977's Pitch #7: "Committed"

This pitch is going to be a little different than usual in that this time I'm not pitching a movie, but rather a television series. What's more, a reality series. What's even more, a SyFy original reality series. 

I think, given the network's continuing success in this market - from "Ghost Hunters" and its various incarnations, up through "Destination Truth," "Beast Legends" and, most recently, "Hollywood Treasure" - and given the network's ongoing relationship with a certain independent film studio, that it would make perfect sense, to me at least, for SyFy to commission an original documentary series centered around the fine folks at The Asylum. And what should be the name you this series, you might be asking? What else?

"COMMITTED"

The gist is this: each season of "Committed" contains ten, one-hour episodes, and focuses on the complete development and release of one Asylum film. Each step of the process is covered, from concept to script to production crew to casting to shooting to editing to marketing, allowing loyal viewers an inside look at The Asylum's unique, efficient and economic filmmaking style. Shows would air on Saturday nights at 8 p.m., and each season's finale would be immediately followed by the world premiere of the film that season focused on at 9 p.m., this being, of course, the standard time-slot for SyFy Originals.

As the shrewdest, most-talked-about little studio since AIP, the folks over at The Asylum have a unique perspective on the Hollywood system and subverting it that I think would absolutely appeal to the creative, nonconformist types glued to SyFy on a Saturday night. And just imagine: what if there had been a camera crew following around Arkoff, Nicholson and Corman in the early years of AIP, giving us a first-hand glance at the tricks of the trade that made them one of the most successful and beloved independents in American film history? Imagine watching the likes of Francis Ford Coppola, Peter Bogdanovich, Martin Scorsese, Johnathan Demme, James Cameron, et cetera as they learned and honed the skills that would one day make them legends? It would be a cinematic artifact of immeasurable worth. And it would be pretty fucking awesome, too. 

This is exactly where we are, I believe, in the development of The Asylum: almost fifteen years under their belt and production has taken over distribution, at least as far as public consciousness is concerned, and now "Asylum-film" is quickly becoming a genre in and of itself. The ripple of awareness is expanding beyond this one, small, niche pond, and the time to make a bigger splash is now. Everyone watching SyFy knows who The Asylum is, and at least 80% of them are curious, one way or another, to see just how these flicks are hatched. I might be estimating those numbers, and I'm certainly no expert, but it just seems to me that a show like this on a network like that at a time like this couldn't help but succeed for at least a few seasons.

I mean, really, who doesn't want to watch Jaleel White screentest? Or Eric Forsberg explain to Paul Logan where and how to kick the yet-to-be-added Mega Piranha? Or exactly what goes down at an Asylum staff meeting? 

Bottom line, people love movies, and more and more as technology is becoming more and more available, the die hard fans want to know how movies are made, perhaps looking to inform their own endeavors. SyFy fans in particular, I would wager, engage in creative projects of their own - from writing to art to filmmaking or animation - more than most other network fanbases. This makes them, in my mind, the perfect audience for a series showcasing the inner workings of a low-budget genre filmmaking juggernaut and Hollywood outsiders on the brink of exploding into cultural consciousness in a major, lasting way. I, for one, would be glued to my set.

And if producers should want to introduce the company to viewers through a new employee that comes on in episode one, a "Dr. Carter," if you will, through whose energetic, enthusiastic eyes we see the magic and marvel of filmmaking unfurl, I might know a guy willing to quit his day job and force his wife southward from Oregon. I might.

I'm just sayin'.

inmate profile: Naomi Selfman

Continuing my pledge to spotlight the creative forces behind next week's release of Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, here's another inmate profile, though shrouded in a tad bit of mystery. Naomi Selfman, the scribe behind this impending classic, has written half a dozen films for The Asylum, yet there's virtually no information about her online. This picture is the best I could find, and I only found that when out of frustration I Googled "mystery woman." Could be that "Naomi Selfman" is a pen name for another writer, or it could be that Ms. Selfman is just a digitally private person? Either way, the only purported sighting of her is said to come in the making-of featurette for her first script for The Asylum, the horror film Evil Eyes, but I didn't have immediate access to that when I wrote this.

Whoever she is, Ms. Selfman has time and again illustrated her ability to work across genres - be it horror, comedy, sci-fi or creature features - and turn in compelling, convincing, empathetic and exciting stories every time out. After Evil Eyes, Ms. Selfman took a four-year hiatus from screenwriting before contributing the story for the Faith Films epic 2012: Doomsday. Since then, it's been full-steam ahead for Ms. Selfman, writing four scripts in half as many years: the raucous sex comedies 18 Year-Old Virgin and #1 Cheerleader Camp, and, most noteworthy and the reason we're here, now, Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus. As though this last job wasn't esteemed enough, Ms. Selfman also wrote the screenplay for the equally-anticipated Mega Python vs. Gatoroid.

So what does this mystery woman mean to MSvC? Well, if nothing else, it means at least this time out the jokes will hit. There were a lot of comic lobs set up in the first one, but, let's face it, very few of them scored. Whatever she's done with the script, the fact that she was shortly thereafter picked to pen The Asylum's other marquee attraction of the next year (MPvG), means the partners have great faith in her ability to deliver an action-packed, thrilling, amusing and entertaining creature feature. And their faith's good enough for mine. 

Check out Ms. Selfman's script bring the goods ONE WEEK FROM TODAY!!! That's right only seven more days stand between the world and Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus. Come back here for my review this Friday, then come back again next Wednesday, the day after MSvC's release, for THE BIGGEST, MOST EXCITING POST IN COMMITTED's HISTORY!!! For real.

observation notes: The Apocalypse

Another from The Asylum's Faith Films subdivision, and one of three religious-based global-catastrophe spectacles - along with Meteor Apocalypse and 2012: Doomsday - The Apocalypse is, generally speaking, the story of one family's attempt to survive - physically and spiritually - the widespread chaos referenced by the title. And be certain, "apocalypse" here isn't some catch-all, rote end-of-the-world scenario; it's the full-on, soul-shattering brouhaha that makes Revelations easily the most popular book in the Bible.

Our film opens with a group of campers - among them cameos by Sarah Lieving and Leigh Scott - enjoying campfire conversation beneath a sky beautifully streaked with shooting stars. By "shooting stars," of course, I mean "meteorites," one of them fuc-, sorry, bleeping huge and heralded by a barrage of smaller projectiles that fall from the sky and rip this bucolic scene and its inhabitants to shreds. Thus the apocalypse begins.

Cut to a rugged park ranger (Rhett Giles) on the scene of a massive housefire. While he and his partner are stumped, we know it was a rain of hot rocks from the sky that torched the home. Soon enough they'll know it too: on the drive back to town, they discover said town has been eradicated, turned into a mass of molten rubble, courtesy of the heavens. Panicked now, it is revealed that RG has a daughter (Kristen Quintrall) he hasn't spoken to in quite a while living in Los Angeles; when the end is finally nigh, grudges and bygones are the first things to go.


Cut to said daughter, playfully frolicking with her boyfriend (Tom Nagel) while the world outside, unbeknown to them, is going to utter shit....sorry..."crap." This blissfully ignorant moment soon passes, however, when a roommate of the daughter (she has three, one of whom, not this one, is played by Erica Roby) calls them out to witness news footage of the widespread damage. The daughter freaks because the epicenter of the damage, Big Sur, is near where her mom, RG's ex (Jill Stapely), now resides. She's ready to run out the door into the heart of the devastation when a convenient phonecall comes from her mom: she's okay, she's coming to L.A., stay put til she gets there. It's at this point, maybe thirteen minutes in, that we get the first direct reference to God, made by another of the daughter's roommates, (still not Roby, but Shaley Scott, who may be related to Leigh Scott, as all four films she's acted in have been his) in reference to the entity with whom those lost in the day's holocaust now reside. This opinion is quickly shot down by the daughter, who seems a little too defensive to be idly philosophizing. But more on this to come.


Back to RG, who's watching the news, trying to get some idea of what's going on where. There's no big scientific explanation here, no scenes full of techno-garble, only raw data: a massive meteorite has shattered nearby and its shards are battering the planet, not just in California but everywhere in the country, in the world. At this point the Ex pops in on her way to see the daughter, finds RG and his partner amidst these startling discoveries. Well, she's got one more for them: this isn't going to be the only barrage, there's another meteorite coming, bigger, "the size of Texas" (aren' t they always?) and thus much more destructive, "an extinction starter." Call it what you will, use as many colorful nicknames as you can, but make no bones about it: the world is ending, real quickly, too, so the Ex demands that RG puts his bullshit - dammit, dam- "malarkey" behind him and accompany her to see their daughter before it's too late. While RG is pensively mulling this over, his partner makes the decision for him, saying that he is leaving them to reunite with his estranged father. Somehow this is the final straw that snaps the camel's back of RG's hesitance, and he realizes that it's all real, that it's really happening - the end. Make your peace and smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Meanwhile, in L.A., the daughter further ups the religious content by taking her boyfriend to a nearby church, understandably overrun with the frightened faithful. Contrary to what I was expecting - any time someone bothers to make an overtly Christian film, I naturally expect a fair amount of persuasion - this scene is very non-judgmental, non-dogmatic, and instead of painting the Christian faith as a self-righteous, all-powerful judging force, it is depicted as being a communal spirit of comfort, something the faithful make to support each other, the best, truthfully, one can hope organized religion to be: flexible to the needs of its flock while providing a constant base of faith and hope for salvation, physical or spiritual. At least, this how I see the daughter sees it. The boyfriend, on the other hand, is still skeptical, pointing to the perspective of most contemporary young folk that it isn't particularly fashionable or "groovy" to be a practicing Christian. Ultimately, however, it seems this line of passive questioning has only been inserted to make the point to any watching youths with their own doubts that such things are necessary, and in fact planted by God to test our faith, and therefore are further, stronger proof of his existence. I think. Religious rhetoric, perhaps purposely, confuses me. They (the producers) are embracing the youth's ambiguous stance toward faith and turning it to faith's advantage, is what I mean, is what I think they mean. Or maybe I'm just analyzing out of my ass - sorry, "rear-end," parting seas inside puddles. Either way, on with the mayhem, which kicks into high gear here.

RG and the Ex are on the road to L.A. and their daughter, racing a mega meteor hell-bent on sending them all to heaven. This is when the actual Rapture begins. The Actual Rapture, people disappearing and stuff. From here the film becomes a battle between faith and tragedy, both overwhelming, and what The End means to each individual character - the regretful father, the faithful ex, the headstrong, independent daughter and fearful boyfriend - and how they rectify their lives in the face of certain death. Spoilers beyond, so I relent.

 Overall, I found this film to be powerful, chilling and painfully realistic in its depiction of modern society's reaction to such a cataclysm: the chaos that compiles into anarchy, the muddle of fear and faith and hope and despondency and love that would naturally accompany total global annihilation is present and palpable here, thanks to wonderful FX - decapitation by meteorite, dudes melting in lava, waterspouts, tornadoes, mass structural damage and explosions galore, all courtesy of Tiny Juggernaut - that were pretty brutal for a Christian film, a string-based soundtrack (that was the highlight of pretty splotchy sound editing, especially when it came to vocals vs. explosions) that eerily set the mood between dismal and righteous, and a taut script from David Michael Latt and Carlos de los Rios that is both powerful and provocative, religious without being overbearing, and presents logical questions I think most of us - regardless of religious background, if any - would ask ourselves in the face of certain, inescapable oblivion. And of course, all these elements are brought together and anchored into a cohesive story by the intense, claustrophobic - I mean that as a compliment - direction of Justin Jones (Invasion of the Pod People) and the startlingly authentic performances by the trio of actors that seem entirely submerged - mentally, emotionally, spiritually - in the final moments of all our lives. Rhett Giles (Frankenstein Reborn, Way of the Vampire) plays his regretful park ranger as skeptically concerned, viciously brooding, and the tense center of the film. As a contrast, Jill Stapely (nothing else of note) inhabits the role of his ex-wife with ruthless faith, making her the spiritual anchor of the film, the unwavering light. 

But the most powerful performance of a powerfully-performed film - one of the best-acted in The Asylum's filmography, I dare say - belongs to Kristen Quintrall, who, as the wavering candleflame between her parents' viewpoints, the balance between their beliefs, raised faithful but with independent questions of her own, serves to represent the rest of us, those of us lacking the certainty of either philosophical extreme and who would find ourselves in the face of such a trauma just plain scared. Quintrall is an emotional juggernaut in this film, showcasing some big-time chops that could make her a veritable star in the genre. Plus, oh yeah, she edited the film too, pretty well, I'll point out. So, yeah, what did you do today?


All in all, while I typically don't go in for the rhetoric of these things - I was raised religious in the rural South, so I've had a good helping of all that stuff and find myself, well, stuffed - I still found this to be an engaging, exciting, thought-provoking and eerily resonant film. 

And I got through this whole post without an R.E.M. quip. It might not sound like much to you, but I'm proud of myself.

Almighty Thor Gets a Release Date! Plus, Crew Info!

So, according to the brand new page up at the Asylum site, Almighty Thor will be smashing into video stores on April 26, 2011. Furthermore, we now have a little more information on just who's involved. It was my understanding, and even confirmed by one of my readers, that Mega Piranha's Eric Forsberg would be writing the script, but on the page it's credited to Erik Estenberg. But then a quick IMDB search of Estenberg and I'm reminded he's most likely a pen name of Forsberg's, as his credits are for writing and directing Monster, which Forsberg did.

The synopsis for Thor is up as well, and reads as follows: 

"When the demon god Loki destroys the fortress of Valhalla and steals the Hammer of Invincibility, only the young hero Thor can protect Earth from armageddon."

In the director's chair, however, is not Forsberg as expected, but rather Christopher Ray, the cinematic genius behind the upcoming Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus. So from giant sea creatures to Norse gods. Not a bad year, Ray the Younger.

And lastly, in addition to the trio of men announced the other day, actress Patricia Velasquez is also being billed now. You may remember her from being the insanely hot chick from the first two Mummy movies.

Check Out This Audio Interview (not mine) w/ The Mega Popular Sarah Lieving

The single-most frequent contributing actor at The Asylum has yet another interview online this weekend, over at Pegasus News, based out of the Dallas-Fort Worth area. 

Nice new info here, a little more into Ms. Lieving's life before she entered The Asylum and thus our collective heart.

Ms. Lieving can next be seen, of course, on December 21st of this year with the release of Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, and then shortly thereafter in the similarly-themed, and -titled, Super Shark.

1st Furry Valentine Back to Being Princess and the Pony - And Gets a Poster

Things have come full circle, title-wise, in regards to The Asylum's first foray into family filmmaking: what began as Princess and the Pony changed it's name to 1st Furry Valentine (presumably for the same reason Moby Dick had a 2010 in front of it) but now has changed its named back to Princess and the Pony. Plus, they've given us a poster that appeals to every single 8 year old girl in the world: a princess in a pink dress, a pony, and a cute little dog, just to top things off.


I think this is a good move. I'm a big supporter of thwarting traditional ordering and placement techniques by prefixing titles with numbers, but in this one it never really made sense. First of all, the arrangement of words in the former title sounds kinda, well, kinda lewd, quite frankly, like, you know, this isn't a family film at all but a raucous sex comedy about a young man's first experiments with a trendy kink. And I'm sure that inference says more about me than it does the fine, chaste folks at The Asylum, but it rubbed me the wrong way (ew.). Secondly, while it might be biologically accurate, I don't think of horses as furry, I just don't. Rabbits are furry; bears are furry; chinchillas are furry; horses... horses are, I don't know, too slick to be furry. That adjective never worked for me. 

Anywho, bottom line, this name change is, I think, a good thing, and is sure to detract hater critics from being able to make the same lewd jokes I just did. The difference? I do it out of love, mad, crazy love. So skip over to the webpage for this one if you need an update on the synopsis. Princess and the Pony, written by Rachel Lee Goldenberg & Bill Parker and directed by Goldenberg, comes to DVD January 25, 2011.

 

A Committed Exclusive Interview with Geoff Meed!

Geoff Meed is, as I have referred to him many times, the Bo Jackson of The Asylum. A true double-threat, Meed has carefully molded himself from his beginnings as a stuntman into one of the most intense actors in The Asylum's stable, as well as one of its brightest, liveliest, and most well-received screenwriters. For The Asylum, Meed helped pen Unviersal Soldiers with some uncredited assistance from David Michael Latt, then went out on his own for the incredible I Am Omega, and the rough-and-tumble vengeance flick 6 Guns. Both of these latter scripts, while action-flicks, are bolstered by Meed's focus not only on the action and violence in these characters' lives, but also the emotional motivations behind their responses. In I Am Omega, Meed's script calls for actor Mark Dacascos to play the role of the supposed last man on Earth as a fragile warrior, a survivor at equal odds with the world outside and inside; in 6 Guns, it isn't the method of vengeance that is the heart of the film, it's the madness that fuels that method, the injuries sustained and not seen that guide our heroine. In a market where story isn't valued near as much as FX or cleavage, The Asylum has always stood apart as one company who still puts a value on narrative. The continual use of Geoff Meed is one such example of this commitment.

As an actor, Meed 's early career is peppered with appearances on various well-known television shows including "Renegade," "Walker Texas Ranger," "Babylon 5," "CSI," "ER," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and more. For The Asylum he has appeared in five films, including his latest two scripts. Mr. Meed continues to act outside The Asylum as well, keeping up his vigorous TV work and foraying into more major motion pictures, including the upcoming fifth installment of the Fast and Furious franchise. But as his career continues to climb to new heights, Mr. Meed stays close to home, revealing below, among other things, an upcoming project that has him back in familiar confines with pen in hand.



977: When did you first decide you wanted to work in the movies?

Geoff Meed: "I got kicked out of the University of Texas at Austin, and my parents finally realized what kind of trouble I was creating, so they brought me home to El Paso, where they had recently relocated. There was nothing to do, so out of pure boredom, I started acting at a community theatre my mom was a part of, and it kind of started from there."


977: Who came first? Geoff Meed the writer, or Geoff Meed the actor?

GM: "Geoff Meed the actor."


977: Tell us your first "I-made-it" moment in the business.

GM: "I had been out in L.A. for about a year and had done a couple of non-union acting jobs. I used to sneak onto the studio lots - something you can't do anymore - and I got a meeting with a casting director. He had me in the next day, and I got the job. That job got written out, so they paid off another actor and gave me his job...I got Taft Hartley-ed into SAG."


977: What got you into stuntwork, and how did you transition from that into acting and writing?

GM: "I came out to L.A. about 1990. I did the waiter/bouncer jobs for about a year, then found out about Universal Studios Theme Park hiring for their stunt shows. I went and auditioned and got hired. I learned how to do high falls, and further learned from all the real stuntmen up there, you basically lie when you get on set, and that's how you learn to do things like air ramps, ratchet pulls, etc. I've done a majority of my own stunts as an actor. Writing was something I started doing just to stay creative between acting jobs. My father was a writer. He had nine books published. Guess it was in the genes."


977: How did you come to work with The Asylum?

GM: "[Asylum partner and screenwriter] Paul Bales had been one of the stunt show managers up at Universal Studios. I was sort of notorious for being a loose cannon up there. Several years after he left, and I had left, I remembered his name when he was working at SAG. He remembered me too, but not for the same reasons. He introduced me to The Asylum, but nothing came from it until he went over there as a partner. They bought one of my scripts, and it started from there."


977: Speaking of scripts, how did you approach the script for I Am Omega, knowing that it would tie-in to not only a current film (I Am Legend), but also two previously-filmed versions (The Last Man on Earth, The Omega Man) and an original novel ("I Am Legend")? How did you seek to make it original, to make it yours?

Jennifer Lee Wiggins and Mark Dacascos, on-set Omega

GM: "I tried to show the character actually losing his mind. I don't think either Omega Man or ...Legend really showed that. But in I Am Omega, Renchard hallucinates - the clock and the news broadcast - he pops pills, he thinks he hears a woman calling to him. There was more in the script, but it didn't come across given the time constraints in filming. Ideally, what I had intended was that Renchard saw Brianna as a mirror image of his wife. It wasn't because we were so cheap that we hired one actress [Jennifer Lee Wiggins] to play both parts! Renchard hadn't seen a woman in so long, except for the image of his wife in his nightmares and videos and photos and such, he missed her so much, and he was losing his mind, so he saw Brianna looking exactly as his wife did."


977:  Let's move to your most recent Asylum script, 6 Guns, a western; where did that idea come from?

GM: "That was an idea Mark Dacascos came up with."


977: Were there any particular westerns that influenced you while writing 6 Guns?

GM: "All of Sergio Leone's spaghetti westerns. Once Upon a Time in the West is my favorite western, and I tried to think of that when I wrote 6 Guns. That, and all of Clint Eastwood's Man-With-No-Name trilogy [Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, The Good The Bad and The Ugly]."

977: You've acted in two out of three films you've written for The Asylum; do you know which role you'll be playing when you write it? If so, how does that effect the way you design the character?

GM: "Well, I always put a role in for me... Asylum is always really cool to let me play the bad guys. I just basically write a role that I think is something I haven't done before."


977: Have you ever considered upping your ante to triple-threat, and directing?

GM: "Yes. I'm supposed to direct something for Asylum eventually. I'd like to do a John Woo-type of action script."


977: What's you favorite among the work you've done for The Asylum?

GM: "I guess I'm most proud of 6 Guns. If we'd had millions, the script I originally wrote for I Am Omega would have been really cool."


977: Any scripts in progress now?

GM: "Yes, after working for a year on the treatment, I have just turned in the first draft to Asylum for a SyFy original movie. It's sort of Air Force One meets The Abyss."



For more info on Geoff Meed, check out his website.

Almighty Thor Casting News! This One's For The Ladies!

Attention all ye committed, the Hollywood Insider today dropped some major casting bombs in regards to the upcoming Asylum flick Almighty Thor, based on the Norwegian myth and, more importantly, the impending Marvel Comics movie. The biggest bomb? "21 Jump Street" and If Looks Could Kill star Richard Grieco has signed on to play Loki, Thor's trickster brother.

This begs the question, of course, who's playing Thor? That also has been revealed, in the form of strapping young lad Cody Deal, a model/actor who has quite the Scandinavian look to him.

And the last bit of casting info is that the role of Odin, head honcho of the Norse gods and father to Thor and Odin, will be played by Kevin Nash, the wrestler and actor whose credits include the Adam Sandler remake of The Longest Yard.


Almighty Thor is vaguely set for a 2011 release, and is being written by, if not directed, by the very capable and talented Eric Mega Piranha Forsberg.

I cannot over-emphasize the (personal) importance of Richard Grieco entering The Asylum. In my book, this guy has Billy Zane potential, that tongue-in-cheek retro-suave demeanor that works equally well in direct to DVD action-thrillers and offbeat comedy. Kudos to The Asylum for adding another old favorite to their stable. Let the resurrection begin!

Crocaloctopus Hoping to Strike!

As a guy who's pitched a project or two (see bottom) in his day, I can truly appreciate the campaign launched this week by Geek Tyrant writer Brian Shirley, to get his creation, Crocaloctopus, in a SyFy Saturday Original or an Asylum creature slugfest. Dig this press release:

      "Brian Shirley has his hands in everything these days. He not only has cemented his name with the geek culture that is GeekTyrant and Alien Bee, but he's also attached to several movie projects scheduled for 2011 including Witches Playground, and he'll be voicing the character GT along with scream queens Deneen Melody, who voices Valkira, and Kitsie Duncan as Anara for Jason Heath’s upcoming animated web series "Astronoir: The Fixers" scheduled for spring 2011.

     Shirley also has a scarecrow movie in the early planning stages along with his pet project simply titled Crocaloctopus. What started out as a joke has gotten attention from Syfy, comic book publishers and key entertainment suits. So what did Brian do? He has started a Crocaloctopus campaign geared towards Syfy and also The Asylum.
 
     With some help from genre artist Dennis Willman, the creature was brought to life in living color (so to speak). The campaign launched at the Dark Carnival Film Festival in Bloomington, Indiana on November 19-21 with T-shirts, etc. Brian was quoted as saying, “T-shirts makes the coolest business cards, and what better way to start a fun campaign and have the fans wearing a Crocaloctopus shirt. It’s also just fun to say!”

     Crocaloctopus’ goal is to have a Saturday night movie on Syfy (aka the new creature features the channel is putting out) or having The Asylum pick the story up and pit the hybrid creature up against one of its already familiar monsters in the stable.

     To keep up with all things Crocaloctopus, you can find the creature on Facebook and on Twitter. Yes, the monster is on Twitter! Brian wants to hear from the fans because he says, “Being a fan of these kinds of movies, this would be the pinnacle of my accomplishments so far.”

     If you are interested in a Crocaloctopus campaign T-shirt, just head on over to FastCustomShirts.com and pick one up for just $15.00 bucks!

A comic book is planned for spring of 2011. Look for more on Crocaloctopus soon."

Pretty cool idea, and a pretty daring self-marketing plan. Check out the Facebook and Twitter links and throw Shirley your support; if we can get Sam L. Jackson's dialogue in Snakes on a Plane tailored to our wishes, and get "Jericho" back on the air (we did our part, at least), then we can get Crocaloctopus locked into moral combat with a school of Mega Piranha. Believe it!



for more unsolicited suggestions, check out these:

Man-O-War
The Forgotten City
The Run
Casual Encounters
The People That Time Forgot
The Mystery of Flannan Isles

Observation Notes Catch-Up: Sci-Fi

I know not all my readers have been with me from the beginning, and I also know given the amount of postings I've made in such a short span of time, things can get lost in the shuffle. I also know that I'm not the best at tagging uniformly, so there might be a few things, specifically Observation Notes, that go unread. As such, periodically I like to remind you - with links! - of the films I've reviewed, and I think a good way of grouping these is by genre. So here, for your catching-up or even revisiting pleasure, are the Sci-Fi films produced by The Asylum that I've reviewed thus far (please note "creature feature" is a separate designation from sci-fi, so that list will come later), along with links to the original posts. Enjoy!

 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea 
 starring Lorenzo Lamas
 based on a novel by Jules Verne
 screenplay by Eric Forsberg
 directed by Gabriel Bologna

100 Million B.C.
starring Michael Gross, Christopher Atkins & Greg Evigan
screenplay by Paul Bales
directed by Louis Myman

 

2012: Doomsday
screenplay by Nick Everhart
directed by Nick Everhart

I Am Omega
based on a story by Richard Matheson
screenplay by Geoff Meed
directed by Griff Furst



 

Invasion of the Pod People
screenplay by Leigh Scott
directed by Justin Jones

Alien vs. Hunter
screenplay by David Michael Latt
directed by Scott Harper

Journey to the Center of the Earth
based on the novel by Jules Verne
screenplay by Steve Bevilacqua and Scott Wheeler
directed by Scott Wheeler and Davey Jones




 

The Land That Time Forgot
based on the novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs
written by Darren Dalton
directed by C. Thomas Howell

War of the Worlds 
based on the novel by H.G. Wells
screenplay by David Michael Latt & Carlos De Los Rios
directed by David Michael Latt

War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave
suggested by a novel by H.G. Wells
story by Steve Bevilacqua
screenplay by Karen Forsberg
directed by C. Thomas Howell

inmate profile: Gary Stretch

In order to properly preface the year's most hotly-anticipated sequel - Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, of course - I'm going to be posting more profiles than normal over the next few weeks to help get us all up to date on the creative forces behind this impending classic. Already in the virtual pages of this blog I've profiled actress Sarah Lieving and director Christopher Ray; if you don't know who the uber-talented Jaleel White is, I pity you, and I figure there are enough Trekkies in my readership that Robert Picardo of "Voyager"-fame needs no introduction, as well. But there's a dark horse in the cast I think bears closer examination, one Gary Stretch.

Bear with me a moment and consider something: Jason Statham. British, classically handsome, fit, fierce and simultaneously debonair, a dapper gangster with a steely attitude to match his fists, a grace in persona comparable only to his fluid mayhem. What could be cooler than Jason Statham? How about Gary fucking Stretch, who's all those things, plus, instead of being just an unfairly handsome British model, he also happens to be the glamour boy of early 90's British boxing. Yup, a for-real boxer.

A one-time light-middleweight champ, Stretch's one-two punch of personality and good lucks made him a staple in the British tabloids in his heyday, a popularity that helped pave the way for the inevitable transition into acting.

But before you start drawing comparisons to Stone Cold Steve Austin, John Cena or other muscular athletes who have tread the boards, Stretch is the real deal, often turning in impassioned, gritty performances that have earned him acclaim and accolades aplenty, including a British Independent Film Award nomination for his role alongside Paddy Considine in the 2004 thriller Dead Man's Shoes. It's performances such as that one which have kept Stretch's career on a steady ascent over the last few years, catching the eye of major Hollywood players including writer/director/firestarter Oliver Stone, who has used Mr. Stretch in two of his films, Alexander and World Trade Center.

In MSvC, Stretch plays a character named Nigel Putnam, who, based on what little I can deduce from the trailer, is some sort of giant crocodile expert, or at the least some sort of outdoorsy foreigner who first encounters Crocosaurus. Whatever he is, you can bet Stretch brings some smoldering intensity to the screen, and a bitchin' beard that kind of makes him look like a younger Lapidus from "Lost," or a scarier Pierce Brosnan in Seraphim Falls. 

So there you have it, the second-billed star in MSvC now revealed. Check out Gary's chops this December 21st when the films is released on DVD. Add it to your Netflix cues now!

Oh, and Mr Stretch? Consider yourself saluted.

observation notes: Sherlock Holmes

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's iconic character Sherlock Holmes has been on screen since the days of classic serials right up until the modern era, but never like this. Written by Asylum partner and acclaimed 2010 Moby Dick scribe Paul Bales, the film opens in 1940 amidst the German blitz of London. An aging "Professor" Watson is on the verge of death, and wants to commit to history the true secret of Sherlock Holmes and how he saved London from unspeakable (until now), unimaginable destruction. Cue the flashback.

It's 1882, and in the English Channel a clipper ship carrying precious cargo finds itself under siege from a large, tentacled creature. Not the typical start to a Sherlock Holmes story, but that's part of the brilliance of this script. While the creature-context may seem out of place for a detective story, it isn't out of place for the source author. Doyle, after all, also wrote creature fantasies, the most recognizable among them being "The Lost World," which has been the basis for no less than half a dozen films, including the second Jurassic Park and a certain Asylum monkey movie.

But back to the actual story: ashore, Holmes (Ben Syder) appears to a younger Watson (Gareth David-Lloyd) mid-autopsy to announce their summons to investigate the attack on the clipper ship. Holmes' acumen is quickly illustrated when he frees up Watson's afternoon by visually surmising all evidence any autopsy would have revealed. So let's see...smug, off-handed, unintentionally-condescending intelligence? Check.

So off go the original dynamic duo to a hospital where the lone survivor of the kraken attack, a midshipman with more than a quarter century before the mast, is emerging from his coma just as Holmes and Watson arrive. Nice touch here: when Watson bends to examine the midshipman, the tentacle-look to his stethoscope visibly freaks out the sailor. This is followed by his account of the attack, the what of it all, which Watson is quick to skeptically dismiss as shock manifesting as delusion. Holmes, of course, finds something in the midshipman's story worth believing, and so the investigation continues.

It's here another neat twist of plot first manifests itself: seems Holmes has an older brother he hasn't seen for seven years who's reported to be back on the London scene, and something about an embarrassment of some sort that resulted in said brother's full-paralysis. But this is just a quick hit, and the story moves on...

In London's seedy East End (Whitechapel-area, Jack the Ripper's hunting grounds), a young, naive virgin goes to visit a lady of the evening - appropriately named "Mrs. Pinchcock" - but this illicit tryst is unfortunately interrupted by the appearance of a ravenous dinosaur. Yep, that's right, you read me correctly: a dinosaur (at this point, my half-asleep wife muttered from the couch, "Wait, why is there a dinosaur?" Why, indeed, my love? Because The Asylum has learned a secret long known to purveyors of the fantastic: everything gets more interesting when a dinosaur enters the scene. Think about it, any movie you can name - Battlefield Earth, Annie Hall, Chariots of Fire; as great as they are, they'd be better with even one dinosaur thrown in for good measure. You know I'm right.)


So, just to catch you up, there's now a kraken and a dinosaur, and we're maybe half an hour in at this point. Awesome? Check.

Back to the bickering co-dependency of Holmes and Watson over breakfast and the morning newspaper. The story of the devoured virgin is there, and naturally captures Holmes' attention. The two take the customary perambulation for thought, which itself is interrupted by a hysterical and hysterically-high-pitched old man screaming nonsense about a monster in the woods. But it isn't nonsense, oh no. Cue dinosaur chase.


No spoiler to say our protagonists survive this scene, and it only fuels Holmes further, so he retreats to his experiments while Watson is called to see a patient, a wheelchair-bound man (Dominic Keating, a sort of British Jurgen Prochnow) attended by a beautiful young woman, his "niece." He requires medication for his many painful ailments, including the potent narcotic morphine. Watson is hesitant but eventually concedes, due in part to a shine he takes to the girl. He starts to make evening plans with her but Holmes cock-blocks him with an invitation to the East End to further investigate the findings of his analysis of the boy-monster(dinosaur) murder. 

Our characters all now firmly in place, the rest is spoilers.


Okay, so that's a lot of plot, but believe me when I say my assessment doesn't do justice to the tightly-crafted twists and turns and melding of myth and literature this script accomplishes. Ultimately, I found this to be a thrilling film that hit on a cerebral, adrenal and even comical level. 

One of the ways Sherlock shines and sets itself apart from other Asylum films was its lavish style, courtesy of the eye of director Rachel Lee Goldenberg. Each scene was replete with hue, texture and ambiance melding together to form a sepia-style, Burton-esque fantasy London, opulent in its steampunk-design that melds the worlds of Doyle, Jules Verne, and the recent filmography of Robert Downey Jr. into the perfect setting for an intelligent, action-packed sci-fi spectacle comparable in enjoyability - to me, at least - to its Hollywood tie-in. Aiding this effect are assured performances, atmospheric locations, accurate and fashionable costumes - I'd dress like either of these guys any day of the week, but I'm odd - astounding art direction, intense, well-designed and believable FX and a pulse-racing score. The script was inventive, respective, labyrinthine and familiarly comfortable, and easily the most engaging Asylum script of the year, with the possible exception of another Bales' project, a certain aforementioned whale movie. Goldenberg's direction was intense, exhilarating, ambitious and as such successful. Sherlock is the second film Goldenberg has directed for The Asylum, the first being Sunday School Musical. Her next project is the Asylum-family venture 1st Furry Valentine.

As for the performances, Ben Syder - for whom this is the only credit listed on IMDB - plays the famed sleuth as dismissively deadpan and admirably foppish, as though a brilliance such as his was to its bearer a frightful bore. David-Lloyd as Watson is the perfect counterpart to this, placidly skeptical and pointlessly loyal, a true sidekick.

Overall, and I know I'll get comments like I did when I made a similar declaration about Monster/Cloverfield, but I enjoyed this film more than I did the recent Hollywood version; for all their reinvention of the character, Ritchie and Downey turned him into a sort of lampoon of himself, too self-awaredly self-destructive and reckless for the legacy's own good - he's not a Victorian Indiana Jones, after all, but that's what Hollywood would have him. The Asylum's character feels just right, a balance of tradition and innovation that maintains the integrity of Doyle's hero. Syder may not have the swagger or smarm of Downey, but Sherlock Holmes isn't about swagger - he isn't a Victorian Shaft, either - he's about acumen, subtlety, and in those regards, Syder triumphs. A truly unique Sherlock Holmes experience awaits here, oddly appropriate for its liberties, and all-in-all, just plain entertaining.

What more can you ask for?

outside the walls: Non-Asylum Inklings

So I'll admit it, there are films not produced by The Asylum. There always have been, always will be. These glasses I wear are not rose-colored. They are clear, and occasionally smudged with fingerprints. A sampling of non-Asylum films due soon and news that might spark the interest of Asylum fans. Just remember, Sweet 'n Low ain't Sugar.

A Couple of Trailers to Peep

While nothing can trump the awesomeness that is the Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus trailer, there are a couple notable Norwegian films opening soon that might catch the interest of Asylum fans. That's right, you read correctly, both of these films are Norwegian, but they're dubbed, and they look awesome. In fact, between these and Let the Right One In, Scandinavia is quickly replacing the French as purveyors of the finest European horror. First up is a nice little Christmas movie that opens in the U.S. today in limited release, then expands over the rest of the month, Rare Exports.

 A synopsis from the site: "It's the eve of Christmas in northern Finland, and an 'archeological' dig has just unearthed the real Santa Claus. But this particular Santa isn't the one you want coming to town. When the local children begin mysteriously disappearing, young Pietari and his father Rauno, a reindeer hunter by trade, capture the mythological being and attempt to sell Santa to the misguided leader of the multinational corporation sponsoring the dig. Santa's elves, however, will stop at nothing to free their fearless leader from captivity. What ensues is a wildly humorous nightmare – a fantastically bizarre polemic on modern day morality."

Yup. You can check out the trailer at the film's website, as well as a schedule of when it opens where. It's been a while - maybe since Silent Night, Deadly Night 2, as I'm not counting the recent remake of Black Xmas as anything other than gratuitous jiggly eye candy - since we've had a good, old-fashioned scary Christmas movie; this looks like the perfect refresher.

Then there's the big gun, the film with a tagline that boasts, "The most important film of the year is Norwegian," and at the moment, I am hard-pressed to believe them (provided they mean other than MSvC, of course): The Troll Hunter. Part Blair Witch, part Cloverfield, all Norwegian, this horror spectacle is ripe for ripping off by an American studio, so I would recommend The Asylum get on this now before Matt Reeves is given another job. 

As of last month, The Troll Hunter has been picked up for U.S. distribution by the folks over at Magnet, and should hit our theaters sometime in 2011, I'm betting the latter half. Until then, watch this almost as many times as you would the MSvC trailer, and marvel at the finest idea to strike contemporary horror since 30 Days of Night. Hopefully, though, this one will not be a clusterfuck shitstorm like that film. Sorry David Slade, but you know I'm right.





Requisite SyFy Original Movie Schedule

They're not all as good as The Asylum productions, but rumor has it there are some other entertaining films under the wildly popular "SyFy Original Movies" banner, particularly those that air at 9 p.m. on Saturdays, quickly becoming the most creaturiffic night in all of television. A look at the upcoming schedule:

December 3 it's a Depp-athon, nothing original about that.

December 11, Ice Quake airs, starring Brendan Fehr ("Roswell," The Forsaken), Holly Dignard (Polar Storm, which airs just before this) and directed by Paul Ziller (Polar Storm, again airing just before, and Yeti, which airs just after, so it's a Ziller-Triple-Feature!) 

December 18 they again ditch the original program for studio schlock, The Cave, this time, but then they make it up to us on Christmas Day with a water-themed original movie marathon that includes such stellar titles as Sea Snakes, Frankenfish, Eye of the Beast, Lake Placid 3, Sea Beast, Snakehead Terror, Malibu Shark Attack, Shark Swarm and Spring Break Shark Attack. Now, I've seen each of these films, but never in a row. I'm looking forward to the challenge.

inmate profile: Christopher Ray

So yesterday the Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus trailer at long last hit the web, therefore I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to take a closer look at the man in the director's chair for this impending classic, one Christopher Ray (who is kinda tough to find a picture of online. that's supposedly him on the left).

I've made mention here before of Mr. Ray's cinematic background - his father is noted exploitation director Fred Olen Ray, who in more than thirty years of filmmaking has unleashed near one hundred titles, among them Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Evil Toons and Scalps. So you just knew it was only a matter of time before Ray the Younger stepped behind the camera, and fortunate for us, this progeny chose The Asylum for his feature debut!

Ray has directed twice before, but never for a feature release: in 2008 he directed Reptisaurus, a made-for-TV movie starring Gil Gerard, and a series called "Road to Rhythm." So it seems he has a little experience with creature features, and a little with TV, which makes him, in my book, the perfect mediator between Mega Shark, Crocosaurus, and Jaleel White.

Ray honed his Hollywood skills as an assistant director, PA and coordinator on more than a dozen of his father's films back in the 1990's, so you know he received a lot of on-set training from a master of his field. In fact, C-Ray's still working as a first assistant director, forever learning, on an upcoming C. Tom Howell film I've made mention of before, Camel Spiders.

So though this might be his feature directorial debut, Christopher Ray is no stranger to the game, no mere novice plunging feet-first into sacred, chummed waters -- he seems weathered, learned, and more than capable of delivering to us, the ever-expectant masses, simply one of the greatest monster shark films of all time (please please please).

No doubt Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus marks the beginning of a prosperous and proliferate directing career, so get on the bandwagon while there's still room. The film debuts on DVD December 21, 2010, only 19 short days from now.

It's Here! It's Here! It's Here! Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus Trailer!!!

At long last, the moment we've all been anxiously awaiting has arrived, the year's most eagerly anticipated trailer is finally here: Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus. From the looks of things, this has the potential to be the Best...Asylum...Film...EVER The film itself drops on December 21st, but until then, watch this over and over and over, and help make it, like its predecessor, one of the most Googled trailers of the year!

observation notes: 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea

Another stand-alone sci-fi thriller from The Asylum, this one a re-imagining of Jules Verne's classic sea-faring tale, the big change being that now the Nautilus is both mechanical marvel and monster, able to launch robot squids to inflict its altruistic terrorism on military, capitalistic and environmentally offensive targets (also, it takes places 10 leagues deeper than the novel, so, you know, it's more extreme).

When one of these targets - a US nuclear submarine - gets off a rescue buoy before going down in the Marianas Trench, the authorities are alerted to the fact that something fishy's going on (rimshot)(couldn't help myself), and enlist the services of Lieutenant Michael Aronnaux (Lorenzo Lamas), a Navy recovery specialist, and his team to recover, naturally, the missing sub's crew, if alive, and its nuclear stores, no matter what. What makes this team so adept at such a deep water recovery? you might be asking, if such aspects of marine technology interest you. Well, friends, it's something The Asylum whipped up called an "oxygenator," basically the opposite of the goo in The Abyss, some thing or another with the alchemical powers to transform sea water into breathable oxygen. Handy device, that.

Anywho, further complications arise when it turns out it won't be Lorenzo leading the recovery mission, though he's the most seasoned man on board. The key word here is "man." The mission will instead be lead by Lt. Cmdr. Lucille Conciel (Natalie Stone), a British woman inexplicably high-ranking in the US Navy, and, coincidentally, unless it's an Asylum film, Lorenzo's ex-wife.

Long story short, the recovery mission descends and is captured by Nemo, a brilliant but lunatic scientist who's built a submarine city deep below the surface and who's intent on stealing the oxygenator to help him resurrect and restore...wait for it...fucking Atlantis!!! Huzzah!!!

(oh, and he wants the warheads too, something about annihilating the surface world and all us filthy land-lubbers before he brings his precious utopia back to life. whatevs.)

The rest is spoilers.

Overall, 30K holds to the original conceit of the novel - one brilliant man pushed too far attempting to remedy an irredeemable society - while successfully giving it a palpable dose of 21st century fanaticism. The result is a suspenseful, thrilling, inventive sci-fi drama that lives up to it's legacy. Jules Verne would have been intrigued. Despite its hard, technical exterior, the film is driven by it's soft, character-oriented heart, a nice change from some similar Asylum films where explanation can dominate characterization. Not to say the technical aspects are lacking - especially the visual effects, robo-squids specifically, courtesy once again of the wizards at Tiny Juggernaut - but the true strength here lies in the strong, deft, well-paced script by Asylum staple Eric Forsberg (Mega Piranha, Snakes on a Train), and an array of solid performances.

Lorenzo Lamas (Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus) plays it suave and slick, boasting a stern yet restrained aggression, more "Falcon Crest" than "Renegade," i.e. a little phoned-in, but hey, what were you expecting? His ex-wife is played with harsh, taut and chilled vulnerability, like a dominatrix with her own safe word, by Ms. Stone (Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls), whose lips aren't nearly as inflated and thus not nearly as distracting as in the parenthetical film.

Sean Lawlor (MSvGO), the ninth man to play Captain Nemo onscreen, does so with bravado, whimsy and resolved, stoic insanity. He's believable believing his radical plans as practical and pragmatic solutions to a decaying civilization, and while his intelligence is never called into question, his sanity is never called out. Other Asylum regulars round out the cast, including Michael Tower (Invasion of the Pod People, Surpercroc, Dracula's Curse), Damien Puckler (Death Racers, 666: The Beast, Journey to the Center of the Earth), and Kim Little (Countdown: Jerusalem, The Apocalypse, The 9/11 Commission Report), who displays youthful exuberance as Lorenzo's doting technician.

Jules Verne is a Phillip K. Dick figure in sci-fi (it's the other way around, truthfully, but for my purposes i'm ordering it as such) in that nearly every idea the man ever had has been mined and re-mined and will be inevitably mined more in the future than it's been even to date. However, this one is nowhere near as hackneyed or contrived, or even derivative, as many of the other entries. 30K is, as I said, inventive, pertinent and fantastic, everything Verne himself wanted the story to be.

Another undisputed success, here, as far as this inmate's concerned.