977's Unsolicited Yet Copyrighted Pitch #3: THE RUN

In the spirit of the new direction 6 Guns pointed The Asylum, I humbly present this killer-gang thriller that's part western, part 70's-era slasher flick, and part revenge story. I call it, simply, The Run.

Based on the same historical anecdote that inspired both Samuel Fuller's Run of the Arrow and Cornell Wilde's The Naked Prey - the run of Lewis & Clark trailblazer John Colter from Blackfeet Indians - The Run begins at the outskirts of the Eastern Oregon desert, late summer 1978. Our protagonist, Franklin Delano Lund, 35, is relocating his wife, two sons and ailing father-in-law from Maryland to Oregon in search of work. He is a boatbuilder, trading Baltimore for Portland. When we meet him it is dawn of their tenth day on the road, and FDL is waking in his hammock to the rays of the new sun. If all goes well, by the time the sun sets again, they should be in Portland. If all goes well.

All Not Going Well #1: Soon after FDL and the fam hit the road that morning, the radiator in their old pickup truck cracks, stranding them along an isolated stretch of highway.

All Not Going Well #2: It takes well into that night before another vehicle is seen to approach them.

All Not Going Well #3: The vehicle in question is a pickup truck carrying seven men - rogues, scoundrels, sweaty psychos - who after feigning assistance, attack and abduct FDL and his family, dragging them off screaming into the empty night.

They are taken to a barn even further into the isolated desert where for the next few days they are humiliated and abused for the inebriated and heartless amusement of their captors, mostly FDL, that we see, but by the time these few days are over, FDL is the only member of his family left alive, and the fun has ended for his captors; now it's time to dispose of the last remaining witness (I'm leaving out a lot of details about their time in the barn, the little events that build to this Act One climax, because they're too sweet to give away here. one would hypothetically have to read the script.). But Roscoe, the leader of the gang, sees promise in FDL, he sees fire, so he doesn't want to just kill him, he wants to play with him for one last contest: the run of the arrow.

The run of the arrow works as follows: FDL is made to strip naked. Then, the gang's best archer (yes, they have a best archer) fires an arrow as far as he can into the desert. Upon this arrow landing, FDL is instructed to walk to it, and when he reaches it, he's told he should start to run. Why? FDL wants to know. Because, Roscoe informs him slyly, That's when the men start giving chase. That's when the game becomes kill or be killed. 

(FDL's naked, tired, dehydrated, hungry, battered and unarmed, of course, while his captors are whiskey-fueled, vicious, well-armed and used to hunting human prey. so...his odds aren't great [which makes him that much more empathetic and badass])

The next two acts of the film are this chase, FDL running through the desert, trying to gain any advantage he can, as one-by-one the men pursue him, forcing violent conflicts only one can walk away from. And when it isn't the men he's battling, it's the environment, the heat, the sand, his own thirst and hunger; every instant becomes survival. This chase is also a flight from character, as FDL struggles to save what is still good within himself from the rising murderous rage he feels over the deaths of his family, the cruel fate that brought him here, and the men who would play with his life like he was a bug. Ultimately, however, he realizes the only way he is going to survive is to have his revenge, to become like the men he despises - a ruthless, wanton killer. 

I won't give away any more - every detail is a spoiler in this one - but to say that in addition to his pursuers and the environment, FDL must also contend with mountain lions, deranged mountain folk, a coyote and heartbreak after heartbreak courtesy of thwarted salvation. And the ending, specifically the final scene, is, in my humble, responsible opinion, awesome

An engaging action-thriller and an intense character study, The Run is equal parts brutal and fragile, as are the psyches of most men pushed beyond their limits. It's about more than physical survival, more than cold vengeance, it's about what, if anything, can survive - emotionally, mentally, morally - when everything is ripped away from you and destroyed needlessly before your eyes. 

Think Cormac McCarthy meets Wes Craven, if I may be so pretentious, or Texas Chainsaw Massacre in Oregon minus the chainsaw. I'm seeing Jeff Denton as FDL, Sarah Lieving as his wife, and perhaps Paul Logan - if we can dirty him up, think Killers-era PL - as vicious alpha male Roscoe. And this pitch comes with a finished script.

I'm just sayin'.

1st Furry Valentine Wraps Production! Details Revealed!

The Asylum's webpage is reporting that production on 1st Furry Valentine has wrapped, less than two weeks after we first heard mention of it. Gotta love that Asylum productivity. Along with the first images, available here, we also received word today that the film is in fact a children's movie, the first ever in Asylum history. So why the foray into a heretofor unexplored market for The Asylum? Who cares? It's a kids movie, from the people who brought you The 18 Year Old Virgin and When a Killer Calls; how could this be anything less than awesome?

observation notes: 6 Guns

6 Guns is the first out-and-out western by The Asylum, and as straight-to-DVD films of such a genre go, it's a success.

The story, written by Geoff Meed (Universal Soldiers, I Am Omega), concerns a family of homesteaders - Pa, Ma and two boys - whose domestic bliss is shattered by a pack of vigilantes come to enact vengeance for the death of their leader(also Geoff Meed)'s father, killed by Pa back when he was a quick-drawing lawman. Long story short, the men folk are killed and Ma is assaulted multiple times and left for dead. Big mistake.

At this point the film becomes a kind of feminist take on the Randolph Scott/Budd Boetticher revenge classic 7 Men From Now, here with Sage Mears as the wife substituting for Randolph Scott's grieving widower, seeking to enact a vengeance of her own.

(This follows an extended dance between Wifey and the bottle that at last comes to an end when she meets Bounty Hunter Extraordinaire Barry Van Dyke, who she asks to take shootin' lessons from, the training she needs for the recently-mentioned mission of vengeance. This is a pretty big plot point to be a parenthetical, I know, but this is how things got structured in my head, so here we are.)

Said training is finished just in time, fortunately enough, for the murderous vigilantes' return to town. From here there be spoilers, so let's just leave it at, the third act is the best, bringing to fruition all the lingering questions of character raised in the films 1st 2 3rds. One leaves the film fulfilled, if not a little uneasily hopeful, which I suspect was Meed's intention. Real nice resolution, and just a fine tale all around, well-executed.

Barry Van Dyke ("Diagnosis Murder," "Airwolf," "Galactica 1980") carries the film on his reserved grizzled-ness, his performance that of a calmly tortured, conflicted anti-hero of the sort westerns are supposed to have. Sage Mears is equally sweet and sour, soft and rigid, believable as both a victim and an avenger, as a woman ripped from her cocoon of happiness and hardening to the ways of a new world she finds herself navigating alone. Here's hoping this is only the first of Ms. Mears' collaborations with The Asylum.

And I can't forget the always-great Greg Evigan (100 Million B.C., Journey to the Center of the Earth), who shows up in this one as the local peacekeeper, endearingly played as amiable yet stern, a man long in his position and perhaps too comfortable as such, performing his duties with relaxed aplomb and a false sense of security.

Other standouts include, of course, screenwriter Meed as the mirthfully ruthless vigilante leader Lee Horn, a grade-A sociopath, Jude Gerard Prest (Mega Piranha) as the bartender/ whoremaster, and Shane Van Dyke (Barry's son, writer/director/star of Titanic II and the director of this here fine film as well) as a member of the vigilante pack. 6 Guns marks the third film Mr. Van Dyke the younger has directed for The Asylum, and the first time he's directed his father. The look of the film isn't typical of The Asylum, it feels a little cleaner, a little more cable-ready, a little more accessible. There's been a boom in direct-to-DVD westerns in the last three or four years, and this film feels like a wading-job by The Asylum, a test to see how warm the waters are. And like wading in murky water, it's tense fun. The script is tight, true to western themes, and cognizant of the cruelty and brutality that typified this often-glamorized era of American history. There are a few stereotypes present, but each is performed beyond that level by a confident and capable cast. The end result is a fine film, tense and thrilling, engaging and unnerving in parts, in short a quality western, roped together and hog-tied by Shane Van Dyke, who, along with his work on Titanic II has proven himself - if ever there were any doubters - as more than just a legacy; the guy's got genuine talent. Looking forward to a lot more from him, on both sides of the camera.

This one gets high marks all around. I'd love to see more films in this vein.

Clearing Up The Misperceptions

Great quick post here from someone high up at The Asylum, it's not attributed so I can't tell if it's Latt, Rimawi or Bales re-establishing The Asylum's view of itself for the clueless, kinda hateful masses who still don't get what's going on. 

I echo every one of these sentiments as a fan; what's described here is exactly the reason I love the work of The Asylum. We all have the big, important, meaningful films we want to see, but bottom line, we live in the real world - the real, taxing, draining, arduous, exhausting world - and by the time I flop down on my couch after a day's work, I don't always have the mental energy to engage or interact with a film. After all, it's the film's job to entertain me, not my job to be entertained. The Asylum shoulders this labor for me, giving me something I can put in, press play and be carried by for 80 to 90 minutes. "Art" is for students, teachers, critics and other sorts of men who can't grow proper facial hair. For the rest of us, the real us, there's media, there's culture, there's escapism; there's The Asylum.

P.S.  show a little love on the comments when you visit the link, let the guys know you care!

inmate profile: Eric Forsberg

Writer/Director Eric Forsberg has been a major productive force over at The Asylum for the last few years, with a seemingly-inexhaustible creativity that indicates he'll be churning out the hits for a while to come.

A native of Chicago, Forsberg started his writing and directing in the theater world, specifically in comedy, where one of his early successes was a noir-homage called Knatt Scatt Private Eye, starring a certain actor named Steve Carrell. This was in 1985. He also worked as an improv instructor for the famed Second City, teaching future notables such as - I shit you not - Stephen Colbert, Tim Meadows, Amy Sedaris and Rachel Dratch. So the guy knows talent, raw and honed. He's been in Hollywood going on 15 years and has carved a very comfortable - and well-deserved - spot at the big-kids table, Asylum-wise. Check his resume:

Writer or co-writer on:

Alien Abduction, Monster, Snakes on a Train, 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea, War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave, Sex Pot and Mega Piranha.

Director of:

Alien Abduction, Sex Pot and Mega Piranha

Quickly becoming our next auteur, this inmate has a feeling Forsberg's on the verge of dropping a bomb on us, and not the bad kind, like, "wow, that movie bombed," but like, big explosions and cool fire and shit like that, you know, the "bomb." Lingo isn't a strong suit of mine. My point being, give this guy a treatment with vs. in the title, and I got a feeling the bar's going to be blown through the roof. Bar, as in a thing that's raised, not a place one drinks. Jeez.

Eric Forsberg, consider yourself saluted.

Help Mega Shark Reign Supreme!

There's a real travesty happening on the web right now, one that only we, devoted inmates of The Asylum, can remedy. Over at an ordinarily bitchin' website, SucksOrRules.com, there's a battle brewing to see who sucks and who rules between our beloved Mega Shark and that laughable freak of nature Sharktopus. 

And friends, as it stands, Sharktopus Rules. Which means...I can't even say it.

Get thee to the web page, register (it's super easy and doesn't come with a bunch of spam bullshit, just good, geeky fun) and help turn this cultural frown upside down and re-install Mega Shark to his rightful throne as most bad-ass movie shark ever.

If we don't stand up to stuff like this, who will?

1st Furry Valentine IS Princess and the Pony

So, as I kind of reported earlier, there were a couple of new title hints from The Asylum last week, one listed under their COMING SOON page as 1st Furry Valentine, and another hinted at from photos on their twitter feed listed as The Princess and the Pony. Well, thanks to this new page on The Asylum website, we now know these two titles are to be one and the same movie, slated to come out January 25 of next year. Seems our princess' 1st furry valentine is a pony owned by a shady carnival owner she meets when coming to visit American relatives. As reported earlier, 1st Furry Valentine will be written and directed by Rachel Lee Goldenberg, most recently of Sherlock Holmes. This is it for now, but next Whispers From Another Cell I'll have more on this. Until then...

observation notes: Mega Piranha

"They were created to save mankind. Something went wrong."

Something always does.

The Asylum's answer to Alexandre Aja's mega-hit Piranha 3D, released months in advance of the big-budget gore-fest, ups the ante infinitely by making the hungry little Amazonian buggers not so little at all.

The film opens with the genre-tested maxim that you can let a hot chick lead you to water, but it's only going to get you eaten, in this case by a school of enraged and rapidly-growing Venezuelan piranha. From these horny bathers the school moves on to topless party-boaters and a pair of sleazy politicians, one of whom is the ridiculously corpulent ambassador to the United States. Well, you know we don't play that shit, so cue special forces operative and The Asylum's #1 badass, Paul Logan. While he's amassing weapons of massive-piranha annihilation, former pop sensation and COMMITTED-favorite Tiffany, starring here as some sort of fish scientist, along with her team of other fish scientists - the same team, as fate would have it, whose DNA tampering is responsible for this mega-problem - is discovering the danger for themselves. Tiffany, ever the moralist, breaks protocol to alert PL to the danger and enlist his help against both the Mega Piranha and the local, typically-stubborn and lazily-tyrannical military honchos. PL, at the behest of CIA director Greg Brady, decides to trust Tiff and go rogue, and it isn't long before this decision proves fruitful: they have to admit the piranha are getting mega, getting mega all the time, and, naturally, heading for every river system in the western hemisphere.

What ensues from here is a two-way struggle for our heroes, against both the mega piranha and the egotistical lieutenant seemingly hellbent on making a bad situation worse for no reason whatsoever. It's all spoilers from here on in, so I'll back off but to say it also becomes a struggle against time, because there's no ceiling to just how mega these piranha can get; by the end of the day, they'll be the size of whales - fucking whales - with no sign of cellular stabilization in sight. Meaning they could grow to the size of what? The Queen Mary? A skyscraper? Cleveland? That's fucking Mega, folks.

As for the FX, Tiny Juggernaut once again brings home the bacon, making the piranha equally fearsome and ferocious, no matter what their size, though things get proportionally more awesome the bigger they get, especially once they start stampeding and going all kamikaze and shit on coastal communities. Writer/Director and Asylum-staple Eric Forsberg (Sex Pot, Alien Abduction) shoots this one a little differently than other Asylum films, choosing a style slightly reminiscent of Crank or Smokin' Aces with ample title cards and McG-esque color schemes and quick cuts, and even motion-tampering. The fight scenes - that is the fights between PL and the MP - are especially cool, with an extra tip of the hat to the kick-fighting scene, and there are a few death scenes a la Deep Blue Sea that nearly made me spill my SoCo and Sprite (I'm amidst a no-beer bet with my wife).

As for performances, you guys know how I feel about Tiffany. I think she's the greatest thing to happen to the genre since Roy Scheider, I honestly do, and I think she's got a lot of room to grow the more and more films of this ilk she makes (re: Necrosis, Mega Python vs. Gatoroid ((fingers x-ed))), but here, well, how to say...let's just leave it at, I knew I was watching a pop star act.

Paul Logan, on the other hand, never plays an Asylum role he wasn't built for, and here is no exception. PL commands the screen with the prowess of a young Stallone and the steely gaze of Jason Statham. Charming, aggressive and snarky, and - I know I've said it before - but he's still got the best run of anyone in The Asylum's stable.

Rounding out the cast, as mentioned, is Greg "my name is Barry Williams, dammit" Brady as the CIA director. More often than not Greg's on screen by himself talking into a Blackberry, shot beneath blue or green lights, making him more than reminiscent of Howie Mandel in Little Monsters. But I didn't disbelieve him in the role, so that's something.

All in all, Mega Piranha isn't the best film The Asylum's made that starts with "Mega," but if you look away from some stilted dialogue and wordy scientific exposition, what you end up with is a fun, frightening Saturday night, and there ain't a damn thing wrong with that.

At Last! Video Clip of The Asylum on Carson Daly!

It took a few days, but at last the video of The Asylum on Carson Daly from last Friday night has been posted, and I happily link to it here, for all to enjoy. 

After you give it a watch or three, come on back here and blow up my comments' board with what you think. Let's get a dialogue started here, people!

outside the walls: Non-Asylum Inkings

So I'll admit it, there are films not produced by The Asylum. There always have been, always will be. These glasses I wear are not rose-colored. They are clear, and occasionally smudged with fingerprints. A sampling of non-Asylum films due soon and news that might spark the interest of Asylum fans. Just remember, Sweet 'n Low ain't Sugar.

Mothman Mini-Review

I had the fortune of catching this 2010 SyFy release based on the same - albeit differently realized - legend behind The Mothman Prophecies; whereas the other film posits the being as a benevolent, if creepy and shrill, spirit who manifests itself to humans in places of and before great tragedy, such as the bridge collapse in Point Pleasant, West Virginia, in this particular film the Mothman is a spirit of vengeance, attaining justice for the very specific offense of murder gotten-away-with. The spirit is still confined to Point Pleasant, where apparently there are enough unsolved murders to satiate it.

Anywho, the film opens with 3 couples, school chums (including "Firefly" uber-hottie-next-door Jewel Staite), cavorting and drinking down by the local river. When a prank (conveniently utilizing the mothman myth) results in the accidental drowning of a young boy, the group decides, of course, not to "ruin the rest of our lives" by reporting the death, and thus cover it up by each smashing the dead boy in the head with a rock, you know, just so they're all nice and guilty. Flash forward ten years when a newspaper assignment sends journalist Jewel home again, where she is reunited with her old partners in crime just in time for the Mothman to begin enacting his vengeance.

Overall, I suppose it was a neat take on the legend - the turning of this caveat spirit into one of lethal justice - that gave an interesting spin to the hidden-groupcrime story, kind of like I Know What You Did in Mothman Country Ten Years Ago. The FX I really enjoyed; the mothman looked like a shadowy Frightener, and never came across - to me, at least - as overtly or obviously CGI. Jewel Staite just charms you even more, if that's possible.

Taken together, these elements make Mothman worth a watch, should you happen to be near SyFy when it's on, because as of yet there's no date for a DVD release. Jewel has a problem with that.


Mega-Shark-Ripoff Hauls in Major Ratings

It's true, the Roger Corman-backed SyFy original movie Sharktopus  raked in some major ratings when it premiered last Saturday night, 2.5 million viewers, to be precise. This made it a major player on cable for the week, trumping both the most recent episode of "Mad Men" on AMC and the season premiere of "Dexter," which still brought in it's highest ratings for a premiere episode to date.

What in the world does this mean? you might be asking yourself. It means people love sharks, they just fucking love them, everything about them - marveling at them, respecting them, fearing them - and why not? They're perfect, the most evolved species on the planet, and yes, I'm including us in that assessment. People love sharks, always have, always will. Too bad Sharktopus sucks. I mean it's lousy. Neat FX, sure, interesting concept, I guess, but the story, like the last Corman-shark-outing, Dinoshark was shit, and the dialogue worse. Eric Roberts is better than this, goddamnit. And if he's willing to do this tripe, I think he'd be damn proud to come over to The Asylum and make some quality creature features; there's a mega-something with his name all over it.

For those of you who tuned in and were as disappointed as I, join me in baited breath for the December 21st DVD release of Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus. It's going to be okay.


Red: Werewolf Hunter Trailer Released

SyFy dropped their latest original trailer last weeks for the upcoming Red: Werewolf Hunter, starring Felicia Day ("Buffy...," "Dr. Horrible...," "The Guild," ahem). The film, best I can tell, revolves around Felicia("Red")'s family, secret werewolf hunters and the combination of revealing themselves to the world through Felicia's boyfriend and some new kind of werwolf that threatens all they know. Check out the trailer here, then tune in to SyFy, Saturday night, October 30th, to see how it all goes down.

Thanks For 2,000 Hits!

As of 5 a.m. PST today, COMMITTED logged its 2,000th hit since going live on August 27 of this year. Not to get mushy or blow this out of proportion, I just wanted to say thanks for everybody that's been coming by. I've been having a lot of fun doing this, and it's nice to know I'm not doing it in a vacuum. Thanks also to The Asylum, who as of this point has yet to serve me with a cease and desist order, so, you know, that's good too.

It's going to be a big fall for The Asylum, four more films are slated to come out before the end of the year, including Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, which, if my finger on the cultural pulse is correct, should be the biggest Asylum picture to date, so rest assured if you like what I've been doing, you'll love what's coming up. Conversely, if you loathe what I've been doing, perhaps some new additions might change your mind.

Either way, we've only just begun, my fellow inmates, and thanks again for making this blog more than just an nutty fan's self-serving forum. You guys rock.

observation notes: King of the Lost World

This is where the distinction between "tie-in" and "mockbuster," I believe, is the most vivid. King of the Lost World is of course meant to draft attention from fans of King Kong, but instead of making a rote reinvention, The Asylum has here - as they did with Princess of Mars, the Avatar tie-in and The Land That Time Forgot, a Land of the Lost tie-in - returned to the source material, of sorts. King Kong is not based on a book, but there are tales it was suggested by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's novel "The Lost World," which also inspired "Jurassic Park" and Jurassic Park (and the sequel to the latter, of course; it's subtitled The Lost World.) It also feels as if The Asylum, when putting a modern touch on the storyline, was inspired by a certain television show that premiered just the year before. See how many words you get into the following sentence before you figure out what show I'm referring to; if it takes more than four, you're blocked for ten minutes: when a plane crashes on a strange island, survivors are left with a struggle for life that's going to take more than mere survival.

The survivors - a collection of Asylum all-stars including Bruce Boxleitner (Legion of the Dead, "Babylon 5"), Jeff Denton (The Beast of Bray Road, Pirates of Treasure Island), Rhett Giles (Frankenstein Reborn, Dracula's Curse), Andrew Lauer (Jane White is Sick & Twisted, War of the Worlds) and Sarah Lieving (pick any Asylum movie; 70-80% of the time she'll be in it) - make the inevitable decision to leave the beach in search of other survivors and the airplane's black box, not realizing they're entering a monstrous menagerie of Vernesian proportions: animals, insects, plants - you name it, it's out to get you on this island. So, predictably, things go south real quick.

First the toga-ed, juggalo-ed natives appear. Then the survivors come across a footprint the size of a fucking starter home. I don't know how other people travel, but me, if I come across something like that, a footprint I could park my car in, I go back the fuck where I came from. But instead of retreating to the beach and visibility from the air, our survivors decide to test that designation by tromping further into the obviously foreboding jungle. Along the way they find a downed plane with working missiles - lucky break, that - and a deranged Steve Railsback (Helter Skelter, The Stunt Man, Intermedio). The rest I'll let you unravel for yourself - say no to spoilers - but needless to say, creatures, fire and sweat-stained tank-tops abound. There's even a gratuitous breast scene that turns kinda lesbian, followed promptly by mild jungle torture, creature violence and revelations. And the monkey, the king of the lost world, I'll say just two things: it's really, really fucking big, really; and it makes a laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate appearance in the film.

Bottom line, I found the film to be enthralling, original and character driven instead of FX-heavy, though the FX present are effective. They're not Peter-Jackson FX, but aside from that monkey-T. Rex brawl, who the fuck cared? Bruce Boxleitner is viciously stoic as the passenger with a secret, and a gun, while Steve Railsback is rightfully ornery and emaciated, a convincing castaway madman, spouting "Lost" season one theories that the island is their Hell. Sarah Lieving and Jeff Denton are lovers once again as they were in The Beast of Bray Road, the former her typically hyper-motivated, fiercely-independent self, strong and brash, but still able to break just like a little girl, and the latter furrowedly concerned and quietly relentless.

Brought to you by the same writing triumvirate of Pirates of Treasure Island, and directed, as was that film, by Leigh Scott, the Peter Jackson of The Asylum, King of the Lost world is B-movie gold, and a goddamn good time.

Creature Feature: MEGA SHARK

New Column Alert! 


See, here at COMMITTED I'm waging a constant battle between my enthusiasm for Asylum films and the finite number of said films that have been made. To date, The Asylum has produced roughly 70 films, and whereas they're one of the most, if not the most, prolific studios in Hollywood, putting out a good ten or dozen a year, problem is I've already covered at least a third of these in posts or posts-in-waiting. So I gotta find other stuff to do besides just reviews, otherwise I'm going to enthusiastically write myself out of work.

Therefore I present to you COMMITTED's first Creature Feature, essentially the same thing as an Inmate Profile, but for the fact that the inmates profiled here are not human but, well, creatures. And what better creature to start things off with, what more iconic and emblematic illustration of the fine work by the fine folks at The Asylum than their greatest, most famous creation - the Mega Shark.

In his first outing for The Asylum, MS took on a merely giant octopus - in-between wreaking massive havoc on aircraft carriers, span bridges, etc. - and made a quick calamari (i know calamari is squid) of him (this is a spoiler, true, but only after the mega-spoiler of, you know, a sequel that isn't called Giant Octopus vs. Crocosaurus) - after all, what hope are tentacles against rows upon rows of razor-sharp teeth?


Let's consider the stats, culled from a combination of sources including the film itself, the venerable Wikipedia and this neat-o graphic I've posted before courtesy of Stephen Taubman (the infographics this guy creates are fucking awesome. i want to wallpaper my creepy basement with them and just geek the fuck out.): the mega shark is purported to be twice the size of the ancient megalodon, a.k.a. the biggest shark ever known. The megalodon typically came in at approximately 19 - 20 meters, or 62 - 65 feet, which would make - utilizing the breadth of my mathematical skills - our boy approximately 38 - 40 meters long, or roughly 120 -130 feet. Some other things that are roughly 120 -130 feet long: cell phone towers, thirteen-story buildings (if you can find one that will admit it), and the distance between home plate and second base on professional regulation baseball diamonds. As for weight, the megalodon tipped the scales at 100 - 120 tons, or 200,000 - 240,000 pounds. That would set MS at nearly half a million pounds, 400,000 - 480,000. Some other things totaling such a mass: 50 full-grown male African elephants, a blue whale and one calf, and 833 Andre the Giants at the time of Wrestlemania 3.

Essentially what we're dealing with here is a massive fucking eating machine capable of launching itself more than a mile into the air to take down a fully-loaded passenger jet. So suck on that, Jaws. Until they actually make a "MEG" movie (i am not counting this junk), you can forget the genetically-modified fare of Deep Blue Sea or Sharktopus, Mega Shark is the baddest thing in the water. Recognize.                                                             

But not all predators live (exclusively) in the water: on December 21, 2010, in DVD stores and cues everywhere, Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus drops hard. I foresee a tougher battle for MS this go-round; the croc may have less gripping appendages, but he's got more teeth, and that vicious tail, and he can escape onto land. If he was only a supercroc, I'd say this one was in the bag, but this is a crocosaurus, implying some age and evolution to him, which always equates to primal viciousness.

For the moment, however, this marvel of biology and animation (thanks, Tiny Juggernaut!) is the king of the hill when it comes to Asylum creatures, the one to topple if you want the crown. Crocosaurus is taking his shot this Christmas. Other suckers can feel free to take a number, because, one more time, can a Crocosaurus do this?

            
Doubt it. (but i fucking hope so).

Recap of Asylum's Big Night on TV!!!

So as reported yesterday, the NBC late-nite show "Last Call with Carson Daly" aired a spotlight on The Asylum as a part of their program, and damn straight I paced my drinking well-enough to be able to check it out. I'm still hunting online for a video of the segment, which I know will be posted eventually, but so far I'm coming up empty handed. But it was a great piece, fun to see the guys chatting things Asylum. 

As I predicted, we did indeed get a sit-down with all three head honchos, David Michael Latt, David Rimawi and Paul Bales. The guys talked company history, keys to evolving success and revealed a bit about how they see themselves in relation to the Hollywood System. As soon as I find a vid link, I'll post it, but in the meantime, a sampling of what I thought were some of the highlights:

 * The gang hinting (what many of us suspected) that their marketing plan may be evolving yet again to include more, larger creature features over mockbusters.

* David Michal Latt's awesome Mega Shark t-shirt .

* Their stance on mockbusters as satire: it's the situation that's absurd, the reactions, however, are serious, and if The Asylum is satirizing anything, they're satirizing the Hollywood studio system, who Paul Bales quipped were "as uncreative and unoriginal as we are."

* Speaking of Paul Bales, his closing thoughts to the interview have inspired a new feature: get ready for Asylum Drinking Games.

All in all it was a great outing that hopefully got their website a little more traffic today and in the weeks to come. But, oddly enough, this was not the only mention of The Asylum on TV last night. On TMZ's TV show (judge me if you will, but i caught this), paparazzi is following actor extraordinaire Billy Zane, and they ask him if he's seen or heard of a little film called...wait for it...cuz he was in the first one...Titanic II. Billy plays it aloof, which I think he's doing for the cameras, but while he's thinking they do throw in some clips from the Shane Van Dyke movie. More free publicity, the best kind.

So a big showing on networks for The Asylum last night. With a lot of great features coming out in the next few months, let's hope the excitement and interest just keeps building!

(photo courtesy of WIRED)

Birthday Wishes!!!

...are extended today to the lovey and multi-talented Tiffany, who turns a you-go-girl 39 today! Best wishes are of course extended to COMMITTED's favorite teen-queen turned scream-queen, who promises to have a great year ahead of her, the entire world waiting with baited breath for Mega Python vs. Gatoroid. Until then, however, I'm going to pour some Chablis, turn the lights low, the fire high, and just chill to some Dreams Never Die.

Happy birthday, Tiff, and thanks for the memories made, as well as those still to come. Aw yeah.

The Asylum on Network TV! Tonight! Tell Everyone!

Tonight on NBC - technically tomorrow morning - at 1:35 in the AM, there's a certain late-nite talk show that has made the very wise decision to do a feature on The Asylum. That show? "Last Call With Carson Daly."


The are only two words that come to mind to describe this: fucking awesome.


I've had my issues with Carson Daly in the past, but this wipes the slate clean. He's a stand-up guy, a perseverer, a champion of the unrecognized genius.

Whatever the plan is, my bet is we get a sit down with David Michael Latt and David Rimawi, the co-founders, and maybe Paul Bales, another bigwig, and maybe even some footage from upcoming films, like, say......Mega Shark 2? 


I'm not holding my breath on that last one, but bottom line, the guys are on TV tonight! Network! Awesome!

observation notes: Pirates of Treasure Island

What we have here is a rare and elusive thing, a thing of which until now only rumors have existed, a thing such as the Minotaur or the Loch Ness monster, more myth than reality, yet here it is, in all its shimmering uniquity: The Asylum PG(at least in Canada) picture! 

(WTF to the WTF power!?!?)

Okay, so maybe I'm going a little over the top, but there's something about watching weeks' worth of brutal horror, gory sci-fi, boob-y adventures and whatnot then suddenly switching to something tween appropriate; it's as jarring as walking in on your grandparents, but...opposite. I digress (too much).

This one's a double tie-in, tapping into the pirate popularity resurgence kicked into high gear by Keith Richards and the X-Pensive Winos, but also going to a source of sorts, the original pirate blockbuster, Robert Louis Stevenson's "Treasure Island." Either way Disney's calling their lawyers.

Of course The Asylum puts their twist on things: in this version it's young Jim Hawkins (Tom Nagel) who's the treasure hunter, and Long John Silver (Lance Henriksen) is nothing more than a scurvied bilge-rat of a mutineer and privateer with designs of his own on Master Hawkins' treasure. See, as the opening scene shows us, Long John's been on that island before, and not only does it hold great treasure, but also great peril in the form of things Mysterious, Jules Verne Mysterious, not the man, but...shit, this is getting convoluted, even for me; the island has a bunch of big insects on it, like the titular island of Jules Verne's "Mysterious Island." There we go.

So the men set sail, Jim above and Long John below, Jim's lady (Rebekah Kochan) secretly stowed away on board - for spoiler reasons I shan't mention - avoiding detection beneath an oversized coat and a tri-corner hat from under which only a few flaxen ringlets spill. What beautiful lady?

And the lady's just the first of the spoilers that start to unravel once Jim and Long John are finally on the high seas, and L.J.'s set his plan in motion. If that seems fast, it's because this one only clocks in at 80 minutes, a good 100 less than your average Johnny Depp seafarer.

Pirates was written in part and directed in full by - here's a familiar name - Leigh Scott, who though he produced some less-than-fluid fight scenes, managed the chaos and ribald choreography of pirates a'pirating with aplomb. As for the performances, Tom Nagel (Hillside Cannibals, The Apocalypse) was plenty heroic if a little plain-faced, the kind of actor you know considers Chris Evans and Sam Worthington role models, or at least templates. He was the only one who seemed to remember the era the film was supposed to be set in, and as such he stood out, which wasn't always a positive thing. Lance H. (Da Vinci Treasure, "Millennium") as Long John Silver was just plain fun to watch; his pure, animal intensity oddly works in this softer-than-usual setting. It's almost like he thinks he's in a comedy, which amused the shit out of me. The standout, however, for me at least, was the aforementioned Ms. Kochan (When a Killer Calls, Freakshow), who plays the pub-wench-love-interest with secrets to hide very effectively, very...wenchful: buxom, blond and grizzled, the kind of gal who could kick your ass just by thinking about, and look damn fine doing it.

Bottom line, Pirates... is a lighthearted and spry action-adventure, an equal balance of mirth and mortality. As for the PG rating, it's certainly not inappropriate for kids by any means, but, I mean, I wouldn't let my kid see it unless that kid was 10 or so, but I don't have a kid, I have a cat, so what the fuck do I know? Nothing, that's what. But some scenes still might be too intense for younger viewers, especially those afraid of loud noises, large insects, or creepy old dudes (sorry Lance, but you scare children, you know you do.).

inmate profile: Sarah Lieving

It doesn't get any more veteran than Sarah Lieving: in five years she's made twelve (if you count the upcoming Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, which I totally do) films with The Asylum, including the first seven of her career. Known for her hottie-next-door looks and her strong, playfully brash persona, Ms. Lieving is a palpable threat to steal every single scene she's in, and her ability to blend into a smaller role or triumphantly take the lead is unparalleled among her peers, making her a natural fit in any script sent her way.

Bottom line, Sarah Lieving is the quintessential Asylum actress, our poster girl, our scream-queen with smarts, the Jamie Lee Curtis, the Barbara Steele of her era. Peruse if you will a complete list of her work with the Asylum (because it's so damn impressive):

War of the Worlds (2005)...Nancy

Frankenstein Reborn (2005)...Jessica Halverson

The Beast of Bray Road (2005)...Kelly

King of the Lost World (2005)...Rita Summerlee

Dracula's Curse (2006)...Alex Deveraux

666: The Child (2006)...Erika Lawson

The 9/11 Commission Report (2006)...Valerie

The Hitchhiker (2007)...Melinda

The Apocalypse (2007)...Janis

Invasion of the Pod People (2007)...Louise

Airline Disaster (2010)...Annette Franklin(uncredited)

Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010)...Agent Hutchinson

Sarah's other notable upcoming projects include playing the Wicked Witch of the East in The Witches of Oz 3D, directed by Asylum alum Leigh Scott, and Super Shark, directed by Fred Olen Ray, father of MSvC director Christopher Ray.

Sarah Lieving, consider yourself saluted.

observation notes: Megafault

This one's kinda hard to pinpoint, mockbuster-wise. As far as the plot goes, it's a lot like 2012 in that it deals with a whole lot of tectonic plates shifting at once, threatening to rip the planet apart; but it also shares a plot, and a poster tagline, with the classic sci-fi film Crack in the World. So perhaps it's better not to think of this one as a mockbuster at all; truly, to do so takes away from what it actually is, and that's a rocking and rumbling action pic with real heart.

The story breaks down like this: a routine demolition blasting triggers a real fuck-up in the tectonic plates, producing not a major fault, or even a super fault, but the dreaded megafault. This megafault's ripping up shit left and right all across the country, racing from east to west, headed for California, and god help us then, because once megafault meets the San Andreas fault and all its ornery tributaries, the West Coast is going to drop into the ocean like a greased fat guy dumped into a hot tub from a wheelbarrow, also greased, sending megatsunamis across the Pacific. It's up to three people, apparently, to find a way to thwart the megafault before it can destroy the world: the director of FEMA (Bruce Davison), a feisty seismologist (Brittany Murphy) and the blaster who started this in the first place (Eriq LaSalle). And as if all this wasn't enough, at the same time they're also trying to find the seismologist's husband and young daughter, whose plane went down somewhere in Kansas. It's a cross-country adventure we're talking about here, people, pack your trail mix.

I really didn't find much not to like about this film. The first thing that usually detracts me is too much science, not enough chaos, an unsatisfying balance of exposition versus action. But not so here. There was plenty of science to back up the chaos, but the balance felt right, felt like ultimately Megafault knew what it was, and that's an action movie.

And man what action. The visual effects done by Tiny Juggernaut are among their best work for The Asylum. An especial hats off to the Washington Monument scene, and the petroleum truck sequence. Top-fucking-notch, no matter what studio has their name on it. Furthermore, the widespread, aerial shots of destruction were frighteningly realistic, and though not as intense as a Hollywood spectacle like 2012, somehow they felt more realistic, for its focus not on the major cities, but the heartland, destruction on a local level, and thus easier to relate to, for me at least.

Make no mistake people, there's no camp to this one. It's a full-on, balls-out, mega-disaster pic, and a pretty fucking good one, too. Throw Don Cheadle and Amanda Seyfried in this (you can keep Davison where he is) and you've got a $27 million opening weekend, at least.

And that above statement is not meant at all to detract from the performers that do inhabit these roles, merely to show how popular perception is often more influenced by who's in a movie than what it's about, or how well it's made. Bruce Davison - what can I say? The guy's an ace, every time. And it was nice to see Eriq LaSalle again; I'm sure he's been working, but I haven't seen him since "ER." He brings that same sort of brooding intensity to this role, that burdened, soulful, weary resilience, an unflappable Job. Brittany Murphy, honestly, is the weak spot. I feel bad saying that (you know...). She was capable at most things, exceptional at others (I've always thought that was her Oscar from Girl, Interrupted), but here she's just out of place. She's believable for half of the movie, where she plays a concerned mother desperate to be reunited with her family, but as a seismologist, and an ace one at that, she sounded like she was just reading words to me. Well-written, well-spoken words, I just didn't see her in the role. But this does not detract from the overall enjoyment of the film one bit. Nice work also by Paul Logan (Mega Piranha), who, I've decided, has the best run in The Asylum universe, and Justin Hartley (Green Arrow on "Smallville") as Brittany's husband, a guy who survives a plane crash, multiple earthquakes and a petroleum tanker explosion, among other hardships, and never takes off his tie. That's commitment.

Megafault was directed by The Man, David Michael Latt, who perfectly balances the precision of individuals' fears with epic, sweeping panoramic portraits of the rioting landscape, the film's villain after all.

Engaging, thrilling, and all around pretty fucking awesome. Megafault's the real deal, and a real fun way to spend an hour and a half.

Get Thee To Gacy House!

 

While the rest of the world is racing to their local, independent video stores for copies of Iron Man 2 (eh.) and Get Him to the Greek (meh.), the true cinephile is foaming at the mouth for the latest Asylum flick, 8213 Gacy House. So do yourself a favor, scroll down a little bit and read my review, then scamper away young ones, and get yourself a night of frightening entertainment. Viva La Asylum!

outside the walls: Non-Asylum Inkings

Just a quick one here, a mini-review for a film coming out on DVD tomorrow, Frozen, written and directed by Adam Green, the visionary force behind slasher-neo-classic Hatchet. Frozen has so far been the sleeper horror hit of the year, and is described in a blurb from Bloody Disgusting's Brad Miska as capable of "do[ing} for skiing what Jaws did for swimming." Interesting blurb, especially considering one of the production companies behind the film is called A Bigger Boat.

Frozen concerns three friends too cheap to pay full price for lift tickets at a skiing resort. They bribe their way on the lifts instead and spend the day shredding the slopes (or whatever the kids call it these days), but when it comes closing time, our protagonists, being the greedy things they are, covet one last run and, avoiding impending weather warnings, bribe their way up yet again. And as greed is a deadly sin, it has mortal consequences: a series of mishaps leads to our heroes getting stranded on the ski lift halfway up the mountain when the resort unknowingly shuts down around them, killing all the lights, all the power. Worse yet, the resort is only open on weekends, and all this goes down on Sunday night. Meaning the resort won't open again for another five days. Meaning no one will be around for another five days. Zoinks.

This is only the first, however, in a series of unfortunate events: the aforementioned weather coming to fruition, they miss being spotted by the last plow, an ill-advised jump shatters both the legs of one of the three and, oh yeah, there's the local carnivorous fauna to contend with.

Part Lifeboat, part Open Water, Frozen's success is due to its inventive script played by a capable cast (Emma Bell - "Amy" in the upcoming AMC series "The Walking Dead" ; Kevin Zegers - Dawn of the Dead '04, Wrong Turn; Shawn Ashmore - "Iceman" of the X-Men franchise, The Ruins), though Zegers is a little to pretty for the homespun beauty of Bell, but that's just nitpicky. This is Shawn Ashmore's best work to date as the snarky third wheel stoner lothario. As an ensemble, however, the cast makes the tension palpable and the terror tangible. The result is a superbly-crafted and incredibly intense, teeth-gritting thriller. Grab a copy on Tuesday with 8213 Gacy House for a nightmare-inducing double-feature.

977's Unsolicited Yet Copyrighted Pitch #2: THE FORGOTTEN CITY

So sometime in 2012 - hopefully before the world ends - Brad Pitt has a film coming out with director James Gray (The Yards, We Own The Night) based on the book "The Lost City of Z," which in turn is based on the real-life story of British explorer Percy Fawcett, who disappeared into the uncharted jungles of Brazil in 1925 with a team that included his own son, all in pursuit of a renowned lost city of lore, a quest that had already killed 100 men before Fawcett ever set foot in the Amazon basin. Brad Pitt plays Fawcett, and such is the reason, it is suspected, for that crazy ass goatee he was sporting for a while.

With that as the basic premise - an explorer goes on a dangerous, obsessive quest for a mythical city hidden somewhere in an unmapped jungle - I humbly present a tie-in, The Forgotten City, a blend of this story, Saul Bellow's novel "Henderson the Rain King." and a dash of King Solomon's Mines.

Richard Dancy is a cartographer - map-maker to the layman - in 1920's Britain, a man in his mid-30's, single and coldly academic. This is the result of his harsh upbringing by a famous explorer and therefore an often absent father, the revered Reginald Dancy, with whom Richard has a strained relationship at best. One day a triumvirate of members from the Royal Academy of Exploration comes with some rather foreboding news for Richard: his father has disappeared during his latest expedition, it has been six months since he was last heard from. Richard knows his father is had mounted his third expedition for the Forgotten City of Kuikugu (kwee-coo-joo), a mythical civilization hidden somewhere in the deepest reaches of the Amazon basin in western Brazil, a place no other civilization exists even today, one of the last entirely unknown regions of the planet. The triumvirate implores Dancy the Younger to lead a rescue mission - since he knows both the maps and the region, having been on the second expedition with his father, a source of their falling out - of himself, two soldiers in the British army, a local guide and an associate cartographer assigned by the academy who just happens to be a woman. Hesitantly, and perhaps at the behest of his estranged-by-association mother, Richard agrees and the film shifts to the jungles of Brazil.


I don't want to give too many twists or turns away, but needless to say the journey through the jungle - using copies of older Dancy's maps, extrapolated from by the son based on what he knows of his father's cartography mindset, the father having taught the son - is arduous at best, beset with danger floral, faunal, native and from within. But I will tell you this: they do find the city, and they do find a culture still living there, ruled by a god in flesh, as far as the natives are concerned. And this god? None other than Reginald Dancy. (this is where the "Henderson" comes in)


The rest amounts to this: the father has discovered the most significant archaeological and sociological discovery of the century, perhaps ever, and in the process he has been mistaken for a god by the primitive inhabitants here, a role he was only eager to play. He's gone mad with power, and instead of sharing this discovery with the world, he wants to horde over it, command it where it is, create a world, a society, a civilization, all of his own. Son wants to bring him back. He won't go. Son wants to go back, then, let people know Reginald is alive, let them know what he's discovered. Reginald won't be having any of that, either, because if the world knows, the world will come, and his idyllic kingdom will be destroyed. So he can't let his son leave. But his son won't stay. So...turmoil! 


The third act I'll keep to myself but to say it's awesome. As for casting, I'm seeing Brian Krause (2012 Supernova) as Dancy younger, maybe Jonny Lee Miller, if they can get him, but definitely John Rhys-Davies as Darcy the elder. The woman I think would be best suited for Natalie Stone (30,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls), and as far as the soldiers go, I'm happy so long as one of them is Geoff Meed (6 Guns, Airline Disaster).


Here's your tag line: "A lost civilization...that will do anything to remain that way."

And if this idea doesn't float your boat, but the idea of tying-in to Lost City... does, you could always just do a supernatural-action adaptation of the story of Hiram Bingham III, the American explorer who rediscovered Machu Picchu in 1911. Brian Krause would definitely be suited for that role.


I'm just sayin'.

Yet Another New Asylum Title?

So, I don't know if this is news, or pertinent, or not, but on The Asylum twitter page there have been two new behind-the-scenes photos posted from a production called The Princess and the Pony. Doesn't sound like an Asylum title, unless something quite foul happens to that pony, but it's on the page, and it's billing director Rachel Goldenberg, an Asylum vet who has worked as the first assistant director on eight films, a line producer on six others, and the director of two features - Sunday School Musical and Sherlock Holmes. Check the photos out here and here; not much to look at, but if this is a new Asylum film, and it is as schoolyard/kid-oriented as the pix would posit, this could be an interesting market shift for the fine folks at our favorite production company.

P.S. And i don't mean this disrespectfully, but how old is director Rachel Goldenberg? The photos make her appear teenish. All I could find, info-wise, is this interview from the blog Undead Backbrain, conducted when Sherlock Holmes was released on DVD. So then she's not a teen, she just has incredibly youthful genes, it would appear. Good for her. She also seems to be a Sarah-Lieving-like character over at The Asylum, behind-the-scenes, that is, with a hand in everything. I smell a profile brewing.

observation notes: The Beast of Bray Road

With all the cinematic attention vampires and zombies have gotten over the years, I've always been surprised that werewolves has never sparked the public interest. Sure, there are notables out there like Silver Bullet, Ginger Snaps, Dog Soldiers (you do not want to start a conversation with me about a certain Benicio Del Toro...project.), but contemplate this for a moment: before the Mormon-abstinence-telenovela that is Twilight burst onto the scene, the werewolf movie that most often came to mind for your average American under the age of 40 was Teen Wolf. Now I like Teen Wolf, a lot, I own the double-feature DVD with Teen Wolf Too, I even have a t-shirt like Stiles' that says "What Are You Looking at Dicknose," though truthfully that's more of an Always Sunny thing at this point, but I digress; the point is, there aren't a lot of great werewolf movies out there, and what there are are always low-budget. Hollywood should wake up, make a good old-fashioned werewolf pic, without setting it in a good old-fashioned era. Or making the werewolf some dreamy teenage boy. Or making the werewolves somehow subservient to vampires. Or painting them as pack animals. They are not. And they are not glamorous either, nor well-trained or pleased with their condition. Lycanthropy isn't a privilege, it's a curse. America's youth would do well to remember that.

Anyway, none of this has anything to do with The Beast of Bray Road, except that said film is indeed about a werewolf, a reportedly true one at that. Set in rural Wisconsin, the film starts as all good horror films should: with a pretty girl in a stalled car on a lonely stretch of road in the middle of the night. The requisite forest chase by a partially-seen snarling beast ensues. Screams, ripping flesh, and there's your beast - a cross between a werewolf, a bear and a critter - plus only half of the pretty lady. Bitchin' opening.

Well, this death sends a ripple of panic through the small town the lady hailed from, a bucolic hollow full of eccentric characters like tourism-hungry deputies, scandal-seeking budding bloggers, wanton floozies and all their customary small-town bullshit - remarkably like the setting and resulting feel of True Blood. I honestly caught a lot of similarities, despite this film being nearly six years old - all as seen through the eyes of a local sheriff (Jeff Denton), the standard-issue relocated big city cop with some brooding secrets.

Suspects are investigated but nothing pans out, and meanwhile the bodies keep coming, along with sightings from disreputable sources, leading the townsfolk to rather quickly and without much debate decide it must be the Beast of Bray Road. The scene where the legend was explained was my one problem with the script. I really don't like obvious exposition, and that's all this was. But it was mercifully brief, and truthfully the only (minor) flaw in what I thought was an otherwise great script. The other thing I had a problem with last night - the fact that the other law enforcement officers were actively and intentionally dropping the word "werewolf" to the press in order to drum up tourism - this morning I woke up really liking, I don't know why, it just strikes me the day after as pretty funny, and a believable adjustment to the crooked-cop scenario.

Anyway, from here it's basically cat and mouse: the beast kills, the cops get closer, and so on and so on until there's the final confrontation. As I'd like to keep this a relatively spoiler-free site - the point is to get you to watch the movies, after all - I'll just say that I thought I knew how it was ending, and when I figured out I was wrong, they dropped it on me before I could re-figure, another compliment to an excellent script.

So speaking of the script, it was written by the fantastic Leigh Scott, who also edited and directed the film. I've mentioned Mr. Scott here before, he's worked quite often with The Asylum (Frankenstein Reborn, The Hitchhiker, Transmorphers), and his newest film, The Witches of Oz, got a mention in this blog's first Outside the Walls entry. This was by far my favorite of his films to date. The script, as mentioned a few times, was excellent: it built suspense well, even with a full-reveal of the creature in the first five minutes, it scared you, made you laugh, and the characters - even the minor characters - felt fully fleshed out and were inhabited by capable actors at every turn. Denton (King of the Lost World, The 9/11 Commission Report) comes across as the beefy, jowly lovechild of Zack Braff and Dax Shepard and plays the role with the same sort of dry humor as those idiots, only more subtle, not out for amusement as much as he is diffusement, which isn't a word, but I think you get the gist. Other standouts include Sarah Lieving (the documentarian from Monster and E. Roby's oversexed sister in Pod People) as the sultry bartendress and love interest of Denton's Sheriff; Thomas Downey (Shapeshifter, Ballistica) as the Indiana-Jones-esque cryptozoologist; and Andy Lauer, best-known as "Charlie" on "Caroline in the City," as an abusive asshole.

Bottom line, this film was a lot of fun and a good scare, the result of an outstanding script and charged performances, and, of course, the sharp eye of Leigh Scott. It's my kind of werewolf movie.

This review is dedicated to the great state of Wisconsin.

New Asylum Title!!!

So, my sharp eye caught something new on The Asylum homepage today, under the COMING SOON section in the bottom right corner: a new title, 1st Furry Valentine. Now, I can't find anything else with this combination of words on the internet (aside from the cute little picture below) but rest-assured as soon as there's information to be learned, I'll learn it. And share it. With you. For now, just enjoy the picture.

on the other side is a spot shaped like a fist with extended middle finger.