really big break.

And since then I've also worked with Rachel Goldenberg very briefly on Sherlock Holmes nearly two years ago, and more recently I'm glad to say Mark Atkins was obviously happy enough to work with me again, because I was lucky enough to get one of the principal roles in Dragon Crusaders.

C:What’s it like working with Mark Atkins?


SLR: It's cool, really. Without doubt I owe him a lot because, like I said, he gave me my first big film break with Merlin three years ago, and at a time of my life when I'd begun to suffer a lot of self-doubt to the point where I was briefly considering packing in the acting dream, that gave me the lift I needed, and a new belief in myself.

I've always believed he has a lot of love for the stuff he films; the whole fantasy, myth and ancient legends thing. I think he has expressed an affection for North Wales as a film location ever since he was first there three years ago - I was always expecting him to eventually come back here to shoot another movie at some point. And he always manages to get the job done, often well and truly against the odds, so that's impressive enough in itself. It's even better when it's him and Scott Wheeler working together, as has been the case both times he's come to North Wales. They're a good partnership!

C: Those two Atkins’ films are also both fantasy films. Is that an area you feel particularly drawn to? What other sorts of genres or types of roles are you interested in?

SLR: Definitely! If it's something that combines fantasy with plenty of action and sword fighting then it gets my interest. I would be a happy man if I could spend the rest of my life working in films like that.

But one of my big interests, besides acting, is history. In the last few years I've also been lucky enough to land major parts in a National Geographic documentary series called Mystery Files, in which I've played a Russian prince involved in the killing of Rasputin, a Roman senator, and more recently got to portray Adolf Hitler during his German Army days in World War 1. They were all great, and challenging, projects to work on, and definitely the sort of film work I enjoy most - anything historical or period.

C: Without spoiling anything, what can you tell us about Dragon Crusaders, or your character, “Maldwyn?”

SLR: Honestly, the synopsis of the film on the Asylum website really tells you most of what you need to know. It's about a band of fugitive Knights Templar - all of them good men - who accidentally fall under a magical curse that dooms them to turn into evil monsters unless they can destroy the source of the curse. It's a fairly simple plot point that sets in motion all of the action that takes place in the film, and there is a lot of action to be had in this one. It has this element of "The evil that men are capable of" that I like a lot.

My character, Maldwyn, is the young member of this group of Templars. Despite his youth, he has a hardness and an edge to him, and has no hesitation rushing into danger and putting his life on the line to defend the innocent, and displays an athletic ability in battle to defeat his enemies - at least I THINK this was something like the character synopsis I was given for the audition, and it's what I've tried to go for in playing the role. How much of that I've actually managed to pull off, and how well, is another question (especially the whole "athletic" bit). I can only hope and pray!

C: Any projects on the horizon you’d like to mention?

SLR: Right now I'm waiting to hear word on a project I worked on back in March which, I believe, is nearing completion, and I'm very excited about, although I can't really give away very much about it. Also, there's a short film I worked on a couple of years ago, written by Helen Pritchard, which hasn't really seen the light of day until just recently, but has turned out really well and is now being planned as a pilot for a potential series of six short films.
Other than that, I'm just eagerly awaiting the release of Dragon Crusaders at the end of September. It will be good to see the whole cast and crew's hard work on display, hopefully for a lot of people's entertainment. Fingers crossed!

inmate profile: Dylan Jones

Continuing to shine the Committed spotlight on the creative talent behind The Asylum's upcoming Dragon Crusaders (on DVD September 27th), this time it falls upon actor Dylan Jones, who plays "John" in the movie.

From North Wales, Mr. Jones is something of a phenomena in my book: here's a guy with two passions in life - acting and horses - and the dude figured out how to successfully combine them. In 1997, he got a job as a rider in the Sam Neill miniseries "Merlin" (Merlin #1), and from there it was a go. As an actor, Mr. Jones has appeared in five films, four of them with The Asylum: Merlin and the War of Dragons (Merlin#2), Sherlock Holmes, The 7 Adventures of Sinbad and now Dragon Crusaders. In the first two and last of that filmography, Mr. Jones also served as the films' Horse Master, something he did as well for ten episodes of the BBC's "Merlin" (Merlin #3; hat trick!). 

Furthermore - oh yeah, there's more - Mr. Jones has also served as a Horse Supplier to some pretty big-name productions: Ridley Scott's Robin Hood, Steven Spielberg's upcoming War Horse and the currently-in-production films Clash of the Titans 2 and Snow White and the Huntsman, the K-Stewart/Thor one. He's also appeared in each of those films as a Horse Rider. 

So as you can see, Dylan Jones is quite the go-getter, a man with a distinct vision of what he wants and the drive to obtain it. Well done, sir! Check he and his steeds out Tuesday, September 27th, when Dragon Crusaders roars onto DVD.

New Asylum Title Announced (Kinda)

So, in this post over on The Asylum site, producer/writer Paul Bales gives us a look at Asylum coverage from around the world, including this list of the so-called "Worst of Cannes" - the "worst" projects offered at the prestigious festival - on which a project they "haven't even made" made an appearance. And the title of that project? Brace yourself:

NAZIS AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH

Holy fucking shit, right?! If that's not the greatest title/premise for a movie, I don't know what is.

Furthermore, when I expressed my unbridled elation for such a project on The Asylum's comments board, Paul Bales himself replied to my reply saying not only is the project legit, but it springs from his very pen, the same pen that wrought Legion of the Dead, 2010 Moby Dick, Sherlock Holmes, MegaFault and 100 Million BC, among others.

No word what the plot may be, other than a brief mention of "mutant zombie Nazis threaten[ing] to overrun the world from their secret underground cavern," which could only be a reporter's speculation, but honestly, with a title as informative as that, as long as all the major elements are in play - Nazis, a secret world within the world, some kind of drill-car - this film will be one of the greatest things B-cinema ever conjured. Nazis. At the center of the Earth. C'mon, people, get excited!

The Asylum Soon to be Blowing Up Your TV! PLUS - A Lifetime Premiere for BORN BAD!!!


So, there's about to be a barrage of Asylum on your TV this summer. In addition to their usual rotations on SyFy and Chiller, the films of our favorite independent studio are also about to grace TMC, Showtime and...wait for it...LIFETIME!!!

That's right, writer/director Jared Cohn's Born Bad will gets it's television premiere four months before it drops on DVD on noe other than Lifetime. This is the studio's first appearance on Lifetime - naturally - and heralds a pretty bold shift (or at least an addition) to their creative direction. I was hoping Born Bad was the harbinger of other straight-up thrillers to come, and it looks like maybe it is. Born Bad stars Michael Welch (Twilight), Bonnie Dennison ("Guiding Light"), David Chokachi ("Baywatch") and Meredith Monroe ("Dawson's Creek"), and features none other than Bill Oberst Jr. and Gerald Webb, both of whom can be seen in August's Asylum release, A Haunting in Salem (surely the newest horror classic, but I digress...). Born Bad can be seen Monday, July 11th, at 8pm Eastern/Pacific.

But that's not the only Asylum-boob-tube news: Showtime and TMC are both picking up the delightfully-steampunk-intellectual-action-fest Sherlock Holmes (which, the more I watch, the more I love) from director Rachel Lee Goldenberg (Princess and the Pony, Sunday School Musical) and writer Paul Bales (2010 Moby Dick, Legion of the Dead). The film is currently airing on both networks, and then in July, TMC trades Sherlock for 6 Guns, The Asylum's only (and sooo awesome) western from writer Geoff Meed (I Am Omega) and director Shane Van Dyke (Titanic II, A Haunting in Salem (!!!)).

So as you can see, it's going to be a great summer on cable. Check out The Asylum's site for listings. 

inmate profile: Rachel Goldenberg

Ms. Goldenberg, obviously, is the one without the awesome mustache.
In honor of the DVD release of Princess and the Pony - formerly 1st Furry Valentine - on the 25th of this month, I thought the inmate profile should turn its spotlight on Renaissance woman Rachel Goldenberg, whose resume with The Asylum is ridiculously impressive, especially for someone who seems so young*.

Besides the above-mentioned and forthcoming family film, Ms. Goldenberg also helmed the delightfully steampunk'd Sherlock Holmes and the strangely catchy Sunday School Musical. But beneath these three headlining gigs are a few years crammed to the hilt with production work for our favorite studio. Dig these credentials:


First Assistant Director on: The 7 Adventures of Sinbad, Princess of Mars, 2012 Supernova, Mega Fault, The Terminators, Monster, Alien vs. Hunter, I Am Omega


Line Producer on: Mega Fault, Dragonquest, Countdown:Jerusalem, 18 Year Old Virgin, Death Racers, Street Racer


And as though all this wasn't enough, she also wrote and edited two of her three directed-films for The Asylum, the first and the forthcoming. Girl's got more hats than a Lids Store. If The Asylum put out Wheaties boxes (I know, work with me here), Rachel Goldenberg would for sure be one of the featured.

There's no doubt Ms. Goldenberg has a bright, bright, bright future ahead of her. My only hope is that she sticks around The Asylum long enough to make a few more films. After all, there is that  big-screen Sherlock Holmes sequel coming soon that just dying to be mockbusted...

That date again for the release of Ms. Goldenberg's latest film is January 25th. Add it to your cues now!


* I'm basing this statement on nothing more than mere conjecture, having found very little information on Ms. Goldenberg online beyond her IMDB profile and the above photo on The Asylum's Photostream. So any assumptions I make that are incorrect, or conclusions I draw that are not factual, I apologize. I'm not really a journalist or anything, you know. Just sayin'

A Look Back, A Look Ahead

On this, the final day of 2010, I thought it appropriate that we take a look back on the work done by The Asylum this last year, as well as peek into the future at the projects already lined up for 2011, now only hours away. A reminder that every single film released by The Asylum this year is up for Best Picture in the 1st Annual Looney Awards for Excellence in Asylum Films (voting ends Feb. 2, 2011). 

For a word from The Asylum themselves on the great year they've had, check out this morning's message to us all and click here.

So, without further adieu, a look back at the films that made 2010 possibly the biggest, most successful year yet in The Asylum's illustrious history:



Sherlock Holmes
directed by Rachel Lee Goldenberg
written by Paul Bales
starring Ben Syder, Gareth David-Lloyd, Dominic Keating


released 1/26/2010








Meteor Apocalypse
directed by Micho Rutare
written by Brian Brinkman & Micho Rutare
starring Joe Lando, Cooper Harris, Claudia Christian

released 2/23/2010






6 Guns
directed by Shane Van Dyke
written by Geoff Meed
starring Barry Van Dyke, Greg Evigan, Brian Wimmer, Sage Mears

released 3/30/2010






Mega Piranha
directed by Eric Forsberg
written by Eric Forsberg
starring Paul Logan, Tiffany, Barry Williams

released 4/27/2010






7 Adventures of Sinbad
directed by Adam Silver & Ben Hayflick
written by Adam Silver & Ben Hayflick
starring Patrick Muldoon, Bo Svenson, Kelly O'Leary

released 5/25/2010 






Airline Disaster
directed by John J. Willis, III
written by Paul Sinor & Victoria Dadi
starring Meredith Baxter, Scott Valentine, Lindsey McKeon

released 6/29/2010 








#1 Cheerleader Camp
directed by Mark Quod
written by Naomi Selfman
starring Jay Gillespie, Seth Cassell, Erica Duke, Harmony Blossom, Charlene Tilton


released 7/27/2010






Titanic II
directed by Shane Van Dyke
written by Shane Van Dyke
starring Shane Van Dyke, Marie Westbrook, Bruce Davison, Brooke Burns


released 8/24/2010








8213 Gacy House
directed by N/A (Anthony Fankhauser)
written by N/A (Anthony Fankhauser)
starring Mike Gaglio, Rachel Riley, Jim Lewis


released 9/28/2010







MILF
directed by Scott Wheeler
written by Jonny Haug
starring Jack Cullison, Phillip Marlett, Molinee Green, Jamie Bernadette


released 10/26/2010






2010: Moby Dick
directed by Trey Stokes
written by Paul Bales
starring Barry Bostwick, Renee O'Connor, Adam Grimes


released 11/23/2010






Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus
directed by Christopher Ray
written by Naomi Selfman
starring Jaleel White, Gary Stretch, Sarah Lieving, Robert Picardo


released 12/21/2010








And now a look ahead at the productions already on the docket for 2011:







Princess and the Pony
directed by Rachel Lee Goldenberg
written by Bill Parker & Rachel Lee Goldenberg
starring Fiona Perry, Bobbi Jo Lathan, Ron Hajak

to be released 1/25/2011








Mega Python vs. Gatoroid
directed by mary lambert
written by Naomi Selfman
starring Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, A Martinez

to be released on SyFy 1/29/2011






Battle of Los Angeles
directed by Mark Atkins
written by Mark Atkins
starring Kel Mitchell, Nia Peeples, Theresa Jun-Tao

to be released 3/15/2011






Almighty Thor
directed by Christopher Ray
written by Eric Forsberg
starring Cody Deal, Richard Grieco, Kevin Nash, Patricia Velasquez

to be released 5/10/2011






Ballistica
directed by Gary Jones
written by Tony Kandah & Sean Rourke
starring Paul Logan, Martin Kove, Robert Davi, Andrew Divoff

to be released 5/17/2011






2012: Ice Age
directed by ???
written by ???
starring ???

release date TBA




Born Bad
directed by ???
written by ???
starring ???

release date TBA


200 MPH: Midnight Racers
directed by ???
written by ???
starring ???

release date TBA


And there you have it, the year behind us, the year ahead. Speaking as to the year ahead, there's only eight projects announced thus far, meaning we can count on at least three or four more coming to light as we proceed into 2011. And as always, rest assured that as soon as any news drops on these or any other projects, you'll know a minute or so after I do. Happy New Year, thanks for reading, be safe and viva La Asylum!!!

observation notes: Sherlock Holmes

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's iconic character Sherlock Holmes has been on screen since the days of classic serials right up until the modern era, but never like this. Written by Asylum partner and acclaimed 2010 Moby Dick scribe Paul Bales, the film opens in 1940 amidst the German blitz of London. An aging "Professor" Watson is on the verge of death, and wants to commit to history the true secret of Sherlock Holmes and how he saved London from unspeakable (until now), unimaginable destruction. Cue the flashback.

It's 1882, and in the English Channel a clipper ship carrying precious cargo finds itself under siege from a large, tentacled creature. Not the typical start to a Sherlock Holmes story, but that's part of the brilliance of this script. While the creature-context may seem out of place for a detective story, it isn't out of place for the source author. Doyle, after all, also wrote creature fantasies, the most recognizable among them being "The Lost World," which has been the basis for no less than half a dozen films, including the second Jurassic Park and a certain Asylum monkey movie.

But back to the actual story: ashore, Holmes (Ben Syder) appears to a younger Watson (Gareth David-Lloyd) mid-autopsy to announce their summons to investigate the attack on the clipper ship. Holmes' acumen is quickly illustrated when he frees up Watson's afternoon by visually surmising all evidence any autopsy would have revealed. So let's see...smug, off-handed, unintentionally-condescending intelligence? Check.

So off go the original dynamic duo to a hospital where the lone survivor of the kraken attack, a midshipman with more than a quarter century before the mast, is emerging from his coma just as Holmes and Watson arrive. Nice touch here: when Watson bends to examine the midshipman, the tentacle-look to his stethoscope visibly freaks out the sailor. This is followed by his account of the attack, the what of it all, which Watson is quick to skeptically dismiss as shock manifesting as delusion. Holmes, of course, finds something in the midshipman's story worth believing, and so the investigation continues.

It's here another neat twist of plot first manifests itself: seems Holmes has an older brother he hasn't seen for seven years who's reported to be back on the London scene, and something about an embarrassment of some sort that resulted in said brother's full-paralysis. But this is just a quick hit, and the story moves on...

In London's seedy East End (Whitechapel-area, Jack the Ripper's hunting grounds), a young, naive virgin goes to visit a lady of the evening - appropriately named "Mrs. Pinchcock" - but this illicit tryst is unfortunately interrupted by the appearance of a ravenous dinosaur. Yep, that's right, you read me correctly: a dinosaur (at this point, my half-asleep wife muttered from the couch, "Wait, why is there a dinosaur?" Why, indeed, my love? Because The Asylum has learned a secret long known to purveyors of the fantastic: everything gets more interesting when a dinosaur enters the scene. Think about it, any movie you can name - Battlefield Earth, Annie Hall, Chariots of Fire; as great as they are, they'd be better with even one dinosaur thrown in for good measure. You know I'm right.)


So, just to catch you up, there's now a kraken and a dinosaur, and we're maybe half an hour in at this point. Awesome? Check.

Back to the bickering co-dependency of Holmes and Watson over breakfast and the morning newspaper. The story of the devoured virgin is there, and naturally captures Holmes' attention. The two take the customary perambulation for thought, which itself is interrupted by a hysterical and hysterically-high-pitched old man screaming nonsense about a monster in the woods. But it isn't nonsense, oh no. Cue dinosaur chase.


No spoiler to say our protagonists survive this scene, and it only fuels Holmes further, so he retreats to his experiments while Watson is called to see a patient, a wheelchair-bound man (Dominic Keating, a sort of British Jurgen Prochnow) attended by a beautiful young woman, his "niece." He requires medication for his many painful ailments, including the potent narcotic morphine. Watson is hesitant but eventually concedes, due in part to a shine he takes to the girl. He starts to make evening plans with her but Holmes cock-blocks him with an invitation to the East End to further investigate the findings of his analysis of the boy-monster(dinosaur) murder. 

Our characters all now firmly in place, the rest is spoilers.


Okay, so that's a lot of plot, but believe me when I say my assessment doesn't do justice to the tightly-crafted twists and turns and melding of myth and literature this script accomplishes. Ultimately, I found this to be a thrilling film that hit on a cerebral, adrenal and even comical level. 

One of the ways Sherlock shines and sets itself apart from other Asylum films was its lavish style, courtesy of the eye of director Rachel Lee Goldenberg. Each scene was replete with hue, texture and ambiance melding together to form a sepia-style, Burton-esque fantasy London, opulent in its steampunk-design that melds the worlds of Doyle, Jules Verne, and the recent filmography of Robert Downey Jr. into the perfect setting for an intelligent, action-packed sci-fi spectacle comparable in enjoyability - to me, at least - to its Hollywood tie-in. Aiding this effect are assured performances, atmospheric locations, accurate and fashionable costumes - I'd dress like either of these guys any day of the week, but I'm odd - astounding art direction, intense, well-designed and believable FX and a pulse-racing score. The script was inventive, respective, labyrinthine and familiarly comfortable, and easily the most engaging Asylum script of the year, with the possible exception of another Bales' project, a certain aforementioned whale movie. Goldenberg's direction was intense, exhilarating, ambitious and as such successful. Sherlock is the second film Goldenberg has directed for The Asylum, the first being Sunday School Musical. Her next project is the Asylum-family venture 1st Furry Valentine.

As for the performances, Ben Syder - for whom this is the only credit listed on IMDB - plays the famed sleuth as dismissively deadpan and admirably foppish, as though a brilliance such as his was to its bearer a frightful bore. David-Lloyd as Watson is the perfect counterpart to this, placidly skeptical and pointlessly loyal, a true sidekick.

Overall, and I know I'll get comments like I did when I made a similar declaration about Monster/Cloverfield, but I enjoyed this film more than I did the recent Hollywood version; for all their reinvention of the character, Ritchie and Downey turned him into a sort of lampoon of himself, too self-awaredly self-destructive and reckless for the legacy's own good - he's not a Victorian Indiana Jones, after all, but that's what Hollywood would have him. The Asylum's character feels just right, a balance of tradition and innovation that maintains the integrity of Doyle's hero. Syder may not have the swagger or smarm of Downey, but Sherlock Holmes isn't about swagger - he isn't a Victorian Shaft, either - he's about acumen, subtlety, and in those regards, Syder triumphs. A truly unique Sherlock Holmes experience awaits here, oddly appropriate for its liberties, and all-in-all, just plain entertaining.

What more can you ask for?

977's Unsolicited yet Copyrighted Pitch #6: THE MYSTERY OF FLANNAN ISLES


So the backstory is this: in 1900, seemingly in the middle of a meal, all three lighthouse keepers manning the lonely lighthouse on Scotland's Flannan Isles mysteriously disappeared without a trace, leading to more than a century of paranormal speculation and rational investigation that has still yet to produce a suitable and satisfactory explanation of events. Using this historical anecdote as a jumping-off point, I humbly present the pitch for The Mystery of Flannan Isles: A Charles Fort Adventure.

We open with our three, ill-fated lighthouse keepers enjoying the above-mentioned meal. Outside the weather is frightful, a strong storm is blowing off the sea and bringing wind and rain and crashing waves against the Isles' stone cliffs. Suddenly a frightful sound is heard, a cry like screeching metal or something mammoth screaming. The keepers are startled and exit the lighthouse to investigate. At the west landing, they find significant structural damage to iron railings and wooden platforms, too high above sea level to have been caused by waves. Then the sound again, and - without seeing their assailant - we watch the three keepers picked off one by one by something whose appearance turns the expressions of the hardened men to those of terrified children. The men dead, the sound slinks away, the storm rages on unwatched.

Cut to Eastern Europe, a small village in a mountainous range, gypsy-inhabited but for two men, both dressed in the academic fashion of the day, both in their mid-thirties. They are Charles Fort, paranormal investigator, and his assistant, Stanley Pelkington (who I'm picturing being played by Rhett Giles and Jay Gillespie, respectively), and they are here to investigate some supernatural phenomena such as red rain or strange lights, any of the myriad phenomena detailed in "The Complete Books of Charles Fort," (an outstanding read) that serve to introduce the man and his particular field of study, as well as his assistant's rational, scientific, skeptical and Scully-esque counter-approach. As he is wrapping up his research, a cable comes from London informing him on the occurrence at Flannan Isles. His curiosity piqued, they leave at once.

Once in Flannan Isles, CF finds the locals not at all eager to share what they know about the disappearance, any other disappearances on the island or their suspicions as to the cause of the disappearance, almost as though they are guarding a secret for their own, superstitious curiosity. Every small town distrusts outsiders, especially rural citizens against a cosmopolitan denizen like CF, but they are especially distrustful when they are a centuries-old small community isolated from the rest of the world on a small chain of islands in the North Atlantic. So CF will find little help here. His first obstacle is Finn, the caretaker of the Flannan Isles Lighthouse and a former keeper himself, not returned to the job until the Northern Lighthouse Board can find a suitable, more permanent replacement. Finn won't give any details other than to stir CF's preternatural leanings by admonishing that there are some answers better left undiscovered, some things man wasn't meant to be able to understand, only fear and respect. 

CF begins to study his books on local lore and tests or researches the possibilities rational (washed away, murder/suicide, abducted by pirates) and irrational (ghost ship, sea serpent, fabled monster bird) but it isn't until he meets the daughter of one of the disappeared keepers, the lovely lass Siobhan (The 7 Adventures of Sinbad's Kelly O'Leary) that CF becomes convinced the disappearance wasn't a rational thing at all. Seems Siobhan's old man had reservations about taking the job in the first place because of rumors of a ghostly serpent taller than the isles who appears during great storms and tries to smash the island to bits with the fury of waves. This ghost-serpent is supposedly the reason the lighthouse was erected here centuries ago, at the utmost northwest corner of Scotland: to guard the UK against spectral invasion from the wild, unknown, ephemeral Arctic regions. When her dad turned up missing, Siobhan knew the serpent was somehow responsible. Armed with this new knowledge and teammate, CF and crew investigate the creature and - without giving away too many act two and three twists - discover the only way it can be vanquished is to confront it and capture it in a stone reputed to be it's eye hardened to gem once plucked from its head by the lance of a long-ago lighthouse keeper. So Fort must find this stone, then this serpent, then capture it face to face if he is to save the island from its supernatural threat.

The nice thing, I think, about this pitch is the franchise it opens. Charles Fort, as the link above attests, was a real dude, the so-called "inventor of the supernatural," and, cinematically speaking, a kind of Indiana Jones of the paranormal, a Sherlock Holmes of the otherworld. Fort's books provide dozens above dozens of launching-pads for the sort of steampunk paranormal amalgam we saw in Rachel Lee Goldenberg's Sherlock Holmes. In fact, she'd be a great choice to direct this flagship film. She could even co-write with me, if she wanted; I'm amiably collaborative like that.

I'm just sayin'.